There’s nasty viral video entitled “2 Girls, 1 Cup” that made it’s way around the web this week that would burn your eyes and soul if you watched it (it involves poop and people, and this here blogger has avoided it). However one person who hasn’t shied away is NYC rocker – and aspiring comedian – John Mayer. He and pal (and Best Week Ever talking head) Sherrod Small have parodied the grossness, and while it may not be as funny as dating Jessica Simpson, we admire them for taking a stab at it. And now we kinda want some Pinkberry.
In case you’re curious about the original video (it’s seems to have currently disappeared off the web, thank god) – here’s a whole website with reaction shots of people as they watch it. Our fave is below.? The first person to have that cheesebag classical music theme as their ringtone is going to be coolio.
Jennifer Lopez is Pregnant ? Surprised?
The worst kept secret in the world is out after J.Lo confirms her pregnancy at her Miami show. She can finally get back to wearing regular ol’ sexy clothes now. Phew! [Us]
Lindsay?s Crashed Mercedes for Sale
Feel like blowing over $100,000 on a cokehead’s car? Bid on Lindsay’s wrecked ride – it’s up on Ebay (she must really need some cash). [NYP]
Rosie?s Rumored Show Gets Canned
But never fear, she’s blogged all about it on her site! Guess it wasn’t meant 2b. [Us]
Ashley and Lance?s Sleepover
They keep hooking up and we keep getting more grossed out. Friend are claiming Lance might be having a midlife crisis – but really he just likes young tail. [Us]
Tom Gushes Over Katie – Again
Tom: “Katie’s an inspiration!” Katie: “Tom is all things love and light!” Suri: “Someone pay attention to me!” [People]
In a strange but sweet turn of events, Britney’s album is not number one on this week’s Billboard charts! The lazy pop star has been beaten by – of all people – soft rocking geezers The Eagles. THE EAGLES! Oh man, karma is sweet and comes in the shape of a bunch of old, graying dudes. They were able to sneak in and whup Brit’s ass after Billboard revised “a policy which considers album sales even when they’re only sold exclusively by one retailer. In this case, Wal-Mart, which had exclusive rights to sell the Eagles disc in its stores and on its Web site, agreed to release its sales numbers.” The guys beat Britney hard – selling 711,000 units compared to her 290,000 – which came in way below the predicted estimate of 330,000-350,000. Maybe it’s time to get out there and start promoting, B!
Brit might want to start saving what money she’s got left, as she’s been ordered to pay her ex-hubby’s legal fees in their custody battle – all $120,000 of them. Legal papers reveal that Kevin Federline is “self-employed as a performing artist” and that “he does not earn any income.” Ha ha ha! Maybe Brit could get Don Henley to help out? He’s surely rolling in dough from all those albums he sold this week! [Image: Getty]
Chris Brown Pics
Chris Brown is not just one of the many multi-talented, teenage triple threats taking Hollywood by storm with their dancing, singing and acting skills. He’s perhaps the most talented of all — the epitome of superstar — and with an adorable smile to boot. With a hit album under his belt that’s already sold 3 million copies worldwide and his sophomore record dropping this week, Chris has got a lot to be smiling about. But if listening to his No. 1 tracks isn’t enough, fans can always catch Chris in the new movie This Christmas, which comes out in a few weeks. It’s one thing to be crazy successful, but to do it all by the time you turn 18 — that’s just straight up hot.
Chris Brown Artist Page
Meet Diana Campanella, a 54-year-old artist based in Scottsdale, Arizona (according to her MySpace), who’s taken up a new hobby: posting videos of herself dancing to hi-NRG disco, freestyle and house music (among genres) on YouTube. She has the taste of a Jersey girl (Expos?, Shannon, Yaz and Madonna are all in her arsenal), the appearance of a hippie and the interpretive (if not absurdist) sense of motion of Kate Bush. She is, in a word, amazing. And also, she’s prolific: since joining YouTube in May, she’s posted 174 videos of herself shimmying, lip-synching and generally having a swell as she (awwwwww!) freaks out to the music.
So why isn’t hasn’t she achieved the level of fame that so many less-deserving flashes-in-the-online-pan have? Part of the problem is that she’s disabled the option to embed her videos on sites: to see her, you have to hit YouTube (here’s her profile as artemisbell and here’s a link to one of the highlights in her repertoire: her sweaty response to New Order’s “Blue Monday”). For word to get out on her, her links have to be passed around the old-fashioned way. Verdict’s still out if there’s a major place for her in our current world of in-line players. But if she’s not on our web pages, she’s at least forever embedded in our hearts.
The best-dressed baby in show biz took the stage last night with Gwen Stefani. At the final stop on her seemingly never-ending tour, Stefani trotted out her 17-month-old son Kingston to show him what she does every evening. Informing the crowd that he’s been on 35 flights (math majors, that’s slightly over two a month and more than I’ve been on in my life), she then unsuccessfully tried to get him to bid the audience “night-night.”
In other Future Spoiled Children news, J. Lo has canceled the final show of her joint tour with hubby Marc Anthony, slated for San Diego this weekend. Jenny With the Bump has yet to confirm her pregnancy.
Christina’s Planning for Baby Boy
…Or so the paparazzi thinks, as she was spotted shopping for lil’ boy clothes. Maybe she just wanted some super tight skinny jeans? [x17]
Is Lindsay?s Boyfriend Bashing Her Mom?
Rehabbed Riley claims someone is impersonating him on MySpace and hasn’t said a peep about Dina. Too bad – Fake Riley seems pretty damn smart. [E Online]
Diddy?s Fight Charges Get Dumped
The rapper will not faces charges for getting in a fight with a pal outside of an NYC nightclub this fall. He should punish himself by walking to Brooklyn to get us some cheesecake. Please? [NYDN]
Rosie?s Ready to Get Back on TV
Ro’s dropping hints that she wants back on your tube. Will she be better behaved when she’s Hasselbeck-free? [People]
Mandy Moore Caught Kissing Friends Star
Oh sure – Mandy Moore and Matthew Perry make complete sense as a couple. He’s like Zach Braff with wrinkles and a crappier career. [NYP]
We can’t get enough of these gems from an interview with Rachel Ritfield, the woman who was to be Akon‘s fourth wife. Sadly, when push came to shove, the model just couldn’t force herself to walk down the aisle with the polygamous rapper. Rachel said, “I want a man who thinks that I’m God’s gift to creation and I can think the same of him.” Well then what was she doing with Akon in the first place? Isn’t he a notorious man ho? Apparently dry-humping underage fans can really turn a woman on. Rachel was not freaked out by the whole plural marriage thing at first, claiming “Akon was honest with me about his mutiple wives from the start, which never got in the way of our relationship because his wives live in various parts of the world, so I thought why fix it if it’s not broken?”
Fix what? Our culture’s attitude toward men who marry multiple women? Akon’s screwy relationships? Sadly, Rachel didn’t get the hint until Akon had kid number five with one of his wifeys. Rachel finally realized that Akon was still boning other chicks even though he acted like she was the only piece of ass in his life, and she bailed. “The one thing I wanted from Akon was for him to be monogamous to me but he could not grant me my wish,” she lamented.
Hang in there girl! There are plenty of other creepy-ass rich dudes just yearning for a hot model like yourself. You’ll get your wish! [Image: Rachel's MySpace]
By Guest Blogger Britney J. Spears
Take that, ya’ll! All you people said that just because I have stains on my shirt and eat Taco Bell for every meal and wear the same boots every day that my career was over, but guess what, it ain’t! Ha! My new album is at the top of the charts this week because I am sexy and awesome. I’ve sold 325,000 copies so far. That’s like, a big city of people! That’s probably as many people as in New York, or Disney World, or China! I am awesome! So awesome that I can park in handicapped parking, ya’ll! And it’s not because my acne counts as a handicap (even thought it should), it’s because I park where I feel like, and I don’t care I’m screwing someone who can’t walk out of a parking spot. I’m Britney, you handicapped b*tches!
Next time ya’ll feel like dissin’ me, just remember who is selling a butt load of albums without doing any promotional work for it whatsoever. No tour, no photoshoots, no nothing! I’ll I gotta do is hawk some perform and mess up my kids and you people fawn all over me freaking out. The joke is on you! Oh – that would make a really good album name. I gotta write that in my dream journal. Now if you’ll excuse me, my Hot Pockets are ready and I think I hear my dog barking. Oh – that’s Sean Preston. Oops.
Only a handful of performers exist in the hallowed first-name-only hall of fame, but Colombian bombshell Shakira proves her status in this exclusive clip from her upcoming Oral Fixation Tour DVD, out on November 13th. Find out which beloved hit Shakira powerfully performs. Get your lighters out!