Michael Jackson Morphs

by (@katespencer)

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It’s not that Michael Jackson looks like a woman on the latest cover of Jet Magazine. We’re way beyond that comparison; people have been saying it for years and honestly, who’s not gender-bending these days? More specifically, Michael looks like a lady news anchor, and we’re feel-ing his look. The gold python jacket and slinky black turtleneck combo says, “I’m sexy and I know all about Iran’s secret nuclear weapons program,” while the hair reveals a sensible side that can also let loose once the vodka tonics starts flowing and the Don Henley is blasted from the boom box. Mixed with those trusty wool slacks and high cheek bones, and he’s got that “soccer mom one minute, interviewing the Secretary of State the next” thing down! We’d totally trust him to deliver the news on broccoli preventing cancer. Trusting him to deliver a hit album is another story.

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Top 20 Singles of the Year (6-10)

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As 2007 dwindles down, we’re taking a look back at our favorite tracks. Each Tuesday through the end of the month, we?ll sing the praises of the 20 songs that made our year. See what made the cut, and let us know what you think of our choices.

Amy Winehouse, ?Rehab,? from Back to Black (Island)

06_amywinehouse.jpgHere’s the track that will probably be remembered as the year?s most portentous song. Belting out her rejection of medical care (for what, as it turns out, was a slew of emotional and mental problems, including drug addiction, bulimia and cutting), the petite British soul star established herself as a crossover hipster with urban appeal. She wooed both the Hot 97 crew and the American Apparel kids vying for face time on the Cobra Snake. Her unfortunate biography aside, the song?s meld of R&B, punk attitude and references to another ill-fated star, Donny Hathaway, marked the arrival of an exciting pop voice. Winehouse’s sound was so radically different than the soft-soul competition, she united disparate elements of the culture — everyone from Jay-Z to Nas, say. Ostensibly, the song?s about a girl abusing liquor to cope with a bad break-up. In the lyrics at least, she knows better: ?Didn?t get a lot in class/ but I know it don?t come in a shot glass.? It?s an honest ode to the virtues of being headstrong. It?s too bad, of course, that it turned out Amy herself needed rehab after all.

Mims, ?This Is I?m Hot,? Music Is My Savior (Capitol)

07_mims.jpgCan a simple lyric come off like a profound declaration? In hip-hop it can, and out of the blue this mediocre MC dropped a chest-thumping boast that was utterly confident about its one-note message: ?I could sell a mil saying nothing on the track,? drawled the New Yorker. That?s not necessarily the artistic crime it sounds like; give it up to Mims ? this baby was one of the summer?s early smashes. A key reason: the rich atmosphere created by that ghostly synth setting and that sidewalk-shaking boom. It?s the kind of space dub stuff that sticks in your mind. And it enhances his arrogance. Out to cut the competition (?I?m hot cuz I?m fly/you ain?t cuz you?re not?) a guy who?ll probably never equal this success again came up with a masterpiece of contention.

Read more…

Simpson May Get Naked For Her “Art”

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jessica_simpsonJessica Simpson‘s acting career has long been the subject of ridicule, but apparently she’s looking to change that by taking off her clothes for a role. After starring in such bombs as The Dukes of Hazzard and Employee of the Month (as well as the straight to video Blonde Ambition), the box office black widow is considering taking a role that would feature some graphic nudity in order to get her acting career on track.

According to Dlisted, this is the second time Simpson’s been offered a role that required nudity. Simpson’s father (and former Baptist minister) Joe said, “The last script that came to us was for Jessica to be a porn star. We were promised we would win an Oscar with that. I told them, ‘I think we’ll just buy a statue of a little man and keep our clothse on.’” First of all, it appears that Joe’s getting his pronouns mixed up — Oscars are awarded to the actors, not their parents. Secondly, this is from the man who once stated, “She’s got double D’s! you can’t cover those suckers up!”

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Another Day, Another Oompa Loompa Rescued by Paris Hilton

by (@katespencer)

paris-121007.jpgJust a typical day in the life of Paris Hilton! At a performance in Miami this weekend, a rowdy crowd shoved performer Robin Sherwood (dressed as one of Willy Wonka’s Oompa Loompas) so hard that he sliced his leg open on a metal part of the stage support. But never fear! It’s a bird! It’s a skanky heiress! It’s…Paris Hilton? Yes, the waste of space in a fancy dress “rescued” the fallen little man like the hero that she is! A witness revealed, “Paris screamed for help and jumped up to move everyone away from him. She held Robin’s hand and said the sweetest things to keep him calm. She stayed with him until he was safely in the ambulance on his way to the hospital.”

Sherwood ended up getting 50 stitches and is recovering – thank goodness he’ll be okay and credit has been given where credit is due. Paris deserves some sort of award for her life-saving skills and selfless behavior. Then she can resume her mission of rescuing imaginary elf-like creatures across the globe! [NYDN. Image: Getty]

Zep Tears Sh!t Up in London

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Yep, it happened last night. The ’70s kingpins Led Zeppelin reunited to celebrate their music biz pal Ahmet Ertegun and tickle a global fanbase that remains fervent four decades after the band first began. The set list ranged from “Rock and Roll” to “No Quarter” to “Dazed and Confused.” The audience members ranged from Mick Jagger to Dave Grohl to Pink to Naomi Campbell. More reports and live clips coming in soon. Keep checking back throughout the day.

Didn’t make the show? Watch a block of Led Zeppelin videos to relieve the frustration. Don’t overlook some of their coolest tracks.

Tuesday: Jessica’s a High Maintenance Pal

by (@katespencer)

jessica-eva.jpgJessica Simpson?s Got Beef with Pal Eva
Jess is supposedly all pissed that her BFF Eva Longoria was spotted hanging with John Mayer. Bros before annoying whiny pains in the ass, right Eva? [NYP]

Madonna Stepping Up to Back Hillary
Look out Oprah, there’s a new famous lady campaigning for a Dem in town! [NYDN]

J.Lo?s Twin?s Are Already Spoiled
These mofo’s are having three different nurseries designed for them – one at each mansion. Let’s just leave it at that. [NYDN]

Britney Acts Crazy, Looks Like Crap
Hey ya’ll! Just me and my pink wig, driving around like a freak! Ya’ll should buy my album so I can afford more Frappucinos! [TMZ]

Angelina Names Shiloh the Family Outcast
Jolie calls her biological baby the family outcast because she’s looks different from her other kids. She’s just giving Shiloh that much more ammo to use against her when she turns 13. [DListed]

Paris Hilton is Violently in Love

by (@katespencer)

paris-hilton_1210.jpgIt looks like Paris DID learn something in prison – how to kick the sh*t out of another woman! The heiress apparently freaked when she discovered her on-again off-again flame, Greek shipping heir hottie Stavros Niarchos, macking on another girl in Miami last week. After noticing her man ignoring her for another woman, Paris went up to them and screamed at the unlucky lady (who happens to be her BFF Brandon Davis’ ex-girlfriend). The next night she attempted the same tactic to get Stav’s attention, but added some sexy dancing to spice up her wooing. Are we talking about humans here, or peacocks? She then followed him to another club, where she went nuts trying to get his date kicked out, and a source says she even begged security to give her the boot. Another spy claimed, “Paris was so furious, she ended up walking up to the girl and just punched her.”

The tumultuous night ended in a kiss, a classy capper to a typical instance of Hilton insanity. Perhaps they can leave Miami and take their love onto a yacht, sailing far far away from the cameras, internet, and our sensitive eyes.

Amy’s Mum Makes A Tabloid Plea

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amy_winehouseIn a desperate attempt to reach her daughter, Amy Winehouse‘s mother has written an 1,100-word open letter, asking her daughter to get help. In the plea, appearing in The News Of The World (the American equivalent of The National Enquirer), Janis Winehouse explains she felt compelled to write to her daughter after seeing pictures of Winehouse wandering the streets in the early morning hours wearing a bra and jeans.

“All I wanted to do was rush into those pictures and wrap you up in a big,warm blanket,” said Janis. With pledges of home-cooking to fatten the emaciated Winehouse up and a request for her to pick up the phone, Winehouse’s mother made no reference to her daughter’s possible drug addiction. She did, however, mention she hopes Winehouse’s recently-incarcerated husband Blake Fielder-Civil turns his life around. In the past week, Winehouse has canceled several tour dates, been photographed wandering the streets in her underwear and kept the company of one of England’s most notorious drug addicts, Pete Doherty.

Teen Heartthrobs Tie the Knot – or Not

by (@katespencer)

baio.jpgVh1′s formerly single star Scott Baio made it official with longtime love Renee Sloan on a roof-top ceremony in LA this weekend. How romantic for a guy who’s dated (and done) half of Hollywood! The ceremony was taped for the upcoming season of Scott Baio is 46…and Pregnant, so we’ll all be able to ogle at the adorableness of Chachi settling down. Half way across the country in Orlando, Florida, Backstreet Boy Howie Dorough married his longtime girlfriend in a traditional Catholic wedding. His new wife, Leigh Boniello, was the webmaster for the Boys’ site before the pair started dating six years ago. Web-dorable!

The only former teen heartthrob not getting tied down this weekend was Nick Lachey, though rumors spread all over the web thanks to Fox News claimed otherwise. While he and gal pal Vanessa Minnillo where supposedly down in the Bahamas preparing for their big day, Nick was really home in Ohio working on his new show for NBC, Clash of the Choirs. Jessica Simpson can breath easy – for now!

Diddy and Cassie: Crazy in Love

by (@katespencer)

diddy-cassie-1210.jpgSo much for Diddy getting back together with one if his baby-mammas. The rap mogul and lady lover has cut off ties with his many girls on the side and is now 100% committed to dating his prodigy Cassie. A source revealed that, ?She recently broke up with her boyfriend…They?re holed up together in Miami, very low-key. He?s really in love with her.?

The ‘Diddy and Cassie are doing it’ rumors have been swirling for a while, even though the singer denied it as late as last week. She said, “No I haven?t ever dated Diddy. I?m his artist, and we are actually friends. We really are friends. I am fortunate to have that connection with him, we just happened to have really hit it off as friends, but that?s it.”

Or is it?