Well, it was bound to happen. Unless Britney joins the army and goes to Iraq or runs for president, Amy has officially become the biggest celebrity mess of the year, with only thirteen days left in 2007. News is still breaking, but apparently the singer was arrested a couple hours ago in London for “perverting the course of justice.” This is the same charge brought up against her husband Blake, after he allegedly tried to bribe the witness in an assault case being brought against him with $400,000. Seeing as he’s like, a production assistant or something, it seems like Amy may be connected to that money somehow. Well, at least she can be close to her true love. She apparently is all ready to kill herself to if she can’t be with the guy, so I guess it all works out in the end. What a happy – albeit f*cked up – ending!
Well this is…weird. High School Musical‘s angel-eyed star Zac Efron is supposedly working with Lil Wayne on a remixed song for the new High School Musical 2: Non-Stop Dance Party album, and the unlikely duo are like totally, platonically in love! Weezy’s reason for the pairing? He says, ?I?m trying to reach those suburban white kids like Kanye did.?
So he’s now boys with the token suburban white kid Zac, who originally met Lil Wayne in the bathroom of a comic book convention after party. Seriously. Wayne describes their introduction: “To get away from these girls that was chasing him, he ducked into the bathroom and I followed him in there. I was like, ?What?s crackin?, my brother from another mother??? So now they’re making music together at Wayne’s home, and on the day one reporter caught the two working, Efron allegedly greeted Weezy with a ?What?s up, my nigga?? and a kiss on the lips. Yes, SERIOUSLY. After playing a few songs, Wanye was asked if he ever feels overwhelmed by all his projects, to which he replied, “Hell, no! This is how I live! I get up in the morning, get my dick sucked four times, drink a Molson?s, and then hang out with Zac.”
As 2007 dwindles down, we?re taking a look back at our favorite tracks. Each Tuesday through the end of the month, we?ll sing the praises of the 20 songs that made our year. See what made the cut, and let us know what you think of our choices. Check out the last two posts to see what else is on our list.
Avril Lavigne, ?Girlfriend,? from The Best Damn Thing (RCA)
Take the infectious cheer-squad shout of Toni Basil‘s “Mickey,” add some glean from chart-topping uber-producer Dr. Luke, and write lyrics directed at the most tech-savvy market in the country (14-year-old girls) and you?ll understand why Avril Lavigne‘s “Girlfriend” was her highest ranking single to date. Avril?s fans forgave her her newly wedded status and bought her barbed entreaties to an already attached guy to ditch his girlfriend (never has ?She?s like, so whatever,? sounded like such a compelling argument). During the verse she rarely deviates into tune, sticking with her bratty schoolyard chants and marrying mall punk guitars with positively jubilant pop. All handclaps and sass, the video has Avril pulling triple-duty, playing her blonde self, a boyfriend-stealing brunette and a red-headed prude. While the message of the song is far from female empowerment, it seems she?s finally embraced a less abrasive side, making the unabashed pop music she?s faulted others for in the past.
Soulja Boy, ?Crank That,? from Souljaboytellem.com (INTERSCOPE)
Ya gots ta be multi-format these days, and there was no better example of video aiding and abetting audio than this ATL kiddo?s uber-ubiquitous, ultra-catchy dance anthem. His MySpace page was thick with how-to clips (please, don?t mess up the Superman section) and messages from trillions of fans. YouTube was loaded with tributes and satires, from yarmulke doo-rags to Santa?s elves gliding to the groove. So, yeah, DeAndre Ramone Way wasn?t fibbing when he said his reach stretched ?from the Internet to Main Street.? There?s glory in one-hit-wonderville, and even though one Web commenter rightly declared that Soulja Boy blabbered ?on the mic like he just woke up,? the song of the summer (sorry, Rihanna) proved to be a bubblecrunk gem.
Some gossip stories are too big to forget. We?re counting down the 20 biggest, baddest, and most ridiculous celeb scandals of the year. You?ll get a new one posted every day.
Be honest – you loved it when Paris Hilton went to jail for driving on a suspended license, and you loved it even more when she was released early and then dragged back in a fit of tears. Those three Paris-free weeks were a short and sweet glimpse into what life was like before Hilton burst onto the scene flashing her vag, and damn do we miss 2002. When it was all said and done, Paris left Lynwood and headed straight to Larry King, professing herself a changed woman who loved reading the bible behind bars. She called jail “traumatic”and “scary” and even read some of her behind-bars journal entries. She wrote, “They say when you reach a crossroad or a turning point in life, it really doesn’t matter how we got there, but it’s what we do next after we got there.”
Since her stint in jail, Paris has been doing what does does best – helping others by partying in slinky outfits, dancing around, and pimping crappy products with her name on them. As she said, it’s “a new beginning” – of the same old sh*t.
You were there through the bad driving, the head-shaving, and the Criss Angel thing. It?s been a tough year for our girl. No one could have imagined a mere 12 months ago that she?d create such glorious new nonsense every week. Some of the craziness escapes you? Come back every day: We?re counting down the events that made up the Year in Britney.
June 12 - Butts n’ Boobs Galore – Britney probably tried to excuse this slutty outfit malfunction with some sort of “I’m young and single ya’ll!” excuse, but we don’t buy it. The singer donned a slinky green dress out on the town, and originally wore it backwards until some kind Samaritan clued her in. It still didn’t stop her nipple from popping out over the course of the night, and there was no excuse for her to flash her ass at the world. But really, she was just breaking us in for a long line of disastrous outfit choices. Thanks B! [Socialite's Life]
June 13 – Name That Tune - Britney implored her fans on her website to pick a name for her upcoming album. Their options?
1) Omg is Like Lindsay Lohan Like OK Like
2) What if the Joke is on You
3) Down boy
Unfortunately, Bat Sh*t Insane was not an option, cuz we guess most people would have gone with that. In the end Brit named her “comeback album” Blackout, which is probably what she had going on when she posted the above on her site. [AccessHollywood]
June 28 – Dear Mama – It looked like a scene out of some bad movie about a trailer trash family torn apart. In reality, only Brit looked like trash – her mom just happened to be on-set with daughter Jamie-Lynn and sitting at her trailer. But God sure does have a sense of humor! Decked out in jean cut-offs and a skimpy tank top, Britney handed her Mom a set of papers and stomped away after a quick convo. Rumored to be a restraining order, the documents were allegedly legal papers from an out of state lawyer asking her to stay away from Brit’s tots. Yep, she’s at her best when she’s droppin’ a little family drama on our asses! [JustJared, TMZ]
Britney Hawks Outfits on eBay
Bid on her stained trashy outfits and help her afford a couple more Taco Supremes. [TMZ]
Kate Hudson Opens Up About Owen
The actress dishes on her dysfunctional ex and has nothing bad to say – go figure.? [Us]
Tara Reid Tumbles Drunk in Bali
What’s a couple of cuts and bruises for this party girl? Life on the D List must be so hard. [NYDN]
Jennifer Love Hewitt Not Knocked Up
Guess this means no pregnant bikini shots of J Love for the world to criticize just yet. [NYDN]
Conan, Leno, Letterman: Back to Work
Hereeeeeeeeeeeeee’s Late Night TV! The hosts are back, but without their writers. Think they can pull it off?? [DListed]
How can a pop star live a normal life when the cameras are always in her face and her fans are so toxic? How much can one woman give before it’s time to shave her head and crumble right before the planet’s eyes? These were unanswerable questions until Britney Spears dropped her new video for “Piece of Me” a few hours ago. Have a peek, and you’ll find out why our girl is so tortured all the time. Leave her alone, damn it!
There are some things in this world that are just straight up fact. The world is round. The ocean is salty. Dogs bark. And Tyra Banks loves to talk. But did she really throwdown some smack about her fellow wig-lover Britney Spears? Last week spies reported that they overheard the Top Model maven saying, “[Britney] should just go ahead and kill herself after the album and go out like Marilyn, very grand. She should have done it after the last album.?
Sure, T likes to talk big, but would she really encourage Brit to take her own life (and what was so grand about Marilyn’s sad, lonely drug overdose anyway?)? We think she’d be more inclined to give her Twiggy’s vacated spot judging which girls are loved by the camera. Of course she’s released a statement that says, “Britney is a friend and we correspond with each other. These alleged statements are completely false.” Wouldn’t we love to see that correspondence – the word ‘girlfriend’ is surely used like, 100 times a day in the emails they must send to each other. The Tyra snitches aren’t havin’ her statement, and one called it “Lies, lies, lies.? So what do you think? Did Tyra really encourage BritBrit to do something fierce and end her own life?
A few weeks ago, we reported that Pete Wentz was banned from the Simpson family Christmas, due to an interview wherein he stated he sometimes “wishes he were gay.” Not so, said Pete, in an email to MTV. “[Ashlee's father Joe] even called me to let me know he expects me to show up for Xmas. So there’s no truth to that,” the guy-lined bassist said.
So just how will this Christmas play out? The Video Hits 1 Players decided to create a dramatization of the scene, complete with Papa Joe, Jessica, the Black Widow of Men and Movies alike, her quarterback boyfriend Tony Romo, and Ashlee and Pete.
Joe: Ashlee, honey, no. We’re not going back to a size six. Put the fork down.
Pete: So, Tony…I’ve often thought about playing football. Guys rolling around with other guys in tights — sounds like my kind of thing.
Tony: I don’t know. You kind of….wear eyeliner.
Joe: Ashlee, baby, push the plate away. I know you agree with a lot of what Tyra says, but that doesn’t mean you have to be able to share clothes.
Jessica: [Open-mouthed, staring off into space.]
Tony: So, Pete, Drop In Man. I’m a big fan of the band. I think it’s great how you and Ashlee have been able to keep it together for so long in the face of all the pressure. [whispers] Particularly Joe. Does he stay in the same room with you when you and Ash share a bed?
Pete: Yeah. You’ll get used to it. It’s the blinking light from the camcorder that keeps me from sleeping.
In a desperate attempt to look less like a human and more like all the other plastic robots wandering Los Angeles, High School Musical star Ashley Tisdale has gone and gotten herself a nose job! She used the old “deviated septum” excuse, but if you check out the before and after pics above you can see the obvious changes her nose has gone through. Before, she looked normal and interesting. After, she looks fake and puckered. Success!
But two former stars who have also been sliced up – Tara Reid and Michael Jackson – have recently been photographed looked more frightening than famous. Tara’s new scary skinny bod is one hundred percent freakish and zero percent sexy; while Michael just looks totally butchered (and covered in band aids!). So let this be a warning to the Tis – you’re just a couple slices away from looking really effed up. [People]