Paris: Her Inspirational Words Rock

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A Process A Gift and A Journey

Check out this hilarious new music video on Funny or Die for the song " A Process A Gift and A Journey." It’s a rockin’ jam created out of Paris Hilton‘s jail-inspired writing, which she shared with America on Larry King Live. Her words are so powerful, you won’t know whether to head bang or shed a tear. Who knew the heiress was such an amazing lyricist? [TMZ]

Avril: Been Caught Stealing?

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Avril_2You’re officially having a bad month when there are two people who say you smoked ‘em for songwriting credits. That’s what’s happening with Avril Lavigne these days. Dudes from the 70s power-pop outfit the Rubinoos are suing the sk8ter grrl, saying her "Girlfriend" is a bit too close to their "I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend." (Listen and decide.) This comes on the heels of singer Chantal Kreviazuk claiming that Lady Lavigne, the self-proclaimed "motherf*cking princess," ripped off one of her song ideas, too. Play nice, A, play nice.

Resident Film Critic: Mandy Moore

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Mandy Mandy Moore is no stranger to romantic comedies. With about a dozen of them under her belt, the adorable pop star seems custom-built for the leading lady role — self-effacing, buckets of charisma and charm to spare. Having worked with the patron saints of the genre (like Hugh Grant in American Dreamz and Diana Keaton in Because I Said So), Moore’s a convert to the canon as well — "I?m the biggest fan of romantic comedies," she says. In her latest License to Wed, she plays Meg Ryan to John Krasinski’s Tom Hanks. She sat down with us to tell us a few of her favorites.

Notting Hill: "I?m just a huge Hugh Grant fan. He?s the quintessential romantic comedy leading man. I?d love to work with him again."

You’ve Got Mail: "I know that?s a random choice, and most people would say Sleepless in Seattle, but You?ve Got Mail is really sweet. I love Tom Hanks, and I love Meg Ryan. The two of them together and their chemistry — it?s just such a cute, modern idea of romance and emailing."

Annie Hall:
"It’s the best romantic comedy ever made. I saw it for the first time recently, like two years ago. It?s a miracle."

Something?s Gotta Give
: "I?m the biggest Diane [Keaton] fan. She?s incredible, in her quirky self-deprecating way, and she?s so beautiful, and that movie was hilarious and heart-warming. She?s the best. It doesn?t get any better."

Friday: Mariah Ready to Rock the Big Screen; Angelina Says No to Freebies

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Mariah
Lindsay’s New Man?s Famous Roots
The rehabbing starlet was spotted flirting with a new guy at a July 4th BBQ, and the hottie with super ripped abs has been identified as A.J. Lamas, the actor son of 80′s soap opera hunk Lorenzo Lamas. [X17]

Kelly: My Ex Dated Me for Fame
In a new interview, Clarkson reveals that her ex-boyfriend cheated on her and used her in an attempt to gain fame. He probably learned his lesson once he heard "Since U Been Gone." [JustJared]

Mariah: New Movie Gets Major Props
It’s been almost six years since she flopped in her movie Glitter, and now the diva is heading back to the big screen in the upcoming flick Tennessee. Sources are whispering that she is "really, really good in it." Could it be redemption at last? [NY Post]

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Michael Jackson: Moving to Maryland?

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Mjackson
You read that headline correctly. The King of Pop is checking out vacation homes on Maryland’s Eastern Shore. His publicist told the Washington Post, "He’s always admired the properties on the East Coast because they have
a lot of land. Neverland has 3,000 acres?he
likes privacy. You can’t find as many properties like that on the West
Coast."

Get your evacuation plans ready, Maryland residents! You’re about to be flooded – with craziness. But hey, maybe Michael is a good neighbor. At least your kids could go next door and play in his amusement park.

Jennifer is J-Lo No More

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Jlomarc
Jenny from the block is kicking her old nickname to the curb, a la "Puff Daddy." In a new interview she confesses that J-Lo was created for fun, but then "got out of control and really crazy." Your fault, not ours, Jen. We didn’t force you to use it in every song for three years, nor did we enjoy it.

She also tells The Sun, "That’s all gone with the ridiculous stories about me
throwing tantrums and insisting on Egyptian sheets. That’s all firmly
in my past." After all that warning, even J-Lo Jennifer got fooled by the rocks that she got. But what’s the future hold for our uptown diva? Word broke today that she and her hubby Marc Anthony will hit the road on a joint tour, covering their own songs as well as duets. What a brilliant plan! Instead of one of them sitting at home worrying about the slew of affairs the other is having on the road, they can head out together and ruin each other’s chances of getting hot, backup dancer booty. Isn’t their marriage over already?

50 Says Free Ride Is Over

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50centIf you thought the key to easy street lay with recording a record for G-Unit or maybe inventing a new flavor of Vitamin Water, think again. 50 Cent, budding mogul and onetime golem of Dr. Dre and Eminem, has said enough is enough. Speaking to White Rapper‘s Sacha Jenkins, 50 explained how his artists and their entourages have lightened his wallet by about $8.5 million, give or take. He also said that if his people were looking for a little walking-around money, he was the go-to guy: "Whether I got to give them $500,000 or $300,000 … Just ’cause they want $300,000 more to make what they [are] doing at the time comfortable. Like, ‘yo, I want to get this new place over here.’" Clearly 50′s ideas about friendship differ from most people’s: His ideas about friendship overlap with his ideas about branding and sponsorship. Consider this problem: "I looked around the room, and I was the only person with G-Unit sneakers on. But they were being paid," he adds. "It had become the norm for the check to come, but they were no longer wearing the clothes." Yikes. Those must be some ugly sneakers to risk losing a $500,000 pay day, you know, whenever you feel like it.

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Britney Pens Poem to Mom

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Britneybird
Britney’s legal letter demanding her mom stay far way from her two tots wasn’t the meanest note she handed to Lynne Spears last week. Apparently the pop princess also included a poem entitled "Dear Mama" in her paper pile, detailing what she feels is unforgivable mother-daughter treatment. A source reveals that Brit disowns her mom in the piece, writing that "she couldn?t imagine a mother doing what she did to her child.?

And just what did Lynne do? Well supposedly Britney hired a private investigator to dig up the dirt and obtained recordings of her phone calls with K-Fed. One has her plotting a visit with Sean and Jayden at his place behind the pop princess’ back, in which Lynne even says, "I have to be careful that Britney doesn?t find out!" Nice try Mama. You should know better than to mess with Britney Jean!

Below the jump, our imagined version of Brit’s poetic masterpiece.   

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Diddy’ll Be Missing His Girlfriend, Kate & Pete Part 27

by (@katespencer)

Didkim Diddy‘s living up to his bad boy moniker. After 10 years and three kids (most recently twins, born in December), Diddy and his model-actress girlfriend Kim Porter are calling it quits. The couple have been on-and-off throughout the course of their relationship. This time, though, Porter has purchased a home in Beverly Hills for her and her children, and isn’t coming back to Diddy’s New York digs.

Other occupants of the Heartbreak Hotel? Kate Moss and Pete Doherty. Seems that the couple (who were practically genetically engineered for one another) are on the outs, with Pete taking up with other models, Kate changing the locks and a moving van transporting Pete’s earthly goods to a quaint little trailer in West London.

Thursday: Beyonce Browses Barefoot; Lindsay Skips Booze for Makin’ Out

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Beyonce
Jessica: Flirting with Dane Cook?
Simpson was spotted getting her canoodle on with the comedy hunk (and former co-star) at a recent Prince show. [Mollygood]

Beyonce’s Barefoot Shopping Spree 
The big-voiced diva got a bad rap amongst snobby shoppers at Bergdorf Goodman this past Sunday while shopping for shorts. Apparently Beyonce browsed barefoot, even though she wasn’t anywhere near the shoe department. [NY Post]

Brit Sends Love Letter to Paps
The always kooky Britney penned a sweet letter to the paparazzi, apologizing for that unfortunate umbrella beat down earlier this year. She sarcastically claimed to be preparing for a role – in the sequel to The Shining, perhaps? [X17]

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