After obtaining a marriage license earlier this week, Beyonce and Jay-Z are allegedly making it official in less than 24 hours! We’ve decided to celebrate BeyoncJay’s wedding eve with a list of predictions about their nuptials. Think we’re way off? Let us know in the comments section of this post. Though her dress is TOTES going to be House of Dereon. Trust.
Maid of Honor: Solange, obvs! Though Kelly and Michelle will be jealous, they know their place: bridesmaid city, baby!
Best Man: Kanye West, if he can handle not being the center of attention.
Location: We suspect the ceremony will be low-key and at City Hall, with a big bash at the 40/40 club.
Wedding Crashers: Damon Dash, Nas, LeToya Luckett, LaTavia Roberson, Farrah Franklin. Nothing like a few former friends to spice up the celebration. Maybe Destiny’s Child will reunite as six right on the dance floor!
Uninvited and pissed: Rihanna - there’s no way Jay’s prodigy is gonna be allowed anywhere near Beyonce’s special day. Go see a movie with “BFF” Chris Brown instead, Ri!
While guest host Dolly Parton had only the sweetest words for all of our top nine, last night marked the end of the road for yet another of our American Idol hopefuls. The bad news? This week?s loser was totally predictable — a long-awaited demise anyone could have anticipated. The good news? After tonight?s elimination, we?re down to a solid core of professionals and wannabes, all with a shot in heck at some form of post-Idol stardom. In other words, start taking notes — the annoying faces that grace your screen this week may grace your screen as guest performers and talking heads on future seasons of Idol. After weeks of waiting, the true competition starts.
Lindsay Sabotaging her New CD
LiLo would rather skip out on meetings with Timbaland than make an awesome album. Same old, same old.? [NYDN]
Jake and Reese Play House in Cabo
The most perfect couple relaxed and maxed in Mexico with her two perfect kids. Vom.? [MSNBC]
Is Britney heading back on TV?
Brit might return to her role as receptionist on How I Met Your Mother. Now if she’d only return to her role as hot pop star.? [TV Guide]
Jay-Z?s $150 Million Deal
He’s got 99 problems but money ain’t one – and Hov’s about to change the face of the music with his new deal with Live Nation.? [Reuters]
Jessica Alba?s Baby to Get Old Name
The Alba-nator is said to be naming her baby girl “Honor.” We like!? [DListed]
Brit’s still got it, ya’ll! But just as she’s about to comeback with a hot new look and lots of pap attention, she’s allegedly shacking up with K-Fed again to see if they can rekindle their, uh, love. That’s what Star is saying, and they have a source to prove it! “Kevin wants to take Britney away to see if there is anything to salvage between them,” an insider reveals. “When he suggested it to her, she told him she was ready to go anytime he was.”
Britney wait! Before you go down this hellish road all over again, take a second to look at how far you’ve come! You’ve gotten rid of your frapp addiction and we haven’t seen your vag in months! You’re reconnecting with your ex-manager! You wear shoes! You’re a new woman – or at least newer. The last thing
we you need is a little dose of K-Fed to send you skidding down that hill again. Stay straight Brit!
For every “Jailhouse Rock” there’s a “We Belong Together.” For every “All Shook Up” there’s a “Whenever You Call.” Punch for punch Mariah Carey has matched Elvis Presley in the singles department for years now – until today. Today’s the day she overthrew the King. With the arrival of “Touch My Body” at the top of the charts, the saucy R&B songbird kicks the ass of the Memphis master: Mariah now has 18 tracks that have reached the peak position. Champagne cocktails for everyone!
Next on the agenda: annihilate the achievements of John, Paul, George, and Ringo. The Beatles clocked 20 numero unos during their storied career. If Carey’s pending E=M2 bears the same kind of fruit as its predecessor, she may be the top dog of all time.
What – you’re tired of “Touch My Body” already? Crazy fool. Maybe this heavy-breathing remix with Rick Ro$$ and The Dream will revitalize you for a while.
Stuck at home with a load of Louis Vuitton luggage but nowhere to go? Never fear – Kayne West to the rescue! The rapper has taken the first step toward world domination with the launch of his travel website, Kanye Travel. The site launched on April 1st but from what we can tell this is no April Fool’s joke. Globetrotters – and fans of Kanye – can book all sorts of trips and services through his new venture, though none of the traveling seems to be linked to his touring schedule. Who knows what inspired Mr. West to dabble in travel, we just hope it brings us closer to fulfilling our dream of watching him have a tantrum at the airport. [LA Times]
American Idol surged forward this week, welcoming its first of no doubt many celebrity guest coaches, the inimitable Dolly Parton. Over the span of a career longer than most Idol contestants’ lives, Dolly has marked herself one of the finest songwriters in the business and one of its most recognizable icons. How did the nine remaining hopefuls stack up on an all-Dolly program? And what did America think?
Commenting on reports in the media that Slash had all but declared Velvet Revolver lead singer Scott Weiland persona non grata, the redheaded male sylph decided to fire himself. In a statement released to the press this morning, Weiland wrote:
“After reading the comment by Duff, Matt, Dave and the illustrious ‘GUITAR HERO,’ Saul Hudson, a.k.a Slash, I find it humorous that the so called four ‘founding members’ of Velvet Revolver, better known to themselves as ‘the Project’ before I officially named the band, would decide to move on without me after I had already claimed the group dead in the water on March 20 in Glasgow. In response to Slash?s comment regarding my commitment, I have to say it is a blatant and tired excuse to cover up the truth. The truth of the matter is that the band had not gotten along on multiple levels for some time. On a musical level, there were moments of joy, inspiration, fun?at times, but let?s not forget the multiple trips to rehab every member of the band had taken (with the exception of one member, no need to mention his name). Personally speaking, I choose to look forward to the future and performing with a group of friends I have known my entire life, people who have always had my back. This also speaks to my commitment to my music and my fellow band mates in STP and to the fans who I feel would much rather watch a group of musicians who enjoy being together as opposed to a handful of discontents who at one time used to call themselves a gang.
“P.S. Don?t be fooled by veiled trickery.
“P.P.S. Good hunting lads, I think Sebastian Bach would be a fantastic choice.”
Weiland is referring, of course, to the forthcoming Stone Temple Pilots reunion, which will only pave the way for Axl Rose to join
Guns N’ Roses Velvet Revolver. Good times all around!
P.S. We don’t think this is an April Fool’s joke, but then again, we’ve noticed that metalheads aren’t the best with dates.
P.P.S. Axl has not indicated any willingness to become involved with Velvet Revolver, but he wouldn’t mind becoming a Pepper.
Oprah Honors her Dead Dog with a Show
Queen O dedicates a show on puppy mills to her beloved cocker spaniel Sophie, who passed away earlier this year. RIP, O doggie! [Us]
Idol Rocker David Cook Hospitalized
The guitar-playing crooner was sent to the hospital with heart palpitations after his Idol performance. Guess that comes with the territory of being a heartthrob. [Us]
J.Lo Ready to Shed Baby Weight
Jen is ready to drop the 50 pounds she gained carrying her twins. Our guess: it’ll be gone in a week. Money does magical things for celebs! [Ok!]
Britney?s Getting Skinny Again
The pop star is attempting to eat healthy and cut back on the sugar, and has lost 15 pounds so far. As long as she doesn’t lose her mind, we’re cool! [Ok!]
Leno Apologizes for ?Gay? Remarks
The talk show host has finally apologized for an interview he did with Ryan Phillipe in which he asked the actor to give him his “gayest look.” [DListed]