Thursday: Rumble in The Hills

by (@katespencer)

hills-011008.jpgKatie Holmes: More Marathoning in Boston
Mrs. Cruise was allowed into the Boston Marathon without actually qualifying because the people of Beantown want to see her run sans bra again. Oh, and she’s famous. [Us]

Jessica Simpson: NFL No Show

Her career, her boyfriend’s career – what can Jess ruin next? Fingers crossed that it’s Ashlee’s upcoming album! [Us]

Don?t Worry, The Hills Girls Are Still BFF
OMG, like, they are still totally giving each other blank stares at clubs and eating Pinkberry together! Phew. [E Online]

Milo and Hayden Make Love Work
Screw that 12-year age difference, these two are totally in love! And we’re like, totally grossed out. [Us]

John Mayer Dumps Actress Gal Pal
Finally he can go back to boning random, trashy chicks like a real “rock star.” [People]

What Else Can We Sue Lindsay Lohan For?

by (@katespencer)

lindsayloham-money.jpgRemember when Linds got all coked up, stole a car with some dudes in it and almost ran her assistant and her mom off the road? Well now that mom, Tracie Rice, is suing her ass, and the stuff she is claiming is kind of hilarious. We’re sure the ride was traumatic, but was it really bad enough to require medication? Aside from losing her job (say what?!) and therefore her $75,000 a year income, Lindsay’s rage has also cost her:

  • $3500 on therapy ($175 per visit)
  • $400 on a medical doctor
  • $145 for a chiropractor visit
  • $100 on “medicine” (er, you mean cocaine?)

But surely there are other things she could add on to make LiLo pay for them, right? How about:

  • $300 worth of leggings (to look like the star she’s suing)
  • $2000 on tanning sessions (see above)
  • $350 on tabloid subscriptions (she’s gotta keep up with Lindsay’s whereabouts!)

Go for it Tracie!

Mama Britney’s Nudie Pics: Coming Soon!

by (@katespencer)

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Poor Britney, even when she’s posing with her kids – as seen above on the latest cover of Ok! Magazine – she looks like she’s in the middle of a meltdown. And now it seems like we’ll be seeing a new side to Britney – well, not that new. But newer! Brit’s paparazzi boyfriend (who she supposedly dumped recently after figuring out his scheme) has been shopping around pics of Britney kinda naked, and apparently some Aussie mag has snatched them up. Only problem? The photog was asking for $5 million, and in the end they took in about $57,000. Brit ain’t worth what she used to be!In addition, Brit’s fam has apparently been trying to get her into a mental institution to deal with her bipolar disorder, but she wasn’t havin’ none of it. Another problem? Her pal Sam Lufti allegedly was a major impediment in getting her some treatment. What are friends for, afterall!?

Paula Abdul’s Major 10 Minute Meltdown

by (@katespencer)

What perfect timing! Just as we were gearing up for a new season of American Idol comes this crazy tale of our precious Paula Abdul totally losing it in the airport. A traveling spy saw the whole thing and offered this glorious account: “She had an insane nervous breakdown that lasted 10 minutes. One minute she was hyperventilating and on the verge of passing out; the next she was yelling into her cell phone in this deep, rage-filled ?Poltergeist? voice. She kept screaming three names over and over ? Michael, Sidney and Leslie. Everyone was staring at her, but she didn?t care.?

We have a feeling Michael, Sidney and Leslie have grabbed their passports, some cash and their dignity and high-tailed it out of the country. Will Paula lose it on this season of American Idol? Did Sanjaya have the lamest hair ever? Only six more days till we find out! Below the jump we’ve got a few of our other favorite Paula moments for you to marvel at.

Read more…

Wednesday: Will Wants to be Like Tom

by (@katespencer)

willtom.jpgWill Smith Sucked Into Scientology
The rapper-turned-actor is reportedly recruiting people for his pal Tommy’s religion. [NYDN]

J. Lo Calls Baby a ?Bubble Gut?
Lopez assumed “everybody knew” about her pregnancy before she revealed it. True, but we didn’t care! [People]

K-Fed?s Police Order Against Britney
The LAPD slapped Brit with a restraining order on behalf of her ex, a customary practice when people get crazy. Um, can we have one too? [People]

Dr. Phil Pisses Off the Spears
They’re accusing the TV doc of violating their trust when he spoke out about his meeting with Brit. What a shock, we totally expected him to stay mum. [People]

Jennifer Love Hated Bikini Blow Up
The whole bathing suit pic fiasco hurt her feelings – but it helped her career, so it was all worth it, right? [Us]

Rock In the Movies: 2007

by

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You’ve got Dewey Cox tripping through all the rock ‘n’ roll eras, from the Elvis and Buddy Holly days to the Beatles and the Maharishi daze. You got Joy Division‘s Ian Curtis making some of the most gorgeous gloom ever concocted before offing himself. And you’ve got 18-20 versions of Bob Dylan bouncing around in Todd HaynesI’m Not There. All sorts of music took over the screens last year. Romp through our flipbook and see if there’s a story you missed.

Eminem’s Hospital Scare

by (@katespencer)

eminem.jpgSlim Shady is now Sick Shady – the rapper landed himself in the hospital over Christmas with a serious case of pneumonia and a heart condition. Sources on the inside also report that Em’s weight has ballooned to over 200 pounds. His rep recently gave the official word: “Over the holidays, Marshall Mathers, aka Eminem, was under doctor’s care at a Detroit-area hospital for complications due to pneumonia. He has since been released and is doing well recovering at home.”

We’re glad to hear he’s healing and kinda hope maybe he’s got enough material to inspire an album. Eminem’s been in hiding for the past year or so, and told Hot 97 in September that his projects were “in limbo.” Let’s hope for a speedy recovery of both his health and his career. [MTV News.]

Divorce Countdown: Kate Heigl & That Dude

by (@katespencer)

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Katherine Heigl is so pretty and perfect and all that sweet stuff. She just got married to that kind of good-looking rocker dude and is now gushing about how pumped she is to have babies. But you know who doesn’t look so psyched? Her new husband. He looks like he’d rather be crammed into a hammock somewhere, strumming his guitar and guzzling a Corona as a couple of hot chicks swoon over his dark and stormy (and mascara-enhanced?) eyes. Katherine’s brought home an Emmy, snagged a raise on her hit show Grey’s Anatomy, and scored a hit movie (last summer’s Knocked Up) and now a serious chick flick in the past year. Her asking price per film has grown from $300,000 to a nice n’ easy $6 million! And you know she’s just waiting to get all ugly for some role and win an Oscar a la Charlize Theron – and score some sweet endorsement deals during her free time. All which leads us to believe that this cute couple isn’t gonna have time for baby-making, because they’ll be to busy breaking up after her star becomes too bright. Don’t believe me? Just ask Reese Witherspoon and Hilary Swank.

Check out more pics of Katherine and her hubby at the premiere of 27 Dresses below:

[All Images: Getty]

Britney Wears a Bra & Stays Home

by (@katespencer)

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We spend a good 95% of our day thinking, reading, and yapping about Britney Spears. And every day it’s the same old crap (like last night: her car broke down, she hitched a ride with paparazzi, Brit rocked an almost nip-slip, slept at the Peninsula Hotel and looked generally trashy and insane) . Life with Britney is like that movie Groundhog Day, except her sh*t stopped being funny a long time ago and we still laugh at Bill Murray. So here is what we wish we could write – a day in the life of Britney that we could only dream of. Maybe someday even just a minute of it will come true.

7AM:
Britney rises early and heads out for a jog wearing a supportive sports-bra, a tank top that covers her stomach, actual shorts and sneakers. Her short, natural hair is pulled back in a headband.
9AM: On the way home for her run, Brit stops by a local coffee shop for a small cup of green tea.
10AM: Britney takes a long, hot shower, washes her hair, scraps off her fake tan and scrubs her finger nails.
11AM: The starlet chews some Nicorette while cleaning out her entire closet, and donates her collection of skanky shirts, butt-revealing dresses and beat-up boots to charity.
12PM: Britney’s kids come over for a visit and she makes then a healthy meal, plays with them in the yard, and puts them down for a nap.
4PM: Mama Brit drives (below the speed limit) her reasonably-priced hybrid vehicle to the farmer’s market and picks up some vegetables and fish for dinner.
6PM: The family gathers for a meal made of actual food, followed by a G-rated movie together.
8PM: Britney goes to bed. Alone.

Tuesday: Jamie-Lynn Smartens Up

by (@katespencer)

jamielynnespears-010808.jpgNicole Kidman: Officially Knocked Up
Nic and hubby Keith Urban are expecting their first baby – and we’re pretty sure it’s not L. Ron Hubbard‘s demon child. Congrats!? [People]

Jamie Lynn Spears Goes Back to School
Brit’s little sis is hard at work in her hometown getting her GED before her baby’s born. She’s such a good role model for her older sister.? [People]

Jessica Simpson Avoids Her Ex
The singer skipped out on a vaca with her little sis in Costa Rica after she learned her ex-hubby Nick Lachey (and his girlfriend Vanessa Minillo) were holed up at the resort next door.? [NYP]

Golden Globes Get Axed
Sorry kids! No watching celebs sit around getting hammered in $5000 dresses (and winning things) this year.? [Us]

Dr. Phil Won?t Shut Up About Britney
If we may echo our pal Chris Crocker, leave Britney alone!? [Us]