Tuesday: Halle Berry’s Bad Joke

by (@katespencer)

halle1023.jpgCheck out Brit?s New Big Lips
What’s shocking about these pics is not the size of Britney’s newly enhanced lips, but rather how rough her face is looking these days. Ease up on those fake tans, girl. [Us]

Halle Berry Sorry for Rude Remark
A remorseful Halle Berry apologizes for a ‘Jewish joke’ gone wrong on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. [NYP]

J Lo?s Stingy Reputation
Lopez is refusing to pay the bills she racked up providing cars for peeps like her sister while shooting her last flick. Maybe she’s confused – it’s love that don’t cost a thing, not limos. [NYP]

Reese and Jake Kiss – OMG!!!
It’s only taken these two like, a hundred years to finally show some real PDA – and it’s not even scandalous! We won’t see the sex tape until 2065.? [Us]

Tom Cruise Shows Fans Crazy Love
Little Tommy worked the red carpet and schmoozed with fans for two and a half hours at his new film’s premiere. Even the crazy celebs gotta work hard for their money. [Socialite's Life]

Paris Hilton And Her Frozen Dogs

by (@katespencer)

paris1022.jpgParis Hilton is bringing new meaning to the term ‘frigid bitch’ (which you know, she isn’t – she’s more of a hot ho) with her latest plan to freeze herself and her dogs at the Cryonics Institute so that they can be brought back to life after they die. Or as Paris tells it, “It’s so cool. Almost all the cells in the body are still alive when death is pronounced. And if you’re immediately cooled, you can be perfectly preserved. My life could be extended by hundreds and thousands of years.”

Yes, what you’re thinking is correct. It doesn’t matter if we cure poverty, hunger, terrorism and disease. The biggest threat to humanity is attempting to infest out planet for “hundreds and thousands of years!” Shouldn’t we just give up now? Armageddon is coming and it’s in size 10 stilettos and bad makeup. [DListed. Getty]

Spice Wars: Is The Reunion Turning Ugly?

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The beloved Spice Girls have stopped having Eddie Murphy‘s babies, dancing with stars and cheering on benched soccer-playing husbands long enough to put together a reunion, but it might not be all sugar and….uh, spice. While filming a video for one of two brand new tracks they’re releasing, things in Spice World got tense. “The girls were so tired and Emma was crying as the shoot just went on and on. Geri kept slowing things down by meditating and doing strange spiritual stuff,” a source told UK paper The Sun. In addition, Posh allegedly requested an assistant follow her around the video set with fruit and champagne, which seems like the least likely claim, given that we don’t think she ingests anything.

The Girls had their own spin on the video shoot for “Headlines (Friendship Never Ends),” with Posh telling their website she was just happy to see her fellow bandmates: “What’s really wonderful is just being able to hang out with the girls like this again.” In a terribly classy marketing move, their Greatest Hits album will be available exclusively at Victoria’s Secrets in the United States.

Britney’s Best Day Ever!

by (@katespencer)

britneyspears1022.jpgPhew ya’ll! Britney’s visitation with her kids has been restored, and the rotten-toothed threesome was spotted on Saturday tooting around Studio City in mommy’s Mercedes with her parenting counselor in the passenger seat (and a giant Starbucks in her hand). This alone begs the question – does Britney know how to do anything with those kids BUT drive them around in her car? Doesn’t she have a swing set she can strap them too? The singer’s super day didn’t start until after the kiddies left her mansion the following morning, when she was finally able to live the life that only exists for us regular folks in dreams. While most of America was doing laundry and scrubbing stains out of their carpets yesterday, Britney was ingesting various sweet things and cooking herself in a tanning bed.? Her day kind of makes you realize that screwed-up millionaires really do have it better, even if their bodies are just vessels packed with wrinkled skin and sugar. Lots and lots of sugar.

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50 Cent Gets Illmatic: “Nas Sucks”

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NasLots of controversy still swirling around the title of Nas‘ forthcoming disc, Nigger. Some people, like Common, support the decision. “Nas is always bringing something new, something to talk about,” he recently told MTV News. Common cited previous agitprop artists like Gil Scott-Heron as forerunners to such political maneuvers. But 50 Cent weighed in with a comparatively blunt opinion. “Nas sucks,” he blasted. “That’s a stupid name…it’s for shock value.”

The CD comes out on 12/11. Have you absorbed its impact yet? What do you think about Nas’ title?

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Jermaine Dupri Takes on Timberlake

by (@katespencer)

jdjt.jpgJermaine Dupri is releasing an autobiography (why?) about his life, natch, entitled “Young, Rich and Dangerous.” Inside the pages he takes a little dig at America’s favorite pelvic-gyrating pop star Justin Timberlake, writing “I think Justin Timberlake is a talented performer. But he’s very ordinary-looking. He could be any skinny white kid from the suburbs of Orlando. You could go to the mall and find another Justin. He doesn’t make his style interesting even when he’s onstage. To me, he just doesn’t look like a star.”

Woah there! Does JD really want to start beef with the TimberKing over – of all things -? his looks? Last time we check he wasn’t ranking that high on the sexy scale either (and isn’t he like, a lot shorter than Janet?) Sure Dupri was worth $60 million in 2006, but JT’s catching up – according to Forbes his tour alone brought in $41 million for April to August. Maybe Jermaine should put down his pen and head out to some mall in Orlando and find himself the next Justin .?? [NYP. Images: Getty]

Kid Rock Loves Waffles & Beat Downs

by (@katespencer)

kidrockmug.jpgAwwwwwww. Doesn’t Kid Rock look adorable in his mugshot? Just some sweet old down home guy, enjoying his Grilled Bacon Texas Cheesesteak Melt Plate at an Atlanta Waffle House with some pals, chatting about football and family. Until - duh duh duhhh - some random waffle hungry dude dared speak to a woman in Kid’s entourage! The chat (which currently sounds fairly innocent) led the singer and his entourage to go all Tommy Lee on the guy, Harlem DeJon Akins, who “suffered minor cuts and bruises after punching and breaking a window at the Waffle House.” It sounds like the glass did all the real dirty work but the cops still arrested Kid Rock anyway and charged him with battery. No word on if he was released yet on bail but we hope it happens soon – his food is probably getting cold. [VH1 News]

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Britney’s Blackout: Early Reviews Are In

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For fans of the disgraced pop princess, tomorrow’s a special day: VH1 will be streaming the new Britney Spears record, in its entirety. So what’s the word back on what you can expect? A bevy of experts have already weighed in. And the news will disappoint all you haters out there: If you believe the critics, Blackout is actually supposed to be pretty good. How do you think it will compare to her previous work?

“She may no longer dance with flair, lip-sync on cue, keep her dress down, or even be judged a suitable mom, but Britney Spears can still turn up on some slammin’ new songs. The much-whispered-about, oft-giggled-over Blackout album, the singer’s first in four years, contains flashes of the zippy pop and propulsive dance beats Brit fans treasure, despite the singer’s, shall we say, distracting activities of the last year.” – The New York Daily News

“This album is going to be #1!!! Everyone needs to back the hell off. Her family wouldn?t have nothing if it weren?t for her. Even Mr. Federline he has what he has because of her. She has made everyone lives better. She?s young and just living her life (and yes the way she wants ). I?m so excited, can?t wait for the 30th!!! YOU GO GIRL!!” – Ashley, a rather intense fan of Britney Spears, in a post at VH1.com
Read more…

Monday: Ellen’s History of Homeless Dogs

by (@katespencer)

ellen1022.jpgJ. Lo?s Hubby: Singing About Baby?
Marc Anthony belted out Journey’s love song “Faithfully” at a recent show and dedicated it to his wife. Either he wants us to know she’s knocked up, or he just loves really bad 80′s jams. [Us]

Britney Gets Her Babies Back
The singer had her visitation rights with her kids reinstated, which means they’ll probably be taken away in a couple of hours. [TMZ]

Is Ellen a Chronic Dog Ditcher?
A producer has come forward to reveal that the talk show host adopted, and then re-gifted, her pup a few years back. The plot of Puppy-gate thickens! [NYP]

Kim Kardashian Claims to be Tame
The big-bootied nobody says she’s not a party girl – she just poses as one in Playboy. [Us]

Brangelina Mix Business with Pleasure
The perfect pair are producing a new HBO show together about aid workers saving the world. We wanted sex tapes! [People]

Hear The New Britney Disc on Tuesday!

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If controversy is your cup of tea, be here Tuesday morning to hear Britney Spears‘ wildly-anticipated CD, Blackout. Lots of Brit tracks have hit the Web in various forms during the last few weeks, but Tuesday is the day when the real deal comes to town. Many of the songs are said to have a synth-driven dance vibe, a la the lead track, “Gimme More.” One, “Get Naked (I Got a Plan),” certainly has sex on its mind. Pundits have said that the album is more impressive than one might think given the singer’s recent escapades. At any rate, the ball will be in your court. We expect lots of comments when you’re done listening to the CD in its entirety courtesy of VH1′s The Leak. As a matter of fact, weigh in now: will the disc live up to Brit’s previous work?

Make the jump to see Blackout‘s final track listing. Watch a fun overview of Brit’s career in Box Set.

Read more…