Clay Aiken’s Four-Point Plan to Being a Dad

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clay_aikenYesterday news broke that American Idol runner-up Clay Aiken served as a sperm donor for friend and music producer Jaymes Foster. Foster, who is due in August, is the sister of David Foster, music producer and longtime friend of Aiken. We’re sure Aiken’s going to be a great dad to the little one, and able to impart tons of helpful advice that he’s picked up along the way. We’ve compiled a bit of the fatherly wisdom Aiken will surely pass on to the littlest Claymate.

Pancake, It’s Not What’s For Breakfast: Male or female, gay or straight — why limit yourself in the amount of makeup you wear out of the house? You always want to look coordinated, so why not have your face match your hair.

Feathered, Highlighted and Banged: The only thing that gets as much attention as a good haircut…is a bad one.

Creeping People Out: Sure, Clay’s probably a totally nice guy, but his songs are downright terrifying. A few lines from Clay’s hit “Invisible” will undoubtedly get the littlest Aiken whatever they want on the playground.

How To Appeal to Massive Amounts of Rabidly Dedicated 14-Year-Old Girls: Actually, we have no idea how he does this.

Hollywood’s Worst Fashion Felonies

by (@katespencer)

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In honor of the Sex and the City movie opening this weekend and the awful frocks its stars have worn in episodes of the hit HBO show, we’ve gathered the best of the worst fashion flops to ruin Hollywood this year. Not everyone can star in the greatest chick flick of our time, but you sure can dress like you’re straight out of the movie!

From the left: Sarah Jessica Parker and pals (Coco, Heidi Montag, Paris Hilton, Katie Holmes, Tyra Banks, Rumer Willis, Jenna Jameson, Anna Wintour) model their poor picks in crap couture.

Mariah Carey Throws Like a Girl

by (@katespencer)

…Or rather, a girl who’s never thrown a ball before. I mean, really – aren’t us ladies supposed to be empowering each other with our sports skills and love of math? Besides, it’s not that hard to toss a ball, especially for someone who works out 14 hours a day with some fancy trainer from St. Barts. But Mimi must maintain her delicate image! God forbid she admits to having another muscle on her besides that voice. Watch and laugh (or cry).

Ashlee Confirms She is Pregnant & Has Bad Hair

by (@katespencer)

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Okay, okay. She’s only confirmed that she’s knocked up, but we think Ashlee Simpson should also acknowledge that her red mop is f*cked up! Look at that thing! Back to baby: They’re expecting. No sh*t! Mr. and Mrs. Wentz took to Petey’s website to write the following:

“While many have speculated about this, we wanted to wait until after the first trimester to officially confirm that we are expecting our first child. This is truly the most joyous time in our lives and we are excited to share the happy news and start our family.”

Blah blah blah. Let’s hope this means that these two get sucked into parenthood and never emerge again with a new album or video about eyeliner instruction. Pretty please?? [DListed]

R. Kelly Trial Forecaster: Threesome Testimony Delayed

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R. Kelly at court in Chicago.(The VH1 Blog knows very little about the law. So we’ve solicited Mark Muro, a founder of the California law firm Muro & Lampe, Inc. to keep a running tab on which side has the advantage in the R. Kelly child pornography trial. Check back daily for updates.)

In a Hollywood-style cliffhanger, the much-anticipated testimony of one of the prosecution’s key witnesses was postponed today. The witness, a mother from Atlanta, was expected to testify that she had a threesome with R. Kelly and the alleged victim and identify both as the individuals in the sex tape. But Judge Gaughan cut proceedings short after learning of a surprise witness for the defense. Apparently, the witness contacted the defense just this morning. Expected to discredit the testimony of the Atlanta mom, the witness will arrive some time tonight in Chicago for what will surely be a long night of interviews and preparation with R. Kelly’s attorneys. Whatever information surfaces, expect the prosecution to try to bar new evidence from being admitted. If the prosecution fails, the defense may have an opportunity to break its low-scoring slump.

Read more…

Mariah Carey: Ball Girl Gone Bad

by (@katespencer)

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  • Jean shorts from Glitter era: check
  • Fake ponytail made from the hair of actual pony: check
  • Nick Cannon‘s reused engagement ring: check
  • Hooker shoes snagged from prop closet of Pretty Woman set: check
  • Shiny jacket belonging to flashy toddler: check
  • Sunglasses stolen from Jennifer Lopez in 2003: check

Looking like a ridiculous 35-year old slutty ball girl to throw the first pitch at a baseball game in Japan: Tasteless.

Ray J’s Way Into Weird Drugs

by (@katespencer)

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Ray J is desperate for his own music career, but is always overshadowed by his big sis Brandy, his sex tape partner Kim Kardashian, and his menopausal sugar mama, Whitney Houston. But finally the young star has done something to garner attention all by himself! Too bad it involves some seriously sketchy drugs. The singer was allegedly kicked out of his DC hotel this weekend, after Hyatt security received complaints about partying in his room. Spies report back that Ray J was allegedly in possession of weed and something called boat, which might be PCP? The cops didn’t press charges, but the hotel did boot Ray J after he tried to bribe the staff to let him stay. His own security hand to come haul him off! How diva-like! If only he had a career that matched his attitude.

Lil’ Kim Loves the Natural Look

by (@katespencer)

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Wow. It’s not everyday that celebs match their make up to their dress, but Lil’ Kim seems to have mastered this look! At least she went for the look at the Sex and the City movie premiere, where anything goes in the outfit department and the uglier the better. Now if only she could do something about that creepy look in her eyes.

Jessica Simpson Goes Country

by (@katespencer)

jessica-simpson-country.jpgAshlee‘s big sis has dropped her first single off her brand spankin’ new country album, and boy does it suck ya’ll! At least our little divorcee has learned a valuable less – if at first you don’t succeed, just try a different musical genre. But never fear, dear Jessica Simpson fans! If the song and subsequent country album both flop, she’ll have Tony Romo’s beefy arms to run into. The football star has taken his lady back under one condition – her dad stays out of the picture and stops messing with their relationship. Sadly, her career is another story.

Give Jessica’s new single – titled “Come On Over” – a listen and tell us what you think. Good, bad or ugly?