Photography: Amy V. Cooper/Wind Up Records
Now and then our Tour Survival Guide will check in with rockers about life on the road. Here’s lead singer Amy Lee on keeping her sanity with video games and tour hygiene.
When Bathing’s Not An Option
Makeup remover wipes and Wet Wipes in general. We’re constantly trying to refresh and get more. The tour is gross and you can only bathe half the time, and when you can’t bathe, you can always use a wet wipe. I always have to wear a lot of makeup on stage, so my face takes a beating.
Look Who’s Talking Now
Kirstie Alley came to a show recently — it was really cool. She said hi and we all took pictures. She was getting an autograph for her son. We all thought that was really, really cool.
Canadians love to make fun of Fergie. First Alanis Morissette made a funny Interweb video with her morose cover of ?My Humps.? Now super-rude sex rapper Peaches has created a video that mocks Alanis mocking Fergie. (It?s very meta, a distinctly Canadian state of mind.) It?s called ?My Dumps? and it?s not really safe for work, unless you work for the Department of Sanitation.
Who made the better spoof: Alanis or Peaches?
Akon put on quite a show at a recent concert in Trinidad. The guest-rapper du jour was allegedly running a dance contest wherein dancers would compete for a trip to Africa. Seven women competed, and immediately following, the winner was asked to compete against the "Africa" representative, who turned out to be Akon himself. The rapper then proceeded to graphically grind up against the girl for several seconds, flipping her around on the ground and onto the monitors.
Do you think Akon was inappropriate?
- Because it only makes total sense, Bono and Edge have maybe been tapped to write the lyrics and music for the upcoming Spider-Man musical. Here?s your competition, Wayne Coyne.
- The New York Times is reporting that Wang Chung and Twisted Sister are re-recording their hits. Not surprisingly, it?s a business deal. Hopefully this fad will catch on and we?ll be able to hear all-new old stuff by Tiffany. Wait. That already happened.
- Marilyn Manson?s first song from his new record is available for the listening on his MySpace page. It?s called ?If I Was Your Vampire,? and there?s very little doubt anywhere that the song?s addressed to his teenage squeeze, Evan Rachel Wood.
- Speaking of new songs, Radiohead have posted a clip of a song that may or may not make their upcoming album. Hey, fans, time to obsess!
- Finally, and perhaps most excitingly, Floria Sigismondi, director of gorgeous music videos (Bowie, the White Stripes, Marilyn Manson), has been tapped to write and direct Neon Angels, a biopic about the Runaways. Floria and Joan Jett — what a team!
British firebrand and neo-ska star Lily Allen has cancelled most of her current American tour. According to a post on her MySpace page, she?s not really feeling it: ?I am tired, but, more than that, I don?t think I have been giving my best performances recently. I have been getting really drunk because I?ve been so nervous about doing bad shows, and I don?t want people spending money on going to see a show that isn?t the best it could be.? Die-hards will still be able to see Allen perform at a few dates, Coachella and Bonnaroo among them, but her tour?s been truncated. In not-unrelated news, other burgeoning British female artists Lady Sovereign and Amy Winehouse have each had problems with live appearances lately: the former cancelling her U.K. tour because of exhaustion, the latter cancelling selected dates in various countries for a variety of reasons, poor girl. What?s up, Brits? Too much touring? Or too much infighting?
Taking a page from the playbooks of Joy Division and David Bowie, former Roxy Music singer Bryan Ferry praised Nazis in an interview to publicize his new record Dylanesque, due out June 19. Ferry told German publication Welt am Sonntag he found the aesthetics of Nazi Germany "amazing" and calls his London recording studio "the Fuhrerbunker." "My God, the Nazis knew how to put themselves in the limelight and present themselves," Ferry said. Several Jewish organizations were outraged by the remarks, forcing Ferry to retract them. "I apologize unreservedly for any offense caused by my comments on Nazi iconography, which were solely made from an art history perspective."
Does this affect whether you’d buy Bryan Ferry’s albums?
Bow Wow may be flying up the charts, but his partner-in-beef Romeo is the teen MC who’s truly got game right now.
In a hip-hop first, Percy "Romeo" Miller (nee "Lil’ Romeo") will play college basketball for surging West Coast powerhouse USC next season. The move is unprecedented — while many pro hoopsters have tried to cut it in the rap game, Romeo is out to become the first chart-topping MC to go from mics to Nikes. In fact, the only bigtime rapper to get this far up the sports ladder was none other than Romeo’s father, Master P, who tried out for a handful of NBA teams after playing college ball at the University of Houston.
Congratulations to the Millers for making the sports world say, "Huhhh?"
Ball’s in your court, Bow Wow.
Over the weekend, Britney Spears delivered what might be the performance of her career: a rant into a paparazzo’s video camera that’s heavy on the Valley Girl accent and even heavier on the sarcasm. Or, uh, something. Watch the video here, but don’t expect to understand it: as Brit says with facetiousness heavier than a five-pound bag of Cheetos, "America believe everything you read. Because, like, you’re smart and I’m stupid." Yo, America, Britney Spears just called you stupid. That’s like a manatee dissing your curves. How does that make you feel?
And since you’re so stupid, we thought we’d help you out with a line-by-line translation of Brit’s speech after the jump. For real: come on, y’all.
Guess Kelly Clarkson’s iPod has more on it than just Avril Lavigne and Martina McBride. "Never Again," a fierce new eff-off track from her forthcoming disc, contains the faintest wisps of — yikes! — Siouxsie and the Banshees. With chiming 80s guitar, pummelling tom-tom thuds, and goth opera vocals that rub her ex’s face in the mude ("I hope the ring you gave her turns her finger green/I hope when you’re in bed with her you think of me"), Clarkson brings her vicious side to the table. Does this mean that Ashlee Simpson‘s next joint will tilt toward PJ Harvey?
Box Set: Kelly Clarkson
In addition to "Lovable TV Dad" and "Prince of F*cking Darkness," Ozzy Osbourne can add "Willy Wonka-Style Concert Promoter" to his job description. While promoting his annual Ozzfest — the metal event of the summer featuring Hatebreed, Lamb of God and Eurovision titans Lordi — Oz announced tickets for the fest are free. As if that itself didn’t merit throwing the devil horns, select copies of his first album of orginal material in six years, Black Rain, will contain a secret code that gives lucky fans the opportunity at priority tickets four days before the public gets their hands on them.
Will you buy Ozzy’s latest for a shot at good seats?