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by (@katespencer)

Do You Believe This is Britney Spears?

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Have you seen Britney Spears lately? She’s all sorts of messed up – fake blue contacts a blazin’, stains on her 1980′s purple Fashion Bug button down tank-blouse, with some serious bra-less boob action going on underneath. She doesn’t need a stylist, she needs a mom. Considering her current state of nastiness, the above ad for her new perfume – appropriately named Believe – is all that more amazing. This isn’t airbrushing, it’s editorial welding! And seriously, has she ever had hair that looks like organic corn silk? Even when her locks were real, they still had that crispy, “been ruined since her first perm at age 6″ look to them. Also, she’s got some serious finger balancing skills. Look at that perfume bottle go! [DListed]

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by (@katespencer)

Chris Crocker Hates Britney Spears

Are you sick of Chris Crocker yet? Yeah, we are too. But still, this remix of his “Leave Britney Alone” monstrosity is worth watching, if only because his shrieks sound a lot better when they’re making him – and Britney – look like an even bigger loser. Amazingly, this guy now has a TV show in the works. Would you ever watch a half hour of this nonsense? We’d rather be stuck with a Kid Nation marathon than watch this guy’s insanity for 30 seconds. [via Just Jared]

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Snoop + Dre Chasing (Underaged) Girlies

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Lotsa crazy-azz shizzle goes down when musicians are out on tour. Our “Tales From the Road” feature has our Hip-Hop Honors heroes come clean about some dodgey events. Snoop‘s got a good one about him and Dr. Dre trying to get some sexy time with female fans back in the early days of their career. Seems the Doggy’s daddy was involved, too. Guess highjinks are just part of the deal when you’re bouncing ladies around hotel rooms…

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by (@katespencer)

Friday: Nicole Richie Finally Learns Booze is Bad

nicole0928.jpgUsher?s Wife Inspires New Fragrance
The singer’s wife claims to be the inspiration for her man’s new perfume. So it smells mean and bitchy? [NYDN]

Nicole Richie Starts Alcohol Treatment
The pregnant starlet has started her intense, court-ordered alcohol treatment program. Do it for the kid, mom-to-be! [People]

Famous Pals Rally Around Owen
Ben Stiller publicly offers his depressed pal support – and vows to make another lame movie for him to star in when he’s better. [People]

Perfect Angelina Fired From Gig
Clothing line St. John has let Angie go as their model. But we thought she was good at everything? [WWTDD]

Clubbin? Diddy Cops an Attitude
The hip hop star gave a downtown club’s hostess some major lip when she asked how many people were in his party. Doesn’t she know the answer is “Everybody, baby?” Dummy. [NY Post]

by (@katespencer)

Fashion WTF: Lauren’s Dress Disaster

laurenc1.jpgAt last night’s Us Weekly Hot Hollywood 2007 party, all the adorable young stars were out putting their best-dressed foot forward – everyone except Hills darling Lauren Conrad. The starlet – who recently launched her own fashion line – looked less like an expert designer and more like she landed in a pile of candy corn and glitter. It’s not that we’re on Team Heidi or anything, but we definitely bat for Team Have a Little Style.

Check out Lauren’s get-up and ogle at other stars’ outfits below.

[Images: Getty]

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by (@katespencer)

Lindsay Lohan Not Leaving Rehab Yet

lindsayl0927.jpgPhew! The roads are safe! Dina Lohan spoke out about the rumors that her daughter was bailing on Cirque Lodge this weekend, with this simple text message to Access Holywood: ?Not true staying in Utah.? How eloquent! It’s amazing that someone lacking in the creative text message department could spawn a child who coined the term “boog suge.” You read that right, but let me break it down for you in case it’s at all confusing:

Boog Suge = Booger Sugar = Nose Candy = Harmful sugar-like powder that one puts up one’s nose and leaves the user ready to do – and spend thousands – on more! [Note: May cause user to steal car and try to run ex-assistant and her mother off road]

Genius, LiLo! According to Steve-O, that’s what the starlet calls cocaine, and he knows this because she recently (before rehab, obvs) stole his stash from his bathroom. So if there’s any question as to why our friend is hanging out in rehab for a little bit longer, there’s your answer. We can’t wait to hear the adorable slang word Linds is gonna coin for “sobriety!” [NYP. Image: Getty]

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by (@katespencer)

Britney Spears Goes Camera Crazy

In this video, Britney Spears is:

  1. Filming what her chewed-up hands look like on a driving wheel. Scary!
  2. Auditioning paparazzi for Season Two of Britney and Kevin Your Name Here: Chaotic.
  3. Desperate to capture the magic that one lunch of cheesy Mexican food can do to her saggy ass.
  4. Hoping to catch the naive happiness the adorable waitress feels when she realizes she’s serving a a train wreck. Just you wait until Britney demands her fifteenth basket of free chips! Not so happy anymore, eh?
  5. All of the above.

Any guesses?

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by (@katespencer)

Thursday: Tom Cruise’s Stinky Drama

tomcruise.jpgBrangelina Saving the World
The hot couple spent all day meeting with government officials about crises around the globe. But who picked Maddox up from school? [People]

Michael Jackson: Creepier with Age
He hasn’t been photographed in years, and there’s a reason why. We love MJ, but he’s still as weird as ever. And possibly married? [DListed]

Tom Cruise Loses Temper Over a Fart
A crew or cast member on Tommy’s new flick let one rip during a moment of silence led by the actor on set. Now he’s conducting a witch hunt to find the smelly culprit. Whoever smelt it dealt it, right? [Mollygood]

Jennifer Lopez: ?I?m Not Pregnant!?
J.Lo herself is claiming that she’s not knocked up, but we still don’t by it. We’re seeing baby bumps under all those baggy clothes! [Us Weekly]

Halle Berry?s Baby in Danger?
Some lunatic is sending the actress horrible letters threatening her unborn child. If it wasn’t so scary it’d probably make for an Oscar-worthy tale. [A Socialite's Life]

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Ja Rule Backpedals on That Whole Homophobia Thing

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Last we heard from Ja Rule, he was raging against the Viacom machine for “these f***ing shows that they have on MTV that is promoting homosexuality, that my kids can?t watch this s***.” He went on to pronounce gay-friendly dating shows as contributing to the “f***ing up” of America. Did he instill the fear of tolerance in your heart?

After being almost universally lambasted for his homophobia, Ja Rule has answered some of Spinner’s questions regarding his comments. It’s now two weeks after the fact, but whatever. Better late than hateful. Ja proclaims himself a “a very avid speaker for all people’s rights and people having their own preference” and contends that his comments were “taken out of context.” Which: duh. Isn’t everything? Ja continues:

We’re focused on the wrong things — like, our country is at war right now. These things are more of a problem to me. Like another case I just read about — young ladies being raped by six white men. These are the stories that should be popping up on my TV screen. That’s what I was talking about, and somehow it got spun into some other s—.

So why not focus on that via your public platform instead of, you know, MTV programming, Ja? He goes on to report that he’s related to gay people and celebrates Christmas with them, he doesn’t have a problem with gay marriage and he would accept any child of his who ended up coming out to him. Well now he would, publicly, at least. Lesson learned! [Spinner / Image credit: Getty]

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Hottie of the Week: Milla Jovovich

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Milla Jovovich is the $24 million dollar woman, or at least she was on Monday, as her latest Resident Evil sequel raked in big bucks at the box-office. This newest extension of the video-game-cum-silver-screen horror show is about Jovovich?s character Alice and a group of remarkably sculpted survivors of the evil Umbrella Corporation?s T-virus. They fight their way through the desert outside Vegas. Zombies are no match for Jovovich, and apparently neither are aliens, vampires or the fashion industry. She?s been in a slew of critically derided action films, but she?s made her fair share of good ones, too (check Wim Wenders? The Million Dollar Hotel for proof). She has also fronted a band, designed clothes with her friend Carmen Hawk, and been one of the world?s foremost super models. Not bad for a little kid from Kiev, right?

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