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by (@katespencer)

Wednesday: Justin and Jessica Moving In Together; Brangelina’s Baby Shopping

jt081507.jpgJustin and Jessica Playing House?
The cute couple are supposedly ready to take the plunge and share a house. Get ready for baby bump watch to start in a week or two! [Life and Style]

Lindsay Sued by Car Chase Victim
A passenger in the car Linds chased last month is suing the actress. Funny how she starred in a movie about some girl with no luck, and now she has none. Karma’s a bitch to bitches! [TMZ]

Paris Parties for a Price
The heiress and her little sis are apparently shopping around their services as party hosts to Las Vegas clubs, for a price of $500,000. We didn’t realize Paris’ wallet counted as a charity. [NY Post]

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Lohan’s Ta-Tas: “A Really Big Hit”

Lindsay Lohan

When in doubt, go with the sexy photo spread, right? Maxim is about to drop a new issue that features some kootchie-koo shots of Lindsay “The Black Kid Was Driving” Lohan. Somewhere in between taking the pictures, the mag’s journalists found time to get some quotes, and yes, the juiciest of ‘em is now out there making the rounds on the InterWeb.

Which part of your body garners the most attention?
My breasts have been a really big hit?

We’re wondering if that’s a leftover quote from some old Jessica Simpson chat, but I guess we’ll find out what comes after the ellipses when the mag streets next Tuesday.

One thing’s certain. Old Firecrotch looks better in that white thingee than she did on her darkest day.

Think there’s any chance Lohan will still be looking sexy after her stint in dry-out camp?

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by (@katespencer)

Papa K-Fed: Custody Battle Smack Down

britney_spears.jpgAfter serving Brit’s “cousin” Alli Sims with legal papers over the weekend, K-Fed and his team of lawyers pounced on another victim, serving her manny/boyfriend/security guard Daimon Shippen with two subpoenas yesterday to testify in the couple’s latest custody hearing. Apparently Shippen “was completely surprised to be served. He was dumbfounded and in a state of shock.” What we’re most shocked about is that K-Fed can actually afford lawyers. How many copies of Playing With Fire did he sell? Five?

One of Brit’s pals is defending the singer and going after Kevin, arguing that the back up dancer really wants Britney’s other baby – her money. A source close to the star told X17, “…his dispute now is clearly for financial gain. Britney isn’t hiding anything. And why didn’t he fight for full custody of his kids with Shar Jackson if he loves his kids so much?”

Good point mystery source! Now if only you could tell us why Britney let Jayden wear one of her hats out to dinner last night. [Getty]

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by (@katespencer)

Winehouse Hits Rehab, Will She Change Song Lyrics?

amyblake081407.jpgA bunch of British rags are reporting this morning that Amy Winehouse has indeed entered rehab, apparently flying across the Atlantic to hit up one of America’s fine treatment facilities. Amy’s husband Blake is also along for the ride, as they’re attempting rehab together (really bad idea?). The singer was allegedly caught by her best friend on Friday night smoking heroin in the hotel room where she was supposed to be recuperating from her previous drug overdose. Her family flipped out and Amy finally changed her tune on the whole rehab thing.

Before the couple jetted away for treatment, they stripped off their clothes to prove to their parents that while they had been smoking heroin, they had not injected the drug. Was that news supposed to make their families jump for joy? It’s not like smoking the stuff and putting coke (and horse tranquilizers!) up your nose is that much better. But really, kudos to the dysfunctional couple for getting their collective s**t together. [The Mirror, The Daily Mail. Image: Getty]

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by (@katespencer)

Tuesday: Paris Pulls a Fast One; Britney’s Headed Back to the Stage

paris081407.jpgIs Paris Faking Good Behavior?
Though she seems to be on her best behavior – cuddling with babies, wearing full-piece bathing suits and ignoring her pals the paparazzi – a source alleges that it’s all an act. [NY Post]

Nicole’s Got a New Hot Body
After years of looking painfully thin, Nicole’s body finally gets hot – and it’s all thanks to that baby bump. We like this kid already. [TMZ]

Lindsay Cleaning Toilets in Rehab
The starlet’s daily schedule at posh rehab joint Cirque Lodge includes cleaning duties as well as gardening, hiking and spa treatments. So when do they address the actual addiction? [Us Weekly]
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The Rock Life Recap: Episode 3

Rainbow Jeramy

The boys hit the road, with the express purpose of geting Tony Potato laid. Which shouldn’t be a problem, given that Whitestarr has “girls galore.” Post-show, Cisco describes Mr. Potato as “a dancer, a lawyer, an overall renaissance man, but he cannot follow through on anything.” A heart-to-heart ensues after a crestfallen Tony leaves the backstage area to take a leak, and Cisco follows him into the bathroom. Apparently Tony’s trouble isn’t the fact that he’s overweight, balding and in a struggling band (what girl wouldn’t want that!?!), but that he has no follow through.

The band embark on a tour, playing 28 shows in 30 days to bring the music to the people. Cisco doesn’t seem to think of what he does as “touring and playing music” so much as pirating: “taking what we need and leaving some scurvy…new town every night, new girl every night.” This proves more difficult for Tony. In one particularly painful scene, Tony has one unsuspecting female in a half nelson, and as she cackles on his lap she says, “I don’t do dancers. I only do rock stars.” Wrong bus, sister.

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Biggie Smalls Casting Call

biggie_515_banner.jpg

This crossed our desks. We thought some of you might be interested. It seems Fox Searchlight is casting for the role of Biggie Smalls in their upcoming film Notorious. Think you’ve got what it takes? Well, unless you’ve got an endless supply of Cohibas, a yacht and the voice of angel, we doubt it. But go here to apply now anyhow. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

See the full ad after the jump …

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Van Halen Tour: Go Ahead and Jump

Van Halen Reunion Tour

Gas, brake, gas, brake, gas. After hitting some snags in the late spring, the principals of a little band known as Van Halen have finally figured out a time when they can all be together on stage. Their keenly anticipated tour has officially been announced, and the guys, David Lee Roth, Eddie Van Halen, Alex Van Halen and Eddie’s son Wolfgang Van Halen (filling in for uninvited original bassist Michael Anthony), will be bouncing around the country starting in September. “Hello, CLEVELAND!”

Check out the list of dates after the jump. But, actually, maybe you should get reacquainted with the dudes beforehand. Videos are right this way. And if you feel like taking a quiz on old Diamond Dave, have a go at it.

Read more…

by (@katespencer)

Amy Winehouse Admits to Drug Overdose

Amy WinehouseIt sounds like Amy Winehouse‘s drug use has finally scared even herself. It’s about time – the rest of us were freaked out months ago. The singer recently opened up to News of the World, a UK tabloid, about her recent overdose after ingesting and smoking a massive drug cocktail:

“It was just crazy?one of the most terrifying moments of my life. I don’t know how to explain what happened. I don’t really know myself. I can’t remember what I looked like. I couldn’t recognise myself. It was terrifying?I was terrified. I was so out of control. It just happened. It shocked me. I’m sorry?I just don’t know what got into me. I never want to feel that way again. I’ve scared myself this time. I was all over the place. I know things have got to change. I have to sort myself out. I’m fine. I’ll be back at work on Monday. I’m fine, honest.”

Except that she’s not going to be back at work for a while, as she just canceled a bunch of gigs opening for the Rolling Stones in Germany. But not to worry, “fine” is the word we always use to describe people who slip into comas after going on a bender of booze, heroin, cocaine, ecstasy and ketamine, so that’s a relief! Amy Winehouse is going to be a-okay. [Image: Getty]

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by (@katespencer)

K-Fed’s Private Dick Serves Brit Papers

britkevin081307.jpgWho knew that behind the cigarettes and socks n’ flip flops, there lurked a caring, protective dad? Kevin Federline is emerging as the father of the year, turning his custody battle for Sean and Jayden into an all out brawl. After filing for full custody last week, he sent “security expert” Aaron Cohen to a late-night party in the Hollywood Hills where he served Britney’s assistant/cousin Alli Simms with a deposition subpoena. The legal doc gives K-Fed’s lawyer the ability to drill Simms in court on Brit’s shoddy parenting skills and questionable lifestyle (and hopefully also on why the starlet wore this deodorant-stained outfit). Alli apparently argued with Cohen before trying to flee in a car, but Cohen succeeded in his mission by shoving the documents through the window as Alli drove away.

Hopefully the lawyer will ask Alli what the hell Brit was thinking by marrying K-Fed and popping his two kids out. That seems like a way worse decision than putting soda in her babies’ bottles, though I guess the two kind of go hand in hand.

Check out video and pics of the drama HERE! [Us Weekly, NY Daily News. Image: Getty]

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