Crooner R. Kelly is trapped in the courthouse, stuck in the middle of a heated child porn trial revolving around a video of the singer having a three-way with an underaged girl. A new witness is set to testify against Kelly, and is claiming that not only can she identify the young woman in the vid (who appears to be 13 or 14 and whose identity has been disputed in court), but that she too engaged in group sex with R. Kelly when she was a young teenager too! For the record, R. Kelly is 41 years old. Yes, this might just be the grossest thing ever. If only R had just stuck his key in an older ignition, this mess could have been avoided. Beep. [Chicago Sun-Times]
Britney Spears left the safety of Malibu to head to her hometown of Kentwood, LA for her sister’s bridal shower and guess what, the party was apparently “normal!” This not only the first time Brit’s been back to Kentwood in over a year, but it’s also the first time she’s been described as normal in ages. All in all this trip was a huge success! A guest in attendance said that, “Jamie Lynn opened every gift. We all sat in a circle and she opened gifts and thanked every person. It was just a good old-fashioned baby shower.”
B kept it so real in honor of her lil sis, that she got all dolled up in a dress to smoke on the porch and then headed back home to Cali in a sexy get-up of tiny pink shorts and white wedge flip flops. The singer really embodies the greatest joy of motherhood – dressing trashing. Jamie-Lynn has so much to look forward too! [People]
Heidi and Spencer fake their relationship ups and downs for tabloid cash. Shocker. [The Superficial]
Britney will be attending Jamie-Lynn‘s baby shower in this weekend. Louisiana beware.? [DListed]
Madonna: not 24, but dresses like she is! [Seriously? OMG!]
Kate Hudson has a stalker, and it’s not Owen Wilson. [I'm Not Obsessed]
Check out pics of Paris Hilton kidnapping another helpless puppy to dump in her harem of tiny dogs. [ICYDK]
Naomi Campbell may claim she’s not crazy, but she sure looks the part. [Concrete Loop]
If you spotted Madonna yesterday, you were probably surprised to find her looking a little less energetic than usual. In an uncharacteristic move for the work-out-aholic and mother of three, Madge went out after her triumphant Roseland show and “tied one on” with her evening co-star, Justin Timberlake. “We had to celebrate,” a groggy Madonna told Ryan Seacrest when she called into his morning show. “[We] decided we both work too hard and have to have fun.” Drinks with Justin Timberlake sounds like fun to us. The star reportedly sipped on a martini at her after party at New York’s The Box, then had a shot of tequila and a lemon drop.
Calling Brangelina, TomKat, X-Tina, Nicole, and Jarc Lopanthony!!! Usher thinks you and your million dollar baby photos are disgusting! He’s speaking out against all the celebs who accept cash from mags in exchange for baby pics, and he’s pissssssed. “In no way would I ever pimp out my child for money,” he growled to Page Six after rumors swelled that he too was selling pics of his newborn, Usher V. “I am livid that people talk about my child.”
He also ranted about the (mis)treatment of his wife Tameka, stating, “I stand by her as a man loving my wife and being there for my child . . . this is my wife and I would hope that [people] would respect my wife and my marriage and who I have chosen to spend my life with.” Certainly we respect Usher’s opinion (his wife is another story) and agree with his baby-pimpin’ stance. Still, we find it a little odd that he’d then pose with his son – for free – on the cover of the June issue of Essence magazine. Isn’t it possible to pimp even if no cash exchanges hands? [Page Six]
Holy crap everyone! A blog, Hollyscoop, has “learned exclusively through multiple sources that Beyonce is expecting.” OMG!!! This completely anonymous source assures the world that B is in her early stages and that everyone at their wedding knew the good news, however she won’t reveal it for a while because ya know, they’re super private. Except, of course, when it comes to talking to this anonymous source, natch, who also alleged that they had a shotgun wedding due to the pregnancy.
Wow! Guess what? I have an exclusive anonymous source (my cat) who can reveal that Britney Spears is going to be the democratic nominee for President and that Paris Hilton has gotten rid of her Bentleys and plans to ride horses around Beverly Hills in order to stop pollution! Oh, they’ve also give me an exclusive pic of Beyonce and Jay-Z‘s yet to be born baby decked out in Dereon (see above)! Anonymous sources are like super heroes, ya’ll. Totally amazing and 100% fake!
This week Coldplay released the cover art for their upcoming album, Viva La Vida, which is just what the chaps have been doing since they were last in the spotlight (hanging with Kanye, living with a fox). In addition to the cover, we also snagged you the track list, which is after the jump. If you want to give their newest single a listen, head to Rhapsody and tell us what you think of “Violet Hill.”
Latina is reporting that Mariah Carey‘s supposed beau Nick Cannon is not only her man for real, he’s now also her husband! Citing a source close to Nick, the site reports that Mariah and Nick wed yesterday on a small island in a “very impulsive” ceremony attended by Da Brat and some others close to the pair. Do you think maybe that this is all some big April Fool’s joke that’s arriving fashionably late?
Maybe that’s wishful thinking — as the shot to the left (from the set of Mariah’s 2005 video for “We Belong Together”) proves, Mimi is definitely the marrying type. This would be her second marriage (she divorced svengali Tommy Mottola in 1998) and Nick’s first, since he’s, like, 12. [Latina.com]
With the spring here, people are coming out of their winter hibernations to greet the world with arms wide. Makeovers are a fairly standard endeavor, and John “He Gets the Joke, Really” Mayer is no different. This morning, Mayer took to his blog to alert his fans and detractors of the remarkable transformation he’ll undergo:
Today I set off on my newest project; to grow and maintain an authentic ’80s style feathered haircut. It’s something I’ve wanted to do for some time…
It’s nice Mayer’s getting to scratch this off his bucket list, while simultaneously stimulating Michael J. Fox’s Yahoo Hot List rating, but one can’t help but wonder what else Mayer could be doing with his time, or on a scale of one to ten, how pleased he is with himself.
Katie Holmes was forced to attend Scientology Boot Camp.? [DListed]
Ashley Olsen smiles for the first time since starring on Full House. Pearly whites? You got it dude!? [PopSugar]
There is a show called Farmer Wants a Wife debuting tonight. TV has officially jumped the shark.? [Seriously? OMG!]
Charlie Sheen still loves hookers. Surely his fiancee is not surprised.? [I'm Not Obsessed]
Jessica Simpson needs attention, talks about boyfriend. Snooze.? [JustJared]
The repo man came and took Lil Kim‘s Bentley. How royally embarrassing. [Crunk+Disorderly]