Kranky Kanye Says He and MTV Are Kaput

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Kanye WestSomewhere between Brit doing those thorazine twirls and her old beau Justin Timberlake moonwalking to close the show, it dawned on Kanye West that he wasn’t part of the VMAs main-stage action. Yep, it’s cool up in the Hugh Hefner Sky Villa, but it ain’t the main stage, y’all. Only one thing to do. Let it be known that he and MTV are parting ways. This, after telling a pre-show gaggle on onlookers that he, not Spears, should have opened the spectacle. (He’s definitely right about that.)

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Monday: Paris Has a Big Mouth, Rihanna Has Two Moon Men

by (@katespencer)

rihanna_vmas.jpgMischa?s Nonexistent Nipple Slip
The O.C. star’s rep says claims of a nipple slip are untrue because no photographic evidence exists. Knowing Mischa and her flashing ways, we believe it without any proof. [NYP]

Rihanna and JT Snag VMA Awards
Amidst all the fights and flops, these two stars pocketed a couple Moon Men each for actually having a little talent. You paying attention, Brit? [People]

Lindsay Looks Hot in Rehab
While her celeb pals partied in Vegas, LiLo looked adorable hanging with her new rehab buddies in Utah. Blink and you might confuse her for a normal 21-year old. [X17]

Paris Blows Xtina?s Baby Secret
The ditzy heiress revealed to the crowd at a Vegas bash that the Xtina’s knocked up, even though she has yet to confirm that she’s with child. Paris called her “the most beautiful pregnant woman in the world.” Think Nicole’s a little bit hurt? [Us Weekly]

Amy Winehouse?s Money Hungry Dad
The singer’s pop is trying to snag her money in order to prevent Amy (or her skeezy husband) from blowing it on drugs. Maybe he should try to take her cocaine away from her first? [Mollygood]

Britney Spears Bombs on the VMAs

by (@katespencer)

britneyvmas_0911.jpgApparently after going through one deadbeat husband, two kids, three rehab facilities and a whole lot of shaved hair, our pop princess has completely forgotten what once made her great – a hot bod, bangin’ dance moves, and some serious lip-syncing skills. Britney Spears opened MTV’s Video Music Awards tonight with her new song “Gimme More,” and damn, she was effing horrible. It was as if she went to sleep in a sparkly bikini and hooker boots and only woke up when her assistant shoved her on-stage to do her routine. If Brit’s gonna to pretend to have a comeback, she could have at least chugged a few Red Bulls beforehand. Anything to give her a little energy while she stands around lifeless and forgets the lyrics to her new song. Maybe she should have rehearsed more. We were rooting for Brit, but after this mess we’ll pass the next time she tries to give us more.

Examine the pics of her “comeback” and tell us – what do you think of Britney’s big performance?

Images: Getty

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Admit it Jay-Z, You’re Never Proposing to Beyonce

by (@katespencer)

jayzbeyonce0907.jpgThe Hova was asked recently if he was planning on marrying his gal pal Beyonc?, and his response was “One day soon ? let’s leave it at that.” But of course, we can’t just leave it at that. How soon could he possibly mean?

  • When Beyonc? stops falling on her ass onstage?
  • When the original members of Destiny’s Child reunite?
  • When Kanye West and 50 Cent record an album together?
  • When Jay-Z asks Nas to be his Best Man?
  • When Lindsay Lohan is sober?

We get it J. As soon as never. We’ll save the date. [Us Weekly. Image: Getty]

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The Weekly Wrap Up: New York’s New Look, Britney’s Comeback, and an Itty Bitty Diddy

by (@katespencer)

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Fashion Week WTF: Tyra Banks Regifts Her Hair, Mischa Barton Models Metal Goods

by (@katespencer)

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The celebs came out in full force to the Fashion Rocks Concert last night in NYC, and so did their disastrous outfit choices. Funny how they seem to think it’s okay to honor style without actually having any.

We know what Tyra is thinking in the above photo: “Grrrrrl, I look effing fierce right now. I could write the book on bein’ fierce. Wait – have I already done that? I don’t think so. I’m writing a book then. Fierce.” Really, the only thing fierce about this bow-style is that its wrapped so tightly on her head it’s actually pulling the corners of her mouth up into an almost-smile . She looks like she’s offering up her five-head as a present. It’s a shame, because her outfit is totally bangin’. It’s just that her hair style belongs wrapped around the new car some rich guy just bought his trophy wife and not on her pretty little alien head.

Meanwhile Mischa Barton showed up after accidentally getting tangled in her dog’s chain leash. But she really makes it work!

Check out some stars who did rock fashion last night:

[Images: Getty]

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Pete Doherty’s Cat is a Crackhead

by (@katespencer)

Today we have two contestants duking it out for the title of Craziest Cat Lady!
In one corner is Pete Doherty, who while not an actual woman, has slimmed down to a ladylike figure thanks to years of crack, coke and smack consumption. How dainty! Pete is being accused by pals of fixing a tiny crack pipe out of a liquor bottle and forcing his cats to inhale the smoke from it. One cat now apparently thinks it can fly (can it also talk and relate this info to humans?) and Pete feels like it’s the only person mammal that understands him.

In the other corner is a Russian woman who owns and lives with 130 rescued cats in her tiny two-room apartment. See the video above for a glimpse at what hell looks like for people with animal allergies, and then check out this full news report on her catscapades.

Who you got – Pete or the Cat Rescuer of Novosibirsk, Siberia?

Vanessa Hudgens’ Sexy Naked Pics Are Real

by (@katespencer)

Vanessa Hudgens Nude PhotosHigh School Musical star and alleged good girl Vanessa Hudgens has admitted that the pics of her posing naked that popped up all over the internet yesterday are indeed real. Hurray! We love a good naked picture scandal, especially from a Disney Channel star. We’ll steer clear of posting the pics on The VH1 Blog, but you can check them out here (NSFW!) and also view some more sexy underwear shots (again – NSFW) that Vanessa took of herself. Vanessa’s career may be screwed, but her boyfriend sure is lucky. And now, thanks to the magic of the internet, so are we. [Images: Getty]

Check out our photo gallery of a fully-clothed Vanessa Hudgens:

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Friday: Mary-Kate Hasn’t Smiled in Years, Brad and Jen are BFF

by (@katespencer)

marykateolsen2_0907.jpgMary-Kate Frowns for a Reason
The tiny twin hates getting her photo taken, so she rarely smiles. Spoken like a true billionaire brat. [E Online]

Lily Allen Gets Drunk and Booted
The Brit singer got herself kicked out the GQ Men of the Year Awards after getting hammered and blabbing during the show. She sounds seriously fun.? [A Socialite's Life]

Brad Claims He and Jen Are Friends
Brad says he and his ex still have a “deep friendship.” Who knew not speaking could make people that close? [People]

Lindsay and Dad Reunite at Rehab
The actress saw her dad for the first time in three years when he visited her at rehab in Utah. Their family therapy session must have been a blast! [X17]

Avril Lavigne Hates Her Haters
The pop-punk princess is still as sassy and annoying as her music, and calls people who hate her “losers.” That routine (and her outfits) is so 2002. [US Weekly]

Rock on TV – The Shortlist

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Fashion-Rocks-on-CBSJonesing for music on your television set? You?ve come to the right place, rockers! Check out our shortlist below. For more extensive listings, read our Rock on TV schedule daily.

Fashion Rocks, 9 p.m. (EST), CBS: It doesn’t get much more fabulous than this, folks. Tonight, style leaders and fashion victims alike gather to celebrate the best crossovers between the worlds of clothing and music-making. Scheduled to perform are a whole host of people who embody rock and R&B, bottom-liners who are equally respected for their tough business noses. Expect to see Jennifer Lopez, Mary J. Blige, Usher and Maroon 5. Also expect to see Fergie. Also expect to see some very expensive clothing, and plenty of people aspiring to be Anna Wintour. We doubt they’ll succeed.

Trapped in the Closet, 9 p.m. (EST), IFC: Even R. Kelly couldn’t explain the continuing evolution of his R&B soap. At its premiere, he called the serial “an alien,” which seems appropriate, since aliens are also things that have been both much loved and also much maligned (not to mention terribly lampooned) since their introduction to pop culture. No mind! Here IFC plays the entire hip-hopera, chapters 1-22, so that you can get a handle on all the drama. If you can’t wait, IFC is screening selections from it now on their Web site, too.