Oh K-Fed. You and your snazzy mohawk and that sexy suit. And those dimples! Blush. Is it possible that we…might…LIKE YOU? Aside from the whole awesome and available father thing, Kevin actually understands our infatuation with him and Britney. He gets us! “I think the infatuation with the whole thing is that watching us go through things makes other people feel normal,” he says. So true, Kev! Your problems make our major dandruff issues pale in comparison. But what’s even more lovable is that Daddy Federline is so committed to his corral of kids, saying that he’s ?usually watching SpongeBob SquarePants, Cars or whatever the kids are into. I?m much more G-rated than anything else these days!?
Meanwhile, Britney was too “scared” to even enter the courthouse yesterday and fight for her sons because of all the paparazzi (like she’s never seen them before), so she left, visited a church and then ate some empanadas. Later in the night she went to a Rite Aid with her user boyrazzi Adnan and picked up a prescription. Brit’s not doing much to help her rep as the worst mom in the world, but we do understand being scared – like right now our feelings of Federlove are totally freaking us out.
Katie Holmes Only Answers Easy Questions
It’s not that she’s avoiding those Scientology questions, it’s just that it’s pretty hard to explain how she became pregnant with the sperm of a dead dude. Check out video of Katie talking like a zombie on Good Morning America HERE.? [NYP]
Joel Madden Blogs About Baby
The new dad proudly reveals on his website that his new daughter “looks so much like her mom its crazy!” Ah right, because they both once weighed 7 pounds.? [Us]
OMG! High School Musical 3 Is Happening!
The whole cast is back! It’s a feature film! Tween freakout!!! [People]
Eva?s Not Jumping on the Baby Bandwagon
Nope, she’s just gained ten pounds from eating so much while on strike. Finally, someone sets a good example in Hollywood.? [People]
Ex-Manager Calls J. Lo “Unprofessional”
It’s a dumping whodunnit – J. Lo claims she gave her manager the boot on Friday, but his people dissed her and called her hubby “meddling.” Let’s just assume they’re all annoying and call it a day.? [NYDN]
Akon, the buff African-American superstar with the dulcet voice and penchant for, uh, escalating interactions between artist and audience, had the privilege of duetting with the Gloved One on “Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’” for Thriller 25, the anniversary edition of Michael Jackson‘s storied album. The record won’t be out until February 12th, but we’re streaming that track for you, here and now. And since we’ve had the privilege of listening to it, let’s just say that it’s a real duet, not one of those that stop with backing vocals added to the chorus. Between this and Rihanna‘s “Don’t Stop the Music,” the lyrics “Mama-se, mama-sa, ma-ma-koo-sa” have rarely had so much exposure.
It’s currently 3:30 PM here on the east coast (that’s 12:30 PM for you left coasters) and Britney Spears has to yet show up for her court date, which was scheduled to start today at 9:30 AM PST. Surely Sean and Jayden aren’t that surprised. Those kids know how to say only two things: “mama” and “no show.” But their hero of a daddy, complete with his new mohawk hairdo straight from 2002, arrived at court 30 minutes early at 9 AM, looking all dapper in a suit. Rumors has it that Britney will make an appearance at 1PM, but word on the virtual street is that the singer has yet to leave her house for her court appearance. And seeing as we regular folk know that the custody of her kids is on the line here, even she’s gotta understand the importance of today’s hearing.
Brit was out all weekend with her boyrazzi and even screamed and swore at the photogs stalking her in a British accent outside of a Macy’s department store. Just last night the pair hit up a CVS at 1am, only 8 hours before she was supposed to be at court. We highly doubt that her absence (or at best, a very late appearance) signals that she doesn’t love her kids. Britney doesn’t like being told what to do – and it’s obvious that she considers her right to be the boss of the world more important than the custody of her children. And honestly, isn’t that a good thing for Sean, Jayden, and their future therapy bills?
Update, 3:53 PM: Britney’s left her house!
Steroids are celebrity poison. After a protracted investigation last year into performance-enhancing drugs’ presence in Major League Baseball, and Marion Jones‘ confession last fall that she had a little help from some pharmaceutical friends, authorities are looking at the world of rap and R&B. A new report alleges steroid use by several entertainers, including 50 Cent, Mary J. Blige, Timbaland, Wyclef Jean and Tyler Perry. (Blige’s spokesperson denies the accusation; Perry’s representation refused to comment.) What, if anything, this has to do with the price of tea in China is unclear: Officials say that none of the celebrities have broken the law, and that for now, they’re focusing on the doctors who are prescribing the drugs, not the already beleaguered music industry. Besides, unless we’ve been misled, ‘roids don’t help you rap. And if this story’s true, they apparently don’t help you win a fake record-selling battle with Kanye West trumped up for press on September 11th, either. Here are some sweet portraits of the artists in their buff mode.
In other, sort of related news: NBC has been randomly testing the cast members of the network’s hit show American Gladiators in an effort to avoid just this sort of thing. In made-up, totally fake news: the WWE saw the story in this morning’s New York Post, went home and Soloflexed the tears away shortly before putting its fingers in its ears and throwing out its television set.
The rumor’s out that alt-rock lightning rod/David LaChapelle muse Courtney Love has begun casting for a 2009 film based on Heavier Than Heaven, a biography of her husband, Mr. Pisces Iscariot himself, Kurt Cobain. According to reports, Love has asked Woody Allen mainstay Scarlett Johansson to play herself. She’s also reportedly lined up Ryan Gosling to play Cobain. No word on whether or not she’s asked Keanu Reeves to play Krist Novoselic, Animal from the Muppets to play Dave Grohl, Will Ferrell to play Mark Lanegan, Anthony Bourdain to play Chris Cornell, Adam Duritz to play Buzz Osbourne, Karen O to play Kathleen Hanna, Kathleen Hanna to play Kat Bjelland, or Thurston Moore to play Eric Erlandson, but stay tuned and we’ll let you know as soon as the news breaks.
Congrats to Nicole Richie and Christina Aguilera! They both were busy on Friday poppin’ out babies at the same time ( and at the same hospital). Nicole and her boyfriend Joel Madden welcomed a baby girl named Harlow Winter Kate Madden, while Xtina gave birth a couple of hours later to new son Max Liron Bratman. It’s probably too soon – and too creepy – to suggest that these two tots should totally date someday, right? Anyway, everyone (admittedly, ourselves included) is so mushy and gushy over the starlets’ new journey into motherhood that we’ve almost forgotten the moments that got them here. You know the assless chaps, the hair extensions, the trashy make up and boob flashing. But rest assured, we haven’t! So Harlow Winter Kate and Max, when that angsty moment comes around your thirteenth birthday, and you feel the urge to lash out against your super cool Hollywood mom, this post will be there for you, preserved somewhere in the archives of the web. Print out these pics (see below), hang them around your mansion and enjoy the drama that follows. You can thank us by not ever needing to go to rehab.
Bjork Beats Down Photog
The singer tore off a pap’s shirt after he snapped her pic down under. That seems more sexy than threatening.? [TMZ]
Britney: Shops in her Wedding Dress
Honestly, do expect anything less than Britney shopping for Mercedes with her boyrazzi in the wedding dress she wore when marrying K-Fed?? Crazy is as crazy does.? [People]
Kim Kardashian Defends her Man
While clubbing in LA, Kim kicked out the dude who apparently bribed her NFL star boyfriend with money while he was in college. Dashie don’t play that.? [NYDN]
The Golden Globes Happened – Did You Notice?
Atonement wins for best pic, and everyone goes home bored.? [EOnline]
Eva’s Got Jessica Simpson’s Back
The actress stands up for her pal after fans start blaming the Cowboys’ playoff loss on Jessica. We like to blame Jess for everything – global warming is totally her fault!? [People]
Radiohead: What eminently likeable rapscallions they are.
In addition to snookering the entire record industry by releasing their latest collection, In Rainbows, on their own, without the mitigation of label distribution and/or marketing (really makes you wonder whether Seinfeld needed to torture everyone with that Bee Movie campaign, doesn’t it?), the experimental British post-rockers topped Billboard’s album charts this past week. The amount of records sold was negligible — they didn’t even break 130,000 — but still, for a band that basically gave away its new album for free online, that’s not half bad. Because Radiohead loves you, they’ve released videos of them performing songs off their new album. Watch “Jigsaw” (above), “Unravel,” “Reckoner” and “Bodysnatcher” here now. The lo-fi charm is undeniable. Just try to deny it, and we’ll send 10 rabid Radiohead fans to your house now to explain why you’re wrong. They’ll do it, too. Trust us.