Kanye Is Better Than You – All of You

by (@katespencer)

Not that we thought we were the “number one human being in music,” but just in case there was any confusion – we’re not. Neither are you. King Kanye West has declared himself “the president of greatness,” and apparently we chose him for the position. At least he looks like he’s enjoying himself. If only we could be his Siamese twin and tag along for the ride. [BWE]

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Tour Survival Guide: Maroon 5

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maroon_5

Our Tour Survival Guide checks in with rockers about life on the road. Here?s Maroon 5′s Adam Levine on the perils of antihistimines, yoga and the greatest city on earth.

Cold Medication Can Be Hazardous To Your Rock
I was sick and we were playing a show in Vancouver. I was really stuffed up, so I took an antihistamine, which I never take. It sped me up and made me koo-koo and weird. So I smoked a joint to mellow out, and that was just the worst idea ever. I went out there and freaked out. It was a nightmare. An hour is a long time to be on stage. It was about three years ago. I’ll never do that again. I like to save my substances for when I don’t have anything in particular to do.

The Band That Huddles Together…
It’s nice when you’re playing music with a group of guys to all be touching in a slightly homoerotic but mostly friendly way. We do the huddle thing, and we tell each other how wonderful we all think the others are. We want to all feel good about ourselves and about playing music. It’s important to huddle before every show. It keeps you in touch. You can’t go on stage without a huddle.

Read more…

Lindsay’s Rehab Release Just Days Away!

by (@katespencer)

lindsay0925.jpgDear Lindsay Lohan,

I heard today that you may leave rehab this weekend. I was immediately scared, as it means you will surely be getting into all sorts of trouble very soon and I’ll have no choice but to write about it and get my carpal tunnel syndrome all messed up again. Ouch. There’s some important stuff you need to know about, as a lot has changed since you stole that car high on coke and ended up back in ‘hab. Hopefully this will help make your transition back to Hollywood – and back onto the mighty gossip blogs – fun n’ easy!

1. Vanessa Hudgens is the new you.
This chick is hotter, younger, and has real live naked pics for us to drool over! And she’s actually been in a popular movie this year. She has replaced you and therefore you must fight with her when you fall off the wagon at Hyde/Winston’s/Les Deux.

2. Having a baby is not a trend just because Nicole Richie is doing it.
I’d steer clear of doing this until you’ve been with your latest boy toy for at least three weeks – maybe a month.

3. Paris Hilton is now dating a uber-hot pizza delivery boy from Sweden.
You’ll be expected to get with a janitor from the lost city of Atlantis. Cheeseball married guys who wear bandanas and claim to be in bands do not count.

4. George Clooney has a new girlfriend.
Now would be the right time for you to try to steal him away.

5. Stop making that effing peace sign.
Just because.

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What’s in Britney Spears’ Bloodstream?

by (@katespencer)

druggiebritney.jpgThe judge in Britney’s custody case has ordered the new restrictions in her case to be put in place, meaning our girl’s gonna be attending those parenting classes real soon. Even better, Brit’s gotta get drug tested twice a week, and we can’t wait to see what they reveal. What could possibly be floating around in that girl’s bloodstream – besides, you know, all the drugs and booze she supposedly ingests?

  • Two tons of Starbucks Venti Java Chip Frappuccino
  • Seventeen liters of Clairol Nice n’ Easy Hair Dye in Natural Light Ash Blonde
  • A bottle’s worth of Fantasy by Britney Spears perfume
  • Cheetos resin
  • One fake nail chewed off five minutes before VMAs performance
  • Bit Bit the chihuahua
  • A couple of fedoras
  • Oh yeah, and a bunch of drugs

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Tuesday: Hayden Panettiere’s Potty Mouth

by (@katespencer)

hayden0925.jpgBritney?s Bizarre Car Rides
The singer used to drive on the wrong side of the road and into oncoming traffic with her kids in the car. Those parenting classes sound more and more necessary. [NY Post]

Heroes Star Freaks Out for Fans
Hayden Panettiere may only be 18-years old but she drops F bombs like an old sailor, cursing out photogs who were crushing a small fan. Our hero! [TMZ]

Paris Takes Up with a Tourist
Her new boyfriend is a Swedish tourist visiting LA for the summer. Let’s hope he takes her home to meet his folks and she never returns.

Jake & Reese Back Together?
The most boring couple on earth can’t seem to decide if they want to be together or not. We’re too busy watching paint dry to even care. [E Online]

Charlie Sheen & Ex Battle Over Kids
They each want their kids, so they each accuse the other of being crazy. Your parents look like angels next to these two lunatics. [NYDN]

Rilo Kiley Rock VH1 Offices

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rilo_kiley
Missed Rilo Kiley at their sold-out Webster Hall shows? So did we, which only compounded our case of the Mondays. The only thing that could salvage our day? Having the adventurous indie darlings over to rock the 20th floor offices of VH1. Which is precisely what they did this morning. To promote their brand new Under the Blacklight, the Kiley stopped by to play us three tracks off their latest.

The band launched into their slinky, sex-worker single “The Moneymaker,” with the lovely Jenny Lewis nailing every note, despite her self-confessed sleepiness. “This is the first time this combination has ever happened,” the floppy-hatted Lewis dead-panned, gesturing to her coffee and her performance. Next up, the band played a bongo-laced version of “Dreamworld,” with co-singer Blake Senett on vocals, before finishing up with the impossibly tiny Lewis warmly belting out the glorious “Silver Lining” (watch the video here). Before they jetted off to their Conan appearance, the band hung around to chat and eat cupcakes. Pop stars — they’re just like us! Check out their latest record here.

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Lindsay Lohan Breaks Up a Marriage

by (@katespencer)

lindsaylohan0924.jpgMight as well face it you’re addicted to coke booze shopping dying your hair sex! Phew – there you have it. We knew Lindsay Lohan was still addicted to something, rehab or no rehab. We doubt this was advised in her group therapy sessions, but it looks like La Lohan is now hooked on home wrecking, after the wife of her alleged rehab romp has filed for divorced and cited the actress as the cause! Stephanie Allen has kicked her “rocker” husband Tony out, after he allegedly got it all up in Lindsay in the bathroom at Cirque Lodge. Stephanie is the heir to the McDonald’s container fortune (no joke) so you know she means business. Tony, front-man of the band Dead Stays Alive, has denied any sort of romance, and pics of him hanging with LiLo during rehab outings are strictly G-rated. But the divorce papers cite adultery as the cause for the split and use tabloid articles about his affair with Lohan as evidence.

Who needs evidence when dealing with LiLo!? She’d probably just lie and say the pants she was wearing weren’t her’s and Tony Allen just happened to be in them. [Image: Getty]

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2007′s Best Hip-Hop Tracks (So Far…)

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Lil? MamaLil’ Mama‘s “Lip Gloss” made the summer afternoons a bit more fun (she be rubbin’ it) and the groove of T.I.‘s “Big Sh*t Poppin’” mowed down everything in its path. By now you know that we’re celebrating hip-hop history, but there are lots of dope tracks being dropped these days, right? We lined-up 20 of the best so far. Come see if your fave is on the list and tell us what’s missing. As T.I. himself sez: “may the best man win, pahdna.”

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Could Britney’s Life Get Any Worse?

by (@katespencer)

Of course it could! She could have uglier, faker extensions. She could – nope, that’s it. Her life has officially hit rock bottom over a 48-hour span. If you don’t believe us, check this shizz out:

  • Bad: On Friday that massive bodyguard, Tony Barretto, who served as a surprise witness in Brit’s custody battle revealed the gory details about life with the singer, which apparently included drug overdoses, whiskey kept in the pantry and her own made-up language. It’s-Ay Ritney-Bay, Itch-Bay!
  • Totes Bad: Also on Friday, she was charged with a hit and run after she rammed her Mercedes into a parked car in August (see video above). Brit was spotted that day leaving her lawyer’s office in tears.
  • Seriously Badtastic: That same bodyguard does a second interview and claims Brit talked about suicide and ate sushi for breakfast. Her craziness clearly has a range.
  • Possibly a Good Thing?: This weekend her lawyers and friends(she has friends?) apparently tried to get Britney back into rehab. She did leave LA this weekend, but is supposedly in Atlanta and not detoxing.
  • It Only Gets Worse: The bodyguard kept his blabbing going on The Today Show this morning. Stay in Atlanta, Brit! We hear the food their is really good fried. You’ll love it!

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Monday: Hilary Duff Drives in Serious Style

by (@katespencer)

hilaryduff_924.jpgPics: Nicole Shows Off her Baby Bikini Bod
Baby belly + skimpy string bikini = total healthy hotness in Hawaii. Way to go Mama Richie! [Just Jared]

Owen Wilson Relaxes with Rocker Pal
The troubled star took it easy at a Cali beach this weekend with former addict and pal Anthony Kiedis in tow. [X17]

Hilary Duff?s $100,000 Birthday Gift
Her new boyfriend surprised her with a Mercedes for her 20th birthday. Joel Madden who? [People]

Richie Sambora Back in Treatment
The Bob Jovi rocker is receiving help for his alcoholism again, this time joining Lindsay Lohan at Cirque Lodge. Anyone else smell a romantic rehab love scandal brewing? [TMZ]

DMX?s Dead Dogs Land Him in Trouble
The three dead dogs found buried on his property were burned and wounded, and the cops aren’t happy about it. We hope this isn’t how Ruff Ryders roll. [TMZ]