Every right-thinking rock fan wants Led Zeppelin to play more dates than the single reunion gig that’s caused so much ballyhoo since its announcement last month. But Robert Plant says it’s highly unlikely and Jimmy Page is uncertain. Someone should give the icons a magic eight ball. But maybe Zep fans are being fed some fibs about the likelihood of a more extensive tour. Seems that Ian Astbury, tough-guy singer for the Cult, mouthed off about his band’s opening slot on a Zeppelin 2008 tour on stage in that rock ‘n’ roll paradise, Cincinnati.

Blast the new, 5.1 surround sound version, of The Song Remains the Same until the real beans about the tour are spilled from the Zep camp.

And here are 10 tunes that don’t get enough respect from Zeppelinites.

Us Weekly has Britney back on their cover this week, and amazingly she’s looking a lot better than she has in recent months! Oh wait – a slower look has revealed to us that the girl on the cover is Britney from about 15 years ago. Whoops. They really had our hopes up there for a second! The mag is accusing Britney of faking her squeaky clean, virginal image from years past and alleges that she lost her virginity at the age of 14 to her hometown love Reg Jones. That whole purity thing with Justin Timberlake was supposedly all a scam too, and the mag says Brit and JT were actually knockin’ boots the entire time! Even worse, they dig up some real dirty stuff from her past – like her grandma who shot herself in the chest on the grave of her dead child, for example. Her great uncle Earnest Spears even weighs in on Britney, saying, “She didn’t have a hope of turning out normal.”

While not quite as salacious as a shotgun-wielding, suicidal grandma and an early-aged sex fest, we tend to think Britney’s recent life events have more to do with her current spiral towards disaster than some guy she got with as a teenager. If you consider that:

1. The girl got famous at 16
2. Brit traveling with world with no parental supervision whatsoever
3. She earned gajillions taunting ogling dudes (and little kids) with her abs
4. She got stuck with a loser husband, two babies, post-partum depression and a divorce in just two years

Well, she seems to be doing reasonably well given the past ten crappy years of her life. [Us Weekly]

Once more, John Mayer has taken to the internet to clear some things up. And after his recent douchebag confession we’re all ears. This time, though, the revelation isn’t quite so groundbreaking. Turns out John Mayer is in love with Justin Timberlake‘s FutureSex/LoveSounds album. Released September 21, 2006. Can’t stop listening to it, apparently. In particular, “I Think She Knows.” “When that track comes on I spend the first 3:30 preparing for the awesomeness to come. Then I yell at the speakers, ‘Make this 4 minutes long and put it on the next disc!’” Mayer states on his blog.

Which begs the question, where the hell has Mayer been for the past 14 months? We know there was that whole Personal Dark Age, where that Simpson cling-on must have sucked all light and culture from your days, but you never went to a bar? A department store? Surely you must have gone to a Target. No one ever mentioned anything, in a comic fashion, about “bringing sexy back” in front of you? Nothing? OK. Well we can only assume that Cammy D must have slipped it into your stereo during your weekend of surreptitious passion.