Britney Wants to See Your Moves

by (@katespencer)

The pop tard is looking for a few brave souls to strut their stuff in her latest music video. Britney will be holding auditions for the gig this afternoon in Los Angeles and anyone can show up – it’s an open call! Maybe she’s secretly on the hunt for a new husband? If you’re comfortable wearing wigs and pleather while riding stripper poles, head on down today! You may get lucky and end up beside Brit in her next video – if you consider that sort of thing a positive. If your skills are lacking, just bring her some Taco Bell or a Frappucino, you’ll be grinding on camera in no time. [TMZ]

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Lindsay Lohan Will Wash Cars for Cash

by (@katespencer)

lindsay1015.jpgLittle LiLo has apparently squandered all her hard-earned (yeah, right) cash on crap like hotel rooms to do drugs in, fancy pants with drug-laced pockets, rehab to fix her drug problems, lawyers to handle her many DUI charges, and of course, drugs. Rehab alone apparently has cost the actress over $137, 000 – after all, she’s been in and out three times this year. Linds has had to sell her apartments in the Big Apple and Los Angeles in order to put some cash in her pocket, and is shacking up at a producer pal’s house in LA while shooting her latest flick this month because she can’t even afford a stint at a Super 8 Motel. So if acting isn’t a lucrative enough gig to support the $70,000 she likes to spend on tanning, we’ve thought of some other odd jobs Lindsay can do to get that savings account up past the zero mark.

  • Walk Paris Hilton‘s dogs and clean out her monkey’s cage
  • Become Britney’s next assistant
  • Serve as Owen Wilson‘s sober companion
  • Babysit Nicole Richie‘s new baby – or her sunglasses collection
  • Have a bake sale – Linds can sell those pot brownies she surely knows how to make
  • Serve as Al Gore‘s campaign manager if he runs for president – after all, aren’t they like BFF?

[Getty]

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Two Turntables & An Arsenal

by

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Tell us again why private citizens – even those with good/evil artistic personality splits – need automatic weapons? By now you know that T.I. had to skip the BET Awards show on Saturday because he was answering questions from the ATF in ATL regarding his purchase of machine guns and silencers. He’s looking at federal charges, and he’s looking at a lot more than a slap on the wrist, jail-wise.

What are you thoughts on our man and his gun fetish? Should he wind up behind bars?

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Monday: Jessica’s Million Dollar Zits

by (@katespencer)

jess1015.jpgLindsay Ditches Hollywood for Utah
The starlet is apparently moving to Utah full-time to escape the LA grind. Let’s hope Paris and Britney follow suit. [People]

Jessica Simpson Gets Rich Off of Acne
The “actress” is reportedly set to make $3 million from her endorsement deal with ProActive skin care. Proof that she should skip acting and stick to what she knows — zits? [NYP]

Rihanna?s Latest Celebrity Crush
RiRi sets herself up to become to new “it” girl (or Britney Spears junior) and hooks up with man whore Josh Hartnett, 10 years her senior. [Us]

Amy Winehouse Back on Stage

The booze-loving prodigy is set to sing at the Woodie Awards next month in NYC. Lock up your liquor stores, Big Apple! [NYDN]

Ashlee: Binging on Botox?
Jessica’s little sis denies using botox on her beat face, but her wrinkle-free mug seems to say otherwise. Maybe she’s just been borrowing her sister’s Proactive?? [Us]

Snoop Dogg: Gin, Juice, and Lysol

by

snoopbust.jpgMurder wasn’t the case, just carrying a deadly weapon. But the penance has been assigned. Snoop Dogg, one of our heroes in this year’s Hip Hop Honors, will be removing trash and scrubbing toilets on an Orange County clean-up crew. About a year ago, the rap star was busted at an L.A. airport – he had a collapsible baton in his belongings. He plead guilty, and is now about to serve 160 hours of community service. He’s also kicking $10K to the local charity, Right Trak.

Bey, Bey: Phone Home

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On Thursday, Beyonc? unveiled the newest item in her line of ideas to ensure world domination: the B’Phone. It’s said to be designed by Bey herself although that seems unlikely as it does not come with a lace-front wig and is far slimmer than anything you’d expect from her. In short, it is not in her likeness. It includes an MP3 player and, more excitingly, a song that Beyonc? recorded when she was 10! Says Bey:

When I was 10, I recorded a song called ’632-5792′ — a phone number. It’s a little embarrassing but it’s cute. There’s a recording of that song on the phone exclusively for my fans. I wanted to make sure people got a feel for who I really am. It’s only through this phone that you can get this close to my life.

Oh yeah, she’s embarrassed all the way to the bank. And also, I don’t think that this gets me close enough to her life so that I can reach out and smack her upside the head for being arrogant enough to think that on my phone I want some prepubescent warbling that she has had lying around in a shoebox for the past 15 years. If the phone doesn’t go, “Uh oh, uh oh, uh oh, oh no no,” then I DO. NOT. WANT.

But here are some pictures of her at the New York unveiling of this worthless piece of crap anyway:

[Billboard / All images: Getty]

Janet to Jam and Lewis: Let’s Wait a While

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Janet Jackson‘s career is about to get a face lift unlike any it has seen since she got her…face lift. The big news is that Janet’s next album, which she says should be out early next year, may not end up including any contributions from Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis, the production gods that single-handedly turned her into a megastar by outfitting her with the robotic Minneapolis funk that defined her initial musical success. Starting with 1986′s Control, Jam and Lewis have been Janet’s key collaborators, contributing more to each album since than any other outside producer she enlisted. Together the three of them are R&B Voltron. Today, the robot sleeps.

Janet revealed the news during a press conference for her new film Why Did I Get Married?, when she revealed that Ne-Yo, Rodney Jerkins and (everyone groan all together) Jermaine Durpri are on her list of collaborators, but Jam and Lewis are not…at least for now.

Read more…

Could This Be the Blackout Cover?

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After yesterday’s rash of fake covers for Britney Spears‘ forthcoming Blackout disc (including one “verified” by the always reliable source that is Fox News), one comes along that could really be real. Really! Via ONTD, this one supposedly can be found on Sony BMG’s login-only promo site that services images and album info to media outlets. Of course, the irony of this being the possible official cover is that a) it’s about 10 times uglier and tackier than Cheeto-dusted fingers and b) a fan could have made it. Literally! The main image is just a colorized version of a shot previously used for the U.K. version of the “Gimme More” single:

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Look at all that effort! It’s the album-artwork equivalent of that somnambulist performance Britney stumbled through on this year’s VMAs. Or that laughable “Gimme More” video. Or, you know, Britney’s half-hearted attempts to win back her kids. Whatever, at least this project has a theme: sloth.

Bet you Photoshop geniuses have some ideas what the real Brit cover art should look like. Send us some examples to vh1blog@vh1.com and we’ll put them up.

Friday: Orlando Freaks, Crashes Porsche

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Anniston and Vaughn: Kissing + Hugging?
He’s so tall and she’s so cute. They had to reconcile sometime. But will their meetings lead to love?

Bloom Becomes Hollyweird Accident Star #4723
Dude leaps from sidewalk into some guy’s car, busts up his own ride later in the evening. It’s all good.

Brit’s CD Label Sues Perez Hilton For Leaks
Evidently it’s not cool to leak tracks from the blogosphere’s number one party girl. If you do this, you will talk to lawyers.

Hot in Here: Al Gore Wins Nobel Prize
If you fight the good fight, you will be recognized – unless you’re running for president and you’re counting on Florida.

What Does Baby Borat Look Like?
No, Sascha Baron Cohen’s kid hasn’t been born yet, but mom sure looks like she’s going to drop him/her any day now.

Justice on Kimmel: Halloween Hits Early

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It wasn’t Live Earth or the Dream Concert, just the Jimmy Kimmel show. But Michael Jackson, Prince, Rod Stewart, Stevie Wonder, and Rick James all united on-stage for a throwback disco ditty that may be junk but sure is juicy. Justice, the French electronica outfit, is officially in the house with its new Daft Punk meets The Go! Team workout tune, “D.A.N.C.E.” And you thought that Gorillaz were the only production team working the cartoon character shtick.

Friday morning query: Will you forward this to a friend over the weekend?