Both Scarlett Johansson and Jennifer Love Hewitt are steaming mad over some recent accusations thrown their way about their less-than-perfect body parts. After pics of J Love in a bikini hit the blogosphere, she took to her blog to tell all the anonymous posters hurling insults at her (and her butt) to eff off. ScarJo is also pissed and preaching, and has issued a statement threatening to sue Us Weekly after they accused her of getting a nose job.
These stars may think that these are minor body infractions, but let’s be honest, lots of celebrities have let themselves go these days. How dare they have regular sized butts or average noses?! Their determination to be just like everyone else is a travesty. Below the jump we lay down the law with some other celebs who need to hit the gym and hop under the knife. If we’re gonna pay $12 to see some star in a movie, we demand airbrushed perfection! ScarJo and Jennifer couldn’t cut it, but there’s gotta be some hope for other celebs. Fix that sh*t!
Anyone surprised that Britney‘s latest accessory and closest confidante, Osama “Sam” Lufti, has a checkered past? UsWeekly revealed that Lufti, who most recently organized Brit’s 26th birthday shindig in Los Angeles, has two restraining orders against him, as well as a questionable resume when it comes to his “film producer” claims.
In 2005, a woman named Jumana Issa obtained a restraining order after Lufti harassed her with “obscene e-mails, offensive faxes, telephone voice mails, out-of-control behavior and outrageous telephone hang-ups.” The second restraining order was obtained by a former neighbor of Lufti’s, who stated that Lufti threated his mother’s life.
As for his film production career, Lufti’s accomplishments aren’t as
illustrious as he’s let on. Most recently, he was the assistant to the producer and director of 1998′s Bug Buster, which starred Randy Quaid and should give you some sense of this guy’s place on the Hollywood food chain.
Britney Spears Artist Page
Britney Needs Booty, Drunk Dials K-Fed
Britney Spears’ 26th Birthday Photos
Britney Strips & Shoplifts at Dildo House
We were all excited to enjoy this video of 50 Cent allegedly caught snorting a big ol’ pile of coke on Croatian television. But after giving it a watch, all we learned was that Croatian newscasters look like old anthropology professors and can’t afford wireless mics. Is 50 Cent snorting coke in the video? Maybe. It’s kinda hard to even tell because he appears to be in a blue jacket at first, but then appears in a white t-shirt to talk to Professor Crazy Hair (some bloggers say he took off the coat prior to chatting). And really, couldn’t he also be praying, playing cards, looking at a magazine, dissecting a frog or checking out a treasure map? Hellz yes. His rep also released a statement which said:
?These are the facts:
50 Cent does NOT drink alcohol.
50 Cent does NOT smoke.
50 Cent does NOT do drugs.?
Take a look and make up an answer that you like, because he really could be doing anything. Personally, I think he’s looking at a picture of Britney Spears’ pores through a tiny microscope. Cuz not every celebrity has to have a penchant for drug-induced nosebleeds. [Bossip]
50 Cent Artist Info
50 Cent Backtracks on Retirement Promise
50 Cent Gets Illmatic: “Nas Sucks”
Lindsay Hungry for Hilton?s Ex
LiLo satiates her need for booze and drugs with men – specifically Paris Hilton’s. We like these 12 steps! [NYP]
Dave Chapelle’s Six Hour Stand Up Act
The prolific stand-up broke his own record of doing stand-up for 6 hours and 7 minutes, clocking in at 6 hours and 12 minutes. We hope it was one long joke about walking away from $50 million. [Yahoo]
Posh Spice: ?I?m a gay man!?
Victoria Beckham hates all other celebs who attempt a perfume line but excuses herself, claiming she’s “camp” and “such a gay man.” Which has what to do with her crappy scent? [NYP]
Britney: Lames Excuses in Court
The driving machine used her kids’ safety as an excuse to block court records from social workers. Since when does she have safety in mind anyway? Only when it helps her, apparently. [NYP]
Dennis Quaid Sues Drug Firm Over OD
The actor and his wife are suing a pharmaceutical company over the drug that was accidentally given to their newborn twins in large, toxic doses. [People]
Want to know which classic-loving rocker wrote Madonna‘s sexually charged hit “Justify My Love”? Why was Bruce Springsteen kicked out of community college? The answers to these and other questions are contained within the mystical vaults of Pop-Up Video, available from now on here. You read that right: We’re making the classic VH1 show available online, which will undoubtedly improve your cocktail conversation and decrease your work productivity. Get busy watching!
Madonna Artist Info
Bruce Springsteen Artist Info
Finally – proof that Britney Spears is a HUMAN! The always-wasted singer apparently wanted a little Federlove for her birthday (what, $30,000 in furs wasn’t enough?) and made a call to her ex asking him to join her in celebrating her b-day. She wanted some ex sex! A source revealed that Brit had to use pal Paris’ phone because she couldn’t find her own (too many mojitos, maybe?). A source revealed that, “She begged him to come out with her, [but] Kevin reminded her that one of them needed to be a parent and take care of the boys. Then she hung up on him. Kevin said she was drinking.”
Is the Fed-love really that good? It’s too bad Kevin wasn’t at Brit’s recent video shoot, because maybe that would have motivated her to go. Britney almost bailed on the shoot, and only went – 12 hours late – when she learned that her label was going to give it to another singer on the label. Not wanting to be outdone by eager up and comer, Samantha Jade, Brit got off her ass and schlepped to the vid. Who knew they could repurpose shoots like that? Sounds like Jive isn’t willing to let Britney waste their money anymore. [NYP. Getty]
Britney Spears Artist Info
All Mariah Carey Pics
The world would be a poorer place without Mariah Carey. The R&B princess works tirelessly for our collective amusement (today, for instance, sees the release of The Adventures of Mimi, the starlet’s concert DVD that features a performance from 2006). In 2005, she released The Emancipation of Mimi, the best-selling record of the year, and was named the sixth richest woman in entertainment, according to Forbes magazine, as of last January. The lady’s worth around $225 million, which, unless you’re Bill Gates and/or the Federal Reserve, is nothing to sneeze at. She’s currently at work on her next studio album, due out in the spring. But that’s not why we’ve included her here, today. No, the reason why she’s made our Hottie of the Week list is because she’s totally delectable. And that episode of Cribs, when she was on the StairMaster in lingerie? That’s been burned into our brains. Permanently.
Mariah Carey Artist Info
Schatar & Mariah: Separated at Birth?
Mariah Carey on the Way Things Work
What is Mariah Carey Thinking?
Mariah Carey Smells Like 2005
As 2007 dwindles down, we look back at our favorite tracks. Each Tuesday through the end of the month, we’ll sing the praises of the 20 songs that made our year. See what made the cut, and let us know what you think of our choices.
Eve, “Tambourine,” from Here I Am (GEFFEN)
Never has a bait-and-switch so bruised dance floors around the world. When Eve’s alarm-call “Tambourine” first dropped, Paris hadn’t seen the inside of a jail cell, Dog the Bounty Hunter still had a career, and Lindsay had only been to rehab once. The world was ready for the triumphant return of the Caramel Bombshell, who managed to make hard-spit rhymes seem glam and menacing, like a Swarovski encrusted glock. All the pieces were in place: the Swizz Beatz-produced first single was a masterpiece ? an early ?70s funk sample from the Soul Searchers, the air raid beat, and the classiest lady in hip-hop employing a clever euphemism for dancing. Between reggaeton whoops, Eve demands we get on the dance floor. And that’s what we do. It remains unclear whether Here I Am contains other gems; the troubled disc has been pushed back ’til January.
Rehab mamas like Brit and Linds are always flaunting their sexual sides. Spears lets it all hang out by leaving her thong at home, and with boytoy after boytoy in her wake, “Firecrotch” Lohan is about the hotness, 24-7. So of course it makes sense that the ladies have one key sex item in common: a stripper pole. During the video for “Gimme More,” itself an electro anthem of insatiability and “crazy positions,” the Toxic One is onstage at a bar, sporting black hair, black leather, and black fishnets. Her pouting and writhing comes from experience. In I Know Who Killed Me, the Mean Girl has a scene where she’s hired as a hostess of a “gentlemen’s” club but winds up doing the nasty with radically dark eyes, some tossed-around hair, and a full exposed libido. Exhibitionism is in the house, y’all.
What we want to know: which trainwreck do you think is hotter when working the pole? Check both of the videos and hit the comments section.
Britney Spears Artist Info
Lindsay Lohan Actor Info
Just when we were getting totally turned off by Chris Brown‘s sugary sweetness, a wonderfully delicious scandal has dropped that makes him SO much more appealing! Chris, a singing and dancing machine with a PG – rating, is rumored to have been carrying on a sexual affair with his much older manager, and is reportedly in love with the woman, who was formerly a Senior VP at Def Jam. The romance is now supposedly disrupting Chris’ tour, and his mama, as expected, is PISSED, obvs. Her kid’s been getting busy with an older woman since he was 16, and now the affair is allegedly destroying his tour with Bow Wow – all in the name of Harold & Maude-esque love. Oh Chris, how we suddenly find you so much more appealing now. Kiss Kiss, indeed.
The singer has released a statement denying the whole thing, dropping the usual token phrases when these kind of rumors arise. He says, “Chris Brown and his manager Tina Davis have a strictly professional relationship,” the statement reads. “Ms. Davis has been instrumental in helping Chris achieve success as a multi-talented singer/dancer/actor. Rumors that the relationship goes beyond a working one are not only patently false, they diminish her efforts and his undeniable talents.”
Ya mean, her efforts and his talents in bed?
[SandraRose/SOHH/ Image: Getty]
Chris Brown Artist Info
When New York Met Lil Mama & Chris Brown
Hottie of the Week: Chris Brown