Why do celebrities continue to communicate via MySpace?
Do they not own various texting/calling/video chatting devices?
Is there not an army of carrier pigeons at their beck and call waiting to deliver letters?
Are celebrities idiots?
At least we know the answer to the last question is a resounding YES. Lindsay’s supposed messages to Samantha are mushy and dramatic (and okay, genius): "Babe," she writes, "if I don’t have you in my life then I should just go die. … I want to marry you and have children with you." In another she signs off as "Lindsay Ronson." It definitely has a nice ring to it. Go for it LiLo LiRo! Just do it after you open a can of good ol’ Lindsay whoop ass on the person who hacked your site. [NY Daily News]
After months of relative silence on her relationship with the man she refers to simply as "Manson," Evan Rachel Wood has finally revealed what caused the two to come together, ignore current relationships, multi-decade age differences and the court of public opinion: Eyeliner. While some women cite such fickle requirements as desiring their men to be gainfully employed or disease free, Wood explains in the August issue of British Elle that her men bring the kohl. "If you’ve ever dated me, then you would have ended up wearing eyeliner at some point. All my boyfriends have." Wood goes on to call Manson "crazy," the highest compliment the starlet could pay, and contrary to her being made into a doppelganger of Manson’s ex-wife Dita Von Teese, insists that she’s "finding herself."
"Busta‘s lovemaking was not for the timid or faint of heart," writes scabrous radio personality Miss Jones in her just-released memoir Have You Met Miss Jones?: The Life and Loves of Radio’s Most Controversial Diva. In the book, she takes down Beyonc?, Jay-Z, rival radio loudmouth Wendy Williams and a host of other urban-radio royalty, but her most hilarious comments (at least, those excerpted by today’s article in the New York Daily News) were reserved for her one-time lover Busta Rhymes. Says Jonesy, "Busta was as gentle as he could be, because he was packing." But never one to give a compliment without then consulting the back of her hand, Jones continues in her acidic pseudo-wit:
"The fact that our lovemaking never lasted too long didn’t bother me, because I didn’t enjoy his drops of sweat raining down on me. [Afterward] Busta would stroll around the apartment butt-naked, then shower and go into the kitchen and fry an egg sandwich – for himself. I guess I should be grateful. It’s not like he didn’t offer me a bite."
After all, what goes better with H.A.M. than a fried-egg sandwich? [New York Daily News / Image credit: Getty]
For those of you who thought the age of the "Sensitive Man" was dead, think again. Ryan Seacrest is bringing it back full force. The Americal Idol host went into detail on his radio show Monday morning, describing the blubbering sesh he had while watching Eva Longoria and Tony Parker share their first dance together as husband and wife. And no, he didn’t imagine it, he was actually at the wedding – as a guest. Say what? "I am crying," he stated, reliving his reaction to the couple. "Then Tony dipped Eva right then and there, pulled her back up and gave her a kiss."
Who knew guys actually noticed these things? Ah – but all men are not Ryan Seacrest. He continued to describe watching this scene with fellow (female) guests Teri Hatcher, Felicity Huffman and Jessica Alba: "They are smiling and I am a disaster."
Yes. Yes, you are. I for one am insulted that you’ve made it through six seasons of American Idol without shedding a tear. What kind of gentle, tender, sweet man are you?
In the latest screen-to-stage move, ’80s cult fave Desperately Seeking Susan is being turned into a West End Musical. Downtown icon Debbie Harry of Blondie fame has penned one new song for the play, “Moment of Truth,” and the score will include Blonide hits “Tide Is High,” “Heart of Glass” and “One Way Or Another.” The film, which epitomized New York’s East Village culture at the time, was Madonna‘s acting debut and remains one of her only tolerable film performances. The play opens October 12th at London’s Novello Theater.
Avril Lavigne is getting a lot of heat these days, and it’s still kinda unclear if it’s warranted or not. Today’s latest accusation against the pop punk princess is that she’s ripped off a song by electroclash queen Peaches. You can check it out and take a listen for yourself. Sure they sound similar, but it’s doubtful that Peaches is the first artist to ever rap lyrics over an electronic drumbeat. Anyone with a computer can do that these days. What really should be in question are the lyrics of this Avril song. "I’m the one who’s got the prance" just doesn’t seem to go along with all that hardcore punk plaid and middle finger thrusting. We look forward to seeing what "the one who wears the pants" has to say about this latest finger point in her direction. Any comment, Avs?
Madonna reportedly issued a weird decree to U.S. reporters backstage at Live Earth: they were to never break eye contact with her as they interviewed her. They were told that the simple act of looking down to check their notes would cause the interview to be canceled. One anonymous source said: “It’s intimidating enough interviewing Madonna, because she’s so intense, but when we were given these weird orders it was even worse. We thought her people were just joking. But it soon became apparent that they were deadly serious.”
The crazy thing about her demand is that a tenant of diva behavior is to demand that underlings avoid eye contact. But that’s Madonna for you: constantly digging up new ways to be a pain in the ass. The woman is an innovator.
But really, I think she wanted people to maintain eye contact so that they’d stay still long enough for her to catch them with the spider legs she had attached to her face in the place of eyelashes.
"I am in love with someone but not Puff Daddy. He’s just a good friend. Anyway he has a beautiful girlfriend."
Notice how she uses his old name, which means she could in fact be dating Diddy, P. Diddy, Sean Combs, Sean "Puffy" Combs, puff pastry, a puffy shirt, Diddy Kong, ’90s U.K. dance sensation Diddy or a game of Tiddly Winks. Furthermore, since Kim’s out of the picture, Sienna could very well be referring to herself when she says "beautiful girlfriend." That outfit and those eyebrows could only be rocked by someone convinced of their own hotness. [Zee News / Image credit: Getty]
Yesterday we told you how Daniel Radcliffe (aka Harry Potter) had himself a man-crush on funnyman Seth Green. Well, it seems that the premiere was a lovefest. Rising pop tart Miley Cyrus (aka Hannah Montana) attended the L.A. screening of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, too. She told VH1 New she was there to catch Harry’s eye. Everyone loves a little wizard on the red carpet!
50 Cent is just a traditional guy who likes to woo ladies the old-fashioned way – taking them out to dinner surrounded by an entourage. Sound strange? Not to Ciara, who’s recently been seen getting cozy with the hip hop star. The two hit up the Brentwood Restaurant and Lounge in LA and got romantic at a table for two, as ten of 50′s pals and bodyguards protected the pair’s privacy from a second table close by. The group arrived and left in a flurry of pricey cars, including 50′s Lamborghini. Not a bad catch for the 21-year old singer, who worked with 50 (who is 10 years her senior) on her single "Can’t Leave ‘Em Alone." Looks like she was singing about her experience dating 50 – and his always present posse. When you’re worth millions upon millions of dollars, it can’t hurt having a little extra protection around, right? Let’s just hope he locks them out of his bedroom when there’s a lady between his sheets.