Who put the idea in celebrities’ heads that we want junky products with their names and faces all over the packaging? I can’t think of anything I need less than his and her fragrances from a smelly soccer player and his bone n’ boob wife (okay – and a few things that involve medical attention). But the couple’s perfumes are on the way to the States, and “industry analysts” estimate that the ‘Intimately Beckham’ fragances (you probably just puked a little when you heard that name) and David’s other cologne, ‘Instinct by David Beckham,’ will generate $100 million in worldwide sales in this year alone. You just puked again, huh. Me too. Maybe perfume is just the start for Posh n’ Becks! Here are some other products the couple could hawk that America probably wouldn’t mine splurging on:
- Discreetly Beckham: His and Her Bikini Line Wax
- Harmoniously Beckham: His and Her New Age Relaxation CDs
- Deceitfully Beckham: His and Her Private Cell Phones and Secret Email Addresses for Stress Free Adultery [E Online. Image: Getty]
Hot Shots: Cool Pics From Celebville
Operating under the somewhat logical premise that “funk will get you laid,” Seth Rogan‘s story for the upcoming Superbad is teeming with some deep-ass grooves. Funk kingpins Bootsy Collins and Clyde Stubblefield connect with some of their old pals from James Brown‘s band to create the movie’s dirty-minded mood. Here’s a glimpse at what went down the in studio. Jump back and kiss your bad self if you start to feel it. You going to see this movie?
Superbad Movie Page
Superbad Production Stills
The official ad for Mariah Carey‘s M fragrance has hit the Net…
…and it’s sort of sad that she would have been better off going with the fake one. Note to Mariah: next time, take your cues from Schatar. Seriously — what is she supposed to be in that ad? A rock formation?
The worst thing about the ad is that it’s so eager to convince you that Mariah is younger than she is, and yet it can’t even decide on a fake age. The ad suggests that Mariah is simultaneously:
- 27 - The in-the-water motif is sooooo “My All” video, which came out about 10 years ago. It’s as though Mariah never left the water! Swimmer’s ear is so sexy and fragrant.
- 12 - No wrinkles? Ridiculously smooth skin? Summer-camp slick hairdo? Check, check, check. She’ll always be our eternally pubescent baby.
- 6 months – Her butt is smooth as a baby’s. Even worse: that Photoshop-enhanced forehead is, in a word, fetal. Are they trying to tell us that M smells like babies? I repeat: sexy and fragrant. [Mariah Daily Journal]
Mariah Carey’s Artist Page
Browse All Mariah Carey Photos
Hip Hop Mix Tape: August 2007
Apparently the LA City Attorney’s office is trying to decide whether or not to prosecute Brandy on charges of manslaughter stemming from the car accident last winter that left one person dead. A source tells TMZ that there was a “conflict” over charges of manslaughter being brought against the singer. Prosecutors are supposedly waiting on data that will measure the speed of Brandy’s vehicle on impact, which will show if she tried to brake before hitting the car in front of her. The singer is currently being sued by the accident victim’s family.
Let this be a lesson to the Lindsay Lohans of the world! Drive safely people. Not even celebrity can get you off the hook in these crappy situations. Just ask Paris. [TMZ / Image: Getty]
Browse All Brandy Photos
Brandy’s Artist Page
Hear that? It’s the sound of Britney fans breathing a tiny sigh of relief that their pop star has not totally gone off the deep end. Granted she’s still close, but the singer has finally done one smart thing after a summer full of lawyer letters, illegal Vegas trips, meltdowns, ex-assistants, babies with rotten teeth and extensions, extensions, extensions. Britney has hired a manager! And no, it’s not some guy she found down at her local Hooters – the girl’s gone and picked up Jeff Kwatinez, the guy recently fired by Kelly Clarkson. Well played! We’re not sure where this little zap of brain juice has come from, but we like it. Keep it up Brit! Just get those nipple slips under control and you’re on your way to Comeback City! [TMZ / Image: Getty]
Browse All Britney Spears Photos
Britney’s Artist Page
Box Set: Britney Spears
If you are a rocker with humble Jersey roots, gajillions of dollars and a cool dude hairdoo, you are legally NOT allowed to be a whiner. This is the law of rock, of life, of Jersey! But Jon Bon Jovi has apparently lost sight of the awesomeness of his ripped jeans, forsaking his easy going rep to instead throw a tantrum about something as silly as the name of an energy drink. Earlier this year the rocker demanded that the name of energy drink MiJovi be changed, stating that the product and its slogan (“itsmienergy.itsmijovi.itsmilife.”) were stealing from his name, as well as his band’s song “It’s My Life.” However brew creator Marcos Carrington claims that the drink is simply a tribute to his girlfriend Jovita. “It is unfair, he has said, “because Mijovi has nothing to do with Bon Jovi.”
The growing controversy has bumped sales of Mijovi in the rocker’s Jersey hood, and one source even said that “One store had people coming and getting their pictures taken with the drink. It’s even spawned a cocktail called the ‘Angry Rocker.’ ” Sounds like it’s time for Jon to relax a bit, and remember what it’s really all about – sex,
drugs energy drinks and rock n’ roll. [NY Post, ABC News. Image: Getty]
Unplugged: Bon Jovi
Bon Jovi’s Artist Page
Browse All Bon Jovi Photos
Would you date a dude who had made a kinky sex tape that was seen all over the internet? If your answer is yes, don’t be ashamed – Whitney Houston did, for a second, and now it appears that Lil Kim has fallen under Ray J’s scandal-making spell. He recently treated the pint size rap starlet to a $20,000 shopping spree (let’s hope no pasties were purchased), and just this weekend the pair walked the red carpet together at the Rodeo Drive Experience event in Beverly Hills. They were also photographed last month cuddling after celebrating the Queen Bee’s B-Day, and were caught again this weekend hitting the clubs with Ray J’s sis Brandy.
Sex Tape Star + Former Jailbird = Scandalous Love in Skimpy Outfits.
We like this coupling all ready! [Images: Getty]
Browse All Kim Kardashian Photos
Browse All Lil’ Kim Photos
Almost four months after the horrific Virginia Tech shootings, where 33 students were gunned down on the campus by a disgruntled student, a concert in their honor is slated to take place on September 6th. But just days after the bill was announced, the community-healing efforts hit a snag. In addition to gluten-free granola acts like Dave Matthews and John Mayer (granted he keeps his stand-up to himself), New York rapper Nas is also set to perform. Now a spokesperson for the families of the victims has expressed their collective displeasure with the idea of rapper performing, given the nature of his lyrics, which they feel “are indicative of the moral decay in our society that contributes to acts of violence,” says Vincent Bove. While we applaud Nas for his community-oriented efforts, is a hand-picked set in order? Do you think the victims’ families are being overly sensitive? [Idolator/Image: Getty]
Browse All Nas Photos
Take 2: Nas
After all that drama (and that giant tent at LA Reid‘s Hamptons house), Usher and his lady Tameka Foster have finally made it legal, literally, with a small private wedding in the singer’s lawyer’s office. The nuptials took place Friday after their original shindig was called off, with rumors swirling that the star’s mother had been left off the guest list. Sources revealed that for the second go, Usher’s mom was indeed present. The sexy singer told Us Weekly, “I exchanged vows with Tameka Foster in Atlanta on Friday and we are happily married.”
Guess it’s time for everyone to take a little honeymoon from all the fighting and the drama before the baby’s born. The little one’s arrival is sure to bring about all sorts of battles between Usher, his mama and wife. The baby can referee! [Us Weekly / VH1 News / Image: Getty]
Usher Gets Married After All: Report
Usher and Tameka Photos
This weekend the NY Post alleged that the car crash queen arrived in Long Island on Friday to lie low at her mom’s house. Dad Michael blabbed, “She’s here and in a good place, and I hope our family is reunited to bring Lindsay back the stability she needs.”
Yet a source for Us Weekly tells the mag that Lindsay is nowhere near the East Coast, and Entertainment Tonight claims the starlet is receiving treatment at the Cirque Lodge in Utah, former hangout of Mary-Kate Olsen. Lindsay’s rep added no useful info to the search for the troubled actress, telling Us, “It would be counterproductive to the medical treatment she’s receiving to release Lindsay’s whereabouts at this time.”
But maybe Lindsay isn’t in Utah at all! Why she could be hiding in a pile of Paris Hilton‘s dogs, working as Britney’s new assistant, catching snakes for Gwyneth Paltrow‘s fancy skin cream or cooking up Nicole Richie‘s hourly meals! Where do YOU think the starlet is hiding out? Is she actually on her way to getting better, or is LiLo destined to ruin the fender on another Mercedes in a month or so? [NY Post, ET, Us Weekly. Image: Getty]
Browse All Lindsay Lohan Photos