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Travis and Shanna Keep the Trend Going

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Big surprise – the stars of MTV’s Meet The Barkers are calling it quits for realsies this time. After shooting their reality – "look at us we’re a normal married couple with kids, tattoos and millions of dollars" – show about wedded bliss, the pair split, reconciled, and have now split again, for good. And good riddance to them! They join a slew of other couples who popped upon MTV together and in love only to find themselves bitten by the "We’re so happy together" reality TV show curse. Think we’re lying? Look who else has felt the black magic:

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Kelis Hearts Hate Speech?

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In what appears to be a regular column, Kelis gets her post-Imus discourse on in the latest issue of the newish, hip lass mag Missbehave. The piece titled "Kelis On…Name Calling," finds Mrs. Nas raging against political correctness. "If everyone just said what they thought, maybe we could move on, get past it all and really be free," Kelis writes in one of her more reasoned statements. One to practice what she preaches, Kelis indeed says what she thinks throughout the piece, taking an extreme stance to seemingly prove a point. "How about if a straight man calls another straight man ‘faggot?’" she wonders. "Is it more offensive if the man is gay?" That probably can only be answered on a case-to-case basis: does it hurt more as a gay man to be talked about behind your back or to your face?

Her most outrageous statement, however concerns our very own commander-in-chief.

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Usher’s Confession: I’m Not Whipped!

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He may be one of the sexiest guys in the world, but that doesn’t mean he can’t be controlled by a lady (Right ladies? Boss those men around!). Media outlets galore have reported for a while that Usher is under the thumb of fianc? Tameka Foster, who supposedly got the star to fire his mother as his long time manager.The crooner sent an open letter to People addressing rumors about his relationship, life, and accusations of physical violence against radio host Tom Joyner – which he denies. He writes, "I am happy, excited, completely clear and independent on my direction, feelings, decisions and I am NOT BEING LED. "

Usher also attacked those wedding rumors. He says, "It has already been announced that I plan to marry this year. However,
since my wedding day will be special to Tameka and I, this is
information that we would like to keep private." YEAH right! He can’t talk about it cuz that controlling lady of his won’t let him. We know a whipped man when we see one! [People]

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Diddy Wants You (To Get Him Cheesecake)

Are you unemployed? Looking to try a new line of work? Are you "the best"? Then you just might be Diddy‘s new assistant. The man of many monikers is in search of a new assistant, and all you have to do is upload a three-minute video to the Internet to apply. Though Diddy’s call to apply has a home-made, late-night, north-Jersey-furniture-showroom-commercial feel to it, one has to imagine that the man has money to spend, but there’s no word on compensation. And while you may not have a 401K, chances are you stand to gain a cast-off nickname and all the Sean John clothing you can wear out of the office. Check out some of the applicants here.

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Friday: The Beckhams Take LA by Storm; Paris Lets Someone Else Do The Driving

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The Beckhams Arrive in LA in Style
The British super family officially arrived in Los Angeles last night to take the city by storm with their soccer moves and skinny jeans. We can’t wait to criticize their every move. [NY Post]

Brit: No Lovin? from Bodyguard?
After reports that the pop star and her bodyguard were getting cozy, a source close to the mysterious Daimon says there’s no love between the two. He’s just there to protect Britney and watch her kids -sounds like the perfect man! [People]

James Blunt Sold Sister on eBay?
Yep, the sensitive rocker claims that he sold his sister on eBay to help her get to a funeral in Ireland. Even weirder – the winner of the auction not only flew his sis to the ceremony, but they started dating and are marrying this summer. Brits be crazy! [People]

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Jessica Simpson: Changing Faces?

When asked about plastic surgery in the August issue of Harper’s Bazaar, Jessica Simpson replies, "I’ve had none."

Uh, yeah. Not really buying that one. Credit where it’s due, though, she specifically says her boobs are real.

That’s plausible, unless she got them done when she was, like, 20. Although given her father: maybe.

[USA Today / Image credit: Getty]

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Don’t Mess with T.I.

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He may have the number one record on this week’s Billboard Top 200, but don’t think that makes T.I. any more relaxed. The hip hop star was in the middle of a performance at an ESPY Awards pre-party in Los Angeles on Tuesday and when a fan got in his way, he struck – literally. After a cup was thrown at the rapper he apparently jumped offstage and barged out into the audience, where he popped the culprit in the face with his mic. Stars such as Hilary and Haylie Duff were in attendance, and it would have been so much more exciting had one of them been the cup thrower. That mic smack could’ve been like a free nose job! Check out the pic on the right taken just a day after the tussle at the awards show. T.I. sure does clean up real good post-brawl. [TMZ]

by (@katespencer)

Courtney Celebrates 43 by Trashing Hotel

Alterna-mistress and original riot grrrl Courtney Love turned 43 in London this week, and celebrated her birthday by trashing her room at the Covent Garden Hotel. That’s right: She’s 43. And she trashed her hotel room. An "insider" told ITV News: "Staff said the room was left in a right state — like a wild animal had been let loose in there. She has used the place as an ashtray with butts strewn about and burn marks all over the bed, carpet and upholstery. I feel sorry for whoever had to clean it up." Nice going, Court. You’ve certainly become the poster-child for maturity. If you, dear readers, can’t get enough of her, check the disturbingly lucid inteview footage above. It’s fascinating in that plastic-surgery-disaster sort of way.

by (@katespencer)

Moz: Madonna Is Murder?

MozIf this was 1988, this would be the biggest news story ever: Former Smiths frontman Morrissey (and vehement vegetarian) slammed fur-loving pop star Madonna, claiming Madge adopted her son, two-year-old orphan David Banda, in order to make a jacket out of him. ?I wouldn?t be surprised if she [Madonna] made that African boy into a coat and wore him…for 15 minutes, and then threw it away,? said the famously dyspeptic singer. In the past, Moz has gone after his own band, George Michael and David Bowie, as well as mope rock king Robert Smith. Smith famously committed to eating meat, simply because Morrissey doesn’t. Way to gather support, Moz.

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Michelle: Under Beyoncé’s Spell?

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Once (and future?) Destiny’s Child member Michelle Williams has leaped to the defense of Beyonc? regarding the non-issue that has arisen from TMZ.com‘s quip about "Beyonc?’s roboho performance getup" that the diva wore during last month’s BET Awards (in a nutshell, Al Sharpton lashed out at the paparazzi-driven mega-blog, saying its use of the word "ho" was racist and misogynistic). TMZ then pointed out that their "ho" branding was not in reference to Beyonc?, but her outfit. But don’t tell Michelle that! Said the warbler to the New York Daily News:

"It’s downright mean. You can write me word for word. What has Beyonc? done to deserve being called a ‘ho’? No one should be called a ho!"

Way to go, Michelle, running to stick up for a poor, defenseless superstar. How much do you want to bet that this is Michelle’s way of angling for a Destiny’s Child reunion. Or, at the very least, for another cameo in a Beyonc? video? Michelle can do the Naomi Campbell walk and the scissor-leg, but her biggest talent is her ability to do the ass-kiss. [New York Daily News]