On a recently taped episode of The Ellen Degeneres Show, Rihanna got personal about her love life, revealing that she’s not dating anyone right now (Ed. Note — DM me, BB!). RiRi then went on to draft a personals ad for Ellen, revealing what she’s looking for, “I like men that are more aggressive but mysterious but I like a man to be very sure. I like them to be sure of themselves and know that you’re the man. I’m the lady and the only way for us to make this work is for us to play our roles. You know, I can’t really be the man for you. I don’t want to have to be. I’m the man at work all the time.” Rihanna’s perfect man criteria got us to thinking, and we took the liberty of creating some personals ads for some of our favorite single stars who are so awesome they definitely shouldn’t be single.
I’m looking for someone to love me for me, because I will love you for you, and that includes all your freaky business. Sure, I’m a monster (this will bode well for you in ‘special’ moments *wink*) but so are you. At least you should be. I only date other monsters. You must be tolerant of my many hats, wigs and vertiginous shoes. If you’re so inclined, you’d be free to share these things and borrow them for your own personal use. You should be creative and boundary pushing and passionate. Our relationship will be an art work, and we will perpetuate high-culture through our love.
The first question you’re probably asking is “Who’s going to be the lead singer?” Van Hagar fans, you can stop reading now, for we’ve got some bad news: It appears that Eddie Van Halen and David Lee Roth have buried the proverbial hatchet and are ready to once again make music together. The two famously split twenty-five-plus years ago after ego clashes occurred in the wake of the massive worldwide success of 1984, and a brief reunion in 1996 also ended in acrimony. That said, the band—minus original bassist Michael Anthony—appeared to be all smiles in the reunion photo you see above, and the band is reportedly set to make a “special announcement” on November 30 at the Grammy Awards nominations concert in L.A. We’ll have more details for you as soon as they become available, but in the interim, we hope that Diamond Dave starts limbering up now and practicing his patented karate kicks.
TMZ is reporting that Bonnie Pointer, one of the founding members of the famed Pointer Sisters singing group, was arrested in Los Angeles last night on drug possession charges. According to their report, the 61-year-old Pointer was pinched by the LAPD just after midnight last night for felony possession of a controlled substance. There are no details at this moment about what the controlled substance was, but we can only hope that it wasn’t a fistful of phentermine. After all, we all know what the combination of Pointer Sisters melodies and an excessive intake of diet pills did to Saved By The Bell‘s Jessie Spano.
Besides whistling, shouting-out famous musicians in song titles seems to be all the rage this year.
Here’s how they rank:
10.) “Marvin’s Room,”Drake
This dizzying, chilled-out tune seemingly has nothing to do with Marvin Gaye, except when you discover that the song was apparently recorded in a studio used by the late-great singer, aptly named “Marvin’s Room.”
9.) “Marvin & Chardonnay,” Big Sean (feat. Kanye West & Roscoe Dash)
Another ode to Marvin Gaye, this one, however, mentions him by name in the song’s lyrics.
8.) “The Lisa Lisa/Full Force Routine,” Beastie Boys
Not so much a song as it as an outro for the Beastie’s latest album, Hot Sauce Committee, Pt. 2. Regardless, both musical acts from the 1980’s (Full Force and Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam) are curiously shouted out.
7.) “I Need A Doctor,” Dr. Dre (feat. Eminem & Skylar Grey)
Don’t call Dr. Dre conceited for name-dropping himself in his own song title; he appears in less than a minute of the actual track.
Florence + The Machine‘s cacophonous new album, Ceremonials, is anything but light, with huge, roaring vastness and a grandness reminiscent of epic movie soundtracks. The new video for “No Light No Light” matches the tone of the song to perfection, with a twisted fairytale storyline, otherworldly, dark magic at play and the dramatic attitudes of the flame-haired Florence Welch. Consuming and pervasive, the song has a certain open-endedness, as if it were constantly chasing an elusive rainbow, racing past blurs of cities and forests on a never-ending mission. This elemental sense of infiniteness is mimicked in the video, with Florence running away from an indefinable pursuer, which is where the song and the video differ — Florence’s reverent, soaring vocals suggest a race towards something, a propelling force, a search and hope, whereas the visual suggests tumult, chaos, evasion and escape from an ambiguous, phantasmal menace.
The video introduces us to three characters: Florence, the beleaguered angel, perhaps fallen from grace in her diaphanous black gown; the voodoo master, a contorting specter, haunting Florence’s every movement as a metaphor of a broken relationship; and the choir of pre-pubescent boys inside a cavernous, medieval church, offering Florence redemption. As the voodoo master torments Florence with pokes and prods, she looks out over the iconic New York skyline, before allowing herself to fall towards the street. Luckily Flo is saved by the boys’ choir, which not only catches her but holds her high above their heads in a Christ-like motif of resurrection. The intention of the video is glaring, and, like the song itself, there are no subtleties.
Look, we know the Gym Class Heroes track “Stereo Hearts” features Adam Levine, and we’re defintely fans, but the band’s performance last night on Leno with Estelle singing Levine’s parts… well… it was pretty amazing! Estelle brings a summery soulfulness to the song with her gravelly vocals, and the female voice adds an extra layer to the track — a certain mystique and romance. Not to mention how beautiful Estelle looked in a red maxi-dress (we’re sure you’d look just as pretty in a dress too, Adam!). Should Adam Levine be afraid?
Die Hard Rihanna Fans Shows Off Album Art For Talk That Talk Rihanna‘s new album, Talk That Talk, will be officially released on Monday November 21, but if you can’t wait, you can watch this die hard RiRi fan showing off the art work (read: racy pictures of Rihanna posing provocatively) that comes with the deluxe album. [Idolator]
NME Imagines What Pop Stars Would Look Like If They Joined In For “Movember”
Ever wanted to know what Lady Gaga would look like with a dirty old mo’ on face? Wonder no more, gentle reader — NME have used their Photoshop skills on your favorite stars to line their upper lips with fuzz. [NME]
Demi Lovato began her Unbroken tour last night in Detroit, and in a gossamer gown, sashaying back and forth across the stage before her screaming fans, she let it rip. While Demi didn’t necessarily have moves like Jagger—her performance lacked any sort of dancing other than the occasional sway—she did have the song, covering Maroon 5 and Christina’s Aguilera‘s upbeat number “Moves Like Jagger.” She may not have bought the moves, and the super sweet Disney princess certainly didn’t bring the sexy the way Adam Levine and Christina do, but she did belt it out with her strong, confident vocal, which in our books, totally rocks.
Oh Beyoncé! Why do you fill our work days with so many delicious videos to distract us from our jobs? With the much anticipated release of Bey’s Live At Roseland: Elements Of 4 DVD just on the horizon (the DVD will be released on November 21 exclusively at Walmart stores and online, and then worldwide on November 29), King B has gone ahead and released two live music videos for “End Of Time” and “I Was Here.” Both videos include footage of Bey performing at the Roseland Ballroom, and both have some titillating extras — most notably, the first ever images from Beyoncé and Jay-Z‘s wedding. Blink-and-you’ll-miss-it, the quick glimpse of Bey getting into her wedding dress is gasp-inducing, as all imagery from her nuptials have (until now) been famously kept under tight wraps.
While the “End Of Time” video features clips of Bey performing at Glastonbury Festival earlier this year, the “I Was Here” clip (below) has some decidedly more nostalgic footage. With footage of Beyoncé as a child, a teenager, and during the glory days of Destiny’s Child, the clip is a moving homage to Beyoncé’s full life. It’s a touching ode to the pop-star on a mission to change the world, simply by making people smile and dance, and we had to hold back a tear or two as Bey voice over the revealing imagery gave us chills.