If this was 1988, this would be the biggest news story ever: Former Smiths frontman Morrissey (and vehement vegetarian) slammed fur-loving pop star Madonna, claiming Madge adopted her son, two-year-old orphan David Banda, in order to make a jacket out of him. ?I wouldn?t be surprised if she [Madonna] made that African boy into a coat and wore him…for 15 minutes, and then threw it away,? said the famously dyspeptic singer. In the past, Moz has gone after his own band, George Michael and David Bowie, as well as mope rock king Robert Smith. Smith famously committed to eating meat, simply because Morrissey doesn’t. Way to gather support, Moz.
Once (and future?) Destiny’s Child member Michelle Williams has leaped to the defense of Beyonc? regarding the non-issue that has arisen from TMZ.com‘s quip about "Beyonc?’s roboho performance getup" that the diva wore during last month’s BET Awards (in a nutshell, Al Sharpton lashed out at the paparazzi-driven mega-blog, saying its use of the word "ho" was racist and misogynistic). TMZ then pointed out that their "ho" branding was not in reference to Beyonc?, but her outfit. But don’t tell Michelle that! Said the warbler to the New York Daily News:
"It’s downright mean. You can write me word for word. What has Beyonc? done to deserve being called a ‘ho’? No one should be called a ho!"
Way to go, Michelle, running to stick up for a poor, defenseless superstar. How much do you want to bet that this is Michelle’s way of angling for a Destiny’s Child reunion. Or, at the very least, for another cameo in a Beyonc? video? Michelle can do the Naomi Campbell walk and the scissor-leg, but her biggest talent is her ability to do the ass-kiss. [New York Daily News]
The name of Britney’s new man has been nailed down as Daimon Shippen, who is possibly the same mustachioed security guy who helped Brit when she almost dropped Sean Preston on the street last year. X17 has some juicy tidbits on the protective giant:
- Approximately 34 years of age.
- He’s served as a production assistant on films.
- Was fired from his first bodyguard employment agency for allegedly owning a "sex toy/porn website." Uh oh…
- X17 says he "may not be into girls!" What is going on here?!
We’ve got Us saying that Daimon and Brit are definitely doing it, and a different report that reveals Britney’s boyfriend’s name is apparently Sam, and it’s not this beefcake at all! And supposedly this beefcake likes other beefcakes! We’re lost. Sounds like Brit might be too – as Children’s Protective Services visited her Malibu mansion three times last week due to her pool being unsafe for children. The visit forced the starlet to move her brood to the Four Seasons Hotel where she was spotted sobbing. It’s a good thing Brit has some big arms to hold her and a broad chest to lean on. Even if he doesn’t like girls, he’ll at least still let her cry. Cuz he’s on her payroll and really doesn’t have a choice.
Nicole: Baby?s Life in Jeopardy
Doctors say that the tiny starlet’s health and past problems with addiction could complicate her pregnancy, which is reportedly 3 months along. [Star Magazine]
Angelina?s Down to Skin and Bones
Sources reveal the A Mighty Heart star is barely eating a couple of bites of fruit per meal – if she even eats at all. [Life and Style]
Eva: Who You Callin? Bridezilla?
Though her wedding was enormous and spanned numerous days, Eva Longoria claims she didn’t stress out about her nuptials. Maybe it was all that French wine that chilled her out? [Yahoo]
Now that Paula Abdul is getting some hot booty action from her 32-year old boyfriend, she’s doing whatever it takes to stay young. Because, you know, all that "exhaustion" is wearing her out. The American Idol judge’s cure-all? Lasers. Yup, Paula is supposedly getting an "allover body procedure called the Titan laser
treatment" that leaves her looking smoother, tighter, and presumably kinda crazy. In case you can’t imagine what she looked like when she was an actual youth and not just youthful, give a watch to the above video clip of a 16-year old Paula singing her heart out in the 1978 flick Junior High School. Did someone say pitchy? [Gabsmash]
Poor little Jessica Simpson. For five years she practically begged for cameras to be on her, but now she’s mad because they’ve crashing her party. Literally. The former Newlywed got all pissy when the paps surrounded her birthday beach celebration yesterday in Malibu. E Online’s Marc Malkin says: "Simpson and five pals arrived this morning for a day at the beach. Lunch and a barbecue dinner were planned, sources tell me. But about two hours into it, as lunch was being served, more than a dozen paparazzi descended on the house."
Jess reportedly called the party off because she didn’t want her pals to endure the constant flashes from the nosy photogs. Funny, she had no problem dragging her friends in front of the cameras for her TV show back in the day. Guess Jessica learned that she can’t have her birthday cake and eat it too. [E Online]
It seems like Josh Duhamel can’t talk about his girlfriend Fergie without using the word, "hot." As a consequence, I can’t read about him talking about Fergie without throwing up. And so, to Josh’s recent assertion that, "[Fergie] would have been too hot for me in high school. I would have been intimidated by her," I say: GROSS. Seriously, Josh’s gushing reads like spin, spin, spin, but what exactly is he trying to convince us? That he really likes girls? That Fergie really is hot? Frankly, I’m still not convinced of either.
The latest development in Josh and Fergie’s steamy courtship is that she has taken up pole dancing. She’s a regular Midwest stripper, past meth addiction and all! Says Josh in next month’s Glamour:
"Fergie is taking lessons, but she won’t get on it until she knows what she’s doing, ’cause she doesn’t want to look stupid."
The woman who coined the word "Fergalicious," who promised to "get, get, get, get you drunk, get you drunk off my hump," who confessed to peeing herself on stage, doesn’t want to look stupid? Interesting. [New York Post]
When The Beatles came to America 40 years ago their visit was known as the British Invasion. Tomorrow UK superstars Victoria and David Beckham hit our shores, but judging from the photo on the right, it’ll look more like an alien invasion. Okay, okay, that’s mean. But seriously – what is going on over there? She’s all bones and boobs!
The Spice Girl and her soccer superstar husband officially move to LA this week, even though they’ve been catwalking around Hollywood for months now picking out curtains for their $22 million mansion. Posh says she’s "really, really excited" to live in America, and she’s lined up two talk show interviews, a one hour documentary special on NBC, and a magazine cover as proof. But will celeb-saturated America care? Do you? [Fox News]
Now and then our Tour Survival Guide will check in with rockers about life on the road. Here’s Brandi Carlile on putting makeup on boys, fishing and whiskey. Find out when Brandi’s playing a town near you, and buy tickets now.
Teach A Woman To Fish…
I can’t tour without a fishing pole. On days off, you can find a lake almost anywhere, and for anybody who hasn’t ever gone fishing, there really isn’t a better way to wind down whether you catch a fish or not. It’s just good to go spend a day by a lake.
Thread Counts and Highways
I also can’t live without bedding. Bus bedding is never good enough. That’s one of the only things I’m a snob about. I have to have comfortable sheets and blankets.
While LiLo was busy reading Machiavelli and saying serenity prayers in rehab, someone busted into her alleged MySpace account and released a bunch of her love letters to DJ gal pal Samantha Ronson. Right off the bat this raises a bunch of questions:
- Why do celebrities continue to communicate via MySpace?
- Do they not own various texting/calling/video chatting devices?
- Is there not an army of carrier pigeons at their beck and call waiting to deliver letters?
- Are celebrities idiots?
At least we know the answer to the last question is a resounding YES. Lindsay’s supposed messages to Samantha are mushy and dramatic (and okay, genius): "Babe," she writes, "if I don’t have you in my life then I should just go die. … I want to marry you and have children with you." In another she signs off as "Lindsay Ronson." It definitely has a nice ring to it. Go for it
LiLo LiRo! Just do it after you open a can of good ol’ Lindsay whoop ass on the person who hacked your site. [NY Daily News]