Some people think of Enrique Iglesias as primarily a singer. I think of him as primarily a penis-haver. For almost two years, Enrique’s down-below microphone has stuck out in public discourse much more than his music. "Hero" schmero — Enrique proves that if you really want to make an impact, you should talk about your him-hang.
The latest word from Enrique is that he’s "huge," but that’s a recent development. Enrique’s public peen powwow started in October 2005, when he "mock seriously" told a Houston Press reporter: "The next product I’m gonna put my name on is extra-small condoms. I can never find extra-small condoms, and I know it’s really embarrassing for people — you know, from experience. Hopefully people won’t be ashamed when I step forward." But it turned out that no one was more ashamed than Enrique.
Hilary Duff recently shared her thoughts on the turn Britney Spears‘ life has taken, saying Spears’ breakdown was "inevitable." Apparently, in between cutting pop music that’s neither popular nor musical and choosing a succession of film roles that’s the celluloid equivalent of walking through a house with dog crap on your shoe, Hilary is a behavioral expert. Who knew? Says Hils:
"Being Britney Spears must be difficult. She’s been told what to do since she was young. She’s not a bad mom – she’s a first-time mom, and because she’s famous, she’s expected never to make mistakes. The pressure she’s under would get to anyone. People need to leave her alone."
Hilary, who’s also been told what to do since she was young, says she fears for her own emotional well-being. "I’m not going to stop doing what I love because I’m afraid of breaking down," she adds. Atta girl, Hils. Keep doing what you’re doing! You’re gonna look so hot with a shaved head one day, when you’re a little older! [The Post Chronicle / Image credit: Getty]
Akon thinks he’s above the law. The Senegalese-American was excoriated in the press for tossing a fan off the stage at an upstate New York show last Sunday. Since video of the incident hit YouTube, there have been several other significant developements. First, when Akon threw the 15-year-old into the crowd, he hit a 26-year-old woman named Abby Rosa. She suffered a concussion and wants Akon to make a public apology. Second, the 15-year-old whom Akon threw has been identified by police because his mother called the cops. How embarrassing. Third, Akon’s lawyer, Ben Brafman (formerly counsel for Diddy and Michael Jackson), released a statement to the press in which he declared that Akon did nothing wrong. What do you think? Should Akon have picked on someone his own size?
It’s too bad Simpson doesn’t have a strong man who’ll stick by her
through thick and thin. You know, someone like her ex-husband. Nick moved on a while ago with knife-lover and reformed wild child Vanessa Minnillo, and sources reveal that he’s standing by his
live-in lady, fiercely defending her formerly flamboyant ways.
Oh Jess. Hindsight really is 20-20. Even with that Lasik surgery.
Check out video here of a smiling Simpson leaving an LA restaurant last night.
Last season’s disappointing ratings of American Idolhave started the rumor mill. If you believe the Interweb murmurs (and those of the National Enquirer), executives upset by Idol‘s viewership’s attrition — to Dancing With the Stars? come on, people! — may be not-so-quietly sharpening their knives for Paula Abdul and Randy Jackson. In their time of need, those in the brain trust at Fox have allegedly come up with a list of potential replacements for the two judges. Topping that list is disgraced pop star Britney Spears. And since Britney seems to have little else to do besides warning sunbathers against the dangers of jellyfish and mounting ill-conceived and poorly styled 12-minute "comeback" performances, we think this is a great idea. Go get ‘em, girl. That would be compelling television.
Nicole: Packin’ Pregnancy Pounds? After being photographed at a fertility clinic, rumors run rampant that the pin thin starlet is eating for two. [MSNBC] Paris On Silverman: An Effing B*tch Sarah cracked wise about Hilton on The MTV Movies Awards show. Now Paris is p*ssed. Good thing she has three weeks in the clink to cool down. [Us Magazine]
Desperate shock rocker Marilyn Manson‘s latest stop on the Crazytrain? DissingMy Chemical Romance. Manson tells The London Paper his song "Mutilation Is the Most Sincere Form of Flattery," featuring the lyrics "f*ck you, f*ck you," is directed at the Jersey goth rockers. Manson takes issue with the "sad, pitiful, shallow version" of Manson the band has affected. He then entreats the band, "If they want to identify with me, then here’s a razor blade. Call me when you’re done and we’ll talk."
Unfortunately, it seems that Mr. Brian Warner owns a glass house: He’s constructed his stage persona by ripping off Marilyn Monroe and Charles Manson, gotten his goth rock aesthetics from Alice Cooper, Trent Reznor and Ozzy Osbourne. Add to the list his stealing lengthy song titles from emo hearthrobs like Fall Out Boy, and Manson doesn’t have much room to speak. Most recently, he’s taken a page from recently divorced middle-aged men by dating someone half his age.
If you don’t believe Rihanna‘s hype even after seeing last Sunday’s MTV Movie Awards, then we don’t know how to help you. The 19-year-old "Umbrella" singer showed up Jay-Z with a choreographed routine where she was clad in fetish gear — basically what appeared to be a succession of belts. Fun.
Her third album, Good Girl Gone Bad, showcases more club-bangers and sensitive R&B balladry, but it’s her live performances we’re impressed by.
To see why you want to be under this girl’s umbrella-ella-ella any day-ay-ay, click the pics: