The Weekly Wrap Up: Owen’s Hospitalized, Vick’s Guilty, Britney’s an Idiot

by (@katespencer)

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Crazy Talk: Celebs Are So Silly

by (@katespencer)

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Each week we gather the kookiest crap to come down the pike: seems like some stars will say anything. This week’s culprits include a beauty queen, a couple of singers, and a former cokehead. Only the best for you, dear readers!

“I personally believe the U.S. Americans are unable to do so because some people out there in our nation don’t have maps and I believe that our education like such as in South Africa and the Iraq everywhere like such as and I believe they should our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S. or should help South Africa or should help the Iraq and Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future for us.” - Miss Teen South Carolina, when asked in the Miss Teen USA pageant why 1/5 of all Americans can?t find our country on a map. [Vh1]

‘I’m right as rain, love you dad’.” ? Amy Winehouse (currently vacationing in St. Lucia) in a text message to her father after he asked if she was okay following her latest drugged up debacle. [DListed]

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50 Cent Serves Up Whole New Plate of Beef

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Round 72, part IV of Kanye vs. 50: In an interview with San Diego morning radio show AJ’s Playhouse, 50 told everyone what he really thinks of Kanye — he sucks. 50 also claimed his rival’s label would be padding sales by purchasing 200,000 copies of Kanye’s Graduation, and stating, “he sounds like a robot, he has a robot record.? Given Ye’s penchant for all things Daft Punk, he might not find this to be that insulting. We’re so confused — didn’t the two not-at-all-publicity-hungry rappers quash their beef when they appeared on stage with one another at Screamfest? There are also rumors abounding of a Rolling Stone cover of Kanye and 50, together. So what’s with all the bickering? Is this the greatest marketing coup ever, or the beggining of one of rap’s heaftiest beefs?

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Who Got Biggie?

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sean_biggie2.gifIs there a borderline obese teen in your life with a passing resemblance to the greatest rapper of all time, the Notorious B.I.G.? Can he grunt, breathe heavily through his mouth and train his eyes to point in two different directions? Well, he could be in luck! Despite reports earlier this week suggesting that one-hit-wonder-in-the-making Sean Kingston had landed the role, a producer of the Biggie biopic denies that any such casting choice has been made. “The role for B.I.G is 100 percent open and we are diligently searching for the individual to seize the moment and fill those giant shoes of greatness. Everyone is being considered, including Sean Kingston but no one has been chosen,” says producer Wayne Barrow. In the aforementioned, earlier report, Sean claimed he “nailed” his audition. We hope this turn of events doesn’t make him suicidal. Suicidal. Suicidal. [AllHipHop.com]

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Friday: Rihanna Says She’s Single, Gwen Flaunts Her Goods

by (@katespencer)

rihanna083107.jpgBrit?s Ex-Manager Feels K-Fed’s Wrath
Larry Rudolph was in hiding for weeks but there’s no stopping the K-Fed subpoena machine. Britney’s former manager will be forced to dish the dirt on the star in court – think she fed him booze to help him fall asleep too? [Us Weekly]

Owen?s Lawyer Denies Pill Popping
The actor’s counsel admits that Wilson slit his wrist in a suicide attempt but says no pills were ingested. It doesn’t really matter what he did or didn’t do – it’s still all just really sad. [WWTDD]

Rihanna Keeps New Love on the DL
The sexy singer tries to play it cool about her new man, saying “we are just friends.” Whatever – he’ll be under her umbrella soon enough. [DListed]

Gwen?s Got the Hot Mom Look Down
The Harajuku girl shows off her goods while vacationing with her fam in Hawaii. Think Kingston will be embarrassed when he realizes his mom’s a MILF? [WWTDD]

Pics: Angelina: From Iraq to Family Time
There’s a reason she stays so skinny – she just jets around and never eats. She’s either a super mom or super crazy. [Just Jared]

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Rock on TV – The Shortlist

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metal1.jpgJonesing for music on your television set?? Well, you?ve come to the right place! Check out our shortlist below. For more extensive listings, read VH1?s Rock on TV schedule daily.

Heavy: The Story of Metal: Welcome to My Nightmare, 8 p.m. (EST), VH1 Classic: We know what you want. We know what you need. We know what you crave . . . because we crave it, too. You know what we’re talking about. That’s right: We’re talking about metal. Heavy metal. Glam metal. Sludge metal. Death metal. British metal. Hair metal. Speed metal. Clown metal. Post-modern metal. Underoo metal. Folk metal. It doesn’t matter to us — any sort of metal will do. Tonight, we continue to help shorten the country’s attention span by reviewing the past 40 years in the heaviest rock around with this series of documentaries. Break out the assless chaps and sheepskin-lined jean-jacket, underachievers. Get ready to rock all. night. long.

The Henry Rollins Show, 11 p.m. (EST), IFC: The buff former Black Flag frontman (and one-time ice-cream vendor!) treats audiences to some political conversation with Ariana Huffington and a musical performance by Sinead O’Connor. One time, a long time ago, Sinead tore up a picture of the pope on national television. It was a very big deal back then. These days she’s exploring a more Rastafarian vibe. If you can dig it, we suggest you hang.

What Are Your Favorite Songs of the ’90s?

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britneyspearshitmebaby.jpgAh, the ’90s.?What a?decade: U2 dressed up like girls, Tupac‘s stomach tattoo?was legendary, and we were all?feeling so magnanimous that somehow Moby became a star. VH1′s 100 Greatest Songs of the ’90s celebrates the days when Britney Spears wasn’t crazy, just jailbait, and O.D.B. was racking up court dates faster than Ike Turner times Phil Spector to the power of?Lindsay Lohan. Now it’s time to honor the decade that began with C&C Music Factory and ended with the stupidity of Woodstock ’99. We want your participation, too. What songs do you think should?make the list? Vote here, now. The people will have their voice! (The show airs in December, so check back for updates.)

Foxy and Her Weave Come Undone in Jail

by (@katespencer)

Get yo weave on!It sounds like Foxy’s kinda losing it in prison, and it’s not just because she misses all of her Louis Vuitton bags. Her fellow inmates have been instructed not to look at or speak to the hip hop diva, who apparently is desperate for some human contact. “She’s [alone] all day, every day,” a former inmate said “They’re just keeping her away from everybody.”

Foxy has to take her rec time and meals alone for “security reasons” – to protect her fellow inmates from her Blackberry-throwing ways, probably. Brown has also thrown fits about getting potato chips and washes down meals of ramen noodles with orange soda. Ex-inmates also report that her weave is a total mess, with one saying, “Her hair looks like whoever did it ran. That’s how much the weave is coming apart.” Just like her life. [NYP. Image: Getty]

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“Umbrella” Could Have Been Brit’s Song

by (@katespencer)

britney083007.jpgList of Things I Regret
By Britney Jean Spears

  1. K-Fed
  2. Sean Preston
  3. That other baby I have
  4. Not wearing pants yesterday
  5. Passing on “Umbrella,” which could have been my ticket to Comeback City ya’ll!

Britney Spears is dumb enough to eat Cheetos for every meal, but is she really that stupid to not snatch the song “Umbrella” when it was offered to her? Apparently. Producer Tricky was holding the song for Brit but her people never called him back about it. Flash forward a few months, and well, you know the outcome – Rihanna is our queen and Britney the court jester. [Popcrunch. Image: Getty]

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Lindsay: Doped Up & Doing Dudes in Rehab

by (@katespencer)

lindsay083007.jpgWe like our Lindsay Lohan one way and one way ONLY. Crazy, cracked out, and knockin’ boots. Thankfully we’ve learned that even rehab cannot change her – no matter how many times she tries! The latest dirty news to come out of Utah this week is that LiLo was forced to take a drug test which came back positive. A rehab spy said, “Lindsay got called into the director?s office on August 15 and was questioned about drugs. When ordered to take a drug test, she reluctantly complied but screamed and cursed at the medical director before storming out the room. She was told that if she couldn?t conform to the programme she?d have to leave.?

Of course she allegedly failed the test. What’s even juicier is that she also apparently got caught getting her bone on in the bathroom with a fellow patient. I want to believe these rumors, but I feel like even Lindsay is above bathroom sex. That’s so Britney. Lindsay would at least steal away to one of the massage rooms or something. Girl’s got a little class. Just a little. [Mollygood. Image: Getty]

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