Their Bodies Are Wonderlands: Jess Rubs John’s Crotch While Perez Sticks His Tongue Down Mayer’s Throat?

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Menage a yuck
? Perez Hilton says that John Mayer is “bi” (we thought he was “buy” – check his Rolex fixation). The guy whose site had the new Madonna video up for an hour or so yesterday told Ryan Seacrest that “He kissed me, and I kissed him back. It was on the mouth with tongue.” The pear-shaped blogger said it happened in a New York club last year, and that the guitarist’s then-paramour Jessica Simpson, started working her honey’s crotch while Hilton smooched away.

Whether fact or fiction, it’s fun. Pop culture needs a good group grope tale once in awhile. If you could add one more horny Hollywood character to this alleged event, who would it be?

Here Comes the Beyonce

by (@katespencer)

Are you super famous and just happen to be wearing all ivory on this fine morning? If so, you might be attending the Knowles-Carter nuptials, allegedly being held today somewhere in NYC! The invite list is supposedly super small, and guests were not informed of a location. The lucky few – including Serena and Venus Williams - were instructed to wear all ivory. Uh, isn’t that the bride’s job? The rumors have only been fueled by this video posted to Kelly Rowland‘s site, of the singer and her Destiny’s Child sister Michelle Williams. The pair revealed that they were in an undisclosed location. OMG, they’re like, at the church! Video is above – please post your speculation below. We’ll gossip about this wedding until we see the pics in the tabloids and know it’s real!? [DListed]

Rolling Stones Shine At Premiere

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The Rolling Stones‘ live concert film Shine A Light opens at select theaters today. The film premiered earlier this week, and as you can see in the above clip, the AARP rockers can still charm. Working with director Martin Scorsese, the band transferred the energy of their live show to a two-hour experience in the theaters, with none of the astronomical ticket prices!

Not playing at a theater near you? You can still listen to the soundtrack for free on Rhapsody, here.

But it’s not all about the music for the band. In a recent interview, guitarist Ron Wood expressed concern for Hollywood starlets Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan. “The poor things. I’d love to help them. You’ve got to go through it to get to it. You have to experience all the lows because life is hard.” And head over to GQ if you’re in the mood to see what Keith Richards has to say about groupies and paparazzi.

Lots of fun live footage is floating around regarding the Shine a Light project. Check the sweet live take of a key Stones hit after the jump.
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Friday: Hulk Gets Frisky with a New Gal

by (@katespencer)

hulkhogan.jpgAnne Hathaway?s Shady BF Booked by Cops
Her Italian lover was busted for bouncing a bad check for $250,000. That’s almost as romantic as a gondola ride through Venice.? [Us]

Brit: Back With a Clothing Line?
Is Britney starting her own clothing line, and if so will it be covered in stains?? [DListed]

J.Lo?s Push Present Cost $2.6 Mill

Marc Anthony gave his J. Lover $2.6 million earrings as a “thank you” for popping out their twins in a luxurious hospital suite.? [DListed]

Meet the Hulk?s New Gal Pal
The Hulk moves on with a hot blond lady-friend who looks exactly like his hot blond ex-wife.? [Socialite's Life]

LaLohan to Star in N.E.R.D Vid About Cocaine
Lindsay is making a cameo about N.E.R.D’s new video for their song Every Nose, which is about LiLo’s fave vice, cocaine. I feel like her rehab friends might not approve.? [PerezHilton]

New Kids Get Back on the Block

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Yeah, people keep on fronting on the Beantown posse
But it’s time to step up to the stand
‘Cause we ain’t going out like that
Back, huh, stronger than ever, did you think we’d sever?

New Kids on the Block are living up to the lyrics of their 1990 song “Games” by reuniting after nearly 14 years. The jury has yet to assemble on whether the ’80s/’90s boy band that sold more than 70 million records is “stronger than ever.” Either way, you know that NKOTB are braced for some major fronting. In fact, let’s start it off right now by observing that they look more like “Middle-Aged Men on the Block” or even “Wall Street Executives Going to Lunch on the Block” than kids making bubblegum-pop. To the band’s credit, this reunion isn’t just about nostalgia. A brand new album is in the works and NKOTB will embark on a worldwide tour this fall. Hopefully they’ll perform “You Got It (The Right Stuff)” — only this time in their business suits. That would be a hoot!

Before and after pics after the jump.

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Tickets to Secret Stone Temple Pilots Show On Sale Now

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That’s right: ’90s alt-rock giants Stone Temple Pilots are reuniting. (You might have read something about that before.) Scott Weiland, the brothers DeLeo and Eric Kretz will announce their 2008 tour dates on Monday, April 7, at an ultra exclusive event in the Hollywood Hills — where the boys will also play a few of their hits. A select number of tickets are on sale to the event. All proceeds benefit VH1′s Save the Music Foundation, which is dedicated to restoring music education in America’s public schools. To buy tickets, visit www.vh1savethemusic.com. Otherwise, STP fans will have to wait a bit — the band’s tour kicks off on May 17 at the Rock on the Range Festival in Columbus, Ohio.

Mariah Carey Drops Some Diva-tude

by (@katespencer)

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Straight up, Mimi’s a diva. We’ve all ogled at her personal umbrella-holding escort and her episode of Cribs is a permanent save on our TiVo. Let’s be real: it’s what makes us love her even more. But could she be taking her sass a little too far? The crooner is in the UK promoting her new number one single and upcoming album, but she bailed on a radio interview – set to begin at 11AM – because “she’s not a morning person.”

Regardless, she’s still a performer, and early morning publicity chats part of the job – even if she was allegedly up until 3AM the night before. The station had already complied with every other demand Ms. Thang had laid out for them, including the accumulation of “a load of straws…because she only drinks fruit juice through a straw.” But this is the woman who just beat out Elvis Presley in the singles department – with her 18 number ones. So if she can beat the King, doesn’t that make her Queen? [Mirror]

This just in: a nice interview chat with the Z100 crew, where she addresses surpassing Elvis in the Number One singles department.

Alanis Thinks “You Oughta Know”

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You know the vitriolic anthem you love to sing along to in your car, the one that could just have easily been called “The Break-Up Song.” Now hear it performed like never before. In the above clip, Ms. Morissette makes her point in a chilling, voice-only performance. Still not clear on what precisely she’s saying? Check out our lyrics.vh1.com, where you can find the answers to all your sing-along questions.

Beyonce & Jay-Z’s Wedding: Our Predictions

by (@katespencer)

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After obtaining a marriage license earlier this week, Beyonce and Jay-Z are allegedly making it official in less than 24 hours! We’ve decided to celebrate BeyoncJay’s wedding eve with a list of predictions about their nuptials. Think we’re way off? Let us know in the comments section of this post. Though her dress is TOTES going to be House of Dereon. Trust.

Maid of Honor: Solange, obvs! Though Kelly and Michelle will be jealous, they know their place: bridesmaid city, baby!

Best Man: Kanye West, if he can handle not being the center of attention.

Location: We suspect the ceremony will be low-key and at City Hall, with a big bash at the 40/40 club.

Wedding Crashers: Damon Dash, Nas, LeToya Luckett, LaTavia Roberson, Farrah Franklin. Nothing like a few former friends to spice up the celebration. Maybe Destiny’s Child will reunite as six right on the dance floor!

Uninvited and pissed: Rihanna - there’s no way Jay’s prodigy is gonna be allowed anywhere near Beyonce’s special day. Go see a movie with “BFF” Chris Brown instead, Ri!