Every day we’re amazed at the ridiculous things that come out of the mouths of famous people. We’ve rounded up the best of this week’s wackiest celeb statements for your reading pleasure, straight from Jamie Foxx, Amy Winehouse, and a slew of your other favorite stars. Enjoy their wise words – and your sanity.
- “If they’re using dry paper, they aren’t washing all of themselves. It’s just unclean. So if I go in a woman’s house and see the toilet paper there, I’ll explain this. And if she doesn’t make the adjustment to baby wipes, I’ll know she’s not completely clean.” ? Terrence Howard, detailing to Elle Magazine why he will only date women who use baby wipes after going to the bathroom. [DListed]
- ?Blake is the best man in the world. We would never ever harm each other. Take back what you said on the blog. I thought you was my girl. I was cutting myself after he found me in our room about to do drugs with a call girl and rightly said I wasn?t good enough for him. I lost it and he saved my life.? - Amy Winehouse in a text message to blogger Perez Hilton, following a bloddy fight with her husband. [PerezHilton]
After getting off nice n’ easy with a plea bargain that will land the starlet with one day of jail time and ten days community service, Lindsay Lohan released the following statement admitting – finally – that she is “addicted to alcohol and drugs.” Give it a read and let us know what you think – is she fully changed or full of s**t?
“It is clear to me that my life has become completely unmanageable because I am addicted to alcohol and drugs. Recently, I relapsed and did things for which I am ashamed. I broke the law, and today I took responsibility by pleading guilty to the charges in my case. No matter what I said when I was under the influence on the day I was arrested, I am not blaming anyone else for my conduct other than myself. I thank God I did not injure others. I easily could have. I very much want to be healthy and gain control of my life and career and have asked for medical help in doing so. I am taking these steps to improve my life. Luckily, I am not alone in my daily struggle and I know that people like me have succeeded. Maybe with time it will become easier. I hope so.”
[TMZ. Booking Image]
Lindsay Lohan’s No Felon
Lindsay Caught Buying Beer in Rehab?
Lindsay’s Spa-hab Vacation
Browse Lindsay Lohan Photos
The latest installment of the Amy Winehouse saga has taken a left off of disturbing onto the expressway to tragic. On Thursday night the rehab-averse Winehouse was spotted ducking into a newsagent to pick up smokes, bloodied and her signature eye make-up smeared. Photos of her sliced up husband (commonly thought of as the British Kevin Federline) and Winehouse were quickly put up on PerezHilton.com, but here’s where the story takes a turn for the battered wife syndrome. After texting Amy to convey his concern, Perez receives several texts back, explaining what happened: “I was cutting myself after he found me in our room about to do drugs with a call girl and rightly said I wasn?t good enough for him. I lost it and he saved my life.” As time goes on Winehouse gets more and more agitated that Perez hasn’t posted her version of events, stating her husband “deserves the truth, he is an amazing man who saved my life again and got cut badly for his troubles. All he get is horrible stories printed about him and he just keeps quiet, but this i too much.” So let’s get this straight — he’s cool with getting sliced with razor blades and finding his wife doing drugs in a bathroom, but the final straw is “lies” on the internet?
Katie Holmes Takes a Spill
Mrs. Cruise trips and skins her knee while walking with Suri in a massive pair of high heels. It’s the most normal thing she’s ever done! [X17]
Timberlake Conquers Hollywood
Justin continues his quest to be the ultimate renaissance man and signs on to star in a new film with Mike Myers, that surprisingly does not involve a green monster. [Variety]
Brangelina Battling Over the Kids?
There are rumors of a major fallout between the hot couple that has resulted in a spat over who gets the kids. We thought these two were really into peace? [Popbytes]
Is Paris Back With Her Ex?
The car belonging to her hunky Greek ex was spotted outside Hilton’s abode in LA. Maybe she’s trying to play catch up with Nicole. [X17]
Pete Doherty Heads Back to Rehab
Sick of this guy and his drug problems yet? Let’s hope he gets clean this time and then gets out of the public eye for good! [DListed]
Beyonce Meets Destiny – On Her Ass
Justin Reminds Britney Who’s In Charge
Angie Gives Up Whips and Leather for Brad
Paris Latches onto ‘Entourage Star’
Pete’s Cats are High on Crack
The LA County District Attorney has finally filed charges against the road raging Lindsay Lohan, and the starlet appears to be getting off easy. Boooooooo. The charges are seven misdemeanors, including two counts of driving under the influence. No felonies were brought against the star for the cocaine that was found in her car, her pants and her bloodstream, which was “below the .05 grams required by office policy for felony filing.” So what does that mean, the coke had worn off? She probably drove into the curb trying to snort a fresh line. If Linds is found guilty of both DUIs she faces up to four days in jail (we hear Nicole Richie needs a cellmate!), and it sounds like they went easy on Linds because she’s young, effed up and has been in rehab three times. A source told TMZ, “Prosecutors in this county see a lot of kids in crisis. There are lots of kids struggling with addiction. The first sign of trouble usually involves a car. We’re not going to throw every one of them in prison. It doesn’t make sense.”
So jail her for making that craptastic stripper murder movie. That makes a whole lot of sense to us. [TMZ. Image: Getty]
Browse La Lohan Photos
Lindsay Caught Buying Beer in Rehab?
Lindsay?s Spa-Hab Vacation
If you think the continued roll-out of chapters in R. Kelly‘s “Trapped in the Closet” saga is insane, here’s something that’s crazier than crazy: R. Kelly reportedly plans to hit the road in October. The nutty part? His kiddie-porn trial doesn’t begin till Sept. 17.
R. Kelly’s camp hasn’t confirmed the tour — in fact, it was his supposed tourmate Keyshia Cole who let the news slip in an otherwise unrelated interview. MTV News points out that assuming that the trial lasts a standard four weeks, this gives him little time to rehearse. And, oh yeah, it also assumes he’ll get off innocent. Booking a tour the size that Kells’ will undoubtedly be when you don’t know if the headliner will be in jail or not is about as risky as filming your famous ass having sex with a minor and hoping that it won’t leak. But then, it would seem that Kells is a gambling man. [MTV News via Idolator]
Here?s What Else Is in R. Kelly?s ?Closet?
R. Kelly?s Expanding His ?Closet?
There’s only one thing we enjoy more than Britney being crazy, and that’s hearing new Britney music! Thankfully we have BOTHnot today. On the crazy front, Lady Spears – who is still at home in California and not peeing her way across Europe – is apparently so desperate to keep her sons that she is thinking of fleeing to London, Madonna style. She was also spotted by Life&Style magazine out at a Hollywood night spot recently looking down and depressed, and when pressed by the mag’s spy about her mood she replied, “My babies are my life.”
Poor thing. Check out her new song that leaked today and you’ll get a sense of the weird, dark place she’s currently living in. Brit actually belts it out pretty hard, when not bizarrely reenacting a phone call with K-Fed. She also apparently loves sampling beats from music boxes. The last line is definitely the best – is she talking about the sun in the sky or the son(s) her ex is trying to take away from her?
Listen to Britney’s new sad slow jam HERE and tell us what you think! Sucktastic or comeback worthy? [Image: Getty]
Britney Bolts to Belgium
Brit Makes Her Worst Career Move Yet
Britney’s Nutty, Naked Photoshoot
Pics: Christina Shows Off Baby Bump
She has yet to make an official statement but she doesn’t really need to, what with outfits like this. Xtina’s knocked up, yall! [IDLYITW]
Paris Spends Big Bucks on New Pad
The heiress has upgraded to a new $6.25 million pad in a gated corner of Beverly Hills. The manse comes with a gym and a wine closet, a clear upgrade from the stripper pole and monkey cage. [Us Weekly]
Jessica Alba Cuddling With Her Ex?
The starlet was spotted on a romantic beach stroll with ex-boyfriend Cash Warren. Apparently she likes to make thousands of grown men cry. [WWTDD]
Bridget Moynahan Gives Birth
Tom Brady’s ex gave birth to their son yesterday, and promptly named the kid ‘I Hate Giselle Bundchen’. [Ny Post]
Cameron and John Get Close in NYC
The couple take things slow but get closer at romantic spots around the city. It’s the summer of canoodling in the Big Apple. [Us Weekly]
Baby Bumpin’ Christina Cancels Tour
Paris Writes Another Book We Won’t Read
Jessica Alba Ruins A Man’s Life