Colbert Can?t Run for Prez
The South Carolina democrats won’t let the state’s “favorite son” on the presidential ballot. We smell a write in! [DListed]
Eminem Busy with New Babe
So this is what the rapper’s been up to for the past few year’s – getting laid. [NYP]
Britney?s Ex-Manager Sues the Star
Who hasn’t Britney screwed over in the past couple of years? At least she already knows her way around the courthouse. [Us]
Jake and Reese Heat up Halloween
The actor took Reese’s two kids trick-or-treating dressed as a gorilla. It really is love, after all! [Us]
Arrest Expected at Oprah?s School
Let this be a lesson for her school’s students – and the world. Nobody messes with Oprah, b*tches. Nobody! [People]
We’ve always loved how sassy Da Brat‘s been on The Surreal Life 4 and Celebrity Fit Club, but damn she’s even spunkier in real life! The rapper was arrested early this morning in Atlanta after clocking a nightclub waitress. Holy sh*t, she’s not effing around! Apparently the two got in a fight that escalated into shoving, until Da Brat took it to the next level with a little rum-bottle-in-the-face action. The waitress ended up at the hospital and Da Brat ended up posing for this beautiful mug shot (right) and getting charged with “felony aggravated assault.” The best part is that she appears to be in some sort of Halloween costume – that yellow polka dot jacket and pink tie has gotta be more than just a quirky fashion statement, right? [Smoking Gun]
“Now and Then” finds us chatting with artists about the breadth of their careers. They explain their latest video and then comment on one of their classic clips.
In our first installment, we get cozy on the couch with the Backstreet Boys. Their new disc Unbreakable just dropped, so we dug up the dirt behind the making of the video for “Inconsolable.” Then we took a trip down memory lane with their spooktastic video for 1997′s “Everybody (Backstreet’s Back).”
Brian: This was originally supposed to be shot in a city during a solar eclipse, but we translated it to the beach. Everybody’s raving about my house in this video. It’s cool, because it’s right on the beach, but it was all concrete, and so not me. Not my style.
Britney?s New Album Reaches #1 Spot
You did it girl! Now if only some genius producers could make everything else in your life amazing too. [Us]
Owen Wilson?s Immodest Bathroom Break
Apparently the actor pees with the door open at events so no one thinks he’s inside snorting coke. Someone tell Lindsay Lohan this brilliant plan! [NYP]
Nick Cannon Crushing on Miss USA
The singer/actor dumped his fiancee and is trying to woo with the pageant winner by constantly sending her flowers, chocolates and balloons. Doesn’t he know that stalking isn’t sexy. [NYP]
Joel Madden Ready for Baby with Nicole
Aw cute, Joel’s so excited for his lil’ Richie that he’s printing tiny t-shirts for his kid. Maybe Nicole can borrow them from baby someday! [People]
Paris Getting Rich Doing Nothing
As usual, people are throwing millions at the dumb bombshell just to appear at their events. I’ll pay Paris to come to my party in a cave and tip her to stay forever. [DListed]
We can’t get enough of Kim Kardashian and Britney Spears (we have a soft spot for fake hair and fake butts), so needless to say we’ve been marveling at the dumb things they’ve both said recently that will surely come back to bite them in the ass (not that Kim needs the help). For starters, Kardashian claimed in July that her Playboy spread would “not be a nude pictorial.” She also promised that “it would be tasteful like Mariah Carey,” which is an obvious oxymoron, right? Turns out the pics rank as super classy on the Mimi scale, as they are fabulously trashy and totally nude! Oh Kim, why bother lying? We can still see all your lady-bits even through the pearl necklaces you’ve hung all over yourself. Tasteful indeed.
Meanwhile, Ryan Seacrest woke up Britney Spears at 9AM this morning to do an interview in which she proceeded to make zero sense answering questions about her kids: “my lawyers know all that;” and celebrating her new record: “we watched movies…and we had fried chicken.” Britney, who was particularly out of it (it was early, we guess) hops off the phone in the middle of the interview to go take a shower. Obviously. She does whatever she wants, even when it makes no sense. Luckily, her hanger-on pal Sam told Ryan the interview was the only thing they were doing to promote the album. It’s a good thing she’s freed up her schedule to do nothing! It’s kinda what she does best. [Images: Getty]
The cheesy songs. The creepy dad. The Proactiv commercials. The reality TV show. The shoe line, hair extension line, and bathing suit line. The slew of stupid movies. Nick Lachey. And…everything else. It makes us wonder – what is there to like about Jessica Simpson and why would Owen Wilson even want a piece?
The two have been spotted doing the usual Hollywood date and canoodle routine, and frankly we’re worried about the toll this is going to take on Owen’s fragile mental state. Perhaps one could claim that she’s just a fine piece of ass, but even her manufactured good looks are so fake it makes us seriously depressed. Listening to her tell stupid stories about that dumb dog she’s always lugging around or recounting her shopping trips to Louis Vuitton is enough to make someone want to…you know. Lip locking with Simpson is way more than just a kiss – it’s Owen self destructing! Jessica is worse for him than heroin, and – as we saw from her needy relationship with John Mayer – really hard to kick. [Image: Getty]
You make one little comment about the dude that shamed your girlfriend in front of millions, and it’s all anyone wants to talk about. At least that’s what Jermaine Dupri is experiencing above, and unleashes a curiously video-taped (and expletive laden) tirade [NSFW]. A few weeks ago, The New York Post reported that the Little Producer That Could dissed Justin Timberlake in his biography, stating JT could be “any skinny white kid from the suburbs of Orlando,” and questioning Timberlake’s star power. Now Dupri’s being called upon to answer for the remarks, and he’s none too pleased. In the clip, Dupri rails against whoever’s on the other end of the line (we’re guessing it’s directory assistance or the automated weather service), stating the whole incident is “the dumbest f*ck” and “I don’t need no f*cking press off Justin Timberlake.” Do you think Dupri is overreacting?
Robert Goulet passed away last night. The ultra suave singer/actor dominated the early 60s, wowing the world with a string of musicals. Here’s a nice bit that shows his skills. But a younger generation learned about the guy – may he rest in peace – through Will Ferrell‘s ridiculous impression on Saturday Night Live. Here’s a look that clip, too. (Language is NSFW)
Congratulations babies! You win! The judge loves you and your daddy more, and now you only have to be scared of Mommy for two days a week, from 12-7PM. Only fourteen hours of driving around in her Mercedes inhaling secondhand cigarette smoke and burger fumes. There is hope after all! Now, there is one bad side to this recent custody decision. You two will have to do one overnight each week with with your Mom. I know, I know, there are no beds for you to sleep in at her house – only giant Versace hobo purses. Awww, don’t cry Sean Preston, it’ll be okay! A parenting coach is going to be monitoring your visits while you guys are there, so you have someone to look out for you. And this lady is totally on your side! She’s already told the judge that your mom “rarely engaged with the children in either conversation or play,” and that her “choices are dependent more upon what she wants to do at any given time rather than what would be more enjoyable for the children.”
The law is on your side, Sean Preston and Jayden James! Now buckle up your car seat safety belts – you know your Mom’s gonna forget to do it again. [Getty]
Morgan Jordan’s ill-fated video for “Werewolf Bar Mitzvah” has had us chuckling since it aired on 30 Rock a few weeks ago. Then it was a 10-second snip. Now it’s a full-ass song, with lyrics about about brisket and circumcision and and fangs and claws. Would a real werewolf ever dance with his cousins?
Tell us: Who’s the most hirsute Jew in celebville?