Here comes the bride, blah blah blah blahhhh. Shocker of the century! Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are now husband and wife, and sealed the deal in a backyard ceremony at her parents’ house on Saturday. You think Ash might have learned from her big sister’s early
mistake marriage to Nick Lachey (which ended in divorce) but instead she asked Jess to be her maid of honor. Ash wore Monique Lhuillier, Jess was decked in Vera Wang, and guest Nicole Richie showed up in a stunning a purple gown. Pretty! The guests were asked to wear dark colors to match the theme of the wedding, which was Alice in Wonderland. Ashlee also announced to her guests that she was four months pregnant, to which the 150 people replied, “No sh*t!”
The best part of the wedding weekend was not the nuptials, but that Papa Joe Simpson – who officiated the wedding – begged Tony Romo to attend the wedding as Jessica’s date, even though he allegedly dumped her last week. The good guy footballer escorted his ex, and served as a wonderful reminder that if Ash and Pete’s marriage ends in the D word, things can only get worse. The lesson of the day? Love stinks. But seriously, congrats guys! [US]
Amy Winehouse and Pete Doherty have posted a second video of their tiny day old mice – complete with closeups of their dirty fingernails. One mouse even has a message for Amy’s hubby Blake Incarcerated! Seriously, someone needs to call PETA asap.
Last night, the VH1 blog got a sneak listen to the brand new Usher album, Here I Stand (which, starting Tuesday, you all will be able to listen to a full week before it?s release). With his first release in four years, following a baby, babymama and some serious drama, Usher bounces between the polls of undying fidelity and absolute tom-catting, but all of it is quality stuff. Though he?s been away for a minute, the singer let’s us know that he?s still very much a force in R&B. Here?s a track-by-track breakdown of our impressions.
Um, nothing says TGIF like this video of Amy Winehouse cooing weird words to a newborn mouse while wearing just her bra, natch. Pete Doherty even makes a crazy cameo in the end. You never know what’s gonna happen when you put two British drug addicts together in the same room. Magic could happen, but normally only sad weirdness ensues.? Watch and feel uncomfortable.
It’s baby time at T.I.‘s house! The rapper and his longtime lady love Tameka “Tiny” Cottle have welcomed a new son into the mix. The little guy’s name is Major and he arrive early this morning, clocking in at 7 pounds, 4 ounces and 21 inches long. This is the second child for the couple, who have a son named King together. Seeing as T.I.’s still stuck on house arrest, he should have no problem playing Mr. Mom for a while. If he can’t handle it, surely T.I.P. can!
Heard the rumor about Brit having a bun in the oven? Us too. But we’re not freaking out over a little belly bump, cuz we know our girl can’t be knocked up just yet. Don’t believe us? Check out these five solid reasons and then try to challenge our proof.
5. The Jamie-Lynn Factor
You think Britney would get pregnant when her hotter, younger, more scandalously pregnant sister is about to give birth? Hell no! Brit shares the spotlight with no one, and there’s no way she’d let her possible pregnancy get overshadowed by J-L!
4. Ciggies Aren’t for Mommies
Say what you will about Britney Spears and how big she looks in this pic, but there’s NO WAY she is dumb enough to smoke while pregnant.
We had no idea that Mariah Carey‘ was lugging around a secret boyfriend until early 2008, but perhaps we were just blinded by her butterfly rings and didn’t see him standing next to her. The mystery man is producer Mark Sudack, and he stuck by his emancipated gal pal for close to four years. He even worked on her recent hit album, E=MC2. So guess who was totally shocked by her whirlwind love affair and marriage with Nick Cannon? Yep, you guessed it. “He never thought she would go off and marry someone else,” a Sudack pal revealed to Us. “He?s heartbroken and shocked.”
So are we, Mark Sudack. So are we.
Ashlee and Pete have sent out Evites inviting people to their top secret wedding. Did you check your email yet to see if you got one? Yep, the thing is so hush-hush, they not only invited people by the most traceable way possible, they then begged the tabloids to bid on the right to cover the nuptials. Allegedly they stand to earn a seven-figure sum for allowing the entire world to watch their most precious moment. Barf. Some other deets we learned today about the Simpson/Wentz shotgun wedding: Ash is wearing Vera Wang, no cameras are allowed, Jess is holding the rehearsal dinner at her house AND Ashlee is allegedly super clingy, which her man loves. They truly are a perfect pair. They’d be even more perfect if they’d stop forcing their love down our throats. [NYDN]
Brangelina‘s got twins on board, and you can thank Jack Black for spilling the beans. [DListed]
Pete Doherty and Amy Winehouse kiss, the entire world gags in unison. [Seriously? OMG!]
Jessica Simpson is jealous of Jen Aniston‘s new love with John Mayer. Get a hobby, Jess! [I'm Not Obsessed]
Brody Jenner and Spencer Pratt make peace and drop their beef. [ICYDK]
Lindsay Lohan is macking on Nicole Richie‘s man. What else is new? [IDLYITW]
Lily Allen got all nude in France. We’re more startled by her blond hair. Eek. [CelebSlam]
Ugh. Maybe this is why Carrie Underwood wanted nothing to do with Tony Romo. The football star was reportedly busy mocking Jessica Simpson‘s bedroom skills to all his friends on the same weekend that he was telling everyone the Texas twosome was dunzo. A Windy City spy reported exclusively to The Superficial that, “Tony Romo was in town, and he was bar hopping with some buddies of his from Chicago. He had the nerve to put Jessica on speakerphone and talk about their sex life with all his guys listening and laughing at her. Not only is this girl dumb, but she is completely self conscious about her bedroom skills. After a few too many drinks, he told everyone he and Jessica are over.”
Gross gross gross. Is respecting women that hard for guys these days? As crazy as Tom Cruise is, at least he’s pretty good at treating his wife right (when not dragging her around by the arm).