"Busta‘s lovemaking was not for the timid or faint of heart," writes scabrous radio personality Miss Jones in her just-released memoir Have You Met Miss Jones?: The Life and Loves of Radio’s Most Controversial Diva. In the book, she takes down Beyonc?, Jay-Z, rival radio loudmouth Wendy Williams and a host of other urban-radio royalty, but her most hilarious comments (at least, those excerpted by today’s article in the New York Daily News) were reserved for her one-time lover Busta Rhymes. Says Jonesy, "Busta was as gentle as he could be, because he was packing." But never one to give a compliment without then consulting the back of her hand, Jones continues in her acidic pseudo-wit:

"The fact that our lovemaking never lasted too long didn’t bother me, because I didn’t enjoy his drops of sweat raining down on me. [Afterward] Busta would stroll around the apartment butt-naked, then shower and go into the kitchen and fry an egg sandwich – for himself. I guess I should be grateful. It’s not like he didn’t offer me a bite."

After all, what goes better with H.A.M. than a fried-egg sandwich? [New York Daily News / Image credit: Getty]

In the latest screen-to-stage move, ’80s cult fave Desperately Seeking Susan is being turned into a West End Musical. Downtown icon Debbie Harry of Blondie fame has penned one new song for the play, “Moment of Truth,” and the score will include Blonide hits “Tide Is High,” “Heart of Glass” and “One Way Or Another.” The film, which epitomized New York’s East Village culture at the time, was Madonna‘s acting debut and remains one of her only tolerable film performances. The play opens October 12th at London’s Novello Theater.

Avril Lavigne is getting a lot of heat these days, and it’s still kinda unclear if it’s warranted or not. Today’s latest accusation against the pop punk princess is that she’s ripped off a song by electroclash queen Peaches. You can check it out and take a listen for yourself. Sure they sound similar, but it’s doubtful that Peaches is the first artist to ever rap lyrics over an electronic drumbeat. Anyone with a computer can do that these days. What really should be in question are the lyrics of this Avril song. "I’m the one who’s got the prance" just doesn’t seem to go along with all that hardcore punk plaid and middle finger thrusting. We look forward to seeing what "the one who wears the pants" has to say about this latest finger point in her direction. Any comment, Avs?

Madonna reportedly issued a weird decree to U.S. reporters backstage at Live Earth: they were to never break eye contact with her as they interviewed her. They were told that the simple act of looking down to check their notes would cause the interview to be canceled. One anonymous source said: “It’s intimidating enough interviewing Madonna, because she’s so intense, but when we were given these weird orders it was even worse. We thought her people were just joking. But it soon became apparent that they were deadly serious.”

The crazy thing about her demand is that a tenant of diva behavior is to demand that underlings avoid eye contact. But that’s Madonna for you: constantly digging up new ways to be a pain in the ass. The woman is an innovator.

But really, I think she wanted people to maintain eye contact so that they’d stay still long enough for her to catch them with the spider legs she had attached to her face in the place of eyelashes.

Terrifying, right? [Mirror.co.uk / Image credit: Getty]

Britney Spears is reportedly getting close to her bodyguard/boyfriend, and the two were spotted frolicking with her sons Sean and Jayden in her Malibu compound pool over the weekend. But that’s not even the most exciting Britney news to surface today. Rumors are floating around the web that she may actually be attempting that anticipated comeback with the release of a new single, supposedly titled "Get Back." Some alleged lyrics to the song:

so you?re the one
who want us
to get back
(you say lets get back together)(lets get back forever)
now its u the one
who?s followin me around
like a homeless dog
and you pray
(let?s get back together,let?s get back for better)
get back
lets lets lets
get back(back,back,back?)

This could all be just one great big rumor, but if not, we sure hope "homeless dog" sounds better in song than it looks on paper. This is like one step up from Brit’s usual attempts at putting her feelings into words. But still – if there’s anyway we can get old Britney back, we’ll take it. Get that girl a snake and some sequins!