John Mayer: Sideburns On the High Seas

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You know how stars are: if they’re not happy, they jump on the celly with their babysitters and pitch a fit. We thought John Mayer was different – he’s a happy-go-lucky dude, no? But glue some seafaring captain’s whiskers on the side of his face and he gets all precious on you. We think he should sport those sideburns on through the end of ’08. Could bring a bit of gravitas to his artistic persona. This clip (it’s a goof, c’mon) will explain the whole thing.

If you’re a Mayer maven, you probably know that the costume is part of his promo campaign for the Mayercraft Cruise Sweepstakes, where you can win a few days buzzing around the Bahamas with JM himself, and pals such as Colbie Caillat and Brandi Carlile. You relax, they play some tunes, you hang with ‘em on the poopdeck.

Who Would You Rather: Pete, Carrot Top or a Cartoon Potato?

by (@katespencer)

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We checked out pics of Pete Doherty leaving court today looking all sorts of messed up (and sober, natch) and kinda had to wonder – would we hit it? Probably not, though throw in a couple other seedy options and we might. So in honor of our favorite game Who Would You Rather, we ask YOU dear reader, who would you rather get with? Sober, chunk-faced zit master Pete, the prop-loving monstrosity Carrot top, or this adorable cartoon potato we found using Google Image Search? Our pick has dreamy green eyes! [Getty]

What is Mariah Carey Thinking?

by (@katespencer)

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Oh yeahhhh, girl. The doctor got my order right! I told him to make my forehead as smooth as this giant perfume bottle, and he did. He really did. That’s what millions of dollars can get you. I better get a couple of million for this stinky-ass fragrance. Seriously, I’m letting these fools put my letter on this bottle, so it better be good. Mental note – talk to lawyer guy about copyrighting the letter M. Also, butterflies. Oh – I also gotta talk to that smelly wild animal zoo keeper guy about installing butterfly garden in my bedroom. Ugh, this is too much to remember. My brain needs an assistant. Is that possible?

Check out more pics below from Mariah’s unveiling of her new fragrance, “M,” last night in NYC.

[All Images: Getty]

Britney Spears Lives in Her Own World

by (@katespencer)

britney102407.jpg“Hi Britney. I’m your parenting coach. I’m here to watch you with your babies.”

“What babies?”

Surely that’s how the first meeting between Mama Brit and her parenting coach went – if you believe the latest report that her coach has bashed Britney in her report for the judge in her custody case with K-Fed. The coach’s complaints include:

  • Britney ain’t paying no attention to the coach and shows her little respect.
  • She’s often in “her own world,” distracted and unfocused.
  • She refuses to listen to anyone.
  • Britney’s secret language? is made up of five words that each stand for: Frappuccino, Cheetos, car, tanning and get f**ked up.

An inside source claims the report is “very damaging,” but what isn’t these days when Britney is involved? Can it be any worse than her new lips? Doubtful.? [Getty]

Paris’ New Flick: Date Movie for Serial Killers

by (@katespencer)

We’ve watched this clip a few times and still can’t quite make sense of what’s going on. Here’s what we do know: bad music, bad acting, bad plot and cheap, fake guts = BEST MOVIE OF THE YEAR! Paris Hilton has totally made the right move with this one. After only a few seconds of seeing the trailer for her new flick, Repo! The Genetic Opera, I finally am taking her seriously. Serious about never seeing her act and sing in a black wig while wielding a knife. The only thing I am looking forward to is watching her and Mischa Barton battle it out for worst career choice of the year. At least that’ll be kind of hot. [via DListed]

Seal Has a Big Penis

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Heidi Klum got to see what she’d be working with right up front, when she first met her hubbylover Seal. On Thursday’s already-filed episode of Oprah, Heidi details her first encounter with the scarred singer:

I met him in a hotel lobby in New York City and he came in just from the gym and I was sitting there and I was, like, wow.

Why “wow”? For you see, Seal was wearing spandex shorts. “And I pretty much saw everything,” says Heidi. “The whole package.”

Suddenly their relationship makes so much more sense. I mean, you don’t really think she fell for him because of his face, do you? [People.com / Image credit: Getty]

Wednesday: Nicole Kidman’s Pricey Flop

by (@katespencer)

nicolekidman1024.jpgHeidi Klum and Seal: Singing Together?
Just what we never wanted to see – Heidi Klum singing with her hubby. Next up: Seal aufs a bunch of designers. [Us]

Nicole Kidman?s Career in the Toilet?
With a bunch of bad films under her belt and her new fantasy flick (that cost $175 million to make) already getting trashed in the press, it might be time for Nicole to stop botoxing her face and stick a little juice in her career. [NYP]

Brit Leaves Back Up Dancers Unpaid
Big surprise – Britney still owes her VMA dancers some cash for their work. Starbucks is expensive ya’ll! [Us]

Baby Shiloh Travels in Style
Shiloh’s spoiled and has already seen more of the world in 17 months than we’ll see in our lifetimes. But at least our parents let us eat sugar cereals! [Ok]

The Many Faces of Lindsay?s New Man
Isn’t it cute how Riley Giles looks totally hot in every one of his four mugshots?! Zexy! [TMZ]

Mary J: Video Premiere Tomorrow!

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blige.jpg
Mary J Blige made her name on articulating drama and storming around with eloquence, but damn, everyone’s got a sunny side sometimes. “Just Fine,” the lead track from her forthcoming Growing Pains, finds the singer bouncing a bit faster than usual, and declaring just how well things are going. It’s fairly irresistible. “No time for moping around,” she coos, “no time for negative vibes,” ultimately rocking an “ooooh” that rivals Michael Jackson‘s classic exclamations.

Growing Pains features collabos with Maroon 5 and Ne-Yo. But “this isn’t about throwing junk together. I want to amaze people,” she told Blender. “I’m constantly looking toward the new kids, like Rihanna, for inspiration; keeps me on my game.”

VH1 is premiering the “Just Fine” video on Thursday morning, starting at 6 am. Catch it once an hour through 10 am. Here’s a little tease from the Queen of Hip-Hop Soul herself. Get the big picture in Mary J’s Box Set.

Hot Searches: Cholos and Tequila

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Through an algorithm we keep under lock and key at our editorial labs, we have collected info on the search behavior of our savviest pop music fans. Here’s a selective guide for VH1.com queries covering Oct 15 through Oct. 21.

Down AKA Kilo Leans Like a Cholo

The Cholo Phenomenon

For months, countless users have been typing “Lean Like a Cholo” into our search box. This single from the Down AKA Kilo (pictured above) album Definition of an Ese was released last April. Our algorithm, advanced as it is, fails to explain the song’s high popularity relative to its unimpressive position at No. 53 on Billboard’s Hot 100 chart. But we’re guessing video spoofs related to the song (? la gangsta chipmonks and cholas) may be keeping interest strong.

Read more…

Hottie of the Week: Carrie Underwood

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Carrie Underwood
Photo_20x9_1 All Hottie Pics

American Idol winner Carrie Underwood is the 24-year-old pop-country singer with a mane of blond, blond hair and plenty of attitude. She has the honor of being the fastest-selling debut country artist in the entire history of everything, which should tell you a little something about how much down-home folks appreciate her musical sensibilities and pretty looks. But she’s not just for country and pop fans, either. Because she’s been a vegetarian since she was 13, she was named by PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) as the “World’s Sexiest Vegetarian” in 2007. Victoria’s Secret called her this year’s “Sexiest Female Musician.” People magazine named her to their 50 most beautiful list. And her work visiting American troops in Iraq on USO tour has endeared her to practically everyone. What do you think? Sexiest do-gooder alive? Bono and Al Gore aren’t pretty enough for that award.

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