Yes, Britney Spears acts totally, effing insane. But it’s not that’s she’s crazy – it’s because she’s pregnant! Again! All those hormones are makin’ her weird, ya’ll! According to numerous tabloids, Britney’s been lugging around baby #3 for four weeks. Apparently Brit even emailed around a pic of the ultrasound last week (she knows how to email?) and the rumored father of her baby, producer J.R. Rotem, has supposedly confirmed the news (er, he probably confirmed it by leaving the country).
But a baby isn’t going to like growing up in Chez Britney, where she supposedly changes her kids’ diapers on the same white couch that she lets her little dog poop all over (we are not making this up). And if her new baby needs a pacifier, it can just suck on one of the sex toys Brit keeps in the “large, covered candy dish on the living room table.” The baby’s first words will probably be ‘booty call,’ cuz that’s what sex-obsessed Britney loves to do. She even has a “double-locked fantasy room” that a source says is “filled with sex toys, from ticklers, whips and chains to fur-trimmed handcuffs hanging from the metal bedframe.” Sounds like it’ll make a great nursery! [Image: InTouch]
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If Lauryn Hill‘s most recent public behavior (remember this amazing interview?) left you worrying about her mental stability, you aren’t alone: Lauryn’s former Fugee cohort Wyclef Jean tells Rolling Stone that he thinks the diva could use some counseling. Bellows Clef:
“I felt sorry for her, because I think she needs psychiatric help. I felt like she’s bipolar. You can’t get angry with someone who’s sick…So I even called her mom, and I stressed to her, ‘Yo, you need to get her psychiatric help.’ But I think they all fear her to death. She wasn’t always like this – but if someone has the ego and you keep feeding the ego, it’s going to turn monstrous.“
While the third Fugee in the equation, Pras, has never been shy about telling the press exactly what he thinks is wrong with Lauryn, Wyclef has been at least slightly more discrete. Perhaps he’s finally given up on the dream of the Fugees reunion. Maybe he’s really concerned for his former bandmate. Or it could be that he’s just really desperate for attention, what with his new album sitting on shelves, and all. [New York Post]
Lauryn Hill Artist Page
Lauryn Hill: America’s Entertainer
All Spice Girls Pics
How many different ways can you think of to say “cougar-ific?” We can think of at least five — and lucky for us, they’re all collected together in the Spice Girls. The ’90s British sensation kicked off a decade’s worth of bubblegum pop and teen idolatry with singles that ran ruts in the collective consciousness. (We dare you not to hum “Wannabe” right now. Hard, right?) In the years since their initial rise to fame, they never left the pop-culture eye. Posh turned her marriage into a business venture; Baby started a solo career and made guest appearances in Bollywood films; Scary broke up with Eddie Murphy and made it to the finals of Dancing With the Stars. And that’s to say nothing of their reunion. Their tour kicks off Sunday in Vancouver, and they’ll be heavily featured on CBS’s broadcast of the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show on December 4th. We’re looking forward to their get-ups.
Spice Girls Artist Info
Helio Castroneves Takes Dancing Crown
The soap star beat Mel B. and Marie Osmond to win Dancing With the Stars. Who-lio? [Us]
Oprah Wants You to Love Obama
The most famous woman in the world is hitting the campaign trail in support of her fave candidate. Oprah, Obama. Obama, Oprah. Nope – that joke still doesn’t work. [Variety]
Britney Dumped by New Driver
The singer’s new chauffeur has quit after determining that driving Britney around was a “liability.” Ah, ya think? [TMZ]
Paris Still Courting Pizza Boy
The heiress is still skankin’ around town with her Swedish pizza boy, delivering nastiness all over L.A. in under 30 minutes. [TMZ]
Nicole Gets Personal About Baby
The Simple Lifer opens up about her pregnancy and sounds more like a celebu-mom than a celebu-tard. Now if only she’d go back to being a celebu-nobody, we’d be happy. [People]
Usher‘s wife, Tameka Foster, reportedly gave birth to a boy Monday night. Word is that Tameka and baby are expected to head home from the hospital on Wednesday. The family has yet to release a statement, so details are scant. We know nothing of the boy’s name or his birth weight. I know the mystery of Usher’s child’s birth weight is going to keep you up at night, so rest assured, we will keep you updated as details roll in. The story is still developing…like a newborn, actually. [People]
One would think that a woman on the verge of losing custody of her children and her driver’s license might have more pressing issues on her mind, but not Britney Spears. The Hindenburg of Pop Music is starting production for her music video today in Los Angeles for her second single “Pieces of Me.” You might remember this track as the ditty she takes aim at the media’s portrayals of her: “I’m Mrs. American dream/ SinceI was 17/I’m Mrs. Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous/I’m Mrs. ‘Oh my God, that Britney’s shameless’/ I’m Mrs. ‘Extra, extra, this just in’ / I’m Mrs. ‘She’s too fat, now she’s too thin.’”
The premise of the video, as reported by UsWeekly, has Spears sneaking into a club in disguise with her back-up dancers in order to elude the paparazzi (no word on whether Brit’s omnipresent court-appointed monitor gets a part). Given Spears’ visitation schedule with sons Jayden James and Sean Preston, she’ll only be available to shoot for two hours. Shots planned include Spears running down a staircase, and dancing on a
bar, both activities the pop tart should be an old pro at, provided underwear isn’t required. Personnel on the shoot also includes a boby double for Brit, according to UsWeekly.
Foxy Brown Ditches Cell with Good Behavior
The jailed rap star was allowed to leave solitary confinement early due to her good behavior. Really? [TMZ]
Paris Wears Underwear to Lunch
P, her sis Nicky and pregnant pal Nicole Richie all met for lunch, and Paris wore a slip with stockings and not much else. If she is that desperate for attention maybe she should try covering up. Then we’d actually be shocked. [Just Jared]
Britney Gets Babies for X-Mas
K-Fed generously gave Brit their kids for Christmas after he got the boys on Thanksgiving. He just wants to get sloshed in peace this holiday season. [NYDN]
Madonna Won?t Let Her Hubby Fail
Madge is reportedly doing damage control for her man’s new movie after it got panned by British critics. She should just show them one of her flops and Guy’s flick will look a lot better. [NYDN]
Dancing with the Stars Disappoints
The finale of everyone’s fave show was a flop, because the celeb dancers kinda suck. Eh, Jennie Garth could have told ya that. [Us]
Seeing as China just welcomed Paris Hilton to their fair land, we doubt they would have a problem with Britney Spears paying them a visit. But let this be a warning to our communist pals – BritBrit is coming and she wants your babies! Yes, the world’s most unnatural disaster is rumored to be looking to adopt a set of twins from China, and has told pals that she is in the “final stages of talks with an adoption agency.” Britney must be having a great time explaining her love of driving kids around in her lap to the adoption officials! Apparently Britney is devastated by the current custody loss of her two sons, which is obvious to the human eye by the amount of time she spends tanning and drinking Starbucks. That’s a woman who misses her kids! Her two new potential tots are actually six-years old, which probably means Britney just wants them cuz they’re old enough to be her pals. Lets be real – at six they’ve got the same level of emotional maturity as Brit (if not more) and they’ll be so much fun to watch High School Musical with! She’ll probably try to dress them in fishnets and drag them out dancing. And they’ll have to say yes – afterall, she’s the mom. Gulp. [NOTW. Image: Getty]
This Thanksgiving I gave thanks to Paris Hilton, for being beautiful, sure; but mostly just for being wonderfully stupid. Yes friends, that dead turkey you deep-fried and devoured last Thursday has more brain power than our rich, perfume-hawking princess, and she wants the whole world to know! Paris was in China doing whatever it is that she does for that job of hers (posing, smiling, spending, and swapping fluids with dudes, probably) and was blown away by the stylistic modernity of Shanghai. “Shanghai looks like the future!” she declared of her surroundings, which was, at the time, a Hyatt Hotel where her press conference was being held.
Ladies and gentlemen, Paris Hilton has seen the future and it’s full of polyester, neon lighting, and crappy framed photographs of world landmarks. But rest assured – there will be sleep number beds for all! [Ok! Images: Getty]
Check out more pics below of Paris partying, sightseeing and clutching a stuffed panda bear while roaming the streets in China.
If we told you that Britney ran a stop sign, would you be surprised? How about three stop signs – in a row? Still not surprised, right? Yeah, neither are we. But what’s even less surprising is that there’s video of her dumb driving, and we’ve got it for you above! Because you know that whatever Britney does, it must be documented on tape. Britney waxes her moustache? On tape. Britney clogs the toilet? Gotta film that! No matter how small the dirty deed, regardless of how boring it is, it must be captured for the masses to see! Because as we all know, she does everything wrong. You think her driving is bad? You should see the girl sleep. And at the rate the paparazzi is going, we will, soon. [via Us Weekly]