by Kate Spencer

Akon Charged for Tossing a Teen

Konvicted! The rapper has been officially busted for throwing that scrawny kid offstage during a concert this summer, and cops in upstate New York have charged the rapper with a misdemeanor endangering the welfare of a minor and second-degree harassment. It’s probably nothing for Konvict, who’s already spent a total of five-years in prison, but it’s still a good reminder that when it comes to kicking (or throwing) some kid’s ass, you may want to think before you smack that. If you are desperate to relieve the rapper’s raucous toss, check out the video above. [TMZ]

by Kate Spencer

Spoiled Lil’ Lindsay Paid to Shop

lindsay-lohan.jpgLindsay Lohan continues to get rewarded for being a totally effed up celebrity, and was paid by a bunch of companies to shop at their stores on Black Friday (the day after Thanksgiving when most sane humans lock themselves inside and eat cold mashed potatoes). As if she wasn’t spoiled enough, the retailers gave her free threads, too! The LoLo was spotted getting her shop on at Intermix and Armani Exchange, a store which seems a little too common for someone so rich and luxurious as Linds. Now all the hot shopping spots are clamoring to get LiLo in their doors, and as we know Linds will do anything for cash. Check out her shopping schedule for X-Mas Eve:

8:00 AM - Big Lots
10:00 AM - Barry’s House of Kinky Sex Toys and House Plants
12:00 PM – Olive Garden (family therapy session held over lunch – and a couple plates of that oh-so authentically Italian dish Five Cheese Ziti al Forno)
2:00 PM – Bob’s Discount Furniture
4:00 PM – H&N (the H&M knock-off store)

We sure hope Linds makes a couple bucks! Rumor has it she was desperate to sell some family pics taken over Thanksgiving to the tabloids, but no one was interested in her six figure asking price. Go figure. [MSNBC. Image: Getty]

by Kate Spencer

Weezy Falls in Love Over and Over Again

weezy-lauren.jpgWait a second. Last time we checked, Lil Wayne was making sweet, tender love to Karinne “Superhead” Steffans. It was only a couple of months ago that she gushed:

“He’ll be 25 in two weeks and I’m 29, but I’m willing to wait until he’s ready. In the meantime, he’s like my best friend. He’s my John Lennon, I?m his Yoko Ono, and together, it just works.”

And then there’s his ex-wife Toya, who said at the end of September:

“Me and [Dwayne] were crazy in love. We were inseparable. I would say I was one of his best friends at the time, up until now. I’m still a good friend of Dwayne. We have a good relationship.”

So with all these women swooning over Weezy, who would have thought that he’d go out and get engaged to some random actress whom he showed up with at a basketball game!? Apparently Wayne and This Christmas star Lauren London have been spotted together in New Orleans, and she’s also allegedly rocking some serious ring finger bling. Which can only mean one thing – Wayne moves on fast. REAL FAST! You think he’s told his Yoko Ono and his “good friend” of an ex-wife that he’s marrying a Sean John model? Give the guy a month and he’ll be bedding Mariah Carey. A couple weeks after that and he’ll have Miley Cyrus on his arm, but the next night he’ll be bringing Hilary Clinton to a party. There’s no stopping Weezy from spreading his love! [Bossip]

by Kate Spencer

Friday: Mary-Kate Olsen Leaves Hospital to Canoodle

mk-olsen-1130.jpgMary-Kate Gets Back to Clubbing
Quick recovery? You got it dude! Hospitalized for a kidney infection last week, Mary-Kate Olsen is back out on the town – dancing until 3Am and getting cuddly with a generic Hollywood hunk. [NYP]

Emails ‘Confirm’ Britney?s Baby
In Touch claims the emails they have on a Blackberry from JR Rotem confirm their claims that Brit’s knocked up; however isn’t that like the easiest thing to fake? [In Touch]

Paris? Boy Toy Meets the Parents
Paris took her Swedish model out to dinner with her parents. Is it getting serious or did she just need them to pay? [DListed]

Brad Pitt Bans Nude Scenes
Daddy Braddy doesn’t want to be mortified when his kids watch his films, so he’s canning all nude scenes moving forward. Will Angie follow suit? We doubt it! [Us]

Madonna: England’s Animal Abuser?
Always the ‘innovator,’ Madge died her sheep different colors for a Vogue photoshoot, pissing off animal activists galore. Not quite as controversial as that sex book, but she’s still got it! [NYP]

by Jonathan Durbin

Snoop Steps Into Time Machine, Wanders Into Bob Guccione’s House

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There’s something distinctly art-porn about Snoop Dogg’s new video. “Sensual Seduction” combines elements of ’70s Penthouse, the styling of Caligula and the makeup artistry of all the Solid Gold dancers. It’s a seductive, tongue-in-cheek skewering of . . . well, we don’t really know what he’s skewering, so there’s a chance he might actually have made this in earnest. Regardless of Snoop’s intent, the end results are beautiful. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we’re off to buy some Vaseline to smear on the lens of our Super-VHS.

by Kate Spencer

Paris Wants a Baby to Play With

paris-nicole.jpgMen – guard your sperm. Paris Hilton like, REALLY wants a baby. And for all the right reasons, too! To dress the thing up in pink, carry it around in her purse and force it to play with Nicole Richie‘s baby! Paris recently said, “Nicole and I have been playing together since we were two years old.I was just telling her, ‘I want a baby so that our babies can play together.’”

At that rate their kids will be enemies by the time they’re five years old. At least Paris is smart enough to realize that she can’t make a baby happen without a friend: “I don’t have a boyfriend right now,” she revealed. “But I would love to start a family.” She also tells People that she plans on popping some babies out in two years, which means she kinda needs to get things going. We wonder what she has in mind for the playdates? Tiny tables for the babies to practice walking dancing on? Thong diapers? Spelling the words Mommy Was In Jail with blocks? Yep, Paris is right, it’d be seriously awesome if she was pregnant right now so this could totally happen. [Image: Getty]

by Kate Spencer

R. Kelly May Be Dating a Teenager (Again)

rkelly.jpgIt’s no secret that R.Kelly has a thing for the young ladies (R.I.P Aaliyah), but rumors are currently flying that R’s publicist quit on his ass after discovering that he was getting busy with her nineteen year old daughter. Regina Daniels stopped repping the eccentric (we’re being nice) singer after 14-years together, and when she left she released this statement:

“Though I have a great appreciation for Mr. Kelly as an artist, there are some lines that should never be crossed professionally or personally. Mr. Kelly crossed a line that forever altered the scope of our relationship. For this reason I made the decision to resign.

My husband, music retailer George Daniels, has also disassociated himself from Mr. Kelly.”

Damn! Now pics have surfaced that show Kelly getting close to a young woman reported to be Daniels daughter; though anonymous sources that seem to support the superstar singer have come forward to counter that the woman is actually Daniels’ step-daughter, and say she’s 21-years old. They also allege Daniels left her position because she wronged Kelly by revealing private info about her client. The plot just keeps thickening! We’re all sorts of confused (we’ll just wait for more pics to come out!) but at least we’ve figured out where Kelly gets his inspiration for the Trapped in the Closet series. Here’s a hunch – maybe Daniel’s daughter is really Rosy the nosy neighbor (neighbor… neighbor…)?

by Kate Spencer

Britney Strips & Shoplifts at Dildo House

britney-spears-shoplifts.jpgWhat do you normally do on a Sunday night? Eat some leftovers or Chinese takeout, catch up on Curb Your Enthusiasm and head off to bed, right? But if you happen to be Britney Spears (which thankfully, is not the case), you trot your bad self to the Hustler sex toy shop in West Hollywood to try on some slutty underwear in the middle of the store. On November 18th Brit apparently loaded up on some panties at the shop and headed to the dressing room, but was told she could not try on the items. Now, for most of us adult humans this is a logical and obvious clothing store rule that anyone who’s ever had to buy underwear knows well. But maybe this was Brit’s first time? Her solution was to have a meltdown, after which she “took off her own underwear before trying on a pair of boyshorts (with “Barely Legal’ stitched across the rear end) in the middle of the store while 15 other customers looked on.” After being told she couldn’t strip and flash her vag in the middle of the store, Brit replied, “Well, I couldn’t take them in the fitting room!”

Oh logic, how Britney must miss you. B*tchy Brit bought the underwear (but not before she rolled her eyes at having to pay) and then stomped out of the store, grabbing a wig of a mannequin’s head on the way out. Yes, just like that rich girl you went to high school with who loved to steal bras from the local department store, Britney shoplifted and then rolled away in her Mercedes. Staffers at the Hustler store said talking to Britney was like “dealing with a child,” and alleged that she “looked out if it.” We’d hate to see what would happen if she was aware and perky. [Us Weekly. Image: Getty]

by Kate Spencer

Thursday: Britney Denies Baby Rumor

britney-1129.jpgBritney: ?I?m Not Pregnant, Ya?ll!?
Let’s all breath a big sigh of relief that there’s no new Spears on the way. Phew. [Us]

Jessica Simpson Regrets Divorce
Whoops! Maybe she should have thought about what kind of boyfriend John Mayer would be before she dumped her loyal meathead ex. [Us]

Helio Gets with Dancing Partner
The only thing that redeems this random dude winning Dancing with the Stars is that he just dumped his fiance for his 19-year old dancing partner. [NYDN]
Imus: Back on the Air ? And Pissed!
Look out! If you crossed Imus you’re gonna hear about it Monday morning when the disgraced radio diva gets back on the air. [NYP]

Jake and Reese Join Mile High Club?
These two, touch? Eh, we’re sure they were just doing dull things like reading and sharing moisturizer in there. [D Listed]

by Lauren Harris

Lindsay Lohan Hits the Studio, Possibly Bottle

lindsay_lohanWhat better way to celebrate a successful stint in rehab than to open yourself up to the acrimony of the public (Exhibit A: Britney) by recording an album? That’s precisely what Lindsay Lohan is planning to do — the uninsurable actress and marginally talented singer has announced plans to start work on her third album, tentatively titled Nobody’s Angel. Indeed. In more upsetting news, The New York Daily News is also reporting that La Lohan might be back on the sauce, having been spotted out in New York City drinking.

Given our familiarity with Linds’ back catalog (we own Raw and A Little More Personal), our hearts are aflutter with the possibilities of all this album will be. Here are a few tracks we’d love to see end up on there.

1. “The Black Kid Was Driving”
2. I Know Who Killed My Career…Me
3. Riley’s Song
4. Coke Ain’t All It’s Cracked Up To Be
5. Daddy’s Little Girl
6. I’m (In) OK (Magazine)…You’re (Not In) OK (Magazine)
7. Sober…Enough (duet with Britney Spears)

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