Rihanna on Chris: “Like Brother and Sister!”

by (@katespencer)

Why won’t these two just admit that they’re dating? We’ve all seen them cuddling in a pool, and everyone knows that in Hollywood if you cuddle, you’re like practically married. Celebs are crazy like that! But RiRi is refusing to admit that she’s got a man. She told MTV this weekend that she and Chris Brown are seriously, for REALS, just pals. “I won’t say that we’re just friends ? me and Chris are really best, best friends,” Rihanna cooed. “We both started our careers around the same time. He is one of the only people in the industry … I trust and hang out with all the time. We are best friends, honestly, like brother and sister. If he was a boyfriend, I would say that.”

Chris echoed her sentiments, asserting, “They keep asking me, ‘What’s the deal?’ I’m like, ‘There’s no deal. No deal.’ We’re just friends.”

FINE! You say there’s no deal, we say you two are passionately in love. We’re all just gonna have to agree to disagree on this one.

PETA to Britney: Come Work for Us!

by (@katespencer)

britneyspears-fur.jpg

The animal rights organization PETA has asked Britney Spears, notorious fur-lover and tiny dog hoarder, to come work at their headquarters for a day as a receptionist. Apparently her blink-and-you’ll-miss-it gig on How I Met Your Mother has inspired PETA head Ingrid Newkirk to bury the hatchet with the pop star. In an open letter published on the group’s blog, she writes:

“After seeing your excellent performance on How I Met Your Mother, PETA would like to offer you a real job as a receptionist. It could be for as little as an hour, and you would see?from the inside?why we are so concerned about issues like fur and homeless dogs and cats. As a “thank you” for your willingness to learn and help, we would donate $1,000 to a children’s charity.”

Chill out PETA. Brit isn’t ever going to “tell people about the misery that foxes, chinchillas, and other animals suffer on fur farms,” because her wardrobe depends on that misery! And without fur, what would cover up her stained dresses and her nipple slips? Seriously, what is more important – the life of innocent animals or the hiding of Brit’s vag behind a fur coat?! Yeah, we thought so.

Barack or Hillary? 50 Cent Flip-Flops

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50cent.jpg50 Cent can’t seem to make up his mind. The rapper’s brain, apparently, is a microcosm of the Democratic Party’s nomination process. MTV News reports that 50 was originally for Hillary Clinton, telling Fox News, “I just think she’d do a good job. There’s nothing bad about Obama in my eyes either, but I just think Hillary would be my choice.” But after listening to Obama’s speech on race, the MC changed his tune: “He hit me with that he-just-got-done- watching-Malcolm X, and I swear to God, I’m like, ‘Yo, Obama!’ . . . I’m Obama to the end now, baby!”

Well, as S.E. Hinton says, that was then, this is now. These days, 50 is more confused. “To be honest, I haven’t been following that anymore,” he told MTV News. “I lost my interest. I listened to some of the debate and things that they were saying, and I just got lost in everything that was going on . . . . Don’t look for my vote, for me to determine nothing on that. Just say, ’50 Cent, he don’t know, so don’t ask Fiddy.’” He continued, “I just think there’s people that might not be ready for an African-American president. It’ll be an issue, believe it or not.”

Those of you who remember how effectively the Republican smear campaign worked against John Kerry — another notable flip-flopper — must be hoping 50 sticks to music. After all, he already lost that one race to Kanye West. Looks like somebody’s just not fit for politics.

Tuesday: Jess’ Hot Hospital Stay

by (@katespencer)

jessicasimpson.jpgJamie-Lynn Flaunts her Ring, Baby Bod
Brit’s sister is not only engaged, she’s looking super hot! Baby weight never looked so good.? [DListed]

Audrina Can?t Stop Getting Naked
Enjoy these recent NSFW nudies pics of everyone’s favorite spaced out Hills star.? [Egotastic]

Lauren Conrad Defends her Boy Obsessions
LC sticks up for herself and her boy-crazy ways. We don’t care what she says – her Brody obsession speaks for itself!? [Us]

Jessica Simpson Stuck in Hospital
Big sister Simpson was hospitalized this week with a kidney infection. Feel better – we hope Tony brings you some chicken soup.? [Us]

Comeback Alert! Brit Back with Ex-Manager
Brit allegedly made amends with her former manager Larry Rudolph. Is she serious about this comeback or just mending her burned bridges?? [Ok!]

Can’t Anyone Put the Axl Back Into Velvet Revolver?

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guns-n-roses.jpgLooks like the halcyon days of John Varvatos camaraderie are over. The increasingly internecine relationship between Velvet Revolver and their red-headed lead singer, Scott Weiland, has come to a breaking point. Speaking to the NME, Slash explained that “There will be a third album . . . . We don’t know how or when but the core four guys will continue.” This comes after Weiland announced that the band might never tour again, and Velvet Revolver’s subsequent in-fighting hit the Internet. Idolator has a list of replacements for Slash and company (Rod Stewart! Yeah!), and, in not-unrelated news, Weiland is heading up the Stone Temple Pilots reunion tour this summer. Yay. [Ed.: Yay?]

Elsewise, Dr. Pepper issued a challenge last week to reclusive former Velvet Revolver singer Axl Rose, explaining that the soft-drink company would give a free can of Dr. Pepper to every American (with the exception of guitarists Buckethead and Slash), should Guns N’ Roses’ long-delayed, Howard Hughes-soap-opera-esque album Chinese Democracy see the light of day in 2008. Denying any involvement in the promotion, Axl explained that he found the offer flattering and that he’d share his fizzy beverage with Buckethead. Ouch, right? But also whatever. Look, Axl, if Velvet Revolver is missing a lead singer, we can’t think of another redhead who qualifies better than you. Can no one get Guns N’ Roses — the real Guns N’ Roses — back together? Please? We have an inkling that people would rather see even the worst, loosest, 20-minute-long version of “Coma” as played by Axl, Slash, Duff, Matt and that other guy than a tight “Interstate Love Song” performed by Weiland, the DeLeo brothers and that other guy. Just an inkling, though.

American Idol: David Cook Covers . . . Chris Cornell?

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cornell.jpgLast Tuesday night, American Idol contestant David Cook gave a rousing — if also melancholic — rendition of Michael Jackson’s “Billie Jean.” While that’s not exactly news in itself, the judges’ comments were. The trio praised Cook for his originality in rearranging the composition. The trouble is that Cook was covering Chris Cornell‘s version of the song as it appeared on the latter’s second solo album, Carry On — as was clearly stated by Ryan Seacrest before Cook began performing. The Seattle rock luminary and former Soundgarden frontman reinterpreted the Thriller classic as a much darker song; Cook followed Cornell’s version note for note. (Cornell’s version has seen a massive sales jump on iTunes in the days since.) We caught up with Cornell to ask him about what he thought of Cook’s version.

VH1: Your fans seemed to be outraged with David Cook. Can you talk about their response?
Chris Cornell:
They were angry because they felt like the judges were giving David Cook credit for coming up with the idea — reinventing the song in a rock format — and didn’t seem to know that it was taken from somewhere else.

Read more…

Free Radio: Lance Apologizes For His Insensitivity

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VH1?s spoof show features Lance Krall as a dimwitted radio host who has some infuriating opinions and isn?t shy about expressing them. He also has a weekly blog here where he discusses his innermost thoughts. In this, the final episode, Lance offers an apology to an old friend for lying to him and getting him into so much trouble he wound up in a home in a home for juveniles. Oops.

Free Radio Show Page

Mayer: Philosophical Sports-Casting Cluck

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You may know him as a bluesmeister, sexpot, or clown. But as his blog currently suggests, John Mayer is a thoughtful dude, too. In one of his first posts since dumping his entire library a couple months ago, he waxes eloquently about his generation’s self-obsession and self-doubt. Evidently he wrote it while “traveling alone in Japan,” a place that’s nudged him into a psychological spot one of my wise workmates deemed his “Lost in Translation moment.”

But don’t fret, all these deep thoughts haven’t stymied his sillybone, as you can see from the fuzzy commentary he uses to describe America’s pastime in the clip above. That is him, isn’t it?

And what would you do if he turned into Bret Michaels?

George & Elton Don’t Let the Sun Go Down

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Today we’ve dug through our vaults for your viewing pleasure, and came up with this oldie but goodie. Not only does it feature Mr. George Michael belting out an Elton John tune, “Don’t Let the Sun Go Down On Me,” it also features Elton himself. Check out the clip to see the two dueting live, and be sure to give TwentyFive, George’s brand-spanking-new disc, out next Tuesday.

Friday: LiLo Finally Lands a Movie Role

by (@katespencer)

lindsay.jpgLindsay Lohan?s a Manson Girl
Our little rehabber finally gets a part – as one of Charlie Manson’s followers. Hey – it’s better than nothing, right?? [People]

Ashlee Simpson Launching Clothing Line
The younger Simpson will be “designing” yet another celeb fashion line that we won’t be buying.? [People]

Is There a Hills Movie on the Horizon?
LC alleges that it’s been discussed, which can only mean it will beat out Sex and the City for the title of “cheesiest chick flick ever.”? [Us]

Pete Doherty Loves Xenu
The rocker has apparently become hooked on Scientology. Could he be the British Tom Cruise?? [TheSun]

Paris Hilton Takes Turkey by Storm
There she is – America’s charitable sweetheart giving over her time to judge beauty pageants around the globe.? [DListed]