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More Kelly Clarkson Drama: Tour Canceled

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Just yesterday we reported that the original American Idol had fired her longtime manager as a result of her alleged fall-out with label head Clive Davis over her upcoming album My December. This afternoon, word has come via Kelly’s website that her upcoming summer tour has been canceled!

Kelly wrote on her site that, "The fact is that touring is just too much too soon," but a statement released by her representatives gives the darker details: "Plans for Kelly Clarkson’s summer tour have been shelved for now as the
singer and her team re-evaluate her show’s size and scope." Ticket sales for her shows were also lower than expected.

Eek. What is happening to our once solid, stable pop star?  Could her album really be that bad? If she starts reaching for the clippers or crashing her car into trees we’ll know she’s in real trouble.

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50 Cent: The Real Hottest Bachelor

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People Magazine‘s Hottest Bachelors issue is out, featuring the sweet , hunky faces of Blake Lewis, Jake Gyllenhaal and Ludacris. But they might want to revise their list to add 50 Cent, who just got $100 million richer.

The hip-hop star is packing away a ton of cash from his deal with Glaceau, the makers of Vitamin Water. Fifty signed on to have a drink named after him (Formula 50) in exchange for equity in the company as a shareholder. Glaceau was just bought by Coca Cola in a massive $4.1 billion deal, and now the rapper is set to rake it in, adding to his already enormous pile of millions.

It’s really cute that single Blake Lewis can beat-
box and all, but wouldn’t you rather have a man with millions upon millions of dollars – and a ton of crazy tattoos?

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Thursday: Brit Strips; Jen Gets Played

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John Yells at Jess: "Go Away!"

An exhausted Mayer freaks out on Simpson over the phone, allegedly demanding that she stop calling and texting. [Popcrunch]

Brit Strips Off Clothes for Cash?
The pop star’s been spotted changing outfits multiple times a day. The reason? A rumored deal with a paparazzi house, who can get more dough for each different pic of Brit. [TMZ]

Guard’s Book: Lilo Groped Mariah!
Her former bodyguard’s tell-all reveals that Lindsay supposedly loved the ladies, attacked Jessica Simpson and was dangerous to be around. That sounds about right! [MSNBC]

Read more…

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Kim To Become Kardashi-cat

KardashicatIf you haven’t seen Kim Kardashian‘s vagina by now, you’re either blind or religious. Either way: fair enough. If you’re the rare creature that doesn’t fall into the above two categories, here’s a consolation: soon, you’ll get to see Kim’s Pussycat. The woman most famous for her sex tape is said to be in talks to join the Pusscat Dolls‘ Las Vegas review, which has a sort of revolving door policy for celebrity guests (Scarlett Johansson, Christina Aguilera and Eva Longoria have all played in their litter box shared their stage). There are no details of Kim’s supposed PCD stint, but all signs point to it being a temporary gig.

As amusing as this news is, it’s also sort of counterproductive to Kim’s skank factor. Going from hardcore porn to burlesque (or whatever you want to call the PCD’s peen-teasing) is like going from Bergdorf Goodman to Fashion Bug. DOES NOT MAKE SENSE! [TMZ]

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Brit’s Brilliant Album Ideas

Every time Britney updates her website (remember this gem about hitting rock bottom?), I like to imagine her barefoot, locked in a giant computer room at her mansion in Malibu, typing away furiously while shoveling Cheetos in her mouth, and grinning as she types up some crazy rant while her "people" bang on the door begging her to stop. Thankfully, if this scenario is really taking place (oh, I hope so), she’s not listening to anyone but her the voices in her head (or weave). And they’re kind of weird.

Check out her latest masterpiece currently up on Britney Spears.com:

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Can anyone make sense of this mess? I cant, so I’m pretty sure the joke is on me. I’m voting for #2, even though I’m sure we all agree that Omg is Like Lindsay Lohan Like Okay Like is quite possibly, like, the greatest, like, album name EVER, like.     

by (@katespencer)

Akon Sings His Apology

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Akon
has come forward to apologize for that whole underaged girl-humping fiasco – and a bunch of other things – in song. Seriously. The controversial crooner’s new jam leaked on Ryan Seacrest‘s radio show, and you can listen to it here.

There’s no mention of Akon’s stage throw victim, so keep your fingers crossed for a second sappy forgiveness-seeking ballad. And remember, the next time something goes incredibly wrong, put the blame on Akon. It’s what he wants.

by (@katespencer)

Brit’s Battle: Over? Or Just Gettin’ Good?

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No one’s quite sure what’s goin’ on between Grandma Spears and her lil’ mama Brit.  Us Magazine’s most recent cover features an interview with Lynne about the pair’s attempt to mend their broken relationship. She dishes on her daughter’s mistakes, and gives the impression that the two are coming out of the darkness that is estrangement, buzz cuts and two day rehab stints. "Britney Jean Spears is the sweetest and the most sensitive and loving
of all my children," she tells the mag, "she’s just figuring
things out."

Find out who else Grandma Spears loves, after the jump!

Read more…

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Slim, Shady and Obsessed With Mariah

Mariahvsem On his next album, Eminem is said to be dusting off his favorite punching bag: Mariah Carey. The New York Daily News reports that a source close to Em has blabbed to OK! that “there is more than one track that goes into really specific, intimate detail about what went on between Em and Mariah.” Apparently, nothing notable has happened in Eminem’s life because he’s still talking about his supposed affair with Mariah, six years after he alleges it took place (Mariah has always denied any sort of romantic connection with the slim and shady one).

If this is true, Em’s seeming mighty desperate for material. Can’t he find someone else to supposedly have sex with and then rap about? Is Mariah’s sauce really that sweet or is he just wack?

After the jump, read a timeline of Em and Mariah’s epic feud…and you’ll see just how lame he is for still talking about this crap.

Read more…

by (@katespencer)

K-Fed Can’t Stop Makin’ Babies

Kfed_3 Actress Shar Jackson is reportedly in her seventh week of pregnancy, and the alleged dad is none other than the former Mr. Britney Spears himself. 29 year-old K-Fed already has two kids with The Ex-Wives Club star (and two with Brit, if anyone’s counting), and can’t seem to stop his superhuman sperm from procreating. The two probably didn’t even need to knock boots, Kevin’s ‘boys’ are so strong they just hitchhiked from whatever corner he was hanging out on to Shar’s house in Los Angeles and made it happen. Jackson has two children from a previous relationship, so the baby on the way will bring the total number of kids in the Jackson-Federline-Spears family to a lucky 7.

Oh – but please, whatever you do, don’t tell any of this to Kevin. Shar still hasn’t mentioned it yet. Pssst – now might be a good time.