Stopped on the red carpet for Sunday night’s Roast of Flavor Flav on Comedy Central, professional wiseacre and rat-voice star Patton Oswalt wondered what would happen if the Catholic church got all hooked-up in a reality show.
Our coverage of the event gave you a taste of what to expect, but if your life is built around curse-riddled zingers, you’ll want to spend a few seconds with the show’s trailer. Hey, Brigitte Nielsen’s not really a man, is she?
Flav Roast Photos
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Flav?s Roast a Visual Feast
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A hearty congratulations goes to Antoria Gillon. The 20-year-old hairstylist was nine-months pregnant while auditioning for the upcoming season of American Idol. Well, she’s not pregnant anymore! Gillon went into contractions while waiting her turn on line. The labor pains continued as she performed for the judges. She said: ?I gave it my all through the contractions. They were back to back and getting harder and harder but I was more than willing to have my baby right there. I wasn?t leaving without my golden ticket to the next round.? As if that weren’t nutty enough, Gillon proved herself to be a genius by naming her son Jamil Labarron Idol McCowan. Two thoughts: First, if this keeps up, Gillon’s going to give Dina Lohan a run for worst mother of the year; second, Rupert Murdoch, the Australian mogul who controls Fox, American Idol’s parent company, has just found himself a new marketing and PR exec. You’d hire her, wouldn’t you? Thanks, Fox! You’ve made our lives better. Again. [Image via Dlisted]
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Antonella & the Idols: Secrets Revealed
Lindsay Lohan‘s former bodyguard, Tony Almeida, who worked for the starlet from 2002-2005, has come forward to rat out her parents for being totally crappy at their job. This is hardly news, as even tiny babies know that Michael’s a loon and Dina’s one of those enabling, “I wanna be BFFs with my kids,” kind of ladies. But Tony gives us even more disastrous deets about the Lohans, like the time Michael got so violent while driving on the highway he pulled their car over and slammed Lindsay against the hood, screaming at her and calling her a slut. Nice.
Dina didn’t help the situation, apparently letting her daughter booze at parties and have sleepovers with her then-boyfriend Aaron Carter at fifteen. Letting her daughter go near that scrawny thing was her first mistake right there! Tony also claims he once found Lindsay snorting “powder” in a closet, and says she cut herself repeatedly and threatened suicide, desperate for attention. Sounds like she’s gonna need a lot more help than a third stint in rehab. Just do a Drew Barrymore and get rid of ‘em all Linds! Even if your ex-security guy is lying, your fam did let you make that stripper-murder movie, and that alone is grounds for dismissal. [NY Post. Image: Getty]
P*ssed Off Moms: Hollywood?s Hottest Accessory
Rob Schneider vs. Dina Lohan
Lindsay & Dina Lohan Photos
50 Cent is just like us, at least in one respect: he can’t pronounce the name of Pussycat Dolls‘ Nicole Scherzinger, either. Even though they got together for a track for Fiddy’s upcoming Curtis disc, the rapper couldn’t get down with her name. He recently told Blender:
“They should’ve changed her name. Her name is Schizinger or some s***, right? That’s a f***ed up name…I’d give her like a stripper name. Maybe ‘Pleasure’ or some s***. ‘Nicole Natalie.’“
Fiddy has the right idea: down with Schizinger! If old Schizzy isn’t feeling “Pleasure” or “Nicole Natalie,” here are a few other suggestions she should seriously consider. They’re all better than “Scherzigner,” but then again, the sound of a vacuum cleaner is better than “Scherzinger.” Anyway, our list:
- The One Who Sings
- The One Who Stands in Front
- Eva Non-Goria
- Fueled by Iovine
[Blender Blog / Image credit: Getty]
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Blog Best-Of: Fiddy?s Fight
Fiddy: Lil? Kim is Dude-ish
Fiddy Takes Another Shot at Oprah
Tay Zonday, the wide-eyed YouTubian genius(?) behind the summer’s biggest hit, “Chocolate Rain,” performed the song live on Jimmy Kimmel last night. He jams it out like crazy on the keyboard and seems to have perfected his mic/breathing movements. And yes, he even talks like he sings. Fan-tay-stic!
“Chocolate Rain” and Tay Zonday are having the Best Week Ever!
Even though their divorce was just settled and custody split 50-50 between Britney and Kevin, the former backup dancer filed papers yesterday for primary custody of the couple’s two sons. A source revealed that Federline has been worried that Brit’s wacky behavior exposes the babies to “unnecessary risk.” Okay, technically a topless pool makeout sesh doesn’t directly harm their kids, but we see K-Fed’s point. Britney’s kinda lost it, and she’s got the weave to prove it. Spears has not released a statement regarding her ex’s move, but she’d probably say something like, “Huh? Wah? I’m freaking out! No, not because of Kevin trying to get all custodian, but because I can’t find my Marlboro Lights. Seriously though ya’ll , I’m a good mom and a brainiac – that’s gotta count for something!” [People. Image: Getty]
Britney?s Naked Hot Tub Makeout Session
Britney?s Parenting Bashed by Mags
Brit and K-Fed: Snoopin? on Each Other
K-Fed?s Ex Not Preggers, Offers Pregnancy Test as Proof
Check out this clip of your favorite troubled starlet giving her thoughts on “good accessories for fall.” Funny how she left out alcohol ankle bracelets and pocket-sized cocaine containers.
[A Socialite's Life]
Browse All Lindsay Lohan Photos
Celebrity Bad Girls
Apparently all that time Diddy was out macking ladies and hanging with J. Lo and her Versace dress, he had an on-again off-again girlfriend waiting in the wings. But now they’re apparently off for good, and Kim Porter‘s run to OK! Magazine to dish and diss Diddy. Oh, if only we regular ladies had a sweet, glossy outlet in which to rag on our exes but alas, we’re not all models with three kids fathered by a hip hop legend. Some of Kim’s choice quotes include this one on Combs’ wandering eyes – and hands and lips:
“I will never sit here and say that Puffy — or any man — is 100 percent faithful. I just don’t believe it. Some of you are, but I’m not going to sit here and say that I didn’t believe that he cheated on me. I would never say that. I’m aware that he’s cheated.”