The Weekly Wrap Up: Heidi Cried, Gary Wed, Rihanna & Jay-Z Got Pissy in Public

by (@katespencer)

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X-Tina Dishes on her Issues Down There

by (@katespencer)

mamachristina.jpgUgh. Dump this quote in the Too Much Info zone and leave it there, please. New mom Christina Aguilera posed for some pics with baby Max and her hubby Jordan for Hello magazine and then talked wayyyyy too much about her decision to have a C-section. Stomach this:

I didn’t want any surprises. Honestly, I didn’t want any [vaginal] tearing. I had heard horror stories of women going in and having to have an emergency C-section [anyway]. The hardest part was deciding on his birthday. I wanted to leave it up to fate, but at the same time I was ready to be done early!”

Blergh. Christina also revealed that Jordan taped the entire thing, and that she cried when she first heard Max cry after giving birth. They were probably just tears of joy that came on after she realized that her vag was rip-free. Max is gonna LOVE it when kids at school dig up this interview and post it all over whatever social network they’re using in the future. Nice one, Mom.

Look Out – Lusty Linds Is On the Prowl!

by (@katespencer)

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They say that addicts often replace one vice with another, and it appears Lindsay Lohan has dumped her drug lust for men. The “actress” is back on the club scene, and she was spotted on Tuesday night attempting to get someone – anyone – to pay attention to her. The starlet first attempted to get Entourage star Adrian Grenier to dance with her, but her moves were negged with his date showed up. She then made a beeline for notorious man-whore Leonardo DiCaprio, who was hanging with Grenier’s co-star Kevin Connelly. “She was very flirty with Leo,? said a fellow club-goer. ?But he wasn?t saying much to her.?

The guys bolted from the club and Lindsay was left alone with just her posse of girlfriends to grind with. But never fear, our heroine was seen drowning her woes in vodka and champagne. Maybe booze makes a better boyfriend? [NYDN]

Beyonc?’s Beef with Aretha Gets Nasty

by (@katespencer)

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Uh oh, Aretha Franklin is p*ssed off at the Grammys and Beyonc?, and now B’s dad is getting into the mix and firing back at Re! Seriously, these divas love to duel, no matter their age. Here’s the deal: after Beyonc? introduced Tina Turner as “the queen” during the awards show, Aretha – known as the Queen of Soul – got her granny panties all up in a twist. “I am not sure of whose toes I may have stepped on or whose ego I may have bruised between the Grammy writers and Beyonc?,” she said. “However I dismissed it as a cheap shot for controversy.”

Um, okay. We have a feeling – if we may say so Ms. Franklin – that no one was trying to diss you, they were just trying to give Tina some much-deserved praise. Beyonc?’s dad agrees with us, and he weighed in yesterday. “Something this ridiculous ? it’s childish, it’s unprofessional. And it’s a sad day when egos get bruised because somebody used the word king, queen, prince or princess.”

So much for R-E-S-P-EC-T! Guess you gotta give it to get it, these days. Whose side are you on – your girl B’s or your Queen’s?

A Baby Sings The Beatles

by (@katespencer)

It’s Friday, which means it’s the perfect day to enjoy this video of a tiny baby holding a guitar and busting out The Beatles song “Hey Jude.” We have no idea how the kid, named Hero, has such a good grasp on the lyrics at such a young age, but it’s a pretty solid rendition coming from someone still in diapers. Most importantly, it’s straight up adorable. Enjoy.

Friday: Ashley’s Authentic Breasts

by (@katespencer)

ashleytisdale.jpgAshley Tisdale: Keeping Her Small Boobs, For Now
A fake nose is enough plastic for this pop tart, thank you very much! [Us]

Nelly Furtado?s Not Knocked Up
What, just because J. Lo does something, everyone has to do it? [Us]

Bai Ling Babbles Online About Arrest
The actress’ heart “feels sad” after being busted for stealing mags from an airport shop. [Us]

Pam Strips for Paris
America may be sick of her, but Paris (the city, not the skank) loves Pam, who performed a striptease at the infamous Le Crazy Horse saloon. [People]

Madonna?s Directorial Debut Dissed
The singer’s new film is getting bashed by critics. When is she gonna realize that movies just ain’t her thing? [NYDN]

Heidi Cried Over Crappy Video

by (@katespencer)

heidicries.jpgPoor little Heidi from The Hills lost it when she discovered people on the internet were saying mean things about her budget music video for her song “Higher!” Has she just now discovered what the world wide web is all about? The wannabee singer claimed that she “started sobbing uncontrollably,” after discovering the disses, and cried herself to sleep. There is a very simple solution to all of this – don’t put garbage on the web. Stop posing for staged pictures on the beach in nothing but a string bikini. Don’t get “engaged” to your devil boyfriend on a reality TV show. Don’t make a PG-rated sex tape and stick it up on the internet. Easy!
Heidi claims the video was just a spur of the moment thing. “We did it in one take, maybe two, and it took us 20 minutes to film and cost us zero dollars,” she said. That right there is a sign to never show it to anyone, ever. Hopefully the plastic princess has learned her lesson and will find a way to make it big without big mistakes. After all, she’s “just a 21-year-old from a small town in Colorado trying to follow her dreams.”? [Us]

Brit’s Sis Already a Bad Girl

by (@katespencer)

jamielynn.jpgNow that Britney’s baby sister Jamie-Lynn is knocked up, sources are coming out and flinging some serious mud in the teen’s direction. We’ve watched enough Gossip Girl to know how vicious kids can be, but this stuff is downright dirty, which makes it that much more interesting. If these sources are telling the truth, Jamie-Lynn is already following in her sister’s dangerous footsteps. She’s got the partying and the promiscuity down, now all she needs is a couple of vag-flashes! Soon enough.

Accusation #1: Jamie-Lynn gets around
A source accuses J-L of getting busy with a few boys (in addition to her baby-daddy Casey Aldridge), saying, ?I know for a fact that Casey was not the first guy she slept with ? or the last. There were at least two others. I know that 110 percent.?

Accusation #2: She’s using her pregnancy as birth control
A different source allegedly spotted Jamie-Lynn trying to get with a guy (not her boyfriend Casey) with this pick-up line: “It’s cool; I’m pregnant. I can’t get pregnant again!?

Accusation #3: She took to the bottle to forget Britney
Even though she’s only 16, J-L is supposedly way beyond experimenting with booze. She’s drinking to forget about her family drama! ?Some people drink to have a good time,? revealed another underage spy. ?But she drank to get wrecked. She drank to get messed up and forget about her mother, her sister and all of that.? [MSNBC]

Thursday: Britney Talking to the Terminator

by (@katespencer)

britneyarnold.jpgJuvenile Busted with Weed
Remember him? He once wanted you to back that thing up, but maybe he was singing about a bong and not a butt. [Billboard]

Brit Begging Schwarzenegger to Help her Legal Case
Seriously, Sam Lutfi is allegedly calling the Gov to help Brit’s “cause.” She’s trying to make Cheetos the official junk food of Cali. [NYDN]

Is Katie Knocked Up Again?
The starlet was buying baby blankets so now people think she’s pregnant. Ya think maybe she’s just trying to hook J. Lo’s tots up with a gift or two? [MSNBC]

Pete Doherty Plays B-Day Bash for $200
Apparently the birthday girl is a big fan of the f*ck up. Hopefully his strapped-for-cash show also served as alesson for the kids on why NOT to do drugs. [NYP]

Kellie Pickler Advises Idols
Her advice – “stay away from mean people.” Sooo…don’t go on the show? [People]

Gossip Break: Britney’s Ball and Chain

by (@katespencer)

britney_married.jpg- Britney allegedly got married again in Mexico. Eh, who cares? On the Spears Crazy Scale, this is like a 3 out of 10. [Jezebel]

- Christina Aguilera loves her baby – and the money he’s making her. [DListed]

- LoLohan shoots another music video no one will watch. [x17]

- Beyonce disses Aretha Franklin. Diva-duel to come. [SeriouslyOMG]

- Justin Timberlake shows us what not to wear: man boots. [Just Jared]

- Kanye‘s probably obsessed with his own new video for “Flashing Lights,” featuring who else: Kanye. [SandraRose]