Mimi’s Sham Marriage Already a Disaster

by (@katespencer)

Mimi better watch who she’s bossing around! Apparently pals (she has friends?!) close to the singing star are placing bets on how long her marriage to Nick Cannon will last, and they’re guessing “six months, tops.” The reason? Nick is stuck doting on his bride 24/7, and allegedly spends more time lugging her shopping bags around than he does cuddling with his older love. A source spills that,

“Mariah?s assistants and friends call him ?Whipped Nick? behind his back. They have little respect for him because he won?t stand up for himself.?

Well if he won’t, we will! Mariah, leave your man alone! Otherwise he’ll be leaving you – and fast. [MSNBC]

Simmons Kids Snag a Sh*t Load of Russell’s Cash

by (@katespencer)

Our favorite almost-divorced couple is finally working out the kinks of their divorce settlement, and Kimora Lee Simmons is walking away with a phat wad of ex-hubby Russell‘s cash. Well, not Kimora exactly – their kids. Yep, each girl – Ming Lee, 8, and Aoki, 5 – will get $20,000 a month from their dad until they turn 18. That adds up to $480,000 a year for each kid – who already spend their lives living large in a $24 million mansion in New Jersey.

In case you forgot, the still amicable pair divorced after nine years of marriage. Kimora is now dating super-hot actor Djimon Hounsou, while Russ keeps busy doing yoga with model Porschla Coleman. [NYDN]

Thanks Daddy!

Britney’s Delivery Room Freak Out

by (@katespencer)

BritBrit had a major meltdown in sister Jamie-Lynn‘s delivery room last week, while her sis was trying to push out her daughter. J-L was determined to have a natural birth, but when doctors discovered that the baby’s umbilical cord was too short, they began pushing for a C-section. But Jamie-Lynn, being the stubborn Spears that she is, insisted on pushing that sucker out vaginally. Guess who didn’t like that idea! Britney of course, who screamed, “Just have a damn Caesarian,” before storming out the delivery room in tears. Yes, even as her sister gives birth, it’s all about her. [Star]

Brit continued her quest for a hot bod and hit up the gym on Tuesday, perhaps to blow off some steam. If she wants to lose weight, she should just cut off that monster on top of her head. That ponytail probably clocks in at 20 pounds!

[X17]

Chris Brown and Rihanna Still Not Dating

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Rihanna Rih-emphasized what she has been saying for months about beau Chris Brown. “We are not dating,” the “Umbrella” singer told the ladies of The View in Las Vegas on Monday.

“He?s an amazing person, but we are not dating. We’re very close friends though. Very, very close,” she said.

Let’s see what these close “friends” have been up to lately besides romantic dates at KFC in our gallery of Rihanna and Chris just hanging as “pals”?

Kanye West’s Blog Breakdown

by (@katespencer)

Is there anything more enjoyable to read than a Kanye West blog post freak out? Yeah, we thought not. The latest rant from your favorite fashion/music/ridiculous sunglasses icon about criticism from fans that he went on too late at Bonnaroo a couple of weeks ago is perhaps his finest work. A masterpiece of crazy blogging! Amazingly, this is just a tiny bit of the 700+ word rant. Get ready to be blinded by explanation points!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am sick of negative people who just sit around trying 2 plot my downfall… Why???? I understand if people don’t like me because I like me or if people think tight clothes look gay or people say I run my mouth to much, But this Bonnaroo thing is the worst insult I’ve ever had in my life. This is the most offended I’ve ever been… this is the maddest I ever will be. I’m typing so f*cking hard I might break my f*cking Mac book Air!!!!!!!! Call me any name you want…. arrogant, conceited, narcissistic, racist, metro, f*g whatever you can think of…. BUT NEVER SAY I DIDN’T GIVE MY ALL! NEVER SAY I DIDN’T GIVE MY ALL!…I HAVE A F*CKING LIGHT SHOW DUMB ASS, IT’S NOT CALLED GLOW IN THE DARK FOR NO REASON SQUID BRAINS! MY PEOPLE WORKED OUT A COMPROMISED STAGE PLOT AND A 3AM TIME SLOT AND I AGREED. FAST FOWARD TO THE DAY OF THE SHOW. MY PRODUCTION MANAGER TRIED TO LOAD IN FOR 24 HOURS BEFORE I WENT ON STAGE BUT THE FESTIVAL WOULDN’T ALLOW US TO DO ANYTHING UNTILL PEARL JAM LEFT THE STAGE. PEARL JAM ENDED ONE HOUR LATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AT THAT POINT WE’RE RACING AGAINST THE SUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Read the entire thing here. And Kanye, if you’re reading this, go get a really long massage, dude. You seem, uh, a little tense.

Gossip Break: Britney’s Back With Her Babies

by (@katespencer)

All that good behavior has paid off: Britney‘s been granted more visits with her babies! [Us]

Paris loves dogs, okay? And she didn’t freak out in a pet store over a Yorkie puppy – she has 20 of them already. Jeez. [DListed]

Anne Hathaway‘s creepy money laundering ex-boyfriend has finally been arrested – which is like, every girl’s dream for her ex, right? [I'mNotObsessed]

Amy Winehouse left the hospital and started smoking again. Sigh. [WWTDD]

Michelle Williams is pissed at Heath Ledger‘s family over money. Well that didn’t take long. [ICYDK]

Nicole Richie and Mary-Kate Olsen got drunk and partied in flannel shirts. Finally, leaked pics we care about. [IDLYITW]

Watch the BET Awards Tonight

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Check the nominees for Best New Artist and Video of the Year before tuning into the BET Awards tonight at 8PM EST.

New York Like You’ve Never Seen Her Before!

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Below, check out promo shots for New York Goes to Hollywood, the new half-hour candid reality show premiering Aug. 4 at 10/9c on VH1. The show charts the quest for fame of VH1′s reality H.B.I.C. And as you can see, New York is seriously getting into her role as an ing?nue, as she wears many hats wigs and hams it up for the camera. She even found time to mug for the camera on her home turf. Is there life beyond reality TV for New York? Who knows, but certainly, she’ll need a reality show to find the answer.

But that’s not all! Below check out New York Goes to Hollywood‘s theme song, the appropriately titled “The World Should Revolve Around Me” by Little Jackie. And you can hear the entire Little Jackie album, The Stoop, now via the Leak.

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DMX Can’t Stop Getting Arrested

by (@katespencer)

Rapper DMX, who once was at the top of the music game, has been arrested AGAIN. Is he trying to break some record or just beat his personal best? He was picked up yesterday on an arrest warrant for driving on a suspended license. Aw, that’s nothing! That’s like G-rated, compared to all that dog abuse crap from last year. Maybe DMX is trying to make a comeback?

Anyway, now would be a fun time to guess how many time’s DMX’s been arrested. What do you think?

a) 3 times

b) 17 times

c) 10 times

d) all of the above

Answer under the jump!

Read more…