It seems like Josh Duhamel can’t talk about his girlfriend Fergie without using the word, "hot." As a consequence, I can’t read about him talking about Fergie without throwing up. And so, to Josh’s recent assertion that, "[Fergie] would have been too hot for me in high school. I would have been intimidated by her," I say: GROSS. Seriously, Josh’s gushing reads like spin, spin, spin, but what exactly is he trying to convince us? That he really likes girls? That Fergie really is hot? Frankly, I’m still not convinced of either.
The latest development in Josh and Fergie’s steamy courtship is that she has taken up pole dancing. She’s a regular Midwest stripper, past meth addiction and all! Says Josh in next month’s Glamour:
"Fergie is taking lessons, but she won’t get on it until she knows what she’s doing, ’cause she doesn’t want to look stupid."
The woman who coined the word "Fergalicious," who promised to "get, get, get, get you drunk, get you drunk off my hump," who confessed to peeing herself on stage, doesn’t want to look stupid? Interesting. [New York Post]
When The Beatles came to America 40 years ago their visit was known as the British Invasion. Tomorrow UK superstars Victoria and David Beckham hit our shores, but judging from the photo on the right, it’ll look more like an alien invasion. Okay, okay, that’s mean. But seriously – what is going on over there? She’s all bones and boobs!
The Spice Girl and her soccer superstar husband officially move to LA this week, even though they’ve been catwalking around Hollywood for months now picking out curtains for their $22 million mansion. Posh says she’s "really, really excited" to live in America, and she’s lined up two talk show interviews, a one hour documentary special on NBC, and a magazine cover as proof. But will celeb-saturated America care? Do you? [Fox News]
Now and then our Tour Survival Guide will check in with rockers about life on the road. Here’s Brandi Carlile on putting makeup on boys, fishing and whiskey. Find out when Brandi’s playing a town near you, and buy tickets now.
Teach A Woman To Fish…
I can’t tour without a fishing pole. On days off, you can find a lake almost anywhere, and for anybody who hasn’t ever gone fishing, there really isn’t a better way to wind down whether you catch a fish or not. It’s just good to go spend a day by a lake.
Thread Counts and Highways
I also can’t live without bedding. Bus bedding is never good enough. That’s one of the only things I’m a snob about. I have to have comfortable sheets and blankets.
While LiLo was busy reading Machiavelli and saying serenity prayers in rehab, someone busted into her alleged MySpace account and released a bunch of her love letters to DJ gal pal Samantha Ronson. Right off the bat this raises a bunch of questions:
- Why do celebrities continue to communicate via MySpace?
- Do they not own various texting/calling/video chatting devices?
- Is there not an army of carrier pigeons at their beck and call waiting to deliver letters?
- Are celebrities idiots?
At least we know the answer to the last question is a resounding YES. Lindsay’s supposed messages to Samantha are mushy and dramatic (and okay, genius): "Babe," she writes, "if I don’t have you in my life then I should just go die. … I want to marry you and have children with you." In another she signs off as "Lindsay Ronson." It definitely has a nice ring to it. Go for it
LiLo LiRo! Just do it after you open a can of good ol’ Lindsay whoop ass on the person who hacked your site. [NY Daily News]
After months of relative silence on her relationship with the man she refers to simply as "Manson," Evan Rachel Wood has finally revealed what caused the two to come together, ignore current relationships, multi-decade age differences and the court of public opinion: Eyeliner. While some women cite such fickle requirements as desiring their men to be gainfully employed or disease free, Wood explains in the August issue of British Elle that her men bring the kohl. "If you’ve ever dated me, then you would have ended up wearing eyeliner at some point. All my boyfriends have." Wood goes on to call Manson "crazy," the highest compliment the starlet could pay, and contrary to her being made into a doppelganger of Manson’s ex-wife Dita Von Teese, insists that she’s "finding herself."
"Busta‘s lovemaking was not for the timid or faint of heart," writes scabrous radio personality Miss Jones in her just-released memoir Have You Met Miss Jones?: The Life and Loves of Radio’s Most Controversial Diva. In the book, she takes down Beyonc?, Jay-Z, rival radio loudmouth Wendy Williams and a host of other urban-radio royalty, but her most hilarious comments (at least, those excerpted by today’s article in the New York Daily News) were reserved for her one-time lover Busta Rhymes. Says Jonesy, "Busta was as gentle as he could be, because he was packing." But never one to give a compliment without then consulting the back of her hand, Jones continues in her acidic pseudo-wit:
"The fact that our lovemaking never lasted too long didn’t bother me, because I didn’t enjoy his drops of sweat raining down on me. [Afterward] Busta would stroll around the apartment butt-naked, then shower and go into the kitchen and fry an egg sandwich – for himself. I guess I should be grateful. It’s not like he didn’t offer me a bite."
After all, what goes better with H.A.M. than a fried-egg sandwich? [New York Daily News / Image credit: Getty]
For those of you who thought the age of the "Sensitive Man" was dead, think again. Ryan Seacrest is bringing it back full force. The Americal Idol host went into detail on his radio show Monday morning, describing the blubbering sesh he had while watching Eva Longoria and Tony Parker share their first dance together as husband and wife. And no, he didn’t imagine it, he was actually at the wedding – as a guest. Say what? "I am crying," he stated, reliving his reaction to the couple. "Then Tony dipped Eva right then and there, pulled her back up and gave her a kiss."
Who knew guys actually noticed these things? Ah – but all men are not Ryan Seacrest. He continued to describe watching this scene with fellow (female) guests Teri Hatcher, Felicity Huffman and Jessica Alba: "They are smiling and I am a disaster."
Yes. Yes, you are. I for one am insulted that you’ve made it through six seasons of American Idol without shedding a tear. What kind of gentle, tender, sweet man are you?
In the latest screen-to-stage move, ’80s cult fave Desperately Seeking Susan is being turned into a West End Musical. Downtown icon Debbie Harry of Blondie fame has penned one new song for the play, “Moment of Truth,” and the score will include Blonide hits “Tide Is High,” “Heart of Glass” and “One Way Or Another.” The film, which epitomized New York’s East Village culture at the time, was Madonna‘s acting debut and remains one of her only tolerable film performances. The play opens October 12th at London’s Novello Theater.
Avril Lavigne is getting a lot of heat these days, and it’s still kinda unclear if it’s warranted or not. Today’s latest accusation against the pop punk princess is that she’s ripped off a song by electroclash queen Peaches. You can check it out and take a listen for yourself. Sure they sound similar, but it’s doubtful that Peaches is the first artist to ever rap lyrics over an electronic drumbeat. Anyone with a computer can do that these days. What really should be in question are the lyrics of this Avril song. "I’m the one who’s got the prance" just doesn’t seem to go along with all that hardcore punk plaid and middle finger thrusting. We look forward to seeing what "the one who wears the pants" has to say about this latest finger point in her direction. Any comment, Avs?
Madonna reportedly issued a weird decree to U.S. reporters backstage at Live Earth: they were to never break eye contact with her as they interviewed her. They were told that the simple act of looking down to check their notes would cause the interview to be canceled. One anonymous source said: “It’s intimidating enough interviewing Madonna, because she’s so intense, but when we were given these weird orders it was even worse. We thought her people were just joking. But it soon became apparent that they were deadly serious.”
The crazy thing about her demand is that a tenant of diva behavior is to demand that underlings avoid eye contact. But that’s Madonna for you: constantly digging up new ways to be a pain in the ass. The woman is an innovator.
But really, I think she wanted people to maintain eye contact so that they’d stay still long enough for her to catch them with the spider legs she had attached to her face in the place of eyelashes.
Terrifying, right? [Mirror.co.uk / Image credit: Getty]