Lynne Bashes Brit’s “Dark Period”

by (@katespencer)

Ohhhh, this one will be a perfect follow up to the Madonna book! Lynne will document the family drama in her new tell-all, titled “Through the Storm: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World.” Aren’t the Spears still IN the storm? A rep for the Christian publishing company releasing the book says, “Lynne begins by telling the story of her own family. She’s going to go into it.” Oh goodie! Perhaps we can make a few requests about the things we want her to get into! [Us]

  • What’s up with Britney’s favored messy bun-ponytail hairdo?
  • Why did Lynne let Brit wear a denim dress that one time?
  • Did K-Fed’s breath smell like pot all the time?
  • Does Brit know her kids’ names?
  • Doesn’t it kinda suck when Britney buys a really expensive Mercedes and then ruins it by spilling Cheetos everywhere?
  • Is there vodka in all those Frappucinos?
  • On a scale of creepy to really motherf*cking creepy, just how creepy was that creep Sam Lutfi? Creep.
  • Which daughter does Lynne like better: Brit or Jamie-Lynn?
  • Seriously, it’s Jamie-Lynn, right?

Usher Dishes On Dumping His Momager

by (@katespencer)

So Usher wants you all to know that he certainly did NOT fire his mama/manager Jonetta Patton, and it most definitely was not because his wife Tameka didn’t want her around. In an interview with Vibe, Usher set the story straight: “I decided to not fire, not get rid of, but to give [my mother] the ultimate compliment ? to retire her to be a full-time grandmother.” He added, “My mother and I decided to change her situation, together. There was a conversation. I didn’t write her a letter or pink slip her.”

This still sounds fishy to us – we’re calling cover up! He of course then went on to gush over his lady love, saying, “The swagger I possess now definitely comes from my wife. And my son completes me. He changes my perspective on what life is, and what matters.”

Blah blah blah. When did Usher get so peaceful and zen? We want some drama, but no way does Tameka let her man go there.

50 Cent Demands Rent on Ruined House

by (@katespencer)

It would really suck to be 50 Cent‘s baby mama. One minute you’re fleeing your house as it’s engulfed in flames, and the next minute you’re being forced to pay rent on the leftover ashes. A judge has forced Shaniqua Tompkins to pay $4500 in unpaid rent on the ruined mansion. The former couple is locked in a legal battle over a breach of contract suit, and when the judge learned that Tompkins has refused to pay rent since May, she demanded: “She better pay it by the end of the week. Do you understand?”

Fiddy’s ex tried to win over the court’s sympathy, stating that “We lost everything. All we have is the clothes we jumped out of the window with.” But after learning that she was getting $6,700 – which includes money to rent a new place – the judge ruled with the uber-rich rapper.

Even though this pic of 50 with the Kartrashian sisters has nothing to do with this story, we had to post it anyway. BFFs!

Madonna’s Bro Rats Her Out for Cash

by (@katespencer)

The reigning queen of pop’s brother is ready to sell out his sister for some cold hard dough. Madonna‘s brother Christopher Ciccone is working with a British writer on a tell-all that’s been described as “extremely graphic and devastating.” Chris, who is gay, used to be M’s right-hand man, but she dropped him after hooking up with Guy Ritchie, who’s been described as “uncomfortable around queens” by Madge pal Rupert Everett. The book’s due out next month, so we hope Madonna does something ridiculous to draw attention away from the tell-all. Maybe she could adopt a 20-something blogger from NYC and bring her to live with Lourdes, Rocco and lil’ David in London?? [NYP]

Gossip Break: Usher’s Got a Wandering Eye

by (@katespencer)

Mel and Brit Brit have a BFF dinner sesh in Beverly Hills. Is she starring in Braveheart 2? [DListed]

Donald Trump may be loaded, but he can’t afford proper hair. Karma rules! [Seriously? OMG!]

Mariah Carey is ridiculously rich, but she still wants peeps to buy her wedding presents. That’s how divas do it, ya’ll. [Crunk+Disorderly]

Mark Ronson agrees: Limantha is the raddest couple evah. [ICYDK]

Usher has a hard time staying faithful to his wife. Confessions! [ConcreteLoop]

Someone should tell Kate Hudson that no one cares who she is dating. [I'mNotObsessed]

Don’t Give Jessica Simpson Any More Cash

by (@katespencer)

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Ugh. Jessica Simpson has finally figured out that her singing/acting/hardly wearing any clothing career is fizzling, so she’s continuing to sell new products in order to fund her Louis Vuitton habit. She’s hawked shoes, fake hair, edible make up, bags, and bathing suits. Next up – lingerie, which we imagine will represent the blond’s lust for tacky fashion. Jessica Simpson?s Intimates will launch in Spring 2009, and we beg of you – DON’T BUY IT! We don’t need to give JSimps another reason to stick around.

Timberlake Shows Off His Sh*tty Personality

by (@katespencer)

I have no idea who Chuck the Movie Guy is (should I?) and judging from this one video he seems like a bit of a tool, but he’s nowhere near as big of a jerk as Justin Timberlake! Watch and cringe as Chuck asks stupid question after stupid question, while JT gets more and more pissed off at the interview. You’d think with all the millions Justin’s making he could pimp his new flick without getting pissy. Guess not.

In conclusion, my heart goes out to Jessica Biel, who has to date this douche. He seems like a real barrel of laughs.

Queen Latifah’s Hearing Wedding Bells

by (@katespencer)

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Fun with rumors time! Queen Latifah is allegedly planning on marrying her supposed longtime girlfriend Jeannette Jenkins this summer, after gay marriage is legalized in California. The only problem is that Queen’s never come out – about her sexuality or her relationship with Jenkins – so all we can do is speculate (and we do it well). The National Enquirer says that the couple is “?planning an intimate ceremony with close family and friends.? Latifah has said she would like to adopt a child, particular an American baby, and this may be the first step toward showing her commitment to Jeannette and to providing a stable home life.?

Last year Queen bought Jeannette a new Range Rover, which she had delivered as a surprise during a lunch out. Will she surprise her “trainer” this year with a diamond ring? Stay tuned! [Bossip]

Phew! Diddy is Still Diddy – The World is Right Again

by (@katespencer)

Diddy is all pissed off about the “news” yesterday that he had changed his name back to Puff Daddy. Guess what, he didn’t – and we’re all fools for caring. Thanks, P Didds! Watch this video for a couple of heartfelt messages from the one and only Sean John:

1. VOTE on November 4th (we’re down!).

2. He’s rich, b*tch. His words, not ours.

Gossip Break: Kanye’s the Best 31-Year-Old EVER

by (@katespencer)

kanye-west-bday.jpgWino‘s main man Blake plead guilty to assaulting a dude in a pub. He’s also guilty of being a massive tool.? [DListed]

Tori Spelling is about to pop her second kid out right now! Whee.? [Seriously? OMG!]

Happy 31st Birthday Kanye! We’re sure it was the best bash June 8 had ever seen.? [Concrete Loop]

Taylor Swift is obsessively neat. And hot! Nice combo.? [ICYDK]

?Sam Ronson and Alicia Keys will be performing at Nicole Richie‘s wedding to Joel Madden. As if we weren’t already jealous enough of her sweet life. Grrr.? [PopCrunch]