Faith Hill and the Magic of Touch Ups

by (@katespencer)

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Check out that picture of Faith Hill and she’s lookin’ pretty darn fine for a millionaire mom of three who’s about to turn the big 4-0. She’s even on the cover of Redbook this month! Anddddd that’s where her trouble begins. Jezebel got their hands on the original version of Faith’s cover photo prior to it being touched up with the magical tools that only magazines and wizards possess, and holy Hollywood standards are the results horrifying. The more you look at the touched up cover picture, the more you’ll wonder why we as a society like our celebs to look like straight-up aliens. If the difference in her arm’s shape and size isn’t enough to freak you out, check out her eyes, her back, her posture and, oh, her disappearing hand.  Faith was way better looking before she went under the digital knife, crow’s feet and all.

It’s not just Redbook – touching up has been a normal practice at mags since, like, forever. Just imagine the work that goes into getting rid of Lindsay Lohan‘s under-eye bags and coke nose! Sure, this practice speaks to a larger problem in our culture of misleading images and unreal body expectations. But you know what – I kind of don’t care. I’ll still hungrily buy my beloved fashion mags every month. Because if I can’t ogle at glossy, perfect pics of celebs and then feel bad about my arm fat, is life really even worth living?

Paris: Back To Sing. Sing!

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Ladies and gentlemen, guard your eardrums: Paris Hilton is prepping another album. Certainly, this qualifies as threatening us with a good time, right?

She’s revealed that she’s already in discussions with Timbaland foe Scott Storch, who produced much of her first abomination album. An anonymous source reveals that Paris has been taking voice lessons and is "really serious about her music career." So serious, in fact that she harps on it with the tenacity of a zombie. Here’s what Paris said to E! regarding her sophomore hump:

"I’m already working on my new record. I’ve been in meetings with Scott [Storch] and we’ve been working on it. I’ve been working on it with Scott for a few weeks."

Got that everyone? She’s working on it, she’s working on it, annnnnnd, she’s working on it. It’s comforting that someone with so much to say is making pop music. She’s finally making good on the philanthropy she promised when she was in jail! [E! News]

Tour Survival Guide: Finger Eleven

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Now and then our Tour Survival Guide will check in with rockers about life on the road. Here’s guitarist James Black on how puppies and towels keep Finger Eleven touring.

Video Games Can Be Hazardous to Your Tour
Our other guitar player Rick broke his hand playing video games when we were touring on the last record. He got killed in the game, punched the wall of the bus and broke his hand. It f*cked the tour up for him for a couple weeks. We play four against four usually, and it gets aggressive. Once a year goes by [on the road] you start to put personal touches on everything you do in the game because you?re genuinely angry at the person. But that?s eight months from now.

Bath Towels: The Ultimate Rock Star Extravagance
We ask for seven to nine towels. Sometimes you show up and they give you these little square, face towels. It?s gotta be a nice clean towel — I?d love a bath towel. Usually it?s a hair towel sized-thing. Sometimes [I steal towels from the hotel], if it?s nice and soft, it’s like "I gotta take this." There?s a drawer in our bus for those towels.

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Tangled Up In Bob

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The first clips from the much-talked about Bob Dylan biopic I’m Not There have leaked, and Cate Blanchett’s Bob impression is downright spooky. The scene imagines the first meeting between Dylan and Allen Ginsberg, played by David Cross. Blanchett’s one of six actors depicting the Voice of a Generation, along with Christian Bale, Heath Ledger and Richard Gere. The film was supposed to hit theaters in September, but rumor has it that it will probably be delayed until next year.

G’Day Mate: Meet Paris’ New Aussie Beau

by (@katespencer)

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Paris was spotted getting cuddly (and sandy) on the beach in Malibu this weekend with an Australian surfer named Tyler Atkins. The pair played with the heiress’ new puppy and examined tattoos on Tyler’s body before supposedly making out like crazy. In true Paris form she rocked a bikini and big black heels, tip toeing along that fine line between rich LA girl hot and drag queen hot.

Atkins is a 21-year old Australian t-shirt designer who is pals with Paris’ surfing instructor – the same guy who is also dating her BFF. He basically looks like a Down Under knockoff of Stavros. To really get to know this surfer dude, check out his MySpace page and these two YouTube interviews (linked below), in which he says "heavy" ten thousand times and dishes on his move to LA, the time he got busted at the airport with traces of cocaine on his guitar, and the famous young starlet who drugged him and "forced" him into a threesome. Any guesses on who that might be?

Dad Rock: Eyelined Rockers and Their New Additions

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Gc Good Charlotte rocker (and alleged Nicole Richie babydaddy) Joel Madden has finally put everyone’s mind at ease and addressed the biggest rumor that’s circulating these days: he’s never even heard of the baby boutique Petit Tresor. The boutique was early on cited as the source point for the the near-hysterical speculation as to whether Madden’s waifish girlfriend Nicole Richie is pregant or not. Madden goes on to mention he hasn’t smoked in a week. Thanks for nothing, Joel.

In actual baby news, Killers frontman Brandon Flowers became a dad on Saturday when his wife Tana gave birth to a boy, whose name has not been released. Both mother and baby are reportedly doing well, and Flowers is said to be "thrilled."

Video: Kelly Rowland Collapses Onstage

by (@katespencer)

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The Destiny’s Child star turned solo artist took a tumble while performing at a concert in Nigeria this weekend. The spill happened as she was beginning a performance of "Say My Name" for a crowd of screaming fans. After being taken to a local hospital Rowland was treated for dehydration and released. Her new album, Miss Kelly, is already a huge hit, debuting last week in the number six spot on the Billboard Album Charts. Maybe Beyonc? got jealous and meddled with Kelly’s water supply! Or…maybe she was just damn hot n’ thirsty. You can’t blame us for hoping for a little scandal amongst friends! Check out a video of her fall and diagnosis her yourself. Get well Kelly!

Diddy: Gettin’ Ready to Pay up?

by (@katespencer)

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‘s left a trail of baby mama’s in his ladykillin’ wake, and it’s about to take a big toll on his bank account. The NY Post revealed that the mogul already pays ex Misa Hylton-Brim around $30, 000 a month in child support for their son Justin. But now the newly single Sean Combs may end up dishing out a big bundle of cash each month to support the three kids he has with recent ex Kim Porter. Divorce lawyer Raoul Felder
told the paper: "With Misa Hylton-Brim receiving approximately $30,000 a month, there
is no reason that Ms. Porter shouldn’t be able to get close to $100,000
or more per month in child support. That amount accounts for Porter having three children
with Combs and inflation in the years since Misa received the ruling in
her case."

But for now though it seems Diddy ain’t worried about his dough, cuz he’s got better things to think about – like the hot blonde who was spotted on his arm at his "All White Diddy Affair" in Baltimore Friday night. Who needs to worry about child support when there are ladies to mack? [NY Post, TMZ]

Pics: Jessica Simpson’s Bikini Bonanza

by (@katespencer)

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In what could easily go down as the creepiest pic of the week, Jessica Simpson (with her parents and hairdresser Ken Paves in tow) gives us her best O mouth while watching models debut her new swimwear line in Miami. The bathing suits, which Jess says she is "beyond excited" about, range in style "from all-American girl to bohemian." At the fashion show, Jess got so worked up she exclaimed, "I don’t even know what to do with myself!" Shutting that mouth would probably be a good start.

More pics of bikinis, Kim Kardashian and Papa Joe Simpson – under the cut!

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Is This Man Ugly?

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Hip-hop head honcho Karrine Steffans is on the cusp of releasing another tell-all (The Vixen Diaries hits stores September 25), which means she’s flapping her notorious lips to whomever will listen for the sake of promotion. In this particular case, the woman best known as Superhead, dishes on her…arrangement with Lil’ Wayne in a cover story for the September issue of King. The secret of their mutual arrangement? He’s ugly and she digs it! Says Karrine:

"I always thought he was ugly…One day I Googled Lil Wayne to see what he looked like now. I was like, ‘Oh.’ The memory I had of him was this young kid coming into himself. I started listening to his music and saw that he grew into his ugliness. I don’t like cutesy-tootsie guys, I like a dude that’s a little bit ugly. I don’t want no fine ass…I don’t need no baby hair or your sideburns to be looking like a swirl."

Wow. Lil Wayne overcame ugliness only to land a woman who’s slept with everybody and their favorite rapper! Inspiring! Hip-hop hasn’t seen a triumph of the human spirit this moving since Ma$e learned to talk through rapping. [Image credit: Getty]