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by (@katespencer)

Britney’s Kids Have Rotting Teeth

britney082807.jpgGood News: Britney got new, pretty blond extensions!

Bad News: The latest outlook on the Brit-cast is dark and stormy, ya’ll. A friend of the starlet’s got in a car accident trying to flee K-Fed’s cronies who showed up at his house to serve him with a subpoena. Her former manager, Larry Rudolph, is currently hiding out somewhere to avoid the same fate. His pal Ryan Seacrest said, “He’s actually on the run, if you will…he doesn’t want to say where he is and he doesn’t want to be served because he said it won’t be good for Britney.”

Brit’s also being investigated by the Department of Children and Family Services due to “allegations of poor dental hygiene, as well as poor eating and sleeping habits for her kids.” Apparently it may even be K-Fed who filed the complaint! There are two lessons to be learned here. Don’t marry a tool-ish backup dancer at twenty-three years old. Also, brush your kids teeth.

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by (@katespencer)

Tuesday: Ashanti Packin’ the Pounds; Jessica Simpson Will Sing Anywhere

ashanti082807.jpgBritney?s No Dog Beater
The pop star has been cleared of charges that she was responsible for breaking her dog’s tiny leg. Now…what about those kids and their rotting teeth? [Us Weekly]

Ashanti: Overweight and in Hiding
Apparently the singer has gained so much weight she refused to be photographed at an event in San Diego. Check her out looking svelte (right) in June 2007 – she must have done some serious eating since then. [NY Post]

Cameron?s Got Another New Man
I think I know who’s bringing sexy back, and it ain’t Justin. His ex-girlfriend is getting it on all over NYC, and this week she’s linked to Alias star Bradley Cooper. Put your back into it, Cam! [E Online]

Jessica Simpson?s New Singing Gig
The Texan recently burst into song at a Louisiana restaurant, performing an impromptu mini-concert. Apparently, she will work for food. [A Socialite's Life]

Fight with Pal Turned Owen Suicidal
Actor Owen Wilson’s rumored suicide attempt was apparently spurred on by a big battle with a close friend. Let’s hope he’s getting some help - and cutting some peeps out if his life. [NY Post]

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The Rock Life Recap, Episode 5

Tony Potato
Tony Potato, the ?fat guy who dances on a box,? according to Cisco, loses his job. The real job, that is. Apparently Tony?s commitment to the band was overshadowing his ability to practice law. It?s actually something of a blessing though, as now Tony feels he can dedicate himself more fully to the band. This statement is followed by severeal images from Tony?s day, which include (but are not limited to) Tony cooking, golfing, and chasing a ball around the pool. Read more…

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Boys to Men – Mission: Manband Episode 4 Recap

Mission: Man Band
Last night’s Man Band was a cruel exercise in humiliation. When Miss Kate forced the guys to perform at the Orlando Magic half-time show against their will, that was one thing. Everyone was expecting to be booed. And booed they were. But when Miss Kate pointlessly, antagonistically made them listen to radio jocks tear their performance to shreds the following morning, that was something else. And when she made them watch a tape of the show, that was the camel that broke the straw’s back. Read more…

by (@katespencer)

DMX Accused of Abusing Pit Bulls

dmx.jpgCould animal abuse be the new DUI for celebs? It’s completely horrible and wrong, yet more people seem to be doing it. DMX is the latest star to possibly get nailed for mistreating pit bulls, after 12 pups were removed from his Arizona home in poor condition. Police also removed a large number of weapons from his crib, and a search of his backyard turned up the charred remains of at least one dog.

The rapper’s attorney defended DMX, stating that “He loves and lives for his animals.” But this is not the first time her client’s name has been associated with abusing dogs. In 2002 the Ruff Ryder pleaded guilty to charges of animal cruelty after a 1998 raid of his house turned up thirteen neglected pit bulls. Seeing as this case comes on the same day as football star Michael Vick’s guilty plea in the dogfighting case against him, it kinda makes you wonder – when did hurting animals become the cool thing for these stars to do? [VH1 News. Image: Getty]

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by (@katespencer)

Is Britney Spears Beatin’ Her Babies?

britney082707-copy.jpgSomeone hide the clipping shears cuz we smell a meltdown about to happen. Apparently Britney is being investigated for – duh duh duhhhhh – possible child abuse. We know she’s not the most perfect mom, but is feeding your kids soda and Cheetos illegal? A custody hearing about the kids was held this morning between Britney and Kevin’s lawyers, as well as a lawyer for the Los Angeles County counsel. TMZ also reports that, “We do not know the specifics of the allegations but we’re told the L.A. County Department of Children and Family Services is conducting an active investigation.”

Oh man. No wonder poor Brit wants to haul her ass to London. Though these pics of Britney smoking around her kids sure ain’t helping her win any Mom of the Year Awards. [TMZ. Image: Getty]

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Rock on TV – The Shortlist

lohan.jpgJonesing for music on your television set? Don?t know what to watch? Love to see your favorite musicians tied up in absurd plots? Well, then, you?ve come to the right place, rockers! Check out our shortlist below. For more extensive listings, read VH1?s Rock on TV schedule daily.

A Prairie Home Companion, Monday, 9:30 AM (EST), HBOZ: We know, we know. You haven’t gotten quite enough of Lindsay Lohan lately, what with her recent trip to rehab. A thoroughly peroxided Lohan plays the suicide-obsessed daughter of Meryl Streep in the cinematic dramatization of the beloved NPR radio show.

The Gilmore Girls, “Girls In Bikinis, Boys Doin’ the Twist” Monday, 5PM (EST), FAM: Looked to as the death knell of indie culture, this was the moment the Shins came out of their (possibly scoliosis afflicted) shell and rocked this WB original series’ spring break episode. The performance by beloved, bespectacled indie outfit was more revolutionary than the Flaming Lips playing the Peach Pit on 90210. See also: Garden State.

by (@katespencer)

Monday: Paris Chops Her Hair Off; Britney Speeds and Pleads with Cops

paris_082707.jpgBrangelina: The Perfect Big Apple Family
The perfect Pitt-Jolie posse have taken NYC and the city’s parks and playgrounds by storm. They win “the coolest tourists” award for this week. [Just Jared]

Paris Lets Her Short Hair Hang
The heiress has chopped off her extensions and was spotted debuting her new Katie Holmes-like bob at her latest house party, where Kid Rock was a guest. Let’s hope she at least donated her unwanted locks. [DListed]

Is Madonna?s New Track a Rip-Off?
Madge’s new track supposedly sounds a lot like Britney’s “I’m a Slave 4 U,” which would make Madonna the only person in America still trying to copy the lost pop princess. [NY Post]

Winehouse: Caught with Crack Pipe?
Amy was apparently spotted getting high with a crack pipe in hand in the bathroom at the Chicago Lollapalooza show. Just her regular ol’ pre-show ritual, it seems. [NY Daily News]

Britney Pulled Over for Speeding
The starlet got a scolding by cops for speeding but got off without a ticket after using the old “the paparazzi were chasing me” excuse. It’s good to know that crazy celebs still get star treatment. [DListed]

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Sacrificing L.A.M.B.

gwen_live_7.jpg

Gwen Stefani played the mainly Muslim (and therefore immensely conservative) country of Malaysia on Tuesday, and her performance was a little less naked than usual. Literally. Protests from conservative Muslims meant Gwen had to cover up and ditch the skimpy threads that she normally dons on stage. This is just one in a series of incidents in which the potential indecency of Western artists has clashed with the purportedly chaste ideals of Malaysia.

But if you think that the idea that Gwen Stefani’s cleavage could corrupt Malaysian youths is ridiculous, check out her response to the opposition, as reportedly related to Malaysia’s Galaxie magazine before the show:

I’ve made a lot of changes to my concert just for Malaysia. It’s a major sacrifice that I have made as an artist. But I’m willing to do it because I want my fans in this country to see me perform here.

It should be noted that Gwen’s whining about sacrifice in a country whose per capita income is about 3.5 times less than that of the United States. Gwen Stefani seriously knows nothing about sacrifice. Yeah, it sucks to have to bow to the stifling ideals of others, but covering up your naked arm by wearing entitlement on your sleeve isn’t going to net you much sympathy. At least not in these parts.

Below, check out some shots of Gwen performing in the U.S. and, presumably, not sacrificing.

[GMANews.TV / Images: Getty]

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by (@katespencer)

The Weekly Wrap Up: Lindsay’s Lucky, Hayden’s Hot, Flav is Back in Business

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