The Weekly Wrap Up: Ja Rule Speaks, Britney Snaps & Kosmo Closes His Final Set

by (@katespencer)

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Mariah Carey Smells Like 2005

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Remember that ridiculous print ad for Mariah Carey’s M perfume that hit the web last month? Now you can see it in motion on a commercial that also features a song that people are whispering may be Mariah’s new single. It seems to be a ballad with the same Jermaine Dupri-styled mechanical percussion that was present on her comeback megahits “We Belong Together” and “Don’t Forget About Us.” Ah, 2005. We’ve missed you so!

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Did you catch her brushing it between her breasts? She’s no Wendy Williams, but she sure knows how to entertain.

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Lil Wayne Makes Babies, Love & Hip Hop

by (@katespencer)

lilwayne.jpgOh sh*t ya’ll. The interview with hip hop prodigy Lil Wayne in the upcoming issue of Vibe is gonna be money. How money you ask? Try this gem – in which Wayne talks about his relationship with his first wife and baby-mamma – out for size:

“…I was on tour like crazy with Cash Money, and my momma said she was bored, alone, and scared in the house by herself. She was like, ‘Why don’t you just have a baby with somebody? Just tell the little girl’s mom I’ma take care of the baby, don’t worry about that.’ I was like, ‘I don’t have nobody I like like that!’ She was like, ‘Just find somebody! You don’t like Toya?’ I was like, ‘Alright, I like her then.’ Toya was 14 when she got pregnant, and I was 15 asking 14-year-olds. Toya’s the only person that agreed outta all the ones I asked. I said that my momma wants a child. And they was like, ‘That’s your momma’s problem!’ So Toya was like, ‘Shiiit, when we due, boo?’”

Read more…

Teenage Wasteland, After All These Years

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More proof that the party was over before you even dared to knock on the door — Amazing Journey: The Story of The Who. The film chronicles the rise of the British rock superpower, the band that not only hoped they’d die before they got old but helped coin the term “rock opera.” Roger Daltrey, Pete Townsend, John Entwhistle and Keith Moon provided a punkish counterpoint to the bluesier Stones and acid-addled Beatles; they were wild and free, crazy and beautiful, and their drummer was so unpredictable he once parked a car in a swimming pool. Anyway . . . VH1 will premiere the film on November 3rd (our version comes with 20 extra minutes, so be sure to watch). Above is the exclusive trailer. Don’t cry. Don’t raise your eye. It’s only teenage wasteland, yo.

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Do You Believe This is Britney Spears?

by (@katespencer)

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Have you seen Britney Spears lately? She’s all sorts of messed up – fake blue contacts a blazin’, stains on her 1980′s purple Fashion Bug button down tank-blouse, with some serious bra-less boob action going on underneath. She doesn’t need a stylist, she needs a mom. Considering her current state of nastiness, the above ad for her new perfume – appropriately named Believe – is all that more amazing. This isn’t airbrushing, it’s editorial welding! And seriously, has she ever had hair that looks like organic corn silk? Even when her locks were real, they still had that crispy, “been ruined since her first perm at age 6″ look to them. Also, she’s got some serious finger balancing skills. Look at that perfume bottle go! [DListed]

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Chris Crocker Hates Britney Spears

by (@katespencer)

Are you sick of Chris Crocker yet? Yeah, we are too. But still, this remix of his “Leave Britney Alone” monstrosity is worth watching, if only because his shrieks sound a lot better when they’re making him – and Britney – look like an even bigger loser. Amazingly, this guy now has a TV show in the works. Would you ever watch a half hour of this nonsense? We’d rather be stuck with a Kid Nation marathon than watch this guy’s insanity for 30 seconds. [via Just Jared]

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Snoop + Dre Chasing (Underaged) Girlies

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Lotsa crazy-azz shizzle goes down when musicians are out on tour. Our “Tales From the Road” feature has our Hip-Hop Honors heroes come clean about some dodgey events. Snoop‘s got a good one about him and Dr. Dre trying to get some sexy time with female fans back in the early days of their career. Seems the Doggy’s daddy was involved, too. Guess highjinks are just part of the deal when you’re bouncing ladies around hotel rooms…

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Friday: Nicole Richie Finally Learns Booze is Bad

by (@katespencer)

nicole0928.jpgUsher?s Wife Inspires New Fragrance
The singer’s wife claims to be the inspiration for her man’s new perfume. So it smells mean and bitchy? [NYDN]

Nicole Richie Starts Alcohol Treatment
The pregnant starlet has started her intense, court-ordered alcohol treatment program. Do it for the kid, mom-to-be! [People]

Famous Pals Rally Around Owen
Ben Stiller publicly offers his depressed pal support – and vows to make another lame movie for him to star in when he’s better. [People]

Perfect Angelina Fired From Gig
Clothing line St. John has let Angie go as their model. But we thought she was good at everything? [WWTDD]

Clubbin? Diddy Cops an Attitude
The hip hop star gave a downtown club’s hostess some major lip when she asked how many people were in his party. Doesn’t she know the answer is “Everybody, baby?” Dummy. [NY Post]

Fashion WTF: Lauren’s Dress Disaster

by (@katespencer)

laurenc1.jpgAt last night’s Us Weekly Hot Hollywood 2007 party, all the adorable young stars were out putting their best-dressed foot forward – everyone except Hills darling Lauren Conrad. The starlet – who recently launched her own fashion line – looked less like an expert designer and more like she landed in a pile of candy corn and glitter. It’s not that we’re on Team Heidi or anything, but we definitely bat for Team Have a Little Style.

Check out Lauren’s get-up and ogle at other stars’ outfits below.

[Images: Getty]

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Lindsay Lohan Not Leaving Rehab Yet

by (@katespencer)

lindsayl0927.jpgPhew! The roads are safe! Dina Lohan spoke out about the rumors that her daughter was bailing on Cirque Lodge this weekend, with this simple text message to Access Holywood: ?Not true staying in Utah.? How eloquent! It’s amazing that someone lacking in the creative text message department could spawn a child who coined the term “boog suge.” You read that right, but let me break it down for you in case it’s at all confusing:

Boog Suge = Booger Sugar = Nose Candy = Harmful sugar-like powder that one puts up one’s nose and leaves the user ready to do – and spend thousands – on more! [Note: May cause user to steal car and try to run ex-assistant and her mother off road]

Genius, LiLo! According to Steve-O, that’s what the starlet calls cocaine, and he knows this because she recently (before rehab, obvs) stole his stash from his bathroom. So if there’s any question as to why our friend is hanging out in rehab for a little bit longer, there’s your answer. We can’t wait to hear the adorable slang word Linds is gonna coin for “sobriety!” [NYP. Image: Getty]

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