In the post-Nipplegate era of Super Bowl halftime shows, a majority of the performers have been stadium rock acts, carefully chosen by the NFL because they, to borrow a political expression, play to the base. Acts like Bruce Springsteen, The Who and Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers are all Rock And Roll Hall of Famers with undeniable chops and impressive catalogs, but also artists that are unquestionably “safe” (meaning, no one’s gonna get pissed and flip the channel when The Boss launches into “Born To Run”). However, this year’s selection of Madonna —one of the most controversial artists of the Eighties and Nineties— might very well push some of Joe Six-Pack’s buttons.
Because the world still needs more “Sh*t [Insert Noun Here] Says,” (sense the tone) someone went ahead and made a “Sh*t Drake Says” video. Poking innocent fun at Drake, the video parodies the rapper using his actual lyrics and imagined things he might say in conversation based on those. Portraying Drake as “soft,” which seems to be the go-to joke when ribbing Drake, the video has Drake talking about girls, talking to girls, generally being a romantic, and showing off a bit to his boys as well.
While we’re sure Ke$ha’s wild life will have plenty of juicy action to make for a thrilling documentary, we’ve got a few little fantasies of our own. Based on what we know of Ke$ha’s life, career, likes and dislikes and high powered friends, we’ve fictionalized 5 scenes we’d like to see in the final cut:
1. A 24 themed title sequence set to “Tik Tok”
“Hi, I’m Ke$ha, and this is the longest day of my life.” Cue frenetic, fit-inducing paced montage of images of Ke$ha, on stage, tongue out, crowd surfing, doing make up, in the studio, hugging Britney etc. Set it to the sound of “Tik Tok,” and finish with the word “Ke$ha” spelled out in the font style of a digital clock, and let the letters tick over into the time. Cut to a scene of Ke$ha waking up — obviously our imagined documentary revolves around a day in the life of Ke$ha.
Demi Lovato isn’t afraid of being vocal about her illnesses, and while she’s suffered eating disorders, cutting and drug addiction in the past, she’s always been an advocate of sharing and understanding in order to promote awareness. Recently, Demi Tweeted that she was “Angry” with God, prompting concern that she was back in dire straits.
Was Seal sending out a not-so-subtle message to soon to be ex-wife Heidi Klum, or was it just a happy coincidence that he sang Al Green‘s “Let’s Stay Together” on Ellen yesterday? Regardless, Seal gave a perfect vocal performance, staying true to Al Green’s style. Looking sharp as hell on his glittering stage, Seal’s rendition of the classic song was practically flawless, and he moved between the high and low notes with a naturalness that made the whole thing look criminally easy. So easy in fact, that we gave the song a go right here in the office — let’s just say that just because something looks easy, it doesn’t mean that it is.
Man Goes To Jail For Killing His Mom Over Avril Lavigne
In a crime of passion, a now 39-year-old man killed his 61-year-old mom in 2008 when she failed to call in a favor to get him Avril Lavigne tickets, now he’s going away for 40 well deserved years. [Prefix]
Kelly Rowland Gushes Over Baby Blue Ivy Carter
We haven’t seen the baby yet, but Aunty Kelly Rowland is just crazy about baby Blue Ivy Carter. “She is just more precious than a diamond. She’s just so stunning,” Kelly raves in an interview. [Rap Up]
If you thought you’d seen an intense stare before, then you were wrong — no stare you could possibly have seen before compares to the intensity of Adam Lambert‘s stare on the cover of his new album, Trespassing. Dark and dramatic, the cover features Lambert’s gaze locked against yours, his perfectly coiffed hair spiking out to anime perfection. And there’s a sense of the animated to the whole portrait, but that’s not to suggest it’s cartoonish. Post production seems to have put the image somewhere in the spectrum of Sin City unreal-realism, and we’re just hoping the music inside is half as powerful as the imagery on the outside. If his live television performance of “Better Than I Know Myself,” and the descriptions he’s given of the new music are anything to go by, then we think we’re in for a real treat!
Lana Del Rey, so buzzy you can’t go anywhere without hearing the dull hum of her beating wings (even when you’re lying in bed at night, and even though you can’t see it, you can hear it flying around your face in the darkness), has made a last minute cancellation of a UK live appearance. Lana Del Rey was set to appear tonight on MTV UK’s Brand New For 2012 show at London’s Koko nightclub, but has pulled out at the eleventh hour due to “illness.” We’re expecting her withdrawal from the show to garner some attention, if not criticism, especially in the aftermath of her controversial SNL appearance last week.
Lana Del Rey’s debut album, Born To Die, is also set to drop next week, so the young starlet is most likely run ragged promoting it. Beginning to open up in interview, Lana Del Rey recently told The Telegraph of the new album, “I think it’s beautiful. I think it’s gorgeous. This album is my self in song form. So if they sort of sound like everything fits perfectly together, it’s because it does. There is nothing altered, nothing compromised, they are perfectly me. For better or worse, it’s like a person in song and video form.”
Speaking to Complex, she revealed the inspiration behind her love songs saying, “I know what it means to meet someone who’s f***ing fresh to death,” and “When I found somebody who I fell in love with, it made me feel different than I felt the rest of the day. It was electrifying. That’s what inspired the “Off to the Races” melodies. That’s one of the times when you’re feeling electrified by someone else and they make you happy to be alive.” It seems that with the the album release so close, and with these unprecedentedly intimate interviews, the Lana Del Rey flower is blooming, the the whole story is starting to come together. We’re intrigued to see what comes next for the overnight sensation.
Sundance is now considering changing its name to Rapdance after Common‘s amazing freestyle rap for VH1. Just kidding, they’re not, but we think they definitely should. Common pulled an impressive freestyle rap out of his sleeve at Sundance and we’re just waiting for him to remix it into a real song, especially since we got a shout out in there, “The one, the rap shining sun / I do this for who? For who, VH1!” Common doesn’t skip a beat, proving his expertise at the rap game with his easy freestyle flow.
And the buck doesn’t stop there, with Common also taking a moment to address his highly publicized beef with Drake. Having dissed Drake in song, rapping the unequivocal “Soft n***a. Make no mistake, I’m talking to Drake,” in “Stay Schemin,” Common tells MTV news that he’s said all he needs to say, “I kind of addressed it so much on record, I feel like I don’t really have any more to say about it it. I just think it’s part of a hip hop battle, that’s all really.” You can see the rest of what he had to say after the jump, but we’re glad to hear the score is settled, at least on Common’s side.
Fiona Apple is back! If you were a girl growing up in the 90s then you probably adopted “Criminal” as something of an anthem, as Apple fit in that gloriously angsty alterna-girl niche that characterized femininity in music during that era. If you were a boy you probably loved her too, but that probably had less to do with the tumultuous feeling of feminine frustration and more to do with different sort of southern oriented tumult. Anyway, the point is, Apple’s label, Epic via CEO LA Reid, has announced that she’ll be dropping a new album sometime soon/this year in a Tweet:
It’s her first album since 2005, and there’s no actual release date set yet, so for now we suggest you get into the back catalog for preparation. Here’s the song that got us hooked on Fiona Apple in 1997, “Criminal”: