Below, catch an exclusive extended preview of the upcoming 10 chapters of R. Kelly‘s “Trapped in the Closet” saga (set to hit DVD on Aug. 21). You may have seen the recap of the first 12 chapters (dubbed “Chapter 12.5″) that hit the Net a few weeks ago — that’s in the video below, but so are first-looks at Chapters 13, 18 and 21. Catch R. Kelly in old-man drag in the character of Randolph — yes, R&B fans, there is a Santa Claus. See our hero lead a gospel revival (bonus points: the “Closet” melodic template gets a choir-led upgrade!). Watch a Sopranos-inspired mob showdown.
It only gets nuttier. The clip below is full of choice dialogue — I can’t decide which is the better insult: “I hope a pigeon fly by here and s*** on your face,” or calling someone, “LL Fool J.” At least there’s no longer a question about R. Kelly’s intent: what’s below is so ridiculous that he’s clearly in on the joke. I mean, he has to be, right? Right?!?!
R. Kelly?s Expanding His ?Closet?
Blog Best-Of: R. Kelly?s Ridiculousness
Box Set: R. Kelly
R. Kelly’s Best Tracks
Surely Amy Winehouse knew that if she penned a hit song about not going to rehab, she’d end up there eventually, right? It’s almost too easy. British gossip rags are reporting that after a stint at a London hospital on Wednesday for “exhaustion,” Winehouse checked herself into The Priory rehab center on Thursday, and is resting in a private wing. This comes after an alleged 3-day drug binge, in which a “friend” reveals that, “She was downing coke, pills and ketamine, vodka and Jack Daniel?s. Even Amy says she will be dead within one year.”
Or not, we hope. Let’s hope she gets rid of her demons in rehab. Then she can move on to dumping her big-mouthed friends. [DListed, The Sun, The Mirror. Image: Getty]
Whitney & Bobby: Back Together?
The tumultuous ex-couple were spotted dining together this week, but sources close to the couple say they’re just “friends.”? [People]
Jealous Ashlee Possessive of Pete
Ashlee reportedly won’t let female fans near her rocker boyfriend, and whines and drags him away when they get near. Aren’t punk rock chicks supposed to be cool and confident? [NY Post]
Mel B: Eddie?s Behavior is Scary
The Spice Girl sat down with Larry King to continue to bash her baby’s funny daddy. She tried to point out his fatherly flaws, but all Larry wanted to talk about was how hilarious Norbit was. [Us Weekly]
Stopped on the red carpet for Sunday night’s Roast of Flavor Flav on Comedy Central, professional wiseacre and rat-voice star Patton Oswalt wondered what would happen if the Catholic church got all hooked-up in a reality show.
Our coverage of the event gave you a taste of what to expect, but if your life is built around curse-riddled zingers, you’ll want to spend a few seconds with the show’s trailer. Hey, Brigitte Nielsen’s not really a man, is she?
Flav Roast Photos
20 Things: Flavor Flav
Flav Roast: Big Laffs, Small Stick?
Deelishis: Still There for Flav
Flav?s Roast a Visual Feast
Flavor Flav?s Back?With a New Taste
A hearty congratulations goes to Antoria Gillon. The 20-year-old hairstylist was nine-months pregnant while auditioning for the upcoming season of American Idol. Well, she’s not pregnant anymore! Gillon went into contractions while waiting her turn on line. The labor pains continued as she performed for the judges. She said: ?I gave it my all through the contractions. They were back to back and getting harder and harder but I was more than willing to have my baby right there. I wasn?t leaving without my golden ticket to the next round.? As if that weren’t nutty enough, Gillon proved herself to be a genius by naming her son Jamil Labarron Idol McCowan. Two thoughts: First, if this keeps up, Gillon’s going to give Dina Lohan a run for worst mother of the year; second, Rupert Murdoch, the Australian mogul who controls Fox, American Idol’s parent company, has just found himself a new marketing and PR exec. You’d hire her, wouldn’t you? Thanks, Fox! You’ve made our lives better. Again. [Image via Dlisted]
?Idol? Hopeful in Sex Scandal
Clay Aiken: Beat Up By a Girl
Antonella & the Idols: Secrets Revealed
Lindsay Lohan‘s former bodyguard, Tony Almeida, who worked for the starlet from 2002-2005, has come forward to rat out her parents for being totally crappy at their job. This is hardly news, as even tiny babies know that Michael’s a loon and Dina’s one of those enabling, “I wanna be BFFs with my kids,” kind of ladies. But Tony gives us even more disastrous deets about the Lohans, like the time Michael got so violent while driving on the highway he pulled their car over and slammed Lindsay against the hood, screaming at her and calling her a slut. Nice.
Dina didn’t help the situation, apparently letting her daughter booze at parties and have sleepovers with her then-boyfriend Aaron Carter at fifteen. Letting her daughter go near that scrawny thing was her first mistake right there! Tony also claims he once found Lindsay snorting “powder” in a closet, and says she cut herself repeatedly and threatened suicide, desperate for attention. Sounds like she’s gonna need a lot more help than a third stint in rehab. Just do a Drew Barrymore and get rid of ‘em all Linds! Even if your ex-security guy is lying, your fam did let you make that stripper-murder movie, and that alone is grounds for dismissal. [NY Post. Image: Getty]
P*ssed Off Moms: Hollywood?s Hottest Accessory
Rob Schneider vs. Dina Lohan
Lindsay & Dina Lohan Photos