Hottie of the Week: Chris Brown

by (@katespencer)

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Photo_20x9_1 Chris Brown Pics

Chris Brown is not just one of the many multi-talented, teenage triple threats taking Hollywood by storm with their dancing, singing and acting skills. He’s perhaps the most talented of all — the epitome of superstar — and with an adorable smile to boot. With a hit album under his belt that’s already sold 3 million copies worldwide and his sophomore record dropping this week, Chris has got a lot to be smiling about. But if listening to his No. 1 tracks isn’t enough, fans can always catch Chris in the new movie This Christmas, which comes out in a few weeks. It’s one thing to be crazy successful, but to do it all by the time you turn 18 — that’s just straight up hot.

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Why Isn’t Diana Campanella Internet Famous Yet?

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Meet Diana Campanella, a 54-year-old artist based in Scottsdale, Arizona (according to her MySpace), who’s taken up a new hobby: posting videos of herself dancing to hi-NRG disco, freestyle and house music (among genres) on YouTube. She has the taste of a Jersey girl (Expos?, Shannon, Yaz and Madonna are all in her arsenal), the appearance of a hippie and the interpretive (if not absurdist) sense of motion of Kate Bush. She is, in a word, amazing. And also, she’s prolific: since joining YouTube in May, she’s posted 174 videos of herself shimmying, lip-synching and generally having a swell as she (awwwwww!) freaks out to the music.

So why isn’t hasn’t she achieved the level of fame that so many less-deserving flashes-in-the-online-pan have? Part of the problem is that she’s disabled the option to embed her videos on sites: to see her, you have to hit YouTube (here’s her profile as artemisbell and here’s a link to one of the highlights in her repertoire: her sweaty response to New Order’s “Blue Monday”). For word to get out on her, her links have to be passed around the old-fashioned way. Verdict’s still out if there’s a major place for her in our current world of in-line players. But if she’s not on our web pages, she’s at least forever embedded in our hearts.

Gwen and Jen Perform With The Kids

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The best-dressed baby in show biz took the stage last night with Gwen Stefani. At the final stop on her seemingly never-ending tour, Stefani trotted out her 17-month-old son Kingston to show him what she does every evening. Informing the crowd that he’s been on 35 flights (math majors, that’s slightly over two a month and more than I’ve been on in my life), she then unsuccessfully tried to get him to bid the audience “night-night.”

In other Future Spoiled Children news, J. Lo has canceled the final show of her joint tour with hubby Marc Anthony, slated for San Diego this weekend. Jenny With the Bump has yet to confirm her pregnancy.

Wednesday: Christina’s Baby Boy Joy

by (@katespencer)

christina-aguilera-1107.jpgChristina’s Planning for Baby Boy
…Or so the paparazzi thinks, as she was spotted shopping for lil’ boy clothes. Maybe she just wanted some super tight skinny jeans? [x17]

Is Lindsay?s Boyfriend Bashing Her Mom?
Rehabbed Riley claims someone is impersonating him on MySpace and hasn’t said a peep about Dina. Too bad – Fake Riley seems pretty damn smart. [E Online]

Diddy?s Fight Charges Get Dumped
The rapper will not faces charges for getting in a fight with a pal outside of an NYC nightclub this fall. He should punish himself by walking to Brooklyn to get us some cheesecake. Please? [NYDN]

Rosie?s Ready to Get Back on TV
Ro’s dropping hints that she wants back on your tube. Will she be better behaved when she’s Hasselbeck-free? [People]

Mandy Moore Caught Kissing Friends Star
Oh sure – Mandy Moore and Matthew Perry make complete sense as a couple. He’s like Zach Braff with wrinkles and a crappier career. [NYP]

Akon Dumped By (Almost) Wife #4

by (@katespencer)

akon-rachel.jpgWe can’t get enough of these gems from an interview with Rachel Ritfield, the woman who was to be Akon‘s fourth wife. Sadly, when push came to shove, the model just couldn’t force herself to walk down the aisle with the polygamous rapper. Rachel said, “I want a man who thinks that I’m God’s gift to creation and I can think the same of him.” Well then what was she doing with Akon in the first place? Isn’t he a notorious man ho? Apparently dry-humping underage fans can really turn a woman on. Rachel was not freaked out by the whole plural marriage thing at first, claiming “Akon was honest with me about his mutiple wives from the start, which never got in the way of our relationship because his wives live in various parts of the world, so I thought why fix it if it’s not broken?”

Fix what? Our culture’s attitude toward men who marry multiple women? Akon’s screwy relationships? Sadly, Rachel didn’t get the hint until Akon had kid number five with one of his wifeys. Rachel finally realized that Akon was still boning other chicks even though he acted like she was the only piece of ass in his life, and she bailed. “The one thing I wanted from Akon was for him to be monogamous to me but he could not grant me my wish,” she lamented.

Hang in there girl! There are plenty of other creepy-ass rich dudes just yearning for a hot model like yourself. You’ll get your wish! [Image: Rachel's MySpace]

Britney Sells a Whole Lotta Albums

by (@katespencer)

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By Guest Blogger Britney J. Spears

Take that, ya’ll! All you people said that just because I have stains on my shirt and eat Taco Bell for every meal and wear the same boots every day that my career was over, but guess what, it ain’t! Ha! My new album is at the top of the charts this week because I am sexy and awesome. I’ve sold 325,000 copies so far. That’s like, a big city of people! That’s probably as many people as in New York, or Disney World, or China! I am awesome! So awesome that I can park in handicapped parking, ya’ll! And it’s not because my acne counts as a handicap (even thought it should), it’s because I park where I feel like, and I don’t care I’m screwing someone who can’t walk out of a parking spot. I’m Britney, you handicapped b*tches!

Next time ya’ll feel like dissin’ me, just remember who is selling a butt load of albums without doing any promotional work for it whatsoever. No tour, no photoshoots, no nothing! I’ll I gotta do is hawk some perform and mess up my kids and you people fawn all over me freaking out. The joke is on you! Oh – that would make a really good album name. I gotta write that in my dream journal. Now if you’ll excuse me, my Hot Pockets are ready and I think I hear my dog barking. Oh – that’s Sean Preston. Oops.

Shakira: Exclusive Live Performance!

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Only a handful of performers exist in the hallowed first-name-only hall of fame, but Colombian bombshell Shakira proves her status in this exclusive clip from her upcoming Oral Fixation Tour DVD, out on November 13th. Find out which beloved hit Shakira powerfully performs. Get your lighters out!

Mr. Zep’s Busted Pinky On the Mend

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If you’re a hard rock fan, you now know that Jimmy Page’s recently fractured finger has pushed back the date of the much buzzed-about Led Zeppelin reunion. Ouch for him and ouch for fans who’d made travel plans to go to London in late November. The show’s current date is December 10, and last night, while accepting a lifetime recognition from the Classic Rock Awards in London, the superstar told reporters how his left pinky was hurt when he stumbled over a stone slab in his garden – at least there wasn’t a bustle in his hedgerow. The ever-popular guitarist’s finger was bandaged. Here’s what he said about the fall in a formal statement last Friday.
Page also mentioned that fans can expect the group to play “a lot of the songs that people really want to hear” at the upcoming show. I wonder which one he’s refering to? If you’d like to suggest some, or WIN TIX TO THE SHOW, make the jump and weigh in.

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Courtney Pulls Eminem, Cleans Out Closet

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courtney_loveA few months back, Courtney Love was reportedly planning an auction of deceased husband Kurt Cobain‘s possessions. Now the Widow Love has decided to clean out her own closet before selling her collection of flannel. According to the Lucky magazine blog, Ms. Love is auctioning off almost 150 pieces, with 10% of the proceeds going to L.A. homeless charity Chrysalis. So what can we expect to see from alterna-rock’s answer to Yoko Ono? Here’s what we think Love might be unloading:

47 pairs of ripped stockings
5 lipstick smeared babydoll dresses
Steve Coogan’s pajama bottoms
13 broken barrettes
1 Smashing Pumpkins t-shirt from their 1990 tour
Frances Bean

Tuesday: Pete Doherty Shoots Up on Tape

by (@katespencer)

pete-doherty-1106.jpgStar Jones Disses Teen Fans
The talk show host takes her diva-ness to a new level after she bailed on speaking to a group of underprivileged teenage girls because they weren’t able to raise the full $25,000 she demanded as payment. [NYDN]

Pete Doherty Back on Smack
Oh look, the consummate heroin addict is back on drugs – and he’s put it all on video in case there were doubts about his love for smack. [DListed]

Angelina Finally Snaps About Jen
Ms. Perfect snapped at a reporter who had the audacity to ask about her and Jen’s dueling magazine covers. Angie’s human after all! [DListed]

Oprah Goes YouTube Crazy
The Queen of Chat is now the Queen of the Internet – we expect an awesome breakdancing video or a ripoff of LonelyGirl15 any day now. [JustJared]

Spice Girls Debut Super Sexy Video
Even though they’re older and all have kids, the Girls are all sorts of sexy in their new vid. Still – what’s with all the leather underwear? [A Socialite's Life]