Timbaland Getting His Gold Watch Soon?

by (@katespencer)

Timba_2 Uber-producer Timbaland is throwing in the towel. In a recent interview with Gigwise, Tim (real name Timothy Mosley) bemoaned the state of the music industry, stating: “Music is boring right now. I’m too innovative for the world.” Tim then goes on to explain how he’ll “de-crown” himself and let some of the up-and-comers have a shot. “They won’t be able to be me,” Tim explains. “There’s only one Timbaland.” We here at VH1.com put Tim’s retirement party sometime after he finishes touring with Justin Timberlake, produces Madonna’s album, and quits writing all those songs with Simon LeBon for the new Duran Duran record. Which is pretty much never. We’re also elevating Tim to orange on our “Egomanic Alert” guide, for referring to himself in the third person.

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T.I.: Start Making Sense!

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Clifford Harris, the man best known heretofore as T.I., has been flapping his gums about his new album T.I. vs. T.I.P. (out Tuesday) for almost a year, but it’s just now that he’s really spelling out the record’s complicated concept. He’s given his most succinct words on the subject to the New York Daily News, and yet, what he’s talking about is still anyone’s guess. Try, just try, to wrap your head around this:

"I think T.I.P. thinks T.I. is a little too concerned with fame and stardom. And T.I. thinks T.I.P. is too concerned with the way we used to live rather than the way we need to live right now. Both of these individuals reside within Clifford Harris. He just pretty much sits back and watches the show."

Which is to say: nonsense! The only difference between T.I. and some homeless schizophrenic man feeding pigeons on a park bench, ranting about the voices in his head is that T.I. is being paid to talk about his crazy. The homeless man gives it for free. After listening to T.I.’s album, it’s clear that the homeless man offers the better bargain. [New York Daily News]

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The Weekly Wrap-Up: Paris Walks, Lindsay Snorts, T.I. Takes on Ludacris

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Catfight Part 72: Lily Allen vs. Amy Winehouse

by (@katespencer)

Lilywinehouse The audiophiles over at Idolator are reporting that arch media personality and sometime recording artist Lily Allen has taken the feud between her and Amy Winehouse to the next level. Far from being satisfied with critiques from the sidelines, Allen has now taken to dressing up like the "Rehab" songstress to mock her. Yikes. (Full disclosure: Allen’s playing Winehouse on British comedy show Friday Night Project.) In other news, British police questioned Allen about her attack on a paparazzi photographer back in March. What a charming little spitfire she is.

The Future Bad Girls of Hollywood

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Girls
Hollywood sure is quiet these days. LiLo is attending group therapy, Paris has fled to Hawaii and Nicole is browsing for bridal wear. Who’s left in Hollywood to take their place at the top of the Bad Girl
totem pole? We’ve put together some pics of the potential contenders to take their spots. Sure, some are still young and well behaved now, but as we’ve seen before that means nothing in showbiz. Remember, it was only nine years ago that an 11-year old Lindsay was charming us all in The Parent Trap, and now she’s busy detoxing on the Malibu coast.

Let’s hope for better luck for these Future Bad Girls!

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Eve Gets New Ankle Jewelry

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The hip hop starlet plead no contest to her DUI charge this week, which she received in April after crashing her Maserati on Hollywood Boulevard. Her blood alcohol level at the time was twice the legal limit – way past Paris’ .08. Unlike the heiress, Eve will be skipping the slammer and is instead rockin’ a stylish SCRAM ankle bracelet that tests for alcohol vapors released through the skin. It’s the same piece of police bling that Tracey Morgan is currently sporting. Eve will be SCRAM free after 45 days, but is under 36 months probation, must pay $1400 in fines and attend a first offender alcohol education program. With all these stars locked up and off the road, the streets might actually be safe for a few weeks.

Performance Related Issues: The 50 Cent & Lauryn Hill Edition

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Fiddy goes to the video tape, giving a Zapruder film-type analysis of his flubbed performance of "Amusement Park" at Tuesday night’s BET Awards. 106 & Park, the Dateline of the hip-hop world, had the Vitamin Water mogul on to set things straight. Said hostess Rocsi, "He was fearin’ for his life, y’all." Isn’t that par for the course for 50?

According to the San Jose Mercury News, Lauryn Hill’s comeback concert in Oakland on Wednesday was a "fiasco," with the much-talented Hill "huffing and puffing like a weekend warrior," making the crowd wait over two hours, and at one point falling flat on her back. This bums us out to no end. Guess we’ll have to keep playing Miseducation.

Trashy Brit Hands Mom Legal Papers

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Britmom
Check out this video of Britney Spears giving her mom what are apparently legal papers requesting that Lynne Spears stay away from her grandchildren if she is taking medication that impairs her ability to function appropriately in their presence. Supposedly Brit’s motivation is to keep her mom from seeing her kids at Kevin’s house, where she believes the two conspired to force her into rehab. The showdown took place outside a trailer on the set of Jamie Lynne Spears’ TV show, which just seems to be an oh so fitting spot for this trashy mother-daughter battle. X17 has some great close-up shots of Brit doing the deed in skimpy jean cutoffs and a slinky tank top. In the video, you’ll notice that she picks her wedgie and has to pull her shirt straps up constantly. Real classy! Britney should just hand these papers to herself instead.

Friday: Paris Gets Lei’d; Nicole Needs a Wedding Dress

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Paris Says Aloha To Hawaii
Dressed in a strange black wig, floppy straw hat and a billowy white dress, Paris bolts off the mainland for some much need R&R. [TMZ]

K-Fed Won?t Sign Divorce Papers
Kevin is holding off on signing divorce papers because he’s wary of Britney’s recent odd behavior and post-rehab boozing. Who’d have thought he’d be the responsible one?

Oprah to Open Chicago Store
It’s the one thing Oprah has yet to conquer, but now the richest woman in the world is taking a stab at retail, opening up shop near her studio in Chicago to sell Oprah iPod covers and beach totes, as well as African baskets and art.

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