American Idol: Kristy Lee’s Year as a Dog

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There’s no better decade than the ’80s to underscore this week?s theme: humiliating-memories. The American Idol performances avoided that era’s gaudy glamor and glitz, favoring tamer, safer song choices. Filmed confessions of our contestant?s ?most embarrassing moments ever!? were equally tame (with the exception of canine-crazy Kelly). Unfortunately for a few of our favorites (Ramile and Amanda), tabloids and snoopy Web surfers did the probing for them. For sure, digging up the past can profoundly affect the present. While some of our contestants remained as boring as ever, others — in true Breakfast Club style — exhibited noticeable changes in attitude and style after a week of confessions, exultation and humiliation. It?s like everything?s totally changed now. Let?s take a look:

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New Snoop Sneak: Sexual Healing

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You know about Snoop‘s upcoming episode of VH1 Storytellers, right? It’s taping next week in Brooklyn and airs on March 31. It follows up cool performances we did with Jay-Z and Mary J, and it parallels the arrival of Ego Trippin’, the Doggfather’s latest, which hits the racks next Tuesday. If you want to get a jump on the deal, check the stream of “Make It Good,” a Trippin’ track that finds our hero offering some sex advice to any playa looking to woo a special girlie.

“If you hit it, then you gotta hit harder than any other brother – the Karma Sutra be the author. Be the man who made her never want to see another man. One shot to pop/better hit the spot.” Yep, Snoop’s gone loverman. ?It was important to give the audience another side of me,? he has said. ?It can?t be all gangsta all the time.? No it can’t. Remember how he got all ’70s porno on us in the sugar-shit sharp clip for “Sensual Seduction”? Sure you do.

Biggie Biopic Actor Cast

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Way back in August, we told you about the Biggie Smalls biopic Notorious that Fox Searchlight was looking to cast. The film, all about the life and times of Christopher Wallace, held an open casting call in October, which hundreds of wanna-Bigs attended.

Now, The Hollywood Reporter is reporting that the role of Big will be played by Jamal Woolard, a widely unknown Brooklyn rapper who attended the open casting call. Apparently, Woolard (also known as Gravy) shares more with the deceased rapper than physical size. Woolard, a former drug dealer, has released a few rap albums, and according to Biggie’s mother, has the same “charming personality, warm spirit, wonderful sense of humor and beautiful smile” as Big. Derek Luke (Antwone Fisher) has been cast as Puffy, while Angela Bassett will play Big’s mom. Anthony Mackie (Half Nelson) will play Big’s rival Tupac.

Janet’s New Vid: Kylie Locked in a Club?

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BET premiered Janet Jackson‘s clip for “Rock With U.” The song has overtones of Australian club-queen Kylie Minogue, and the video’s set in a club (or sound stage, let’s be honest) that recalls a futuristic mental hospital/the well-designed drum ‘n’ bass nightspots of decades past. Janet herself is looking fairly fly, dressed in an outfit that looks a little like what might happen if Project Runway winner Christian Siriano did fetish wear. Would Christian collaborate with Janet? We suspect so, yes. Jackson is currently topping the charts with her provocative Discipline. To see other Janet videos — and watch her comment on them — check out our fresh Box Set.

Thursday: Avril’s Complicated Clothes

by (@katespencer)

avrillavigne.jpgAvril Lavigne Thinks She Can Design
The singer’s creating a line of rocker clothes for girls so you can dress just like her. Attitude problem not included. [Us]

Jamie Lynn Spears Back on TV
Brit’s pregnant teen sis will guest star on Ashton Kutcher’s new show Miss Guided. Not that Jamie-Lynn is or anything. [People]

We Got it All Wrong! Jen Aniston Dumped Brad, Okay?
We are we still talking about a break-up that happened years ago!? Brennifer is way over, even if it is cool to know that she dumped his maybe-cheatin’ ass. [DListed]

Britney and Her Dance Students: BFF!
Awwww. This pic of Britney and some of her little dance pupils is just too cute. [TMZ]

Fashion WTF: All Signs Point to Bad Taste

by (@katespencer)

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Lindsay’s career may be “back on track,” but her fashion choices are as poor-planned as ever. At a recent event celebrating her current Paper magazine cover, Linds showed up decked out like a Wall Street trader on top, with a fugly skirt surely deemed by someone close to her as cutting edge. Perhaps it was created by her pal Jeremy Scott, the fashion designer who shot the cover, but we have no idea, as all our clothes are from last year’s sale rack at Old Navy. Yet while our garb may be shabby, our eye for bad fashion is not. LiLo’s ensemble is an ensembleghhhhh.

[All images: Getty]

Kanye Needs A Connect Four in Every City

by (@katespencer)

kanyewest-0305.jpgTMZ got their hands on Kanye West‘s rider for his most recent concert tour, and his demands are, well, exactly what’d you expect. You can enjoy the entire 23 pages here, but why not just let us pick out the gems for you?

- There must be a masseuse at each show. Obvi. Big egos make for big back pains.

- A Connect Four game, if possible (The gang travels with one, but ya know – in case Kanye forgets it on his tour bus) .

- An entertainment center with an XBox 360, Playstation III and Guitar Hero. Fun!

- One bottle each of Hennessey, Sky or Absolut Vodka, Patron Tequila, plus six packs of Heineken and Stella Artois beer.

All food must be healthy and organic – NO fried food will be served. NONE! Kanye’s body is too precious for such things (alcohol excluded).

American Idol: The Men vs. the ’80s

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The stakes have never been higher on American Idol. The boys are down to 8, and with only ’80s week standing between them and the Final 12, the pressure?s on. The ’80s are a decade whose vogue hasn?t ended yet, but most of the guys opted for balladry, slow-tempo jams not entirely suited to the bombastic decade that brought the world Duran Duran, Culture Club and Madonna’s early singles. This week, the contestants’ video revelations of their most embarrassing moments brought more spark than most of their performances. Who will still be with us for Beatles Week? Let?s take a look.

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American Idol‘s Danny Noriega Hates You

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In an unfortunate turn of events, poor Danny Noriega (whose spin on “Tainted Love” last night was horrid) is appearing all over the Internets in a video (see above). In the 30-second clip, recorded some unspecified time ago, Noriega sings “We wish you a merry Christmas” before lapsing into vulgarity and insults. Specifically, he says he hopes that Santa rapes your mom. And so ends Mr. Noriega’s 14th minute. Tune into American Idol on Thursday night to see whether or not Simon and company will finish Noriega’s chance at stardom permanently.

Madonna Wants To Be Your Dog

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Rolling Stone tells us that The Stooges are going to be saluting their Motor City sister Madonna at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremonies next Monday night, March 10. (VH1 Classic is airing the entire show live at 8:30 pm.). Crazy, right? But crazy is good. What Madge track would you like to see Iggy and the boys rip apart? Let’s assume it isn’t “Papa Don’t Preach” and let’s hope it’s “Into The Groove.” And if you really want to be a dreamer, imagine a world where the Material Lady has a bit too much bubbly, heaves her yoga pad in the corner, and jumps on stage to help the boys ramrod through “Real Cool Time.”

Other heroes will celebrate their forebears, too. Damien Rice (read a classic interview here) will salute Leonard Cohen, James Cotton will evoke Little Walter, and Gamble & Huff? will get a tip of the hat from Patti LaBelle. Watch videos by some of the inductees.

Who are you psyched to see?