We like to think we have a sense of humor and “get” stuff, but this video, posted by Pete Wentz on his blog, makes no sense. In it, Pete concludes that he needs to take up the cause of illegal music downloading, and so he and his girlfriend Ashlee Simpson make a baby in protest. Get it? It’s some sort of sarcastic commentary on celebrity causes, apparently. Ashlee even makes a cameo, complete with a baby belly and a bag of Cheetos that is almost certainly a diss aimed at Britney Spears. Obviously the video’s a masterpiece, because everyone knows the Fall Out Boy bassist and his girlfriend are geniuses. Just listen to their music! We’re probably just too dumb to understand their hilarious, high-brow art form and message.
Of course some other people took the whole thing literally and assumed Ashlee was indeed knocked up. She’s not, obvs, but she might be engaged! The singer was spotted with some bling on that special finger, and she’s confirmed that it is a promise ring from her main man (Pete, not her dad). And you know what that means – a promise of more terrible videos to come!
Chris & Rihanna Sport Matching Ink
Did the couple get the same star tattoos on purpose, or is it just a coincidence? Either way, it’s adorable!? [SandraRose]
Jessica Alba Teased as a Kid for her Big Chest
Yes, even the pretty people suffered when they were little. We still don’t feel that bad for her.? [P6]
LAPD Confirms Brit BFF Investigation
How long is it going to take the police to realize they should totally arrest Sam Lutfi just for being super creepy?? [TMZ]
Kate & Owen are Doing It Again
But won’t Justin Timberlake get jealous?!? [Us]
Jessica Simpson Sings for Troops
The singer/actress/cheeseball is heading to Kuwait to perform for our men and women in uniform.? [Us]
Little Harlow Richie Madden is so cute, you almost forget her mom was driving on the wrong side of the freeway this time last year.? [DListed]
Everyone pray that Britney’s womb is free of Adnan’s seed!? [JustJared]
Look at this – it’s Rihanna and Chris Brown getting frisky on vacation in the Jamaica.? [P6]
Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson are back together. So can we blame her baby bump on him?[P6]
Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are publishing a book about their celeb influences which we will never read.? [People]
Don’t bother watching the next season of The Hills – all the good stuff is right here in this trailer.? [People]
We’re hoping that you already know about Justin Timberlake being the lucky guy to induct Madonna into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame on Monday, March 10 in NYC. Futurelovesexsounds will be coming from his mouth as he takes to the podium to with a speech regarding Madge’s impact on the 20th century. The Hall announced its list of inductors yesterday, and there are some cool match-ups. It’s Tom Hanks, the writer/director of the jangle-pop flick That Thing You Do, will welcome the Dave Clark Five. Lou Reed is set to wax poetic about the work of Leonard Cohen. Billy Joel will sing the praises of John Mellencamp. Ben Harper will give us a short history of blues harmonicat Little Walter. John Fogerty will praise the instrumental surf twang of the Ventures. Jerry Butler will salute the impact of Philly R&B kingpins Gamble & Huff.
VH1 Classic will be airing the show live on March 10. VH1 will show it on March 22. But there’s still a chance for you to be there in the flesh. You’ve got ONE more day to enter our sweepstakes and take in the whole deal first-hand. Fill out the forms, dude!
Here’s a string of photos of artists who are already in the Hall.
Someone needs to grab Ali Lohan by her freckly, bony shoulders and shake the sh*t out of her (gently). The tween actress – who will next be seen in her mom’s reality TV show, natch – gushed to Teen Vogue recently about her desire to be just like her super-dysfunctional big sister. ?I grew up watching Lindsay,” she said. “It made me want to do what she does. Just the whole vibe. Being there, being on camera, or onstage, with everybody listening to you … it’s so cool when people look up to you. I’ve already been asked for my autograph and it’s just a really good feeling to have.”
Poor baby. No one listens to her and she gets no love at home, so she’s gotta get it through her one fan. The 14-year old also said that she wants to be famous, “really bad, so bad. So bad you don’t even know.” Well, we do know. As bad as all the other celebrity siblings pictured above who also wanted it, who ended up knocked up, divorced, or arrested by the time they were 21. So before you run out and try to emulate your big sister’s career (if you can call it that) why don’t you give Solange Knowles a call and ask her how that’s going for her?? [People]
Poor Britney. The girl seems to be on the mend these days, and she even survived yesterday’s universal Starbucks closing without a glitch. Come to think of it, we haven’t seen her at her fave coffee haunt in weeks! If that doesn’t prove that Brit’s getting better, we don’t know what does. So it was a little frustrating to see the starlet get tossed around yesterday while trying to leave a Levi’s store in LA. Normally we’re in full support of Brit staying holed up in her house, but let’s be real – she needs some new jeans. Britney got stuck in the parking lot in a sea of paps until her bodyguard waded through the crowd to give her a good yank into her car. It’s amazing that her shoulder didn’t pop out! Seriously, where is Chris Crocker when you need him?
Janet Jackson, whose new Discipline disc exudes all things sexy (listen to the entire CD for free on Rhapsody), rocked yesterday’s Good Morning America performance in an outfit any righteous Puritan would love. At first we were perplexed by her look – why pull your giant pants up over your shoulders and fasten the whole thing with a massive leather belt when you’re as hot as Ms. J? But then we realized: girl is pulling all the stops to ensure that she remains free of any and all wardrobe malfunctions. And while we understand her concern, we’re gonna be honest – we love it when Janet’s clothes come off, because we love Janet, nipple slips and all. Watch a clip of the performance after the jump. What do you think of Janet’s latest look – love it or leave it?
Mischa Barton’s a DUI Diva
Her life continues to mirror a bad O.C. script. We have a feeling being a troubled waif isn’t as fun in real life as it is playing one on TV.? [People]
Pam Anderson Asks for Annulment
Pam is asking to erase her divorce from the record, but we’ll never forget that she married Paris Hilton’s sex tapin’ boyfriend. Never!? [Us]
Michael Jackson’s Loses Neverland Ranch
Goodbye ferris wheel. Farewell giraffes and lions. We knew it was too good – and too creepy – to last.? [Us]
Academy Awards to Whoopi : Whoops!
Omitting Goldberg from their montage of memorable moments was all a big mistake! Kind of like giving Crash that Best Picture nod a few years back.
Katie Holmes: Packin’ Baby Heat?
Katie is “glowing” and wearing loose-fitting dresses! She must be pregnant – or she just ate some really good Mexican food.? [Ok!]
Yesterday we snuck you a look at 45 seconds of Mariah’s new video for “Touch My Body.” With the dorky guy from 30 Rock, frisbees and lingerie pillow fights, we didn’t think it could get any more awesomely bizarre. We were wrong.
Each time the diva releases a new album, we learn something new about her. Here’s a few things we picked up from the video:
1. It’s totally fine to open your door to delivery men, technicians and other guests wearing little more than a bra and panties.
2. Mariah’s a worthy opponent at Laser Tag.
3. She raided Britney Spears‘ costume trailer from “Baby One More Time.”
4. She’s a total tech nerd, quite fluent in the language of upload times.
You know it’s a slow news day when Rachel Bilson‘s bangs are a big story, so what better time to take a break, sit back, and enjoy the many poses of Ice-T‘s wife Nicole “CoCo” Austin?! We’ve grabbed some of our favorite pics snapped recently of CoCo for you, including some of her workin’ it as hype-woman for her rapping hubby over New Years Eve weekend. But after marveling in the glory that is her butt, we’ve begun to wonder – is CoCo giving resident booty queen Kim Kardashian a run for her money? Have a look and see for yourself – the battle of the butts has just begun!
CoCo steps it up!
Kim’s infamous backside: