Madonna’s Bro Rats Her Out for Cash

by (@katespencer)

The reigning queen of pop’s brother is ready to sell out his sister for some cold hard dough. Madonna‘s brother Christopher Ciccone is working with a British writer on a tell-all that’s been described as “extremely graphic and devastating.” Chris, who is gay, used to be M’s right-hand man, but she dropped him after hooking up with Guy Ritchie, who’s been described as “uncomfortable around queens” by Madge pal Rupert Everett. The book’s due out next month, so we hope Madonna does something ridiculous to draw attention away from the tell-all. Maybe she could adopt a 20-something blogger from NYC and bring her to live with Lourdes, Rocco and lil’ David in London?? [NYP]

Gossip Break: Usher’s Got a Wandering Eye

by (@katespencer)

Mel and Brit Brit have a BFF dinner sesh in Beverly Hills. Is she starring in Braveheart 2? [DListed]

Donald Trump may be loaded, but he can’t afford proper hair. Karma rules! [Seriously? OMG!]

Mariah Carey is ridiculously rich, but she still wants peeps to buy her wedding presents. That’s how divas do it, ya’ll. [Crunk+Disorderly]

Mark Ronson agrees: Limantha is the raddest couple evah. [ICYDK]

Usher has a hard time staying faithful to his wife. Confessions! [ConcreteLoop]

Someone should tell Kate Hudson that no one cares who she is dating. [I'mNotObsessed]

Don’t Give Jessica Simpson Any More Cash

by (@katespencer)

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Ugh. Jessica Simpson has finally figured out that her singing/acting/hardly wearing any clothing career is fizzling, so she’s continuing to sell new products in order to fund her Louis Vuitton habit. She’s hawked shoes, fake hair, edible make up, bags, and bathing suits. Next up – lingerie, which we imagine will represent the blond’s lust for tacky fashion. Jessica Simpson?s Intimates will launch in Spring 2009, and we beg of you – DON’T BUY IT! We don’t need to give JSimps another reason to stick around.

Timberlake Shows Off His Sh*tty Personality

by (@katespencer)

I have no idea who Chuck the Movie Guy is (should I?) and judging from this one video he seems like a bit of a tool, but he’s nowhere near as big of a jerk as Justin Timberlake! Watch and cringe as Chuck asks stupid question after stupid question, while JT gets more and more pissed off at the interview. You’d think with all the millions Justin’s making he could pimp his new flick without getting pissy. Guess not.

In conclusion, my heart goes out to Jessica Biel, who has to date this douche. He seems like a real barrel of laughs.

Queen Latifah’s Hearing Wedding Bells

by (@katespencer)

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Fun with rumors time! Queen Latifah is allegedly planning on marrying her supposed longtime girlfriend Jeannette Jenkins this summer, after gay marriage is legalized in California. The only problem is that Queen’s never come out – about her sexuality or her relationship with Jenkins – so all we can do is speculate (and we do it well). The National Enquirer says that the couple is “?planning an intimate ceremony with close family and friends.? Latifah has said she would like to adopt a child, particular an American baby, and this may be the first step toward showing her commitment to Jeannette and to providing a stable home life.?

Last year Queen bought Jeannette a new Range Rover, which she had delivered as a surprise during a lunch out. Will she surprise her “trainer” this year with a diamond ring? Stay tuned! [Bossip]

Phew! Diddy is Still Diddy – The World is Right Again

by (@katespencer)

Diddy is all pissed off about the “news” yesterday that he had changed his name back to Puff Daddy. Guess what, he didn’t – and we’re all fools for caring. Thanks, P Didds! Watch this video for a couple of heartfelt messages from the one and only Sean John:

1. VOTE on November 4th (we’re down!).

2. He’s rich, b*tch. His words, not ours.

Gossip Break: Kanye’s the Best 31-Year-Old EVER

by (@katespencer)

kanye-west-bday.jpgWino‘s main man Blake plead guilty to assaulting a dude in a pub. He’s also guilty of being a massive tool.? [DListed]

Tori Spelling is about to pop her second kid out right now! Whee.? [Seriously? OMG!]

Happy 31st Birthday Kanye! We’re sure it was the best bash June 8 had ever seen.? [Concrete Loop]

Taylor Swift is obsessively neat. And hot! Nice combo.? [ICYDK]

?Sam Ronson and Alicia Keys will be performing at Nicole Richie‘s wedding to Joel Madden. As if we weren’t already jealous enough of her sweet life. Grrr.? [PopCrunch]

Diddy Desperate for Attention, Changes Name Back to Puff Daddy

by (@katespencer)

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OMG everyone. Diddy Sean John Puffy Puff Daddy is BACK! Who cares, right? Well, Diddy does. He’s reclaimed his former monniker via a rap on the “Check Your Coat” remix by his ex-stylist O’Neal McKnight. “They call me Puff Daddy… he’s back,” says Diddy, announcing the official name change. He then took to his Myspace to plug to song and reiterated the return of the Puff, writing, “This is your boy Puff Daddy!!! Yes Puffy Daddy, the King of the Remix…”

Meh. We like the King of Desperation better.

Snoop Wants Beyoncizzle to “Make Some Babies”

by (@katespencer)

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“I told them to go home and make babies.”

Yep, that’s the always wise Snoop Dogg, on his instructions for Beyonce and Jay-Z‘s post-wedding life. The guy’s been married for-like-EVER (ten years, three kids!), so he should know. He also offered this tidbit of advice on how to make your nuptials last: “Communication, and being able to fight and get back up. To have misunderstanding and [then] get some understanding.”

For shizzle, dawg. [People]

Spencer & Heidi Scare Adults AND Little Kids!

by (@katespencer)

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Your favorite freak show, Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, showed up at the ‘A Time for Heroes’ Celebrity Carnival, and they spent their time cuddling with that creepy purple dinosaur Barney and sitting on tiny children in a ferris wheel booth. That poor little girl is afraid of being smothered by plastic. Though it looks as if Spencer and Heidi are all sugar and candy and everything sweet and nice, we’re pretty sure it’s just a front. Perez Hilton reported today that the pair were spotted buying guns “for Heidi’s protection.” Spencer Pratt can barely control his mouth – just think of the harm he could do with a real weapon!

We’ve got more pics of the terrible twosome, as well as The Hills gals, Khloe Kardashian, Mischa Barton and Nicole Richie. Click!