Gossip Break: Sex and the Fergie

by (@katespencer)

fergalicious.jpgFergie’s new song for the Sex and the City movie is crapalicious. Do you agree?? [DListed]

Good Charlotte hates Paris Hilton and wants their boy Benji to dump her bony butt. Our new fave band: Good Charlotte.? [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]

Has first daughter Jenna Bush gotten too skinny? W’s little girl marries in May.? [Jezebel]

Denise Richards new reality TV show looks really depressing.? [CelebSlam]

We’re not totally sold on Kanye‘s fashion sense, though he clearly is.? [Concrete Loop]

Mimi Turns Empire State Building Pink

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Tomorrow evening, New York City is honoring hometown girl Mariah Carey by lighting up the Empire State Building lavender, pink and white (of course) to celebrate her latest chart-topping album E=MC2. For the entire weekend, the New York landmark will be lit up to celebrate the number one selling female artist of all time. We got to thinking about some other monuments that could be tweaked to honor Mimi. Take the jump to find out what else should get Mariah’d.

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American Idol: Carly Booted From Great White Way

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After Tuesday?s train wreck, how would the six Idol hopefuls fare? The musical theater songs of Sir Andrew Lord Webber, as the judges rightly noted, are more complex than most of the pop hits the contestants have so far taken on; the bigger voices carried the night, and the more musically adept performers seemed closest to making it to the next round. But how would America vote?

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Amy Winehouse Really Wants to Go to Jail

by (@katespencer)

amy.jpgWon’t someone please just arrest Amy Winehouse? It’s clearly what she wants in life, more than her husband, a hit album, Grammys, and her health. Last night Wino was out in foggy London-town getting hammered at a pub, and ended her night head-butting a fellow bar patron who was trying to hail her a cab home. She also allegedly punched another customer, did drugs in the street, made out with her male companion and overturned tables in the pub. A spy even claimed that Amy was screaming, “I am a legend, get these people out. I want to take drugs.”

Officers are now officially investigating the incident(s), and Amy could very well be charged and arrested. So please, Scotland Yard, come on over and round up your girl. It’s what she wants most in this world. [The Sun]

J. Lo to Pimp Babies on Reality Show

by (@katespencer)

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J.Lo has millions upon billions of dollars from her perfume, clothing line and oh yeah – that acting and singing career she once had. So why the hell does she need – much less want – to do a reality TV show about motherhood? The TLC show is already in production and will document Lope’z daily struggles to juggle motherhood – ie: yelling at the nannies – with the launch of her new perfume. ?I?m looking forward to sharing this exciting journey together,? says the momzilla. Yes, sharing the journey with a handful of viewers and the 40 servants who will really do all the “work” on the show will be SO exciting!

  • The amount J.Lo rakes in for her reality TV stint: $1.2 million (just a guess)
  • Screwing up your baby twins forever on national TV: priceless [People]

Miley to Make Millions for Book About Boring Life

by (@katespencer)

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We are all about autobiographies when the author has something to say – Bill Clinton, Ben Franklin, Rosie O’Donnell – these are important people with true tales that explode off the page. But a 15 year-old Disney Channel star? What the hell has she done that’s print-worthy? Apparently someone thinks her life events will garner Harry Potter-esque attention, and has offered Miley over $1 million to spill her beans on paper. Because her life thus far has presumably been extraordinarily uneventful, the book will mostly talk about how great her relationship is with her mom. ‘”I am so excited to let fans in on how important my relationship with my family is to me,” the Hannah Montana star said in a statement Tuesday. “I hope to motivate mothers and daughters to build lifetimes of memories together and inspire kids around the world to live their dreams.”‘

Interesting, that sounds a lot like another autobiography we once loved about a Disney star and her mom BFF – maybe Miley should ask Britney how life turned out after her book Britney Spears’ Heart to Heart? We’ve decided to go ahead and do the work for Miley, and are pitching the above book and below chapters as a great place to start. So what if she’s done next-to-nothing in her short time on earth – it can still be a juicy read, right?

Miley Cyrus: My G-Rated Life

  • Chapter 1: I Was Born, Just Like You!
  • Chapter 2: Thoughts on Red Lobster, My Favorite Restaurant
  • Chapter 3: How To Take Pics of Yourself for Your MySpace Page That are Skanky But Not Slutty
  • Chapter 4: Skirts! The Long and Short of my Favorite Garmet
  • Chapter 5: My Parents – Why I Love Them!
  • Chapter 6: My Parents – Why I Will Hate Them Soon
  • Chapter 7: Virginity is Awesome – For Now
  • Epilogue: Things Fall Apart (Eventually)

American Idol: Idols Give Regards, and A Few Other Things, to Broadway

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After a season of intentionally provoking our contestants into the most deliciously awkward, humiliating and shameful of situations, the producers of Idol have clearly lost all sense of restraint. On last night?s American Idol, the songs of musical theater composer Andrew Llloyd Webber served as the ?music of the night.? Throughout the season, anecdotes and baby pictures have painted pictures of our contestants? childhoods. Tonight we learned who had friends in middle school (Brooke, Carly and Jason Cook), and who spent most of afternoons organizing collections of Broadway revival programs (Syesha Mercado, David Cook). While Carly, Jason and Brooke all seemed reluctant about the theatrical challenge of this campy composer, Cook, Archuletta and Mercado were clearly up to the challenge.

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Mariah On Leona: No Similarity

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Though Mariah Carey topped the charts this week with her latest E=MC2, she may be feeling the heat from the new batch of talented singers, particularly Leona Lewis, who occupies the number two slot after dominating the charts last week. Mimi?s been asked about the similarities, and as you can see from the photo above, they do bear more than a slight resemblance.

In an interview, Mariah responded to the constant comparisons that have plagued her for the length of her twenty-year career, and also to Ms. Lewis specifically. “Honestly, there has been so many, this is the new her, and I’m like, OK, show me the new her?I’m not particular talking about this girl Leona, because I only heard her once and I didn’t really hear a true similarity, particularly in the style of music.”

Sounds like Ms. Mimi?s a bit defensive there. She went on to say that she prays to lose ?the spirit of jealousy.? We bet knocking Leona out of the chart?s top spot helps with that, but as for her ?no similarity? claim, really, Mariah? Not the hair? Not the young age you both started at, the multi-octave voice or the fact that you came up in difficult circumstances? OK, Mims. Whatever you say.

Wednesday: Bey & Jay Confirm What You Already Knew

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jay_beyonce.jpgMariah Says No To Babies
The Butterfly-loving chart-topper isn’t interested in having kids. Probably best for someone who considers herself “eternally 12.” [NYD]

Bey & Jay Confirm What You Already Knew
The first couple of hip-hop filed their marriage license. In Scarsdale. Jay then caught the 5:17 back to the city to play racquetball. [People]

Paris & Benji: Two Months and Counting!

The terrible twosome have made it through eight weeks already. They celebrated with dinner, a movie, and laser tag [Ed: WTF?]. [People]

Natalie Portman Gets Pissed [On]
Check out the bitch who did it. [Huffington Post]