The tiny-bodied, big-voiced singer has apparently fallen ill with exhaustion, also known as “Starlet Virus” or “The Lindsay Lohan Disease.” Exhaustion is often an excuse given by publicists when their client is sick with something else, so all bets are on as to what is really ailing Amy. She apparently was rushed to a London hospital after some sort of incident, and is now back at home under orders to have “complete rest.” This means no more concerts for the Brit, who was scheduled to perform at the Oya Festival in Norway tonight. It also presumably means no more booze for Winehouse, whose been known to lug around a Jack Daniels bottle from time to time. Hopefully now she’s gonna give her liver a little rest too. [Image: Getty]
Forget the chihuahua – the latest and greatest trend to be embraced by the stars is their own uber-sassy mothers. And you too can have one – just grab your mom, do something super effing stupid to get her reallll mad at you (or somebody else), and then shove her into that Louis Vuitton dog carrier you bought two seasons ago and tote her around for all the world to see. These days everyone in Hollywood’s got a p*ssed off mom!
- Usher’s mom Jonetta Patton hates his new wife so much that she skipped their tiny wedding to hit up a day spa!
- Lynne Spears and her daughter Britney are feuding so bad that Brit supposedly thinks her mama has knocked boots with K-Fed to get back at her!
- And good ol’ Dina Lohan is always angry with somebody – though never her cracked out daughter. Currently she’s being sued for swindling $400,000 out of a music producer and never paying him back. Tacky, sure – but trendy!
So take off the retro sunglasses, remove your leggings and lug your mama around instead. The baggage you two have is guaranteed to make you the top trendista in your hood. [Images: Getty]
The New York Post reports that on Monday, Britney Spears crashed her car into a parked station wagon. When she exited her vehicle, she told the paparazzi, “I’m a brainiac!” As a blogger, it’s thrilling to encounter a celebrity who writes her own punchlines. Brit just keeps getting better. [New York Post]
That’s our Britney! The apparently very horny starlet dragged a bunch of her video dancers to the pool of an exclusive LA hotel, which she had opened especially for her group at 2am. The booze flowed, Brit got naked, everyone else follower her leaded, and a game of Truth or Dare ensued. Are you at all surprised by this, or that her infant sons were set to be dropped off at her house a mere 10 hours later by K-Fed? Nope. Brit got it on with one of the dancers, 21-year-old Matt Encinias, who told Us, ?I was told all she wanted to do that night was kiss a boy. And that?s what she did. Mission accomplished.?
Matt was invited back to her suite where he discovered the singer ready for more booty action. “I went in and found Britney lying on the bed with her knees up and just a pair of pink panties on, ” he said. Matt was forced to bail before he could seal the deal because he had to take care of a drunk friend, saving the world from the possibility of third Brit-spawn. Back up dancers beware! Britney’s in need of some loving and she’ll stop at nothing to get it. And if you think you can resist her sextastic ways, think again – girlfriend’s wearing fake tattoos on her nipples. Pretty. Damn. Hot. [Us Weekly, The Sun. Image: Us Weekly]
Usher: My Wedding Was Beautiful
The singer describes his tiny wedding as “beautiful and private,” and was followed by an “intimate dinner.” Did they serve drama instead of cake? [Us Weekly]
Courtney Love?s Cupcake Diet
The emaciated rocker claims she’s gained ten pounds by eating cupcakes. That sounds just as healthy as losing weight by eating nothing. [People]
Kate Hudson’s Got a New Flame
The single mom has been spotted getting cozy with funny guy and Punk’d actor Dax Shephard. We’re not totally sure who he is, but he’s hunky enough to be a big step up from Owen Wilson. [A Socialite's Life]
Oh Diddy, we could all learn a little something from you on how to be a player. Even in a pair of grey sweat-shorts you still get the ladies! The newly single star was back in the platonic arms of an old platonic flame, that enticing Brit Sienna Miller. The are they/aren’t they pair partied at the DC-10 club in Ibiza, Spain late into the night and then visited Sienna’s villa with an entourage. And you know what that means (cue sexy 70′s porno music)!
Beyonc?‘s meddling father, Matthew Knowles, is springing to his daughter’s defense over a few disparaging words. It seems that he took exception to the New York Daily News‘ review of his daughter’s show that took place this weekend at Madison Square Garden — the News‘ Jim Farber said the show left him feeling “pummeled” and compared Bey to a “bionic woman.” Though Farber’s words are hardly scathing, Matthew still found it necessary to respond, reportedly shooting off an email to the News that read:
“After over 60 dates and 20 countries, only you have chosen to write a negative review!“
First of all, he’s wrong: the review that ran in the New York Post was much more savage, saying Bey “screeched,” calling her a “snooze” during the ballads and suggesting that lip-synching would have been a preferable alternative to her “cringe-inducing” rendition of “Ring the Alarm.” Harsh! But second of all: SHUT UP, MATTHEW KNOWLES. For the most part, his story checks out — the reviews of The Beyonc? Experience have been, by and large, glowing. So a few people didn’t think so: who cares? His daughter’s been ruling pop music for almost a decade — does he really need a reminder that not everyone’s going to enjoy her work? And really, how bad can you feel for someone who could dry their tears with crisp $100 dollar bills and think nothing of it? [New York Daily News / Image credit: Getty]
Who put the idea in celebrities’ heads that we want junky products with their names and faces all over the packaging? I can’t think of anything I need less than his and her fragrances from a smelly soccer player and his bone n’ boob wife (okay – and a few things that involve medical attention). But the couple’s perfumes are on the way to the States, and “industry analysts” estimate that the ‘Intimately Beckham’ fragances (you probably just puked a little when you heard that name) and David’s other cologne, ‘Instinct by David Beckham,’ will generate $100 million in worldwide sales in this year alone. You just puked again, huh. Me too. Maybe perfume is just the start for Posh n’ Becks! Here are some other products the couple could hawk that America probably wouldn’t mine splurging on:
- Discreetly Beckham: His and Her Bikini Line Wax
- Harmoniously Beckham: His and Her New Age Relaxation CDs
- Deceitfully Beckham: His and Her Private Cell Phones and Secret Email Addresses for Stress Free Adultery [E Online. Image: Getty]
Hot Shots: Cool Pics From Celebville
Operating under the somewhat logical premise that “funk will get you laid,” Seth Rogan‘s story for the upcoming Superbad is teeming with some deep-ass grooves. Funk kingpins Bootsy Collins and Clyde Stubblefield connect with some of their old pals from James Brown‘s band to create the movie’s dirty-minded mood. Here’s a glimpse at what went down the in studio. Jump back and kiss your bad self if you start to feel it. You going to see this movie?
The official ad for Mariah Carey‘s M fragrance has hit the Net…
…and it’s sort of sad that she would have been better off going with the fake one. Note to Mariah: next time, take your cues from Schatar. Seriously — what is she supposed to be in that ad? A rock formation?
The worst thing about the ad is that it’s so eager to convince you that Mariah is younger than she is, and yet it can’t even decide on a fake age. The ad suggests that Mariah is simultaneously:
- 27 - The in-the-water motif is sooooo “My All” video, which came out about 10 years ago. It’s as though Mariah never left the water! Swimmer’s ear is so sexy and fragrant.
- 12 - No wrinkles? Ridiculously smooth skin? Summer-camp slick hairdo? Check, check, check. She’ll always be our eternally pubescent baby.
- 6 months – Her butt is smooth as a baby’s. Even worse: that Photoshop-enhanced forehead is, in a word, fetal. Are they trying to tell us that M smells like babies? I repeat: sexy and fragrant. [Mariah Daily Journal]