Monday: Paris Hilton Gets Her Federline On

by (@katespencer)

parishilton_108.jpgEddie Murphy Weds Babyface?s Ex
He’ll be picking up trannie hookers in 6 months and divorced in a year. But we’re sure their Bora Bora wedding was worth it! [People]

Heroes stars Milo Ventimiglia and Hayden Panetierre are Doing It
He’s 30-something. She’s barely legal. Together, they’re “Panetimiglia.” Or “Halo.” Whichever’s easier to say. [People]

Katherine Heigel Marries in Fugly Dress
Her new movie 27 Dresses mocks bad wedding fashion; Katherine rocked a bizarre, poofy gown for her recent nuptials. Art imitates crap. [PageSix]

Paris Hilton Macks Brit?s Ex
The heiress was spotted flirting with K-Fed at Vegas bash. At least trash is easier to clean up with it’s together. [Us]

Heidi Montag Ruins Face with Lip Work
Continuing on her quest to be even more famous for doing nothing, plastic surgery-loving Hills star Heidi is rocking newly enhanced deformed lips. [DListed]

2007 Celeb Crazy Talk: Kanye, Sherri & Crocker

by (@katespencer)

celebquoteheader.jpg

Famous people say the darnedest things, and this year was no exception! We’re honoring the craziest sh*t to come out of their restylane-enhanced mouths this year, and bringing you our fifteen favorite celebrity quotes of 2007.

  • “That’s two years in a row, man … give a black man a chance, I’m trying hard man, I have the … No. 1 record, man.” - Kanye West freaking out backstage at the VMAs.
  • ?Everyone now says I have a fake butt or butt implant. I?m Armenian; you should see all the women in my family. The women have bigger breasts and bigger butts. That?s how I was born. I can?t help it. I?m not gonna fight it.? - Kim Kardashian, discussing her infamous ass.
  • ?At the end of the video, we?re kissing and it?s raining blood?and for me, that was one of the most romantic moments of my entire life.? - Evan Rachel Wood, describing the ‘sexiness’ of music video making with her boyfriend Marilyn Manson.
  • ?Leave Britney alone!? - YouTube sensation Chris Crocker, defending his best girl.
  • ?I don?t know if the world is flat.? - The View co-host Sherri Shepherd, articulating some controversial geographical views.

2007′s Craziest: Amy Winehouse Wigs Out

by (@katespencer)

amywinehouse2007.jpg
Watching Amy Winehouse go from top of the charts to coked-up and bloodied was one of the saddest downward spirals of the year (Paris Hilton‘s demise, however, is another story). But it’s the end of the year, and we’ve run out of ways to turn her song “Rehab” into a witty pun that accentuates her actual need to get her ass locked up and detoxing, stat. In truth, the year of Winehouse has just made us feel kind of hopeless and sad. It’s no fun watching someone whose talent leaves you awestruck abandon their gifts for a full-blown drug addiction; it’s even worse when they’re doing it covered in blood. Let’s hope Amy’s New Year’s resolution involves less snorting and more self-care, and maybe a little bit of singing too.

Related Content
Amy Arrested! Finally with her Man!
Amy’s Mom Makes A Tabloid Plea
Kanye West & Amy Winehouse Lead Grammy Nominees
Amy Winehouse Strips Down!
Winehouse: Bloody Face, Slashed-up Hubby

Britney’s Worst Year Ever: December

by

Britney_SpearsNo one could have imagined a mere 12 months ago that Brit would create such glorious new nonsense every week. Some of the craziness escapes you? Here’s our recount.

December 1 ? Even Celebrities Drunk Dial ? Britney hits the Scandinavian Mansion of Style [Ed: WTF?] to celebrate her 26th birthday with her two remaining friends, cousin/enabler Ali Sims and creepy new hanger-on Sam Lufti. Shortly after Paris Hilton joins the crew, she lends Britney her cell phone so she can call ex-husband Kevin Federline. Brit pleads with K-Fed to join them, but someone has to stay home and watch the kids. Britney becomes infuriated, and reportedly hangs up on him. [NY Post]

December 5 ? Shady Associates ? Brit pal and constant companion Sam Lufti apparently has quite the shady past. With two restraining orders and no discernible career (Lufti had claimed to be a film producer), Brit?s family fears for the singer?s safety. One source blabbed to UsWeekly: ?She?s so desperate for a friend.? [Us Weekly]

December 12 ? Calling In Sick to Court ? Ten minutes after a scheduled deposition began, Spears called and informed her representation that she was ill and unable to attend. Later that day, Brit?s creepy consort Sam Lufti called E! and told them that due to the media frenzy, Brit?s anxiety ?sky rocketed,? and she was unable to pull it together and face the same paparazzi and reporters she?s been courting for almost a decade. [Us Weekly]

December 19 ? Crazy Runs In The Family ? In an impressive show of sisterly love, 16-year-old sister Jamie Lynn steps up and takes some of the media pressure off her sister by announcing her own pregnancy on the cover of OK! Magazine. While her parents were shocked and appalled, and the younger Spears confesses to being ?scared,? she?s decided to keep the baby. When questioned by TMZ, Britney initially had no idea her sister was in a family way. [OK! Magazine]

Related Content
Britney Spears Artist Info
Brit’s 16-Year-Old Sis Is Pregnant!!!
Who Strips Better? Spears or Lohan?
Brit Bombs on the VMAs

2007 Celeb Crazy Talk: Dog, LiLo & Brit

by (@katespencer)

celebquoteheader.jpg

Famous people say the darnedest things, and this year was no exception! We’re honoring the craziest sh*t to come out of their restylane-enhanced mouths this year, and bringing you our fifteen favorite celebrity quotes of 2007.

  • “Eat it, lick it, snort it, fuck it!? - Britney Jean Spears, snapping at reporters at her custody hearing.
  • I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so because some people out there in our nation don’t have maps?? - Miss Teen South Carolina, answering the greatest pageant question of all time.
  • “I was really up for some peace and love that morning. I wasn’t up for being called a c*** and being kicked in the head.? - Druggie rocker Pete Doherty after getting dumped by model girlfriend Kate Moss.
  • ?I wasn?t driving, the black kid was.? - Lindsay Lohan, after getting pulled over for her coke-fueled, road ragin’ car chase.
  • “There’s a special connection that I thought I had between me and black America. And I used to say, ‘I’m black, too.’ In other words, my whole life I’ve been called a half-breed, a convict, king of the trailer trash, this and that?so when I stood there and said, ‘I kind of know what you feel like, because I’ve been there, too,’ that I felt that I could embrace and like, as brothers?say the word. I now learned I’m not black at all, and I never did it out of hate.” - Dog the Bounty Hunter, defending his use of the ‘N Word’ in a leaked rant.

Britney’s Worst Year Ever: November

by

britney_spears

You were there through the bad driving, the head-shaving, and the Criss Angel thing. It?s been a tough year for our girl. No one could have imagined a mere 12 months ago that she?d create such glorious new nonsense every week. Some of the craziness escapes you? Come back every day: We?re counting down the events that made up the Year in Britney.

November 14 ? Inhalers and Car Seats ? Spears failed one of her mandatory drug tests, which were put in place as a stipulation of her custody agreement. The drug Provigil ? which is used to treat narcolepsy — was found in her system. Just two days later, a judge ruled that Britney is prohibited from driving with her children in the car. [Access Hollywood]

November 18 ? Natural Born Hustler ? Spears made a stop at the Hustler Store, purveyor of sexy lingerie and sex toys, after midnight. When the pop star attempted to try on the underwear she?d selected, store staff informed her that due to the laws of society and the rules of hygiene, she was not allowed. The star then stripped down in the middle of the store in front of 15 customers. When asked to pay, the late-night skivvy shopper rolled her eyes, and snatched a pink wig as she walked out. [Us Weekly]

November 20 ? Like A Virgin, Only Not ? Just two days after her bizarre episode at the Hustler store, Us Weekly wages all out tabloid war, publishing a report that Spears lost her virginity at the tender age of 14, and not to Timberlake, which she?d always maintained. The magazine also revealed several family skeletons in its cover story on the fallen star, chiefly that depression runs in the Spears family, and Britney?s grandmother had committed suicide after her infant son died. [Us Weekly]

November 28 ? Knocked Up? ? InTouch reports that Britney is in a family way, by producer JR Rotem. Rotem was one of the pop star?s first suitors following her separation from Federline, and confessed to Blender magazine that he?d ?f*cked her wheelbarrow style.? InTouch reports that Rotem had confirmed the pregnancy, but Britney pal Sam Lufti quickly quashed the rumor, calling it ?B.S.? [JustJared]

November 28 ? Britney?s Very Own Wonderland ? On the same day the pregnancy allegations broke, Star magazine had a cover story on Britney?s ?Fantasy Room.? Apparently Brit has a room in her house dedicated solely to her kinky sex hobby. Within the mirror-ceilinged room are ticklers, spanking paddles, fur-trimmed handcuffs, costumes and pictures lining the walls of the pop star in a variety of lewd positions. Apart from the double-locked fantasy room, the spy also claimed that Brit?s house is a mess, with feces-stained couches. [Star Magazine]

Related Content
Britney Spears Artist Info
Brit’s 16-Year-Old Sis Is Pregnant!!!
Who Strips Better? Spears or Lohan?
Brit Bombs on the VMAs

2007′s Craziest: Kanye vs. Fiddy

by (@katespencer)

50cent-kanye-2007.jpg
Two of the music world’s biggest stars, Kanye West and 50 Cent, went at it old school in a battle of words over whose new album – both of which dropped on September 11th – would sell more records. The guys threatened a televised debate over whose album was better, and 50 even claimed that he’d retire from making albums if Kanye beat him with a bestseller, saying “They would like to see Kanye West give me a problem, because I?ve worked myself into a space where I?ve become the favorite. Everybody roots [for] the underdog when he goes against the favorite.” In the end, Kanye kicked Fiddy’s ass, but not before a Rolling Stone cover of the two cemented their feud as a fan favorite. And even though 50 eventually called it out as a stunt, their battle brought some of the fun, the spunk and the street back to an industry saturated with songs about bling, boobs and Bentleys.

Related Content
Kanye West Artist Info
50 Cent Artist Info

While You Were Having a Life…

by

If you were too busy stuffing your face with junk to stuff your brain with gossip and entertainment news over the past few days, have no fear: we’ve rounded up the biggest pop-culture stories that happened over the long weekend. The following is all you need to know about what happened when you were on holiday or just too lazy to turn on the computer:

jay-z_roundup.jpgJay-Z Quit Def Jam – Then one foggy Christmas Eve, Jay-Z came to day, “Beyonc?, with your nose so bright…” Kidding! But Jay really did announce on the 24th that he’s leaving his post as president of Def Jam. There wasn’t much by way of explanation: in the vague wording of his official statement, he’s looking to “take on new challenges.” Bizarrely, he plans to keep recording for the label. If his history with retiring is any indication, expect him back in that leather seat and chomping on a cigar within a year’s time. [E! News]

Katherine Heigl Married – Bland led the bland as the world’s most inexplicable movie star met her singing, songwriting beau Josh Kelley at the aisle Sunday in Park City, Utah. And when they get divorced it will be just as uninteresting! [People]

Lindsay Lohan Turned Out To Be a Sex Addict - I knew she was too good in I Know Who Killed Me to be acting! [News of the World]

Michelle Rodriguez Spent Christmas in Jail – At least someone would have her over. [Us Weekly]

A Woman Was Arrested for Taking a Picture of R. Kelly in Court - And then he peed on her. [Yahoo!]

Will Smith Maybe Said Something Questionable About Hitler…? – On the goodness of human nature, Will Smith reportedly told a Scottish paper: “Even Hitler didn’t wake up going, ‘Let me do the most evil thing I can do today.’ I think he woke up in the morning and using a twisted, backwards logic, he set out to do what he thought was ‘good’. Stuff like that just needs reprogramming.” So, maybe it was foolish of him to attempt to get into Hitler’s brain in the first place, but whatever — he didn’t say that Hitler was good, he said that Hitler was deluded. The distinction was, apparently, lost on the Jewish Defense League who said that Will’s words “spit on the memory of every person murdered by the Nazis.” O RLY? The outcry caused Will’s rep to proclaim the allegations “a lie.” “It speaks to the dangerous power of an ignorant person with a pen.” So, wait, he didn’t say that, then? Sorry, I can’t hear anything over the Christmas carols and rustling of wrapping paper. [TMZ.com]

Britney Spazzed at the Paparazzi – For some, it’s the most wonderful time of the year. For others, it’s just business as usual. [TMZ.com]

[Image credit: Getty]

2007 Celeb Crazy Talk: Rosie, Paris & Alec

by (@katespencer)

celebquoteheader.jpg

Famous people say the darnedest things, and this year was no exception! We’re honoring the craziest sh*t to come out of their restylane-enhanced mouths this year, and bringing you our fifteen favorite celebrity quotes of 2007.

  • ?Big, fat, lesbian, loud Rosie attacks innocent, pure, Christian Elisabeth.? - Rosie O’Donnell, during her final fight with Elisabeth Hasselbeck before quitting The View.
  • ?Dogfighting is a terrible thing?? - Michael Vick, reading a statement after pleading guilty to federal charges of dog fighting.
  • “It was just crazy?one of the most terrifying moments of my life. I don’t know how to explain what happened. I don’t really know myself. I can’t remember what I looked like. I couldn’t recognise myself. It was terrifying?I was terrified. I was so out of control. It just happened. It shocked me. I’m sorry?I just don’t know what got into me.” - Amy Winehouse, describing her summer drug binge and overdose.
  • “You’re a thoughtless little pig.” - Dad of the year Alec Baldwin to his 12-year old, in the venomous voicemail heard around the world.
  • “They say when you reach a crossroad or a turning point in life, it really doesn’t matter how we got there, but it’s what we do next after we got there. Usually you arrive there by adversity, and then it is then and only then that we find out who we truly are and what we’re truly made of. It’s a process, a gift and a journey, and if we can travel it alone, although the road may be rough at the beginning, you find an ability to walk it. A way to start fresh again. It’s neither a downfall nor a failure, but a new beginning.” - Paris Hilton, reading some of the stunning prose she wrote while behind bars for three weeks.

2007′s Craziest: It’s Barely Britney, B*tch

by (@katespencer)

britney-spears-2007.jpg
No matter how many times Lindsay left rehab or how many tears Paris shed in prison, 2007 belonged to Britney Spears. And nothing – NOTHING – solidified her complete transition from teen star to train wreck more than her botched performance at the MTV VMAs in September. The sequined bikini, the dead look in her eyes, her stumbled dance moves and half-assed attempt at lipsyncing all sealed the deal. It was truly too much for most people to stomach. The whole world was rooting for a comeback, and well – we got one. After that five-minute mess, the world gave up on Britney because Britney gave up on Britney. And that, my friends, should be a used as a lyric in a song on her next album, permitting that she actually gets out of her Frappu-coma and heads back into the recording studio.

Related Content
Britney Spears Artist Info
Brit’s 16-Year-Old Sis Is Pregnant!!!
Who Strips Better? Spears or Lohan?
Brit Bombs on the VMAs