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Janet’s Sick, So SNL Enlists Mariah

mariah.jpgSad news, Janet Jackson lovers: The Discipline pop star has dropped out of performing on Saturday Night Live this weekend because she’s sick with the flu. In her place, Lorne Michaels and team have drafted Mariah Carey, who, considering her recent video with Jack McBrayer, probably has the better sense of humor. Not that humor is necessarily a factor in SNL‘s choice of musical guests (although Paul Simon dressed up like a turkey was particularly memorable, as was Queens of the Stone Age‘s performance with Will Ferrell), but Mariah’s sense of kitsch ought to compliment the inevitable jokes about Eliot Spitzer, rising oil prices, potential war with Iran, and penises. We predict a penis joke or two because Superbad and Knocked Up star Jonah Hill is the host. For those of you who haven’t seen Superbad, just know the following: Mr. Hill is a rather notable proponent of penis-funnies. Too bad for Janet. She would have enjoyed this one, we think. After the jump, please find a trailer for Superbad 2: Super Worse.

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Idol: Who Murdered the Beatles? Syesha!

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Tonight our new co-ed American Idol crew took the stage for an evening of Lennon-McCartney songs. After wasting a good 15 minutes drooling over Idol?s flashy new set — “This is our new mosh pit, let?s hear it for the mosh pit! These are our lights, let?s hear it for our lights!” — the increasingly lewd Ryan Seacrest introduced the night’s theme: Beatles covers. The competitive stakes were high and the musical motif a challenge: transforming some of what Randy called ?the greatest songs in recording history? into three minutes of glory without sounding like a righteous karaoke fan or offending America?s collective pop conscious. For all of our contestants, last night was an opportunity to impress with the shtick they?ve been honing for the past few weeks — to tap into why American originally fell in love with the Beatles, and, with the help of their new stylists and coaches, present a gaudier, sexier and more refined version of themselves. Naturally, the results were vulgar. Let?s take a look:

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K-Fed on Broadway?

kfed-90x.jpgAfter starring in the real-life version of Criminally Insane Blonde, Kevin Federline is in talks to star in Legally Blonde on Broadway. Based on the 2003 Reese Witherspoon girltravaganza, K-Fed is up for “a trio of roles” according to USWeekly, including the UPS guy who falls in love with protagonist Elle’s manicurist.

This isn’t Federline’s first time in the world of song and dance. Before he was Mr. Britney Spears, Federline was a back-up dancer with L.F.O. He also released an ill-fated solo record in 2006 entitled Playing With Fire, which Rolling Stone called a “reprehensible rap debut.”

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Panic In the Studio: Behind the Scenes of Pretty. Odd.

In 2005, a group of teenagers from Las Vegas caught the attention of Pete Wentz, the guylined Fall Out Boy bassist who moonlights as a record executive. With the release of their fantastical first album, A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out, the band won raves from fans and critics alike.

After dropping an exclamation point and picking up a new band member, Panic At the Disco are back with Pretty. Odd. Check out a behind-the-scenes look of the band recording their brand-new album, and come back on March 18th when VH1 will be streaming the disc an entire week before it’s release!

Watch the video for “Nine In The Afternoon,” the band’s first single off Pretty. Odd

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Panic at the Disco Artist Page

by (@katespencer)

Wednesday: Benji Under Paris’ Spell

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Nick Lachey Returns to Reality
He’s got nothing else going on besides that hot girlfriend of his, so why not make a new reality TV show? [People]

Benji Rocks Paris Ring, Of Course
The cheesiest love of all knows no bounds. [Us]

The Beckhams Bored in Hollywood

The British stars think La La Land is dull. The feeling’s mutual, mates! [MSNBC]

Is Jowen Waniston a Hot New Couple?

The two actors have been spotted cuddling on the set of their new movie. Lonely hot people need love too! [Star]

Brit Looks Better Animated
Wow, in her cartoon form (created for her new video, natch) Britney looks hot – and nothing like her real life persona. [People]

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Snoop Votes Gangsta

Celebs head to Larry King‘s studio to explain their views, and Snoop Dogg is no exception. Mr Suspenders recently tried to nail down the Doggfather, “as a black man” sayeth Larry, on whether he was rolling with Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton. He said that Hil was probably the “mind and soul” behind her husband’s presidency, and both candidates have good “situations” behind them. But it’s the Gangsta party – not the Democrats or Republicans – he’s with. “Gin and Juice” in every home, y’all. Rhapsody is the place where you can hear Snoop’s new Ego Trippin’ for free.

by (@katespencer)

What Can Brit Buy With Her Allowance?

britney-spears-shopping.jpgBritney Spears has finally been given a little bit of freedom by the judge monitoring her court case. The singer is now allowed a $1500 per week debit card, given to her every seven days by her pops Jamie. Brit’s worth around $100 million, so she’s gonna have to curb her spending habits if she wants to stay on budget. As for her upcoming guest role on the ABC show How I Met Your Mother? Brit’s playing a receptionist at a dermatologist’s office, and will have to bank the bucks she’s raking in from the gig. Maybe she can save for a new weave?

We took a look at Brit’s shopping habits and have broken down what she can buy with her meager allowance. It’s gonna be tricky!

– 2542 bags of delicious, nutritious Cheetos

– 307 Venti Frappuccinos from Starbucks

– 125 pairs of fishnet stockings

– 116 cartons of Marlboro Light cigarettes

– 100 copies of pal Paris Hilton‘s CD – on sale!

– 75 pink wigs

– 1/2 of a Yves Saint Laurent Downtown Hair-Calf Tote

– .031 of a 2008 Mercedes GL550 SUV

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Listen to Snoop’s Ego Trippin’!

snoop-dogg-85x.jpgAll sorts of reviews are coming in for the new Doggy disc, but if you want to figure out if you like the way Snoop’s investigating old school R&B on his album, you can hear if for yourself (no, don’t worry, he hasn’t given up the gangsta scene completely – check how he’s getting paid in “Staxxx In My Jeans”). Rhapsody gives you the chance to stream the CD for the null set. Yep, free – no cost.

Don’t forget to check the “Life Of the Party” video.

by (@katespencer)

Brooke Hogan Lashes Out at Hulk’s Gal Pal

brookehogan.jpgIt’s obvious just from her flashy outfit choices that Brooke Hogan is bold. So it was no surprise to see this alleged message from the singer, directed toward her former BFF Christiane Plante. Her beef? Well, Christiane’s confessed to bedding Brooke’s pop, Hulk, and even emailed Perez Hilton, admitting the affair in an attempt to clear her name. Get ready for the claws to be unleashed! Brooke wrote on her Myspace page, “looks like miss christiane wrote into perez. I think she shoulda thought about what kinda press she was gonna get when she slept with her best friends famous father. Maybe she did. The truth always comes out, and I think we’re ALL seeing just exactly how karma works Christiane. Nothing you say will ever put my family back together. So why don’t you keep your opinion to yourself.”

Yes! We love the sass, Brooke. Let’s hope she keeps it up on her new VH1 show, Brooke Hogan Knows Best, which will follow her and her roommates as they take on the mean streets of Miami. We have a feeling she’ll be running the town in no time. [NYP]

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Rock & Roll Hall of Fame: Six High Points

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The 23rd Annual Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction ceremony took place in New York last night. Here are some of the evening’s best moments. Check out videos from the Inductees.

1. Justin Timberlake Brings Sexy Back.

Mr. Love Sounds made the word “induct” seem like the nastiet verb of the evening. He inducted Madonna with all the cheek you’d expect from a global pop star, telling tales about Madge helping him with a flu bug by ordering that he drop his pants and take a B-12 shot in the ass as the pair collaborated on M’s upcoming Hard Candy. He also shot an arrow or two at his ex. “The world is full of Madonna wannabes. I might have even dated a couple.”

2. Madonna Cops to Her Inner Punk & Dancefloor Druggin’

During a heartfelt acceptance speech, the singer explained her early days, learning to play drums to Elvis Costello records in the basement of an abandoned Queens synagogue and dropping a tab of ecstasy the night she jammed her demo tape into the hands of a Sire records A&R man. She also acknowledged her first big media explosion, “rolling around on the floor of the MTV awards with my ass hanging out.” During the wham-bam performance of “Burning Up” and “Ray of Light” by the Stooges, she was seen rocking along in the front row of the audience.

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