Tila Tequila Takes All Comers

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tequila.jpgOur fair sister network, MTV, has greenlit a somewhat interesting dating show: A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila. The idea behind it? Television’s very first bisexual dating game. Tila Tequila is the Internet celebrity said to be the most popular person on MySpace (and with over 2 million “friends,” whoever’s saying that just might be right). The show will feature 16 straight lesbians and 16 guys debasing themselv. . . er, vying for Tila’s love and attention. As the sexes and sexual orientations do battle, Tila becomes ever more famous and MTV breaks new ground. Or something. Says Ms. Tequila: “The only twist is that these guys and these girls have NO IDEA that I am bisexual and that they are competing against each others sexes!!! GUYS AGAINST GIRLS….WHO WILL I END UP HOOKING UP WITH????? WILL I BE STRAIGHT OR LESBIAN IN THE END?????” Jeez. They’re going to be untangling this one out in wymyn’s studies for the next 50 years or so. And that cash-register noise? Sounds like Tila’s got money in the bank. What you think about that?

Tune in to MTV October 9th at 10 p.m. and check our gallery of Tila Tequila pics.

Britney’s Fans Are Crazier Than She Is

by (@katespencer)

There’s something so painful about this “Britney Fan” that we dare you to try to watch this clip and not immediately want to crawl under your desk in the fetal position and shut yourself off from the world for a year or too. We did not see tears, as the video’s creator claims exists (yes, we watched it in full screen, it was hellish), but we’re sure Britney could learn a thing or two from Chris Crocker‘s performance skills. We would also like to argue that Britney has indeed performed on a stage recently. Remember those “secret shows” she did? So right. Poor, poor Britney. If we leave her alone, Chris, will you stop making horrifying YouTube videos? K’thanks.

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Tommy Lee Dishes on “Kid Pebble” Fight

by (@katespencer)

kidrockvmas.jpgWell it’s a good thing Tommy Lee took to his personal blog to clear up the rumors about his fight with Kid Rock. We had read that Tommy had been taunting Kid all night, but now we know that he was just sitting there, minding his business, and was innocently attacked by the Detroit rap-rocker. Of course! How could we be so stupid. So why would Kid Rock smack Tommy unprovoked? He was probably pissed off that he wore a stripper’s cropped cowboy shirt to an awards show.

Read Tommy’s (edited down) blog post and let us know who you think is in the wrong:

Yeah!! …..here I am minding my own biz having a great time……Pamela comes and sits on my lap who I love and adore….and i get a text from another friend P. Diddy and he says come sit with me…..and he’s sitting with Miss HOT Megan FOX so I go over and sit with P! Not a minute later and Alicia Keys starts her amazing performance….I get a tap on the shoulder from Kid Pebble…I stand up and embrace him with a semi hug and say “Hey dude…What up”?? He punches me in the face…..well if ya wanna call it that!?….more like a bitch slap!…….Wuss!!

[Image: Getty]

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Paging Dr. Cole

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keyshia_cole_vet.jpg

If you thought Keyshia Cole wanted to be a singer when she grew up, think again. The maiden of melismatic melodrama tells Sister 2 Sister‘s Jamie Foster Brown that she has her sights set on “getting married and having kids and becoming a veterinarian.” How’s that for abrupt and…uh, weird? “If it be the Lord’s will, I will have enough money to open up a veterinary hospital. Then I could just hire doctors to come in and I could go to school,” says Keyshia, who clearly has thought about this a lot. But when will she learn the ins and outs of animals? Why, on her tour bus, of course!

Later, Jamie asks Key what will happen in the event of necessary euthanasia. Here’s what Keyshia says:

I won’t do that part. I’ll call somebody else in for that. I can’t hurt them. Somebody else just gonna have to do that part. I’ll do surgeries and stuff to save their life, but that’s not hurting them.

Clearly, the girl has a little more studying to do before we can start referring to her as “Doctor.”

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Kanye West Feuds With MTV

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ye.jpgIt’s Tuesday, meaning Kanye West must have run his mouth again. This time, though, Ye’s pissed off on the Pantyless One’s behalf, too. Speaking on New York radio station Z100, West — whose album Graduation drops today — criticized MTV’s treatment of artists, critiquing Britney‘s much maligned comeback performance from Sunday evening: “When Britney was opening [the VMA telecast], near the end, I felt so bad for her. I said, ‘Man, it’s a dirty game. This game will chew you up and spit you out.’” No word on whether the network was plying the pop tart with margaritas and enforcing a no underwear policy. Kanye then went on to discuss how MTV betrayed him, encouraging him to perform in a suite when he should have been on the main stage of the 2007 VMAs. “It was my dream when I made ‘Stronger’ to open up the VMAs with a real power performance,” West said, bemoaning his performance, which is demonstrative of a larger issue: don’t write songs with dreams of award shows dancing in your head. It will only end in tragedy.
For more of Kanye’s greatest disses, feuds and brags, go here.

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Crazy Courtney Love Gives Kids Drugs

by (@katespencer)

courtneylove150?225.jpgOops! Maybe Courtney Love didn’t know Jack Osbourne was only fifteen years old when she gave him OxyContin for the first time. Still that excuse ain’t gonna fly with his mama Sharon, who fumed:

“I will never have time for Courtney Love. She was the first person to give my son Jack the prescription drug OxyContin. There’s not a shadow of doubt in my mind about that. My dislike towards her is very personal. I’m not saying Jack wouldn’t have taken it if she hadn’t given it to him, but I’m appalled that an adult mother would give that to a 15-year-old boy. How could she do that to someone else’s child? I haven’t had a row with her, but I will never talk to her.”

Ouch. Well kiddies, now you know where to go to get the goods – just look for the crazy lady dressed like a psychedelic clown. Check out the pics below for more of Courtney’s cracked out style from last night’s Marc Jacobs fashion show in NYC [DListed. Images: Getty]

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Brit Chugged Booze Instead of Rehearsing

by (@katespencer)

britneyspears_vmas.jpgNow we know why Brit was stumbling around during her Sunday night VMAs performance – her body wasn’t used to doing the dance steps without a liter of frozen margaritas inside of it. Word is out that Brit was uber-late to her rehearsals in Vegas, and skipped being on time in favor of downing the frozen drink in her hotel room. When she finally made it to her rehearsal over three hours late, she came with an alcoholic bevy in hand. A source said, “She didn’t even get to Las Vegas until 4:30 p.m. It was ridiculous . . . The production people at MTV were freaking out . . . Nobody can tell Britney what to do anymore. No one can control her. She is a mess.”

For more Britastic disasters, tune into VH1 tonight for All Access: Britney’s Most Shocking Year Ever. This new special will take you through the pop tart’s transformation from hot single mama to the bald and boozey flasher she has become in less than twelve months. If you’ve been longing to see Brit attack the paps with her umbrella or ruin her mane with some shaving shears, VH1 has got you covered – tonight at 8:30 PM!

[NYP. Image: Getty]

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Kanye vs Kevlar King: Fiddy Got a Future?

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Kanye West & 5o CentChances are good we’ll be seeing 50 Cent in a group situation from now on. Today begins the retail race between the Kevlar kingpin and his Soundscan nemesis, Kanye West. By now you know about the challenge. Fiddy says he’ll retire from being a solo artist if West’s Graduation outsells Mr. Cent’s Curtis in the next seven days. Whose fans are willing to pony up? Which CD is more fun to listen to? We smell rap’s second biggest money-maker looking at a future of passing the mic if he lives up to his promise. Weigh in below.

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Tuesday: Justin’s Dinner Threesome, Jessica Does the Walk of Shame

by (@katespencer)

jessicasimpson0911.jpgBrangelina?s Super Spoiled Babies
Little Maddox has started kindergarten at a posh NYC school, where he only speaks French and eats gourmet lunches. Oh la (b)la(gh). [TMZ]

JT Celebrates VMAs with Two Ladies
The award-winning hottie skipped the VMA after parties to dine with his mom and girlfriend Jessica Biel. Sigh. He woulda been a good influence on Britney. [People]

Lindsay Loves Her Dad Again
The pair’s reconciliation continues at her Utah rehab, where they picked roses and hugged for the cameras. Who knew the paparazzi would be a part of the healing? [X17]

Mary-Kate Olsen Grows Up on TV
Check out this video of the twin’s most recent televised role – as a God-loving pothead on the hit show Weeds. Wanna see her smoke joints and make out on camera? You got it dude! [Just Jared]

Jessica: Desperate for More Mayer
The sad divorcee was spotted leaving John Mayer’s apartment building yesterday morning. Her body may not be a wonderland, but it’s good enough for a one night stand. [Gawker]

Boys to Men — Mission: Man Band Episodes 6 & 7 Recap

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Mission: Man Band
Hold your applause: Despite clever editing meant to heighten suspense and to lead you to believe that they were going to crash and burn, Sureshot‘s performance at Mansion was an unmitigated success. (Sidebar: Mansion is a Miami club that was the site of a mini Britney Spears meltdown in May — not that a Britney meltdown is that rare an animal.) The men, our putative band of brothers, came together for a rousing show, and they looked good. As Bryan said, they were taking their style cues from the Rat Pack. The audience dug it. Groovy.

Read more…