No Booze Means Beyonce’s Having a Baby!

by (@katespencer)

beyonce-jay.jpg

Gasp! Beyonce “only drank water” at Kanye West‘s concert after-party here in NYC last week. B normally likes to nurse a glass or two of champagne while out on the town, but this time she swore off the booze. Well obviously, this is a sure sign that she MUST be knocked up. Other things that Beyonce did that night that surely prove she’s preggers?

  • touched her stomach
  • wore a slightly baggy shirt
  • held hands with her husband Jay-Z
  • went to the bathroom
  • ate dinner
  • laughed
  • applied lip gloss

OMG. It’s true. She MUST be pregnant – all signs point to yes! [NY Post]

R. Kelly Trial Forecaster: Defense Starts Off Whack

by

r-kelly-1.jpg
(The VH1 Blog knows very little about the law. So we’ve solicited Mark Muro, a founder of the California law firm Muro & Lampe, Inc., to keep a running tab on which side has the advantage in the R. Kelly child pornography trial. Check back daily for updates.)

The pied piper of R&B, R. Kelly, finally had his child pornography trial open in Chicago six years after he was initially indicted. His defense? A case of mistaken identity. “Robert Kelly is not on that tape,” Kelly?s attorney, Sam Adam Jr., told the jury. “I stand before you on May 20, 2008, to tell you [R. Kelly] is not on that tape.” Adam claims that a mole on Kelly’s back will prove the singer’s innocence. Adam also claims that the alleged victim (whom he referred to as a “wonderful person”) is not in the tape; but instead, a paid prostitute. The defense appears to involve a claim of two layers of mistaken identity.

The tape was played for the jury this afternoon over Adam?s objection. In light of the contention that the tape provides visual evidence that Kelly is not depicted in the tape, I’m confused as to the attempts to keep the tape out of evidence. Seeing as the video is widely known as “The R. Kelly Sex Tape,” the defense better hope that the jurors have been living under a rock for the last six years. I anticipate the making of yet another closing argument culminating in a rhyme ala O.J. Simpson’s lawyer. (“If the glove don’t fit you must acquit.”) Here’s a couple of suggestions: “With no mole on the back, the prosecution’s case must crack” or “No mole on the back, the case is whack.” — Mark Muro

Score:
Defense = -1
Prosecution = 0

Nas Drops Controversial N Word Title

by

nasAs we informed you a month ago, Queens-born rapper Nas opted to name his upcoming July 1st release N*gger, in a move that shocked the public and polarized the hip-hop community. Many, including his label head, Jay-Z and Al Sharpton, felt compelled to speak out on the title.

Now Nas himself is finally discussing his controversial choice, and possibly changing it. In an interview with MTV, Nas explained the title is still up in the air, given the amount of pressure he’s received from his record label. “Everybody is trying to stop the title….Record stores are gonna have a problem in this day and time selling a record with that title. Who knows what’s gonna turn out and be on that title? Who knows what that title will be?”

In yet another statement issued yesterday, however, Nas sounded even more pressured, and had a cryptic message to convey to his fans: “The people will always know what the real title of this album is and what to call it.”

Lindsay Loves a Good Lawsuit

by (@katespencer)

lindsay-sue.jpgThat crazy-eyed socialite, Masha Markova, who accused Lindsay Lohan of taking her fur coat is now suing the actress, calling her “oppressive and malicious.” Ouch! We’re sure it was extremely emotionally traumatizing to be separated from her fancy coat for a few weeks, and her suit claims that as “has been injured by the defendant’s actions.” She is seeking money, of course, though no amount has been listed (Masha previously said she wanted $10,000). We’re gonna guess that LiLo is probably thrilled with the suit, as she can possibly turn it into a new career. Forget movies – this is a lot easier, and with the same amount of paparazzi attention!

Gossip Break: Whit’s Nip Slip

by (@katespencer)

whitney-port.jpgWhitney Port popped her lady hills out while lunching at The Ivy. Link NSFW, obvs.?? [ONTD]

Shiloh Jolie-Pitt loves to shop with her pops.? [DListed]

Lilo looks good on Ugly Betty.? [Seriously? OMG!]

Kate Hudson rebounds from Owen Wilson with lady lover Lance Armstrong.? [I'm Not Obsessed]

Carrie Underwood‘s wig-like hair: hot or not? Real or not?? [ICYDK]

Britney Spears is rockin’ the bikini and ridin’ ATVs in Costa Rica. Keepin’ it real(ly trashy)!? [IDLYITW]

Diddy Hosts a Den of D Listers

by (@katespencer)

diddy-party.jpg

Diddy ruled the night this weekend out at the Connecticut casino/resort Foxwoods, where he helped to welcome the new, $700 million MGM Grand Casino with a celeb-studded bash. The only problem? The “celebs” were resident D-Listers like Top Models Jaslene and CarriDee, and our favorite lady of the night, Kim Kardashian. Peep the pics below to see who showed.

Dina Lohan Ruins Her Mini-Me Daughters

by (@katespencer)

We could not be more excited for what is sure to be the best trash on television, Living Lohan. Yes, it’s Dina Lohan‘s reality show about managing her daughter Ali while she watches as her eldest daughter Lindsay‘s career turns to crap. In other words: comedy gold! Check out this sneak peak of the ep; you’ll learn to love the sick way it makes you feel – promise!

Rihanna to Sell Skanky Skivvies

by (@katespencer)

rihanna-main-2.jpg

RiRi is quite the entrepreneur! Our songbird/umbrella saleslady/Chris Brown‘s secret lover is looking to launch her own underwear line and rake in some cash. “There might be a clothing line on the horizon, maybe underwear,” Ri has said. This new venture should be super easy as Rihanna wears outfits that resemble underwear already! For inspiration, we suggest she check out some of the pics below.

Mariah Carey’s Going Wedding Crazy

by (@katespencer)

mimi-wedding.jpgUh oh - Nick Cannon has created a monster, a monster who is busy planning a massive second wedding to her new young lover! Yikes. A big-mouthed source blabbed some of the details of Mariah Carey‘s second big day, alleging that Naomi Campbell is on the wedding guest list (she’ll be throwing Blackberries instead of bouquets). The spy also said that, ?She wants over 2,000 guests and the budget will be well over $4 million and she?ll have at least 14 bridesmaids.? Hot damn! That’s not a party, that’s a parade!

Wedding #2 is supposedly taking place here in NYC over the next six weeks, so we’ll be on watch. If you see a giant white blob floating toward you (perhaps riding on a giant butterfly?), look out! Mrs. Mimi’s getting married, and it should be a sight to behold. [MSNBC]

Ash & Pete Say I Do, Confess Pregnancy

by (@katespencer)

simpsons.jpg

Here comes the bride, blah blah blah blahhhh. Shocker of the century! Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are now husband and wife, and sealed the deal in a backyard ceremony at her parents’ house on Saturday. You think Ash might have learned from her big sister’s early mistake marriage to Nick Lachey (which ended in divorce) but instead she asked Jess to be her maid of honor. Ash wore Monique Lhuillier, Jess was decked in Vera Wang, and guest Nicole Richie showed up in a stunning a purple gown. Pretty! The guests were asked to wear dark colors to match the theme of the wedding, which was Alice in Wonderland. Ashlee also announced to her guests that she was four months pregnant, to which the 150 people replied, “No sh*t!”

The best part of the wedding weekend was not the nuptials, but that Papa Joe Simpson – who officiated the wedding – begged Tony Romo to attend the wedding as Jessica’s date, even though he allegedly dumped her last week. The good guy footballer escorted his ex, and served as a wonderful reminder that if Ash and Pete’s marriage ends in the D word, things can only get worse. The lesson of the day? Love stinks. But seriously, congrats guys! [US]